Friends with Benefits

by Michelle Grotewohl

  “What?” she snapped, clearly so eager that she was getting annoyed with him for putting her off. Obviously trying for patience, she said, “I trust you.”

  Her words touched him, but didn’t allay all his fears. “What about pregnancy?”

  The annoyance cleared from her face. “Oh! God, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that was your hang up. It’s fine. I’m on the pill.”

  He didn’t think he’d ever heard sweeter words. “You are?” he asked, more than a little desperately.

  She nodded. “It’s always good to have backup.” Then she smiled softly. “Better now?”

  He nodded, too. “Much.” Then he pulled her close and took her mouth.

  He felt her hand on his erection, guiding him, and soon he was nestled against her heat. Wanting to watch her face as he entered her, he pulled back slightly, only inches but enough. Then he lifted his hips slowly, pressing up into her a little at a time as she lowered herself onto him. Her breath drew in on a long, shaky gasp, and Aaron knew exactly how she felt.

  Finally, he was buried to the hilt in her warmth, and they were both quaking slightly with the flesh-to-flesh contact.

  “I’ve never done this without a condom,” she said quietly, her eyes holding his in the dark.

  “Me, neither,” he admitted. “Though if I’d known it would feel like this I probably would have tried.”

  She chuckled, then kissed him softly as she started moving on him, rising onto her knees until he was nearly out of her before lowering herself back down. He let her set the pace, took the hands-free opportunity to knead her breasts and backside, used the angle to his advantage and pressed open-mouthed kisses to her jaw and throat.

  Though they’d been stunned at first into slowing, their earlier urgency quickly caught up to them, and soon she was pressed solidly down on him and rocking and circling her hips while he flexed his groin muscles to move inside her.

  Familiar by now with her sexual expressions, he knew the exact moment her orgasm began spiraling through her. She got this triumphant little smile on her lips that quickly morphed into brow-furrowed open-mouthed moaning just before she came. He saw the smile, felt his own victory claiming him, and knew they’d come together.

  Suddenly Gina arched into him, pressing his cock against her G-spot, triggering her orgasm and his. They moaned together at first, until his voice grew deeper on a satisfied growl, and hers rose on a peaking cry. Several seconds later, she collapsed onto him, her sweet-smelling hair clouding around them.

  A few minutes passed in companionable silence while their hearts thundered against each other. Though he’d never had a more forceful climax, likely from the lack of condom- a fact he was sure applied to her, as well- Aaron could only focus on one thing: She’d called his name.

  Never before had she said his name during lovemaking, not even when she came so hard he thought she’d shatter. To him, a woman calling his name during sex meant she was thinking about him on a subconscious level that implied he’d slipped past her emotional barriers. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, though.

  He wondered what it meant to her, if it meant the same thing, if she was even aware she’d done it, but he wasn’t about to bring it up to find out. If she didn’t realize it, it would be a secret he took to his grave. Probably better not to let her know it was a big deal for him, anyway. She’d likely run away screaming, thinking he was getting emotionally involved, which he was sure was something she would never do.

  Finally, she lifted her head and smiled down at him. “Wow.”

  He only nodded, understanding exactly.

  “You’re always good, but that without a condom thing is… unbelievable.”

  He nodded again, wholly in agreement. Then he said quietly, just in case she got any ideas, “That’ll have to be a one-time thing, though. I’m not one for tempting fate.”

  “Unfortunately, I agree with you.” Then she grinned. “Not that we’ve ever had a problem when we used one.”

  His smile grew, but didn’t turn into a grin. He was too distracted. “No. I think it’s safe to say we have enough chemistry to get by, no matter the circumstances.”

  She laughed quietly, then eased off him and fixed her dress. A few minutes later, they got out of the car and went into the building, each retiring wordlessly to their own apartment. Neither could think of anything that applied. ‘Good night’ was far too mild, ‘See you later’ too committal. So they left it, each more comfortable that way.

  After she shut and locked the door, Gina leaned back against it. On a distressed moan, she sank to the floor, shaking her head. What had she done?, she asked herself. Not only had she had sex with him without a condom, which showed absolute trust in him, she’d said his name. That had been, up until ten minutes ago, her biggest rule.

  Never say his name during sex, she reminded herself roughly, banging her head back against the door. That, to her, implied a subconscious thinking of him, which in turn had the disastrous potential to become something more, something deeper, something… emotional.

  She should end their acquaintance now, she knew, before it got any worse. She’d already broken more rules with and for him than she cared to recall. But she couldn’t bring herself to even think about not seeing him again, not having sex with him again.

  It was probably fine, she thought, forcing herself to her feet and into the shower. He didn’t seem to have noticed her slip-up, and even if he had, it probably didn’t mean to him what it did to her.

  Everything was fine. She could keep her friend and lover, and herself objective. She had to. The alternative- losing him- would hurt too much.

  Chapter Seven

  Weeks passed. They were together more and more, though neither seemed to notice. They gradually began eating dinner together, grabbed lunch once or twice a week, while discovering they had lots of things in common besides their matchmaking mothers, including similar tastes in video games, movies, and music.

