Starting Over

by Sheri S. Levy

  I sent her a text. “Have fun! Good luck tomorrow. Call when you can.” I turned up the volume on my phone and put it in my pocket.

  Chapter 38

  By Saturday evening, my insides grew numb with worry. Morgan had to have completed Dressage and Cross Country, but she hadn’t called. I told myself I’d hear about her performance when she returned home. Sunday afternoon, I rolled to the barn, only to find Heather riding Chancy. Colt and I sat in the shade of a brilliant tomato-red maple tree to watch.

  Envious, I inspected Chancy’s movements and realized she had improved with her daily workouts and seemed happy. Seeing them together gave me a chill that I wasn’t the one out there on her back.

  Colton and I visited with all the horses in their paddocks. I broke tradition and brought an afternoon treat; one dog biscuit for each horse. I needed to feel their affection.

  There was a board laying on the sand inside the stadium. All the horses were either in their paddocks or in the barn. I rolled to the spot and pulled out Colton’s treats. I had watched enough You Tube videos to know how to begin. I unleashed Colt, turned my chair sideways, looked and pointed my hand over the board. “Touch.” He tapped the board and got a piece of apple. Then I said, “Walk.” He took a step, I clicked, and he received another piece. His ears perked, his eyes blinked and widened. He understood what I wanted him to do and took three steps.

  “Yes!” I clicked, and we repeated this all the way to the end. As I wheeled my chair the other direction, Colt walked the entire board. I leaned over sideways and hugged him before I gave him a handful of tiny apple pieces.

  He panted with pride, as he heeled next to my chair, all the way into the barn. I rolled into the tack room and put myself to work cleaning leathers.

  I dropped my polishing rag and told Colt, “Get It.”

  He looked at the cloth, and back at me, squinting.

  He lifted the corner of the material.

  “Yes!”

  That was a start. He raced around, shaking the cloth like he was instinctively killing an animal.

  I patted my lap. “Bring.”

  He crinkled his eyes, thinking.

  I patted my lap again. “Bring.”

  He stood in front of me, and chewed on the rag. I patted my knee, “Drop.” He took a couple of seconds to process the word before recognition set in. As he dropped the soggy cloth on my lap and I patted his head and smiled. “Yes.”

  I worked longer, continued to drop objects, and commanded, “Get It.”

  During our training session, a loud, rumbling diesel engine approached. My heart galloped as I rushed to the open area. There it was. The gray truck and its beautiful trailer. Seeing them drive up reminded me of the day when Morgan first arrived—but this time, her dad helped and Morgan spoke to him in a loving tone.

  They worked together.

  Morgan glanced over at me, gave me a half-hearted smile, and called, “Hi, Trina. Finally back home. That was a long trip.”

  Knight backed off the trailer like a pro and pranced into his stall.

  As they passed me, I told Morgan. “Hurry and get Knight settled in his stall. I’ll visit with him while you unload. I can’t wait to hear all about your trip.”

  Morgan looked to her father. “Dad, this is Trina.”

  He stopped what he was doing, walked over, and shook my hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you while we were in Florida. So nice to finally meet you.” He glanced at my chair, “I was sorry to hear about your injury. How are you doing?” His eyes shined as he smiled.

  “I’m surviving.” I grinned back. “It’s great to meet you, too. Did you have a good trip?”

  He looked at Morgan, examining her expression. “I think so. Have a few things to work out, but overall it was a wonderful trip.” He looked over at me and exhaled. “We can’t really stay long. I’m going out of town tomorrow and must get back to repack.”

  Morgan and I glanced at each other. Her shoulders slumped. “I’ll call you as soon as I get home.”

  “Okay, that’ll work.” I wiggled my pointy finger at myself. She leaned closer, and I whispered in her ear. “I’m dying to hear. Promise to call?”

  She pulled back, “I do.” She gave me a look of—what? Regret? Resignation? It wasn’t exactly excited or happy.

  I squinted. “All right. Tell me what I can do so you can get home.” I smiled and hissed. “You better call.”

