Breaking Down

by Megan Lowe

  “Oh?” I ask.

  “Yeah, he wanted advice on how to start his own team.”

  “His own team?” I repeat.

  “Yep. Looks like he split from that douchebag Dean. He doesn’t think he has any other options, so he wants to start his own. I reckon he’s got a pretty good chance of getting it off the ground too.”

  “Well, good on him,” I say.

  “Really?” Reed asks sceptically.

  “Of course. I always want my sons to be successful in whatever they choose to do.”

  “You just don’t want him to do it with us, with our family’s team, with him riding under our name, the only team he’s ever wanted to ride for?”

  I shake my head. “I can’t be responsible for what happens when he rides,” I say. “I won’t lose him.” I miss my son like crazy, but I cannot and will not be the one responsible if he’s injured again. Yes, I know he’s a hell of a rider, even after this latest injury, but underneath all that, he’s still my son. It’s always going to be my first instinct to protect him and any member of my family. If destroying their dreams is the way I keep them safe, then so be it.

  Although he wasn’t really safe, was he? He was riding for that shyster Toms. I was there in Cairns; I saw them argue. Jax doesn’t do a good job at hiding his emotions, and even though I was a ways back, I know when my son has had enough. Made me proud as hell to see Jax stand up to him. Maybe there is some sense in that boy’s head after all….

  “Lose Jax? We’ve never been able to lose Jax. Remember the time we were driving to Bendigo and we left him at the servo? He was still there, half an hour later, when we drove back, just casually chatting to the road train drivers. Or the time we went into the city and he got lost in the laneways? Managed to get back to the hotel just fine.”

  I chuckle, indeed remembering those incidents.

  “If there’s one thing I know about Jax, it’s that he’ll always find his way back to us,” Reed says. “He tried proposing to Bentley too,” he says, laughing.

  My head turns so fast in his direction, it’s a wonder I don’t crick my neck. “What did she say?” I ask, anxious.

  Reed laughs again. “She said no.”

  “No?” I ask.

  “Yep.”

  “Why?”

  “He said she was going on about not wanting to belong to him but I think it had more to do with the way he asked.”

  “And how was that?”

  “He didn’t. Just slipped the ring on her finger while she was sleeping.”

  I shake my head. “That boy.”

  “He really loves her, Pop, and I know she loves him as well.”

  “You don’t think the age difference is too much?”

  “It doesn’t seem to bother them, why should it matter to us?”

  “I don’t know, it just seems like she’s too old to want to fit in with a crowd, to adapt to our lifestyle.”

  “Really? Because her tattoos and piercings stand out so much with us,” he says, motioning to the ink on his own skin.

  “Fair point.”

  “She may not be who you pictured for him, but she’s who he wants. From what Mav and Aubrey say, she’s fiercely protective of him too. That can’t be a bad thing.”

  “Another set of eyes can’t hurt,” I concede.

  “Just what is it that you’re so afraid of with him?” Reed asks.

  I sigh. “He’s the last connection I have to your mother,” I admit. “All of you are grown now and starting families of your own, and well, I guess I’m having a bit of trouble letting go.”

  Reed’s smile softens. “You know we’re all still your boys.”

  “I know that, it’s just we have s-h-i-t-t-y luck,” I say, spelling it out for Avery’s benefit. “I don’t know if I can take any more. And with Jax, it’s almost like he’s tempting fate. He never got the mothering the rest of you did, so I guess I’m trying to make up for it now.”

  “He’s twenty years old,” Reed reminds me. “The last thing he wants is mothering. Some fatherly advice, however….”

  I nod. “You’re right.”

  “What was that? I couldn’t hear you,” he says. Behind Avery’s back, I flip him the finger. He laughs. “Do you want to fix things?” he asks.

  “I don’t know if they can be fixed.”

  “Like I said, Jax will always find his way back home, we just have to give him a bit of a nudge.”

  “And you know how to nudge him?” I ask, hopeful.

