Conspired: A Young Adult Dystopian Romance (The State Series Book 6)

by M. J. Kaestli

  Once they were ready to head out for the day, Lewis leaned in to give her a small kiss—just something for the cameras—but Freya flinched. He quickly inched his mouth over to the side of her lips and lingered long enough for Security to witness a tender, innocent kiss between a happy couple.

  Once they said their goodbyes and Freya headed to her greenhouse, he slipped down to a nearby medical clinic for his first check in. He walked into the clinic and was almost immediately brought into a treatment room.

  His jaw dropped and his stomach churned as those familiar dark, beady eyes and thin pencil lips came into view. He didn’t know why it surprised him to see Dr. Rhetta sitting behind the desk. She was high profile, as was this mission. Perhaps he didn’t realize the implications of having the Head of Psychology monitoring his every move.

  “Lewis, how was your first night?”

  He took a seat. “I think it’s coming along nicely. I was able to expose Freya to Ursa in the exercise facility. She now knows Freya’s identity before she even starts duty today.”

  Dr. Rhetta stared at him, her demanding gaze piercing right through him.

  “That’s wonderful, Lewis, but I’m more interested to know how you and Freya are getting along.”

  Lewis hesitated slightly as her inflection perplexed him. “I think we are getting along just fine. Freya is opening up to me and beginning to trust me. She sees me as a friend.”

  Dr. Rhetta folded her hands carefully on the desk in front of her, intertwining her fingers.

  “Yes, well, that is a start, but I was hoping your relationship would move in a romantic direction—especially since you have already exposed her identity.”

  Lewis was dumbfounded. He couldn’t comprehend why this was so important. “It’s difficult. I don’t think Freya is ready.”

  “Well, make her ready. She needs to fall in love with you before we get her too far into this mission.”

  Lewis hesitated. “I mean no disrespect, but why? Why is it so important she falls in love with me? I’ve never experienced this as part of the mission before.”

  Dr. Rhetta kept her piercing gaze on him, unflinching. “Yes, well, these are special circumstances, Lewis. Freya is young and impressionable. If she gets involved with the rebellion too soon, they may sway her. Whereas, if she’s happy in her life and in love with you, they won’t have the same opportunity to taint her.”

  “I can’t imagine Freya ever getting pulled in by the rebellion. That’s not who she is.”

  “Lewis, she doesn’t have the same mental programming and control over her emotions you do. She is at risk of the rebellion polluting her mind. Keep her grounded. Victor told her that at the end of this mission, you two will have the option to stay together for the rest of your lives if you fall in love. Give her some stability so she can get through this mission.”

  Lewis was torn between two emotions. He couldn’t comprehend being taken in by the rebellion himself, so he overlooked the possibility of someone else. Especially someone as compliant as Freya.

  He nodded. “I understand, ma’am. Thank you for clarifying. I feel like I’m on the verge of getting through to her. She slept next to me last night, and we even cuddled. If that becomes habitual, it’s only a matter of time before everything else will fall into place.”

  Dr. Rhetta pursed her lips. “Very well, Lewis. Stay focused and take every opportunity you see fit. You must get off to your civil duty now, and report in every morning. I’ll be here, waiting.”

  He stood and exited the room, relieved to be free of her darting gaze. His gut churned with anxiety for the days to come. Gauging her mood based on the way Freya flinched when he tried to give her a simple, dispassionate kiss, he didn’t know how he could possibly seduce her.

  Chapter 17

  5 Weeks Later

  Lewis

  His stomach turned as he arrived at the clinic. Every morning he had to report to Dr. Rhetta. Every morning she reviewed their progress, or lack thereof. Every morning, every single word, action, inaction, it was all raked over the proverbial hot coals.

  This mission was important. He knew every moment was high stakes. His performance would make or break his career and all aspects of his life.

  He knew all of this beforehand, yet somehow, he could never comprehend the pressure he would be under right now. He had regularly fantasized about getting such a high-profile mission and was constantly disgruntled when his missions were relatively unimportant. He felt ignored and frustrated that no one could see his true potential. Now that he was on this mission, he questioned every moment if he was qualified.

  All of his brooding about recognition diminished as he stepped into this role. But now he saw this mission for what it truly was: Freya’s mission. This wasn’t a promotion. This wasn’t something he earned based on his own accolades. He was here because someone important responded positively to him. Nothing more than random luck.

  He entered Dr. Rhetta’s office and closed the door. Without glancing up at him from her tablet, she asked, “Were you able to seduce Freya last night?”

  Lewis took a seat in the chair opposing her. “No.” He folded his arms in front of him.

  She looked up from her tablet and pierced him with her small, cynical eyes. “That’s it? Usually you have some justification for me.”

