Breaking Down

by Megan Lowe

  “I made breakfast,” he says.

  “Good, I like a man who can cook.”

  “Enough to marry one?”

  I chuckle. “Nah, I don’t mind doing it.”

  “Well, I made this for you anyway.” He hands me a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Over the top he’s written “Will you marry me?” in tomato sauce.

  I chuckle and lean over to kiss him quickly. “Love the breakfast, but the answer is still no.”

  “That’s okay,” he says, taking a seat next to me, “I’ve got plenty more tricks up my sleeve.” We both dig into our breakfast for a bit before he breaks the silence. “So how are things going with the shelter?”

  I sigh. “We’re not really making any headway. We’ve found a property that would be perfect, it’s not that far from Mav’s actually, but we can’t do anything without funding.”

  “You haven’t had any interest from sponsors?”

  “Some,” I say, “but nowhere near the level we’re going to need to get things up and running.” It sucks arse, to be honest. I want to get this off the ground so badly. There are so many abandoned pets who turn up to the existing shelters, and unfortunately, they can’t save them all. I know this shelter can make a difference, if only we got up and running. But nowadays, money is tight for a lot of people, and they don’t have a lot to give, no matter how bad they may want to.

  What kills me even more is the fact that if I chose to, I could have access to the money we need. I offered to go to my parents and ask, but Lisa wouldn’t let me. She said the only way she would accept their money was if they grew hearts and treated me like I deserved. I wanted to tell her not to be stupid, that this was a way to get the money we needed, but I didn’t. She had my back, and that was worth more than the shelter. Although we both really want it.

  “I could reach out to some of my old sponsors,” Jax offers. “I have to anyway, seeing as I have nothing, so what’s a little more?”

  I shake my head. “I appreciate it, but you need sponsors for the Extreme Games. If you go in asking for too much, you won’t get anything. Does this mean you’re going out on your own?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “I thought about it. I mean really, it’s my only option. Even if I could convince someone to ignore Pop’s order, their rosters are probably already full. But more than that, I don’t think I want to ride for someone else anymore. I want to be the one in control, so—” Just then his phone rings. “Hello?” he answers. He has a worried look on his face. “Yeah, hi. Look, I was going to call you—” he says before he’s cut off. “Oh. Um, yeah, okay.” The expression on his face has gone from worried to surprised. “Yeah, of course I could.” He looks to me. “And, ah, if it’s all right, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you as well.” He smiles his smug, I’m a BMX god extraordinaire smile, and I feel a rush of moisture dampen my panties. Don’t tell him that, or Lord knows I’ll never hear the end of it. “Yep, sounds good,” he says. “I’ll see you then.” He hangs up.

  “What was that all about?” I ask.

  “I think I may have found a solution to our problems.”

  Chapter 30

  Jax

  “What?” she asks. “How?”

  “That was the app developer, you know, for Jax Tracks?” She nods. “Well, they heard I split from Dean. I thought they were going to be pissed because they put all this time and effort into the game and then I pulled the plug, but get this, they were glad I did.”

  “What?”

  “They said they hated Dean and didn’t really want to work with him, that they really wanted me.”

  “So Dean was a necessary evil,” she says.

  “I guess. Anyway, they were trying to come up with options to get around him. Turns out, the agreement they signed was reliant on me staying with the DeanStars. If I didn’t, there was no deal.”

  “And now you’re free of him they’re coming to you?” Bentley asks.

  “Yep,” I say, leaning back in my chair.

  “And you think you can get them to sponsor the shelter?”

  “That, or donate some of the proceeds from the app to it. Brilliant, right?” She doesn’t have to say anything, I know it is. “So yeah, I’m meeting them for lunch today, want to come?”

  Paul and Scott are awesome. And as an added bonus, they love freestyle BMX.

  “That’s one of the reasons we were reluctant to work with Dean,” Paul says. “We could tell he didn’t love the sport, but we wanted to work with you.”

  “Yeah well, I wish I’d found that out sooner, but at the time I didn’t have many options,” I say.

  “What’s on the go for you now?” Scott asks.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe start my own team? Who knows?”

  “Really?” Paul asks.

  “I’m thinking about it. I do know I don’t want to ride for somebody who doesn’t really give a shit about me or what I do, so why not?”

  “Do you have any business knowledge?” Scott asks.

  “Not really.” For the first time, I realise how stupid this all sounds. “But I’m good with people, so I’m hoping that’s enough.”

  “Your family runs Ryan Racing,” Paul says. “They won’t help you?”

  “I’ve kind of broken away from them. That’s why I was with Dean in the first place,” I explain.

  “Well, business isn’t something you can get into on a whim,” Scott says. “That being said, if you get everything squared away, we’d love to be a part of it.”

  “Really?” I ask, surprised.

  “Absolutely,” Paul says. “We think you’re incredible, Jax. You’re an amazing athlete with a personality people just want to be around.”

  “Plus, freestyle BMX is a badarse sport,” Scott says, “but you will need some help. Get it, and we’d be more than happy to work with you.”

  “Wow,” I say.