  “I think I might have a way.”

  Chapter 32

  Bentley

  If I thought the phone call I received a while ago was unexpected, the details of it fucking blew my mind. Never mind what they would do for Jax.

  Naturally, I was all in.

  Chapter 33

  Jax

  For the past few weeks, Bentley’s been acting strangely. I thought it may have been because I keep asking her to marry me, like every few hours, but she just laughs it off and says no. I’m not taking it personally. I know sooner or later she’ll cave. My preference would be for sooner, so we can get down to the engaged people sex, but I’m going to let her come to her own conclusions—which will be her married to me. I am working on a secret plan, however, just in case. All will be revealed, but first, a trip to Melbourne is on the cards. Apparently, there’s a sponsor down there for the shelter. Bentley wants me to go with her, presumably for the charm offensive I provide. Did I mention my girl is smart? ’Cause she is. Like, really smart. Although she hasn’t accepted my proposal yet, so I guess everything in moderation, huh?

  “Want to join the Mile High Club again?” I whisper in her ear as we prepare to take off.

  She looks around nervously in case anyone heard me. “We’re on a commercial flight, Jax.”

  “So? The bathrooms lock.”

  “No.”

  “Is that like a no, no? Or a no I won’t marry you but we both know sooner or later you’re going to cave, no?” I ask.

  She glares at me. “That’s a no, no.”

  “That’s it? You’re not even going to think about it?”

  “What’s there to think about? We’re on a commercial flight, and it’s full, so no, I will not be having sex with you in a tiny airplane toilet.”

  “Fine,” I say, slumping in my seat.

  “Hey,” she says as she snuggles into my side, “you know I love you, right?” I nod. “So we’re all good. Besides, our first time was so good I don’t think this would in any way compare.”

  “Whatever.” I sulk.

  “Dude.” Just quietly, I love that she calls me that. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

  “Really?” I ask.

  She nods. “Really.”

  “Marry me.”

  “Anything but that.”

  “Seriously? I’ve asked you about a hundred times!”

  “Eh, I’d say more like one hundred and fifty, two hundred times but who’s counting?” She has a cheeky smile on her face.

  “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I accuse.

  “Am I enjoying being with you? Yes, I am, very much.” She presses a kiss to my neck.

  “Whatever,” I grump again. Bentley just laughs.

  “I love you, Jax Andrew Ryan, and I am going to be with you forever. No piece of paper or a shiny ring is going to change that.”

  I know in my heart, that in her heart, that’s enough for her, but for me, I want that piece of paper. I want her to wear my ring. I want everyone on this planet to know I have found the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with. And yeah, it might be all kinds of selfish and chauvinistic, but damn it, don’t I deserve something for myself just once?

  “I do have to admit though,” she says as she pulls out a chain from underneath her top, “this ring does make a pretty pendant.” The ring, my ring, is threaded on the necklace.

  “You’re wearing it?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “I know it’s not how you’d like me to
wear it, but it is close to my heart this way.”

  I flash her my confident, panty-dropping smile. “You’re caving, aren’t you?”

  “What? No! I just thought – ”

  “You’re caving,” I say, cutting her off. “You may think you’re doing me a favour, but deep down you want to wear it, you just don’t want me to think I’ve worn you down. I mean it’s cool and everything, and I don’t care how you end up wearing it, but I am getting to you,” I say.

  “No, that’s not—”

  “Shh,” I say, putting a finger to her lips. “Save your energy for something else, like the awesome engaged sex we’re going to have once I finally get that ring on your finger.”

  “What have I done?” She groans as she shakes her head.

  Not wanting to push her too far, I grab her hand, thread my fingers through hers, and kiss the back of it. “Thank you,” I tell her. She smiles a brilliant smile. The ring may not be where I want it, but for now, it’s enough where it is.

  When we get out of the airport, Reed is waiting for us.

  “What the fuck?” I ask, when I spot him.