  He was so exhausted by this process, a part of him was ready to accept a life of mediocrity. “You asked a simple question, and I gave a simple answer. I have nothing more to report. You already know that Freya has become comfortable with me. She doesn’t hide from me when she changes clothing. She curls up, wanting physical contact in her sleep.”

  “Yet with all of that progress, you don’t seem to have the spine to take the next step.”

  Lewis clenched his jaw and kept his gaze straightforward. “Freya is stubborn and hot-tempered. I think it has to be on her terms.”

  “And I think you’re wrong. Freya is weak, yet you keep putting her on a pedestal. Perhaps you respect her title as a State House worker, but I assure you, she didn’t get that position based on any emotional strengths she possesses. She may be highly compliant, but in many other ways she is average. Therefore, we are concerned the rebellion may sway her.”

  Lewis shook his head. “I just can’t see that happening. I can’t see her getting pulled in.”

  Dr. Rhetta pursed her lips. “And perhaps that is why you have spent much of your career training new recruits while I run the Department of Psychology.”

  Lewis swallowed the bile raising in this throat.

  I know I’m right.

  “I live with her where you only watch her Security footage. We spend most of our time together in the bedroom; I see what you don’t. I think I’m more effective as a friend and guide than as a lover. And how would being her lover ensure that she stay loyal to something she was already completely devoted to?”

  Her deep-set eyes never flickered away from him. “Lewis, I assure you, you are wrong. Once Ursa brings her into her inner circle, Freya will get confused. She may be compliant, but you can’t underestimate the destruction caused by a broken heart. Freya has a lot of misplaced rage looking for a target. Either she will channel those energies against the rebellion, or at the State for allowing Colin to leave this planet to begin with.”

  Lewis’ shoulders fell slightly as he looked away. Maybe she was right. Maybe Freya’s raw emotions could be turned against the State. If she were to learn that they took Colin against his will—as Lewis knew was true—maybe he could really lose Freya to the other side.

  “I hadn’t thought of that.” He nodded. “I will try pushing a little harder tonight.”

  “Yes, trying harder is exactly what I have been asking you to do.”

  Lewis didn’t respond to her further prodding. He stood from his seat and exited her office. He knew he needed to increase their romantic involvement immediately, he just didn’t know how to do so. As he worked throughout his day, his mind churned over his conversation wit
h Dr. Rhetta.

  Her tone was condescending every time they spoke, yet he felt there was a hint of a threat in their meeting today. He didn’t suppose she could extract them when Freya was performing so well, but he knew she had a lot of control over what would happen to him after this mission. Depending on how Dr. Rhetta filled out her report, he could be promoted, or they could deem him redundant and retire him immediately.

  When he returned to their apartment after completing his day of duty, Freya reported she had made a monumental leap forward. Ursa had invited her to meet in the common room, alone. Lewis pretended to have a headache for the cameras over their evening meal, and Freya offered to go to the common room to give him some peace.

  He lay alone in their bed, torn between conflicting emotions. Part of him was relieved to have an evening alone to ease some of the pressure from his shoulders. It wasn’t a far cry to claim he had a headache. He was grateful for the rest, yet it also irked him to be reminded of how unimportant he truly was in this mission.

  This mission was Freya’s, and he was there as a babysitter—no different from training new recruits, really. She did all the work, and he was the person she reported to. His job was to take care of her and guide her in her mission but also keep her grounded in their cause. He had thought of it before, but it was sinking in that he truly was selected only because Dr. Rhetta thought he could seduce her. A task he was failing.

  Regardless of the blow to his ego, he still recognized the stakes. He tried to run scenarios through his mind to prepare him for her return, but he knew it was useless. There was no way to predict Freya’s emotions or actions when she returned. If she felt elated at a taste of victory, it would be easy to seduce her then; she could easily transfer her excitement and additional energy onto him. A celebratory kiss would follow and give him an opportunity to advance their relationship.

  Before he realized much time had passed, Freya flung open the bedroom door in a whirlwind of emotions. Lewis jumped to his feet the second the bedroom door closed. “What happened?” His heart throbbed in his chest.

  “I can’t do this. We should leave.”

  As Freya lost control of her composure, Lewis pulled her body against his. This was exactly what he had feared. She would be too emotional for any type of seduction. It wasn’t the right time, yet he feared the repercussions of his meeting the following morning with Dr. Rhetta more.

  He urged her to share the details of her meeting and continually responded with encouraging words until her story ended and her emotions evened.

  “So, are you going to ask for an extraction?”

  “I’m sorry, Freya, but I can’t.”

  She turned her body away from his. “But I can’t do this. I didn’t learn anything.”

  As she continued sharing her self-doubts, he did his best to reassure her of how well she was doing and how much her actions of the evening validated her cover story. He said and did everything he could think of to comfort her, but he also realized that having to play the role of the person she reported to was also part of the issue of seducing her. She had asked for an extraction and he had to deny her. The moment that happened, she turned her body from his; the window of opportunity for the evening had closed.

