The Search for Ulyssa

by Heidi J. Leavitt

  Best to get this over with quickly, Dina advised.

  “I just brought something by for Bren. Is he here?” Kendra said, trying to be friendly but businesslike.

  Mikal ignored her question. “So Bren says he won’t even ask you to come with us tonight. What’s the problem, pale girl? Think you are too good for us?”

  Bren’s going out with Mikal again? she groaned. Why? It never turns out well!

  At least he’s not trying to drag you along, Dina said.

  “I already have plans, Mikal. Sorry,” Kendra said, trying to be as pleasant as possible. “Is Bren here?”

  “What about you, Miss My-father-is-the-Ambassador-so-I-pretend-I’m-a-Citizen? Too good to go out with us also?” Mikal drawled. Tiran just frowned at him.

  “She’s going to be with me,” Kendra said, still keeping her cool. “Is Bren here?” She wasn’t going to let Mikal get under her skin. Though her hands did tighten into fists.

  “No, he said he had to run downstairs for something. What do you have for him? You can leave it with me.”

  “Thanks for offering, but I’ll just wait for him,” Kendra said, her smile getting brittle.

  “You can’t just stand here in my doorway. I need to get ready. What’s the problem? You don’t trust me?”

  “No,” Tiran muttered under her breath.

  Mikal suddenly snatched the card from Kendra’s hands, turning it around and looking at the fancy scrollwork.

  Now what? Kendra asked anxiously. There is no way in all fourteen planets and their moons that I am leaving the invitation with Mikal!

  Just ask for it back, Dina said reasonably. But be firm.

  “Mikal, give it back, please. It’s from security, and I need to give it directly to Bren.”

  “An invitation to the inaugural ball?” Mikal said, his eyes narrowing. “You invited Bren? You do know you are wasting your time, right? He’s betrothed.”

  That sidetracked Kendra for a moment. “Betrothed? He never said . . .”

  Tiran darted forward and plucked the card from Mikal’s hands. “Honestly, Mikal. You are an embarrassment to all of Corizen. Don’t you have any manners at all?”

  Kendra was still mentally stumbling over “betrothed” and missed the flash in Mikal’s eyes that would have warned her what was coming.

  “Why, you casteless little freak,” he growled, stepping right up to Tiran. Tiran backed away until she was up against the door of the room across the hall. She looked frightened but still defiant. Kendra tried to jump between them just as the door behind Tiran opened, and Tiran lost her balance, tumbling backward right into the surprised arms of Hugo.

  Hugo looked down at Tiran and then thrust her forward, as if he had been contaminated by her very touch. She rammed into Kendra, and both girls tumbled to the ground. Kendra shook her head slightly, trying to clear the ringing from Tiran’s head colliding with her own, and then looked up at both the young men looming over them. Hugo was looking at them with his lip curled in disgust, while Mikal’s look was hungrier, as if he were a jackal that had spotted wounded prey.

  Dina? Kendra’s heart was hammering.

  The light globe above us. It’s already pulsing. Just make sure you close your eyes, Dina instructed. There was no argument this time about staying inconspicuous. Kendra glanced at Tiran, who had turned backward, searching for help down the hallway, and then focused until she could feel the energy the way that Dina had shown her. And then together they pushed it toward the light globe. It flared violently, blindingly, before bursting with a pop, shattering glass all over the group.

  Tiran screamed, and Kendra grabbed her hand, pulling her cousin to her feet and dragging her back down the hallway. Hugo was cursing behind them, and Mikal was shouting something, but Kendra couldn’t understand it. She didn’t even look back until they reached the lift doors, which slid open. Once they were in the lift and the ground floor was selected, Kendra turned back to stare at her handiwork. Hugo had already disappeared, presumably back into his dorm room. The hall was dark where the globe had exploded, and there was a tall figure gesticulating and shouting as he shook his shirt.

  “He must be cursing in Denicorizen,” she said as the lift doors slid shut.

  “Yeah, don’t ask me to translate,” Tiran replied breathlessly. “What in the name of the blue planet happened back there?”

  “The hall globe exploded. Our good luck, I think,” Kendra hedged. “Mikal looked ready to attack.”

  Tiran bent double and breathed deeply. “Yeah, well, psycho priest man didn’t help. What’s his problem? I didn’t mean to fall into him. He didn’t need to shove me to the floor.”