  “Good to see you too, little brother,” he says as he smacks me on the back of the head, then embraces Bentley.

  “I thought we were meeting a sponsor for the shelter?” I ask her.

  “If you don’t get a move on, you won’t be,” Reed says, taking Bentley’s bag and heading for the car park.

  “What’s going on?” I ask her, grabbing her arm as she goes to follow Reed.

  “It’ll all become clear tonight,” she says.

  “What’s tonight?”

  “Tonight is when everything will become clear.”

  “You think that’s funny?” I ask, pissed.

  She chuckles. “Yeah, I do.”

  “Just tell me what’s going on,” I plead.

  She cups my face. “Do you trust me?” I nod. “Then don’t stop now, okay? Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

  She gives me a quick peck on the lips. “Yes. Now come on, we’re going to be late if we don’t hurry.” With that, she twists our arms so she’s grabbing me as well, and drags me after Reed.

  When we pull up, Bria is in a panic. When we left the airport and started heading east, it didn’t take a genius to figure out we were heading home, to Booker. I’m buggered if I could figure out why we were here though.

  “You guys are late,” she says.

  “Sorry, angel,” Reed says as he kisses his wife, “but Jax wouldn’t do as he was told.”

  “I told you to factor that in when you were planning all this,” she says.

  He shrugs. “I thought sis over there had tamed him, how was I supposed to know he’s untameable?”

  “Er, hello,” I say, waving, “standing right here, you know.”

  “Oh please,” Reed says, “like we haven’t said worse about you while you’ve been in earshot.”

  “True,” I say, shrugging.

  “Anyway,” Bria says, interrupting our brotherly bonding, “Bentley, you can use Reed’s and my en-suite. It’s off our bedroom, which is down the hall.”

  “Thanks,” she says, rushing off.

  “Is anyone going to tell me what the fuck is happening?” I ask.

  “Nope,” Bria says, thrusting a garment bag at me, “just be a good boy and put this on.” She turns and shoves me in the direction of Liam’s old room.

  I get in there and unzip the bag. “What the fuck?” I say as I find my tux. Knowing there’s no way I’m going to get answers if I come out not wearing it, I sigh and put it on.

  I go out into the living room and find Reed similarly dressed.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?” I ask, adjusting my tie. The damn thing feels like it’s choking me.

  “You’ll find out in about half an hour,” he says. “That is, if the girls get a move on.”

  “Sorry,” Bria says, coming out from the bedroom. “I had to help Bentley with her hair.”

  As Bria says her name, she too comes hurrying down the corridor. She’s wearing a slinky black dress that drops to the floor and dips low in the front.

  “I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever gotten ready for something like this,” she says.

  “You look beautiful,” I say, and reach out for her.

  She looks up at the sound of my voice. “Oh fuck me.” Her eyes travel up and down my body.

  “Yeah, that’ll definitely be happening,” I say, “but it’ll have to be later. My big bro’s head is about to explode.” I offer her my arm.

  “Right, yes,” she says, taking it. I look behind her to find her dress dips down at the back as well, resting just above her butt.

  “Ahem,” Reed says, getting my attention.

  “Oh please,” I say, “I saw you checking sis out before too.”

  “Whatever, we’ve got to go.” He herds us towards the door.

  “What are we doing here?” I ask, when Reed pulls up at the hotel where the Rocking Racers gala is traditionally held.

  “What do you think?” Bria asks.

  “Seriously?” I groan. “I’m not even part of the team anymore, so why am I here?”

  “Because I want you here,” Bentley says, squeezing my hand. “Now put on your most charming smile and show me off.”

  “Am I allowed to do that? I wouldn’t want you to feel like cattle I’m just using as arm candy.” She punches me in the stomach. I think she pulled back slightly, but it still hurts like a son of a bitch.

  “Do you really want to piss me off?” she asks.

  “No ma’am.”

  “Then do as you’re told.”

  “Yes ma’am,” I say.