  He decided if he couldn’t persuade her of her own competence, at least he could remind her whose side she should fight on. “This is just the beginning, Freya. The rebellion is going to tell you so many lies. It takes work, and it’s not easy, but you have to stay strong and keep a clear mind. This is why we had to study all the history. You have to remember what you are fighting for.”

  Freya stopped her protests and sat in a heap of raw emotion. It wasn’t ideal, but he could at least take the opportunity to touch her. He pulled her close and held her, rubbing her back and continually whispering positive affirmations.

  She looked up at him and locked her gaze on his. He could see so many conflicting emotions swirling in her mind, keeping her from speaking. He caressed her face and slowly worked his fingertips to her lips. She closed her eyes in response to his touch and he knew this may be the best opportunity he could have, despite her raw emotions.

  He leaned in and kissed her gently, then pulled back to see her response to their first kiss—a kiss that wasn’t for the benefit of Security footage. He pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes, but she closed the distance between them and kissed him again. Their kiss deepened and he let go of his inhibitions about her fragile psyche.

  This wasn’t just a requirement of his mission, he wanted her—he had wanted her from the first time she entered the firing range. He lost control of his mind and surrendered to the impulses of his body. He temporarily lost sight of the mission and acted on impulse.

  Freya never once pulled away from him or tensed at his touch. It appeared she wanted this as much as he did. His mind briefly flickered to the time she had said the Head of State informed her they could stay together as a couple in the long term. He knew it was nothing more than a distraction for Freya to help Lewis seduce her, but there was a part of him that hoped it was true.

  What if he could have everything? What if he could have the promotion and keep Freya at his side? The Head of State was always former military, and maybe this was his opportunity to aim that high. Freya was already living in the State House. Maybe someday, he could join her there.

  Chapter 18

  3 Months Later

  Lewis

  As the elevator carried him downwards, he worked to keep his hands from trembling. It was time for his morning debriefing with Dr. Rhetta, but today felt different. He had hardly slept the previous evening as he lay next to Freya, holding her in his arms.

  He entered the clinic and was immediately taken in to see Dr. Rhetta. She sat casually with her hands tucked together on top of the desk and her lips pulled into her best impression of a smile upon seeing him.

  “Good morning, Lewis.”

  He shifted in his seat, trying his best to impersonate, trying to give the impression he was calm even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  Today would be different because normally he would sleep through the night instead of tossing and turning, questioning if he needed to report Freya’s activities as suspicious. “Good morning, Dr. Rhetta.”

  “Do you have anything to report?”

  Lewis hesitated, his voice cracking before he could even speak. “I’m having hesitations, ma’am.”

  “Oh? In what regards?”

  Lewis shook his head and struggled to find the words. “You said I had to seduce Freya, and I did, but I don’t think it’s enough. I need her to fall in love with me. And I’ve tried everything. I have. I’ve catered to her every emotion and been her shoulder to cry on. I’ve joked with her. I’ve made love to her several times. It’s just not enough.” He breathed out a sigh of frustration. “I don’t know how to make her love me.”

  There was a burning pain in his core as he was torn between these two worlds. If he protected Freya, he may get to spend his life with her. But he would betray his government. If he did his duty, he would lose her, and probably never again feel this way about a woman in his lifetime.

  Dr. Rhetta gazed at him as he spoke. Once he was finished, she made a strange hiccupping noise, a slight giggle. “Lewis, you cannot ever make a woman love you. That’s ridiculous.”

  A restless energy overtook him, and he stood from his seat. “Then how am I to succeed at this mission? I think I’m losing her. I think the rebellion is seducing her in a way that I couldn’t. I think her loyalties are shifting.”

  Dr. Rhetta nodded curtly and began. “Yes, it is entirely possible that her loyalties may come into question. What is it specifically that has given you this impression?”

  “I don’t have conclusive evidence, it’s just a hunch. I feel like when she reports to me, she is withholding information, possibly even lying.”

  Dr. Rhetta observed him long after he finished speaking. “Lewis, what are you most concerned about
? Is it losing Freya, or losing a potential promotion?”

  His head snapped in her direction.

  How dare she ask me this? I’m diligently doing my duty, yet I’m being treated like a petulant child.

  Lewis dropped his hands to his sides, clenching his fists under the table. “I don’t understand how you can ask me that. Of course, my answer will be both. I’m concerned that my partner is sabotaging our mission, and the rebellion seems to grow in numbers. But yes, I’m also concerned that this mission was the opportunity of a lifetime and I’ve failed.”

  Dr. Rhetta kept her beady little eyes locked on him, as though she could see right through him. “That is very honorable of you Lewis, but it is not what I meant. Is it her? You are hesitant in your accusations. Is it because you don’t have conclusive evidence? Or have you formed an attachment to her?”