  They frequently watched movies in Aaron’s apartment on his pay channels, and more than once she’d fallen asleep on his couch, where he would cover her with a blanket before kissing her softly. Then he would trudge to bed, wishing he could have stayed with her and getting no sleep because he knew she was in his home.

  Other nights they chose to spend their evening laughing as they raced and battled each other on Gina’s Wii. While he loved having her trust him enough to sleep on his couch, he enjoyed their game nights. The friendly smack-talk and playful wrestling inevitably ended in equally friendly and playful sex on her living room floor.

  He found it telling how differently they viewed their individual domains. His apartment was typically used for quiet nights when they just wanted to relax. Her apartment was almost always for playing and lovemaking. Granted, he had the movie channels, she had the game system, but that in itself was telling, as well. He was laid back, she was fun-loving.

  Between the two of them, they became very skilled at warding off their mothers when they called or saw them. A couple of times, they’d even been together in one of their beds when someone’s mom would call, wondering what was happening in their relationship. The answer would always be something noncommittal, downplaying any time they spent together. But when they hung up, they’d both laugh and curl into each other once more.

  It was nearly a month after their first excursion to the night club that Aaron had his revelation. He was at work, talking to Fisher near the copy machine about something Gina had done the night before while they’d made dinner together in his apartment.

  “I’m standing there, and she’s stirring this homemade spaghetti sauce that’s been in her family forever. Then she holds the spoon out so I can taste it, but when I move in, she pulls it away and smears it all over her mouth. Then she kisses me.”

  Aaron shook his head, missing the way Fisher did the same thing, for a totally different reason. His best friend, Fisher could see, was falling fast and hard. When Aaron continued talking, he tried his best to
focus and really listen.

  “She’s always doing stuff like that: surprising stuff that makes me want her, or makes me laugh at the oddest moments.” He went introspective for a moment before continuing. “She’s funny, really funny. And beautiful, you’ve seen how beautiful. And we’re great together, in bed. If it weren’t for the fact that neither of us is looking for any kind of relationship, I’d marry her just so no one else could have her. She’s amazing,” Aaron finished quietly, not realizing the emotions that showed in his eyes.

  Fisher regarded him for a moment, not sure how to say what he was about to say. He tried a joking approach. “Whoa, man! If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were in love.”

  Aaron’s eyes quickly jumped up to his, coming sharply into focus. “What? No way.”

  A little more gently this time, not sure how to make his friend see what was so obvious to him, he said, “Are you sure? Listen to yourself. You just talked about marrying the chick.”

  Aaron scoffed mildly. “Not seriously. Come on. How well you know me?” he asked with his arms lifted.

  Fisher gave him a half-smile, laughing quietly. “I guess…”

  Without thinking, Aaron reached down and rubbed his right hip, then lifted his shirt slightly so he could examine the area. It was red and raw-looking, with darker red spots where the blood had risen to the surface but not broken through.

  Fisher frowned. “What’s that from?”

  Aaron thought about it for a second, then grinned, so there was no mistaking his meaning when he said, “Rug burn.”

  Finally seeing a glimpse of his old friend, Fisher grinned. “Dude, you’re an animal.”

  But it was on the way home, when Aaron was thinking about Gina and how they were supposed to go out tonight, that his revelation hit him. He found himself smiling, singing along with the radio, anticipating their night out. But not because he wanted to see what kind of women the club would offer that night, or even because he wanted to dance and have a good time. He was excited because he was going with Gina. He would get to see one of her many scant dresses, feel her body brush against his as they danced, hear her laugh, make love to her later.

  He realized then that though they’d been going out together for weeks now, they hadn’t so much as talked to another person while at the club in nearly half that. They’d been content to just be with each other, and let their friends with benefits status ride, unconcerned with keeping up the appearance of simply being each other’s wingman.

  Suddenly, Aaron was angry. Not at her, but at himself. For in all this time, while she was merely being his friend and lover and making no noise about anything deeper whatsoever, he’d been falling in love with her. How was it that he, the man, was the needy one, suddenly wanting the relationship that they’d been pretending to have, while she seemed only too happy to have sex with him without letting any kind of emotion get in the way of her pleasure?

  “Dammit!” he cursed quietly, pulling into his parking bay.

  The solution hit him then, what he had to do, to keep from being that person. To keep from being the one hurting when she walked away. He would have to walk first. She wouldn’t care, would likely be relieved that she was free of him, and he could get away with his heart mostly intact. Because he refused to be the weak one in their relationship.

  Stomping around the house and into the building, he slammed up the stairs and knocked on her door. She answered in her pajamas with a bright smile she reserved only for him. It shined light into all the dark places inside him at the moment, which angered him further. Mentally, he pulled down all the shades in his mind, so she couldn’t get through.

  Her words were light and friendly when she spoke. “Sorry I’m not ready yet. I thought we were meeting at six tonight. But if you give me five minutes-”

  He interrupted her. “No. Don’t get dressed. I just wanted to tell you that I can’t go out tonight. I’ve got work.”

  Her smile fell, then lifted again understandingly. “Oh. Okay. Maybe tomorrow, then.”