  “In the meantime,” Paul says, getting back on track, “the game is coming along nicely. We’ve managed to get a lot of your moves from footage of your comps, but some of the newer stuff we’d love to see live.”

  “Yeah, definitely,” I say, nodding.

  From there the meeting goes on. We organise for them to come out to Tom’s compound so they can get some live footage, but what has my mind spinning the most is their talk of me having my own team. When I brought it up with Bentley, it was just a fleeting idea. After talking with Paul and Scott, I realise it could actually happen. But I am going to need some help and advice, so I dial a number to get that—and a bit more, hopefully.

  “Hello?” Reed says as he answers.

  “Papa-bro,” I say cheerfully, “what’s happening?” Reed and I are the most alike. While I’m closest to Mav, he’s all brooding and serious. Reed gets me; he used to be me. Or I used to be him. Either way, he understands where I’m coming from, so he gets to impart his knowledge to me. Plus, with his experience running our team, he’s a one-stop shop.

  “Not much,” he says. “The kids are napping, so I’m trying to get dinner ready.”

  “Oh good, so you’re not busy.” It’s so weird to think of Reed as a dad, doing homely things like laundry and cooking dinner. I’m so used to him being the wild one, the one who basically was the walking, talking definition of a manwhore. Until he met Bria, that is. That shit was funny as hell to watch, but I won’t deny it gave me hope that one day I would find my own game-changer and now I have.

  On the other end of the phone, Reed sighs. “No, Jax, I’m not busy.”

  “So how is everything going down there anyway?” I ask.

  “Good. Avery is doing well in kindy, and Chase is only waking a couple of times during the night, which is fucking excellent.”

  As much as my big bro likes being a dad, I know he also likes his sleep and time with his wife. Learned that lesson the hard way. Note to self, always knock when entering their house, and any room.

  “So our little princess is ruling another roost, huh?” I joke. Unti
l her birth, the Ryans had always had boys, so when she appeared, she took all of our hearts. She knows it too. The kid’s got all of us firmly wrapped around her little finger, but I don’t think we mind a bit.

  “Yeah, she is,” Reed chuckles. “The rest of the family are doing well too.”

  “Whatever,” I say. I know he’s referring to Pop, which I appreciate, but I don’t really care. Or I don’t want to care. He’s still my pop, but I can’t deny that what he’s doing and all the things he’s said have hurt me. “So that’s all great, but it’s not the reason I called,” I say.

  “No? You mean you didn’t call your brother, who recently had a baby, and who you just up and left in a tanty, just to check in?” he asks.

  “First off, your wife had a baby. You did your part, the fun part may I add, a year ago. Second of all, I didn’t leave you, again, you have a wife, a son, and a daughter, so quit acting like I left you high and dry.”

  “But you did leave in a tanty.”

  “Whatever. You would too if you were being treated like an invalid.”

  “You had some serious injuries, Jax,” he reminds me.

  “Serious, yes, but you guys were acting like I was a moment from death’s door. It was ridiculous.”

  “You know we just wanted to look after you.”

  “Look after me, or wrap me in cotton wool and keep me on the shelf?”

  Reed blows out a breath. “Look, I don’t agree with Pop’s decision to do that—”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “But,” he continues, “as a father myself I get where he’s coming from.”

  “Injuries are part and parcel of what we do, Reed, we all know it, we all accept it. Shit, how many times did you end up in hospital after run-ins with Hunter?” I ask.

  “A lot,” he admits. “But before it got too bad, I quit.”

  “No, Hunter forced you out,” I say.

  “Is that what you think?”

  “It’s what happened, isn’t it?”

  “I guess you could see it that way, but I didn’t quit because of Hunter. I quit because racing wasn’t what I thought it was. I didn’t want to be associated with any organisation that let Hunter Davis, or any other guy in his position, continue to play with guys’ lives like that.”

  “Yeah well, I still want to ride. There is no more danger for me than there is for any other guy out there.”

  “What if you get another concussion?” he asks.

  “What happens if World War III starts tomorrow and the USA, Russia, and North Korea decide to nuke the shit out of us?” I ask.

  He sighs.

  “I love riding, Reed, and I’m not done.”

  “So you want me to ask Pop to take you back?” he asks.

  “No,” I say. “I split with Dean the other day, and I think I’m going to go it on my own.”

  “You mean start your own team?” His voice is thick with disbelief.

  “Why not? You guys won’t have me, and anyone who does is too scared to piss off Pop, so striking out on my own makes the most sense don’t you think?”

  “It’s not that easy. You need money, sponsors—”

  “I have sponsors.”

  “You need more than brands willing to give you clothes and shoes,” he says.

  “I have that. There’s a company up here, they make mobile game app things. They’re making one based on me, and they said if I get things up and running that they’d be in.”

  “Really?” Reed asks, surprised.

  “Why are you so surprised? I’m awesome, of course people want to work with me.”

  “I know that,” he says. “I guess I’m just surprised you’ve gotten this far.”

  “They love the sport and want to be more involved,” I say, “and I’m the best so it’s only natural they’d want to be involved with me.”

  “There is that.”

  “But they want me to get some advice on how to do, well, everything.”

  “And so you called me.” I can hear the pride in his voice.