  Morgan shared a teeny smile and gave me a short list of things I would be able to manage with Colton’s help.

  “Yep, I can do all those things. Head on out. I’ve got it under control.”

  Morgan filled Knight’s bucket with fresh water and added a flake of hay.

  I hung her leathers over my arm, and her supply bucket on the arm of my wheelchair and rolled into the tack room. “Bye!”

  Cleaning leathers relaxed my brain. I rubbed the oil back and forth, and watched the leather shine. With the radio on, I hummed to the country music and sang the lyrics I had memorized. Colton had passed out in his stall, which left me free of worries. Instead I thought back to the agility videos and daydreamed.

  My phone chirped in my pocket and I pulled it out. A new message from Chase.

  I texted, “Morgan’s home. Talk tonight.”

  Mrs. Brown drove the golf cart into the barn and started scooping dinners. I pushed myself out of the tack room. “Oh my, Trina. I didn’t know you were here. This is a nice surprise. How did Morgan’s trip go?”

  I shrugged. “We didn’t have time to chat. Her dad couldn’t stay. I could help you pour dinners in their buckets. I can maneuver one bucket at a time.”

  “Super, duper! I’ll get finished faster. Did Morgan seem in good spirits?”

  “I’m not really sure.” I wrinkled my nose. “I’d say it wasn’t what I expected.”

  Colton heard the food clinking or smelled the aroma. He woke up and whined. All the horses were in their stall, so I let him walk around. He saw Mrs. B and nudged her with his nose. She found a treat in her pocket, bent down face to face, and handed him the goodie.

  “See you later, Mrs. B. Need to get home before it gets any darker. Let’s go, Mr. Colt.”

  Before I headed out the door, Mrs. B called. “Trina, let me know what’s going on with Morgan, when you hear.”

  “I will. I only hope I don’t have to wait too long. I hate the not knowing.”

  Chapter 39

  I attacked the last bits of homework but hoped Morgan would find time to check my writing assignment before I had to turn it in. She was proving to be an excellent editor. Sighing, I stretched out on the recliner to read a new edition of Discovery Teen magazine. I wanted to read, “How to Be True to Yourself.” I scanned the pictures on each page, read their captions, and then returned to the article. After reading one paragraph, the sound of neighing blared from my phone.

  My back straightened, adrenaline surged through my veins. I grabbed my phone and hit the green button. “Hey, it’s you!”

  There was a pause, and then Morgan giggled. “It’s me all right. What are you doing?”

  “Not much. I’m kind of like a prisoner in this body. All I can do is read, wait for dinner, and hope to hear from you.” I waited for her to comment. But I only caught her rapid breathing in my ear. “Okay, Morgan, enough suspense. Are you going to tell me about your trip, or are we ignoring you’ve been gone?”

  She laughed. “Dad actually offered to bring me back to the barn to check on Knight. He knows I need to talk with you. Can you go to the barn after dinner?”

  “Morgan, come over for dinner. If you like Mexican, we’re having tacos and beans. It’s too hard to roll over there in the dark. And I bet my Dad would drive you home.”

  “Hold on. Let me ask. Dad’s packing for his business trip.” In seconds, Morgan came to the phone, panting. “He said that would
be fine. See you in twenty.”

  I got myself into the kitchen and mentioned I had invited Morgan for dinner.

  Mom smiled. “Okay. I’ll cook more ground beef, and you need to do extra shredded cheese, chopped tomatoes, and lettuce.”

  Mom laid the package of cheese and the vegetables on the table. I put the chopping board across my lap and wheeled myself to the table. As I finished slicing and shredding, Mom scooped the items into bowls. We finished up just as Morgan’s dad dropped her off.

  After dinner, Morgan and I went into the guest bedroom and closed the door. The only place to sit was on the bed. Colton leaped up, I stretched out, and Morgan sat crossed-legged at the end. We stared at each other.

  “Okay. I’m waiting.”

  She sighed. “I’m—I’m trying to think where to begin.”

  “Start with driving from the barn and heading down the road. I’m all ears.”