  He made a noncommittal sound. “Yeah, maybe.” Then he went home. Less than an hour later, he heard her leave, and figured she was going out without him.

  He blew her off Saturday, then again on Sunday. Every day for a week, whenever he saw her, he would give her a barely-there nod or smile and keep moving. At first when she called him he rushed her off the phone, then didn’t bother to answer at all. He was certain he was doing the right thing for both of them. But by the following Friday, he was in so much emotional pain he could barely think straight.

  He wanted to knock on her door and demand she feel for him what he was feeling for her. He wanted to laugh and play with her again. He wanted to feel her body warm and wet around his while she called his name.

  Agitated, incited, he walked through his apartment, intending to do all those things. Just as his hand reached for the knob, he heard her door open across the hall. He held his breath, wondering if she’d had the same idea as he, and he waited for the knock on his door.

  But it never came. He heard her lock her door, turn and hesitate, then go down the stairs, check her mail. He heard the outer door downstairs open. In a hurry, Aaron rushed to the side window in his living room and looked out. She was walking quickly to her car, wearing a cute little blue skirt suit that he just knew would make her eyes pop. It hit him suddenly, with a breath-stealing force and a terrible assuredness, that she was going on a date.

  In a few hours, she would likely come home with some guy in tow, go into her apartment, and make love to him, while Aaron waited across the hall like some idiot for her to come over and confess her love. He couldn’t do it, he decided. He would have to leave, or risk killing the guy she brought home.

  A few minutes later, he left, too, heading for Fisher’s.

  Gina blinked open her eyes on Saturday morning, then swiftly closed them again. Her head ached fiercely, the result of gulping several too many glasses of champagne the night before. Risking movement, she lifted her head and scanned the bed beside her, then listened carefully for movement in her apartment. She breathed a sigh of relief that she’d come home alone. One-night-stand’s were one thing, nameless drunken sex was entirely another.

  She closed her eyes, fully prepared to sleep away her hangover, when her phone rang, the sound so loud it nearly blasted her head from her shoulders. She slammed a pillow over her ear, burying the other one in the bed, and groped blindly for the phone, simply to shut it up. But after glancing at the display, she groaned and answered.

  “Hi, mom,” she whispered, hoping her mother would take her cue and whisper, as well.

  She didn’t. “Why are you whispering?” Cynthia asked, then gasped and began whispering, too. “Oh, is Aaron over? Is he asleep?”

  Gina ignored the pang in her stomach at the mention of his name. Her mom sounded entirely too giddy about the notion. “No, mom. I’m alone. Just hungover.”

  When she spoke again, Cynthia’s voice was at normal volume. She clearly had no sympathy for her daughter’s state. “Other than that, how’s it going?”

  “Fine. I had a good time at Heidi’s bachelorette party last night.”

  “Clearly,” her mother said dryly. Then she asked, as if it had just popped into her head, “What about Aaron?”

  The pain stabbed through Gina’s heart this time. “What about him?”

  “How’s it going with you two?”

  For the first time since Dolores and Cynthia had thrown them together, Gina answered honestly. She needed to talk to someone, and her mom was the logical choice. “I don’t know.”

  Cynthia sounded just as confused as Gina felt. “Why not?”

  “Well, we were fine up until a few days ago. Going to dinner, going to clubs to find dates-” Which admittedly hadn’t happened for weeks- “but now he won’t talk to me. Hasn’t in days. I don’t know what I did wrong.” She was sure she’d been the perfect friend and lover, keeping an appropriate emotional distance despite the turmoil inside
her, and Aaron’s sudden, unexplained rejection had hurt worse than she’d thought possible.

  “You asking yourself that question tells me that you care about him,” Cynthia said softly.

  Gina downplayed what was probably very evident in her voice. “Of course I do. He’s become my best friend.”

  Her mother was quiet for a moment. Slowly, she asked, “Honey, do you love him?”

  Gina’s immediate inclination had been to say no. But she didn’t want to lie to her mother. Did she love Aaron?, she asked herself. All the signs were there.

  But no, her instinctive reaction was likely the right one. “No. He was just my best friend, and now he’s gone.” She sounded upset even to herself. Not crying, but completely baffled.

  Her mother didn’t correct her, or push her for a different answer. All she said was, “Hmm…,” then let the matter drop and changed the subject. Gina was glad for the distraction, and let her.

  When they hung up ten minutes later, Cynthia told herself Gina sounded better. Not good, but better. It was the only thing stopping her from going over to Gina’s and comforting her, or kicking that bastard Aaron in the balls for hurting her daughter. That, and the fact that Dolores was her dearest friend.

  It was that which prompted Cynthia to call her friend to get her take on things. She hadn’t planned on shouting when Dolores answered the phone, but she’d done it anyway. “He dumped her,” she said loudly, without greeting her.

  Dolores was completely confused. “What?”

  “I just talked to Gina, and she said they haven’t spoken in days. Said he just stopped talking to her for no reason.”

  It was clear to Dolores that Cynthia was very upset by this news, as Gina must have been, and Dolores herself was. Without needing any further explanation, she said, “I’ll call him.”

  “What’s the deal?” Dolores asked her son only a few minutes later.