  “Who else was I going to call?” I ask.

  “Hey, do you want my advice or not?”

  “Just keeping your ego in check,” I tell him.

  “My ego? What about your ego?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with having a little confidence.”

  “A little. That’s like saying Bria only likes the Saints a little bit.”

  I chuckle. If there’s one thing my sister-in-law loves, besides her family, it’s her footy team.

  “Okay, point taken.”

  “You really think you can do this? Run your own team?” Reed asks.

  “Only one way to find out. It wouldn’t be too big, probably just me, but you know how the comps like you to be ‘representing’ someone.”

  “Mmm,” he agrees. “So what would it be called?”

  “Get this,” I say, “Jax Tracks. The game that’s being developed is called the same thing.”

  “I like it. The cross-promotion is good.”

  “You sound like sis,” I tell him.

  “What can I say, my wife is rubbing off on me.”

  “Hey, what you two crazy cats do in your spare time is your own business.”

  This time Reed full-on laughs.

  “Hey,” I say, “how did you ask her to marry you?”

  “I said ‘will you marry me?’”

  “Just like that?”

  “Well,” he says, “I did do the romantic thing, you know, take her somewhere special, get down on one knee, all that jazz.”

  “So that’s what they like then?” I ask.

  “I don’t know. I guess it depends on the girl. Why? Are you thinking of proposing to Bentley?”

  “Already have,” I mumble.

  “What was that? I didn’t catch it,” Reed says.

  I sigh. “I already have proposed to her.”

  “And?”

  “And she said no.”

  “What?” he asks. “Why?”

  “I don’t know, some shit about not wanting to belong to me and then there was all the fuss over how I asked her.”

  “How’d you ask her?”

  “I didn’t, I just slipped the ring on while she was sleeping. It’s a good one too!”

  “Jax,” he says, a touch of exasperation in his voice.

  “What?” I ask.

  “You can’t just tell her you’re marrying her. Fuck, if I did that to Bria, she’d say no. Women like to be wooed, to be made to feel special.”

  “Wooed?” I ask.

  “Yes, wooed,” he says. “We’re not the easiest of guys to love, and the women who will ultimately put up with our shit are worth their weight in fucking gold, platinum, diamonds, and anything else of value, as far as I’m concerned.”

  I think about what he’s saying, as well as everything I’ve put Bentley through, as well as what she’s done for me. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right, I’m the only one of us who’s married, aren’t I?” I chuckle. “So you really think she’s the one?”

  “I know she is,” I tell him. “She’s incredible, and for some reason she puts up with my crazy arse.”

  “Well that right there is reason enough for you to marry her,” Reed says.

  “Ha ha, very funny, fucker.” Reed chuckles, and I smile as I continue, “Nah, for real, she’s everything to me, and I want to give her everything. It just kills me I can’t.”

  “What does she want that you can’t give her?”

  “An animal shelter,” I say, sighing. I spoke to Paul and Scott about them sponsoring the shelter too, but they didn’t think they could swing it. Not if they were sponsoring me. “I offered to ask some of my sponsors,” I tell my brother, “but she wouldn’t let me.”

  “Hmm,” Reed says.

  “And then the game guys said they couldn’t do it and invest in me, and she won’t let me go to either of our parents.”

  “Her parents have money?”

>   “Yeah, they own a diamond mine in Western Australia.”

  “You know Pop would—”

  “No,” I say, cutting him off. “If he doesn’t want me to be a part of the team, then I’m not going to him for money. He doesn’t get to have things both ways. Either I’m a part of the organisation or I’m not.”

  Reed sighs. “Yeah, okay.”

  “So now we’ve got that settled, how the fuck do I put together a team?”

  An hour and a whole heap of business mumbo jumbo later, I think I’ve got a vague, very vague, idea of what I’m doing.

  “It’s not going to be easy,” Reed warns.

  I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “I know. It’s not something I ever thought of doing or ever wanted to do, but….”

  “Yeah,” he agrees, filling in what I can’t voice. “But give Frank a call, he’ll be able to set you up with a good business manager. Hell, for all I know he could probably run the damn team for you.”

  I chuckle. “Yeah, he’s magical like that.” A silence falls between us. “You know,” I say, breaking it, “my whole life I just wanted to be Jax Ryan, Ryan Racing rider. I never thought there’d come a time when I wasn’t.”

  “I know what you mean,” he says, and I know he’s thinking about his own career, “but sometimes breaking away from all this leads to even greater things.” I hear Avery’s cute babble.

  “Still hurts like hell,” I tell him.

  “I know, but sometimes it’s worth it,” he says as Avery’s voice gets louder. “Anyway, it looks like the princess is up.”

  “Go,” I tell him.

  “You may not be a part of the team anymore,” he says, “but you’re still a member of this family. That’s one thing that will never change.”

  “Yep,” I say, my voice thick. “Give my love to everyone.”

  “Will do. Take care, Jax.”

  “Yep, bye.” I end the call.

  Family, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

  Chapter 31

  Nate (Pop)

  “Just had an interesting conversation with Jax,” Reed says as he plops Chase down in a high chair while our little princess scrambles into my lap.