  Morgan tucked a pillow under my ankle, and I slid back into another pillow. “All right. I’m skipping the long boring drive. It was exciting arriving at my grandparents’ house and getting Knight settled. That was Wednesday night, and Gram had a special dinner prepared and an awesome cake. We sat at the table and talked.”

  She paused and her face beamed. “At home we never have family dinners. Dad even told some funny jokes. After dinner, my grandparents walked out to the barn with me. Knight seemed relaxed. When we went back into the house, Mother and Dad had gone to bed. Gram made hot chocolate, and we stayed up talking. I told her about Knight, and how I had to learn everything to do for him. And that you showed me how to be his friend.”

  “Wow!” A warm, fuzzy feeling made me grin. “That’s nice. Did she want to know why?”

  She made a quirky face. “Dad had already told them about me running away. And why we came down to do this horse show.”

  “Oh, that’s good.”

  Morgan’s hands trembled and she took short quick breaths. She uncrossed her legs and stood. Her expression tightened.

  My eyebrows lifted. “Isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it turned out to be good.” Morgan paced the room. “Want me to do your hair like mine? It’s called a Two-Strand Twist. It’ll give me something to do while I’m telling you all this.”

  “I’d love that.” Another clue. She was hurting.

  Morgan reached inside her purse and grabbed clips and a comb. “I guess I need you at the side of the bed or back in your chair.”

  “I’d probably be more comfortable in the chair.”

  She helped me move.

  I smiled up at her. “Would you please put the pillow under my ankle? Oh, that feels better. Thanks.”

  At the bottom of my neck, she pulled down a small section of hair, separated the hair into two thin locks like you do for braids, and crossed one on top of the other. As she worked her breathing slowed, and she restarted her story. “Mother showed her true self, and my Grands decided to be there for me. Dad was, too.”

  I frowned. “Oh, Morgan. What happened?” I fidgeted in the chair, twisted my shoulders back and forth.

  “Hold still. This is going to take a while.” And then Morgan spilled everything.

  “Saturday morning, I warmed up with Knight. We were brilliant and ready for dressage. There were ten riders and I was number four. Knight and I practiced halting and me saluting, stopping trot and walking, all the things you videoed. We clicked. It was so awesome, Trina.”

  “Oh, I’m so glad. So—?”

  “My name was called. I squared my shoulders and entered the ring, halted in the right spot, and did my salute. My elbows stayed straight and lined up. I didn’t make one mistake. But—” Morgan started to cry and dropped my braid.

  I slouched closer to her. “What in the world?”

  “Oh, Trina. It was so stupid. I was so excited about how we were clicking, I forgot to drop my whip at the fence before we entered. I got disqualified.”

  A loud gasp flew from my mouth. “What?”

  Her face sagged. “It’s against the rules to test with a dressage whip in your hand. You can practice with it, warm up with it, but you must drop it outside the ring when you test.”

  I let out my worried breath. “So, did you still do cross country and stadium?”

  “Yes.” She huffed and finished the braid in progress. “But I couldn’t place. I was disqualified. Do you want to hear the worst part?”

  “Okay.”

  “I won the dressage test. My score was the highest I’ve ever had. But the whole weekend I couldn’t compete.”

  “Oh. My. Gawd! That had to be so maddening. But, Morgan you should have been so proud of what you accomplished. You performed perfectly. Right? Didn’t someone point that out to you?”

  “Nope. That’s what you would have said if you had been there. But you weren’t and…”

  Morgan started laughing, kind-of-a-fake-laugh. “I tried to feel that way. Of course, Mother had a stroke. She had taken the time off to come and watch. And I screwed up! You know that’s not allowed. She didn’t want to watch me do cross country because there was no reason when I couldn’t win. And she had reports to do.”

  Morgan was on a roll now, braiding faster, so I didn’t say anything.

  “Dad was furious at Mother. I heard later from Gram, he had made Mother stay. Gram now knew why I was so upset before we came. She understands I’m not causing trouble but trying to hide from it.”

  I blurted out. “Sounds like you have everyone else on your side.”