  “Hugo has issues. He probably was worried that you’d get marks on his white robes.”

  Tiran snorted. She stretched out her arms, noting the small nicks in her skin from the slivers of shattered globe.

  “No more trips to visit Bren,” she said emphatically. “Next time you can corner him in the common room. I’m not going anywhere near his psychotic roommate again.”

  “It’s not Bren’s fault,” Kendra defended as the lift door slid open.

  “What’s not my fault?”

  Bren was standing in front of them, waiting for the lift.

  The girls sighed in relief, stepping out into the foyer.

  “What happened to you?” he asked, his voice horrified. His eyes were fixed on Kendra’s cheek. Raising a hand, she touched a wet trickle on her skin. She looked down and realized that, like Tiran, she had at least a dozen small pricks from the flying glass. Droplets of blood were welling up on her arms.

  “We had a bit of an incident at your room with Mikal. Then the globe above us broke, but we’re fine—right, Tiran?” Kendra explained hastily. Bren’s mouth tightened.

  “If Mikal laid a hand on either of you I’ll . . .”

  “No! Really, he was just his normal obnoxious self.” Kendra didn’t want Bren rushing up to confront Mikal. Mikal was not in the best of moods right now. Best if he had some time to cool down so he didn’t take it out on Bren.

  Not that Bren couldn’t handle himself, she amended loyally.

  Maybe. Dina was dubious. If he didn’t trip and accidentally brain himself first.

  I think he’s just having trouble getting used to his own size.

  Bren was studying her face. “It doesn’t seem like you’re fine.”

  “Well, she left out the part about that snobby Hugo shoving both of us to the ground,” muttered Tiran, looking at her scratched hands. “My mom better not see us like this, or she’ll be on the warpath.”

  “Hugo did what?” Bren’s frown deepened.

  “It’s nothing,” Kendra insisted. “But we better head home to clean up. Tiran’s right, we don’t want her mom to see us like this.”

  Tiran looked at her watch. “We’ve got a little time before she’ll probably be home. If we hurry.”

  “Here.” Kendra thrust the invitation at Bren. He stared at it, turning it over in his hands.

  “It’s your invitation for the ball. You’re all cleared with security.” Kendra smiled again, a little of her former excitement returning. “Tomorrow in the library we’ll make some plans, OK?”

  A slow smile softened Bren’s face. “Tomorrow, then.”

  It wasn’t until they were halfway back to the Ambassador House that Kendra remembered Mikal’s offhand comment about Bren being betrothed.

  12. Chemistry

  Kendra waited until they were alone in a study room in the library the next day before leaning forward and whispering, “So Mikal says you’re betrothed.” Bren stiffened and he didn’t look up from the paper he was writing.

  “Is it true?” she asked curiously. “Or did Mikal get something lost in translation?”

  Bren didn’t answer. He just kept writing, though his ears were turning pink an
d he started tapping nervously on the table with his free hand.

  “Bren?” she asked.

  He still wouldn’t meet her eyes. That pretty much confirmed it.

  “It’s true,” she gasped.

  Finally, he looked up, his cheeks as pink as his ears.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He just shrugged and then looked back down at his paper. Why was he so embarrassed by it? It was a bit shocking—Bren was barely older than she was, and betrothal sounded so formal, but Kendra didn’t expect that they did things on other planets just like on Zenith. Maybe it was a political alliance, some family that the planetary governor found it advantageous to connect himself to.

  “What’s her name?” Kendra asked casually, hoping that Bren couldn’t tell just how much this news unsettled her. Part of her was offended that they had seemed to become so close—talking about everything and everyone during all their free time together—but he had hidden something that was so important in his life.

  Granted, she had never told him about Dina. But that was different. Not even Tiran knew about Dina.

  Bren still wasn’t answering.

  “Come on, Bren,” Kendra wheedled. “You can’t expect me to learn something about you like that and not die by small slices from curiosity. This is a major part of your life we’re talking about!”

  Bren sighed. “Her name is Natali Vaccaro. She’s the only child of a major landowner on Camria whose mother sits on the Union Colonization Committee. My father hopes that by tying ourselves to the Vaccaros, he can win more influence for Krati with the Union.”

  A political connection, like Kendra thought. What a duty to stick on Bren’s shoulders. Still, if Krati was able to gain full member status, there would be huge changes in political autonomy. It would be good for the Kratian people to have a real voice in their own future.