  Truthfully, Bentley’s the only thing that could get me into that ballroom. The last time I was here I was a seven-time Extreme Games champion. Now, I don’t even know if I’ll be competing again.

  Bentley and I smile for the cameras and I give the reporters the usual line, “We’re happy to be here, supporting a great cause.”

  “Who is the charity this year?” I ask Bentley as we enter the ballroom. Every year Booker’s racing community gathers together, along with a few other celebrities, to raise money for a charity. Every year it’s different, but I have no idea who it is this year. We’ve just been seated when a voice comes over the sound system.

  “What is Pop doing up there?” I ask Reed.

  “Just listen and see,” he says.

  “I’d like to thank you all for being here tonight,” Pop says. “This year we’ve done things a bit differently, so I want to thank you for supporting a cause you don’t know. It truly means the world that you’re all here anyway.” He takes a breath and waits for the applause to die down. “My youngest son has had a bit of a tough time this year,” he says, looking straight at me. “I haven’t helped with that, but I’m hoping I might be able to now. You see, Jax, has a very lovely lady in his life, a woman I am happy to say will soon be my daughter-in-law.” He winks at me. Beside me, Bentley groans.

  I turn to Reed. “Did you do this?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “This is all him. I just told him what was going on, or not going on,” he says, nodding to the ring hanging from Bentley’s neck.

  “Oh,” I say, and sit back to hear the rest of what Pop has to say.

  “Together they are hoping to build an animal shelter on the Gold Coast. We’re all aware that thousands of unwanted animals are dumped at such shelters each year, many of them over capacity and struggling to cope. This shelter aims to ease some of that pressure. And it’s why we’re here tonight. All funds tonight are going towards the Jax Tracks Animal shelter. So, on behalf of Jax and Bentley, as well as Ryan Racing, who will be their major sponsor, I want to say thank you once again.”

  I sit there, stunned. “What just happened?” I ask Bentley.

  “That was your pop trying to make things right,” she says.

  Suddenly ang
er swells inside me. “And he thinks he can do that by buying us the shelter?”

  “Just hear what he has to say,” she insists.

  “Jax, can we talk?” Pop says as he approaches the table.

  “Yeah.” I get up. “We can talk.”

  He leads me to a small meeting room away from the ballroom and the gathered press.

  “If you think you can make everything better by bribing me with this, you’re wrong,” I say, turning on him and crossing my arms across my chest.

  “That’s not what I’m trying to do,” Pop says.

  “No?” I ask. “What are you trying to do then?”

  He sighs and rubs his hand over his face. “I fucked up, okay? I was so terrified of losing you that I ended up pushing you away. You have to know that’s the last thing I ever wanted.”

  “Could’ve fooled me,” I say, bitterness coating my words.

  Pop’s head drops. “I know. I’ve been a shitty father, and for that I’m truly sorry.”

  “You took away almost everything I loved,” I tell him.

  “In my defence, I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  “So what changed?” I ask.

  “Reed told me about your girl,” he says, “about how she won’t marry you.”

  “Yeah, so?” I have no fucking idea what this has got to do with anything.

  “I’ve never seen you serious about anything other than riding.”

  “Well, now you have.”

  He nods. “Yes, I have. It seems I was wrong about her.”

  “Do you want me to say ‘I told you so?’” I ask.

  “I don’t care what you say, I deserve anything that comes out of your mouth.”

  “Just get to the point, Pop.”

  “The point is, she gave you something outside of riding. Before she came along, you rode with so much focus. Sometimes I think almost too much. I was so afraid one day you would hurt yourself and not be able to come back. Then where would you be?”

  “If this is true,” I say, “why did you question me about her?”

  “Because I wanted to be the person who put you back together again.”

  “What?” I ask. “I don’t understand.”

  Pop sighs and pulls out a chair to sit on. “I always felt that with you, because your ma died when you were so young, you never got the love and attention a woman can give. I’ve always wanted to be the one to do that, so you wouldn’t miss out.”