  “Yep. But it sure hurts that my mother can never be there for me. She didn’t watch stadium. She had a migraine. Anyway, I survived. I had a perfect cross country with only one penalty for being one second late. On Sunday, I was in first place standing, but not in the competition. I had to do stadium first, since I was disqualified. But for the first time, I had a clear course. We didn’t knock one fence, and I raced to the end on time. Trina, I would have won with my scores. It made me realize Knight and I are a great team. It was a thrill and such a disappointment.”

  “But you have to see how good you did. You made a silly mistake, and I bet you’ll never do that again.”

  “I sure hope not. Anyway, Gram and Gramps want me to come and stay with them when I’m on Christmas vacation. Dad’s been supper nice and supportive. I think we’re starting counseling next week.” Morgan moaned, drawing out each word. “That should be fun.”

  Trying to be encouraging, I spoke in a higher pitch. “Well, maybe it’ll help.”

  Morgan kept her eyes low, and inhaled. “Dad said to call when I was ready to come home. It’s nice he understands and let me come talk with you.”

  “There’s no need to call your dad. Remember, mine offered to drive you home, and Colton and I will go with you. When you finish my hair.” I giggled until my eyes filled.

  Morgan stopped braiding. “This must be funny for you to get all choked-up. I need to hear something funny.”

  “It’s nothing. Just a silly memory with Sarah from our beach trip.”

  “Come on, Trina. It’s your turn to tell me a story.”

  I bent my head and a gush of silly laughter poured out. “Sarah noticed I hadn’t shaved my legs.”

  Morgan leaned over my shoulder. “Really?”

  “Yep, I’m a little slow on some things, but I’m catching up.” I giggled again. “After dinner we snuck into the bathroom. Sarah handed me a new pink razor and showed me how to shave. We laughed every time I nicked myself. Mom stood at the door, asking what we were doing. I blurted, ‘Sarah’s fixing my hair.’ So, after we covered my cuts with band aids, Sarah had to do my hair in a French braid.”

  Morgan cackled, and I shushed her.

  Then Mom knocked on the door. “You guys okay in there?”

  In between laughs, I called out to her. “Yep. Morgan is giving me a new hair style. I�
�ll be out in a few minutes, and you can see my new do.” I snorted and spoke softer. “We’re doing the same thing, Morgan. This is too funny.”

  When Morgan quieted, she finished my hair and handed me a hand mirror.

  I admired my new look. “Wow! How long will this last?”

  “It depends on your hair. Since yours is softer than mine, yours may come undone easier. But, I bet it will last a couple days.”

  She squatted to my head level with her phone. “Okay, selfie. Smile.”

  After taking a couple selfies, Morgan and I modeled our hairdo together before Dad drove her home.

  For the first time, I saw where Morgan lived. Her gorgeous brick house with a manicured front yard didn’t look very inviting. All the windows had closed blinds or curtains. No flower pots on the front porch. No autumn wreath on the door. A rock path lead to the solid brown wooden door with no side windows. I turned to Morgan. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow at the barn?”

  “Yes, and Mother plans to pick me up. She’s apologized and wants to make it up to me. Who knows what that could be? Or if she’ll even remember tomorrow.”

  Before Morgan opened the car door, she grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Thanks for having me for dinner. And, thanks for being my friend.”

  I squeezed her hand back.

  Chapter 40

  Monday morning, Mom drove Sarah and me to school. Sarah couldn’t stop touching the braids.

  “I can’t wait to show them off.” I touched them, too. “They are so different.”

  I started to open my door and moaned. “Ugh, there’s Wesley. Why hasn’t he given up on helping me?”

  Mom frowned and used her soft, drawn-out voice. “Well, bless his heart. Trina, he’s just trying to be nice. That’s very sweet. Why don’t you invite him over after school one day?”

  I looked at her as if she’d lost her mind, and shook my head. “Nope. This is more than enough. Come on, Sarah. We’re going to be late.”

  Wesley barged over and retrieved my crutches. Then, once I stood up, he handed them to me. He took my book bag from Sarah without saying a word.