  “Natali,” Kendra said thoughtfully, stamping down a strange spike of jealousy. “It’s a pretty name. Is she pretty? Do you like her?”

  Bren coughed. “She’s twelve,” he explained awkwardly.

  “Ah.” Kendra closed her open mouth, struggling to find a response that didn’t sound horrified. Bren was betrothed to a child? Sure, customs differ, but this . . .

  “We aren’t supposed to marry until she’s a legal adult,” Bren hastily explained. “But on Camria, parents can formally betroth their minor children at any time. It’s considered a legally binding contract, with penalties attached for dissolving it. So my father has all the benefits of connection now, without having to wait for the actual wedding.”

  Kendra’s chest tightened.

  “So it’s like you’re already married,” she said slowly. That was even more unexpected. And awkward. And unsettling. Somehow, hanging out with Bren in the library and the common rooms and in the game hall seemed shameful now.

  Why? asked Dina, her confusion rippling through Kendra’s head. Nothing’s changed at all. You’ve learned your friend has a fiancée that he’ll marry years from now, long after you’ve both finished university and gone back home. How does that affect your friendship?

  Kendra couldn’t put it into words even for Dina. Something about the whole situation now felt wrong. Like she’d been dating a man for months only to find out that her boyfriend was actually married to someone else.

  You’re not dating Bren, and Bren isn’t married. Kendra, you’re making no sense, Dina complained.

  “It’s not like I’m married!” Bren said heatedly, unknowingly echoing Dina. “It’s just a promise that someday I will marry her.”

  “You just said there are penalties for dissolving it,” Kendra reminded. “That it is a legally binding contract.”

  “Well, yeah. But I don’t think of myself as having a wife on tap, or even a fiancée. I’ve only met her once, and she was still a little girl,” Bren said. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you’d understand.”

  That stopped Kendra cold, and her rebuttal died on her lips unsaid. She bit her lip, trying to force her roiling emotions to calm.

  “I’m sorry if I’m not being understanding,” she said contritely. “I’m not judging you, I promise.”

  Bren groaned. “I don’t think you’re judging me.” He threw up his hands. “You’re bending over backward to act supportive.” He abruptly pushed back his chair and stood, starting to pace in the tiny study room.

  Why is he upset that I’m being supportive?

  You’re not feeling supportive, you’re fighting a huge wave of betrayal, noted Dina. You two are at cross-purposes here, but I’m in the dark. I don’t understand it either.

  Kendra stood, deciding that maybe she should just leave Bren to himself, since obviously bringing up this topic had been a major mistake. He could calm down and she could . . . sort out whatever about this situation was making her feel slightly sick.

  A mental snort from Dina.

  “Bren,” she began, wondering how to best take her leave without giving him the idea that she was running away.

  You are running away.

  She ignored Dina.

  Bren looked over and saw her edging toward the door. He paused and took two steps toward her, looming above. She had to crane her neck to look up at him. He reached out a hand and placed two fingers gently on her cheek. Kendra’s skin burned at his touch. She stood frozen, her eyes locked with his. His dark eyes dropped down to her lips and then back up to her eyes. Kendra swallowed, her pulse racing and her hands trembling. Then Bren ducked down and touched his lips to hers, hesitantly at first, and then hungrily as Kendra responded instinctively, the fire spreading from where their lips touched across her face and down the length of her whole body. He pulled her closer, and she locked her arms around his neck, all rational thought having fled.

  The kiss lasted until Kendra found she needed to breathe and she broke away, gasping. Bren still stared at her, his intense eyes devouring her face.

  Oh, Dina said weakly.

  Bren started to lean closer again when Kendra jolted back to reality. Bren was betrothed. Practically married. This was so, so wrong. She untangled her hands from his neck and practically leaped backward, her hand fumbling for the door knob.

  “I’m sorry,” she choked. Bren reached one hand out toward her.

  “Kendra, wait!”

  But she pushed open the door and fled before he could say anything else.

  ♦

  That night when Tiran came looking for her, Kendra was face down on her bed, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to come.

  “Here you are!” her cousin said from the doorway. “I thought we were going to walk home from the library together. I was worried!”

  Kendra took a deep breath and raised her face from her pillow.

  “Sorry. I . . . had to leave early.” Her voice sounded reasonably steady, she thought. Hopefully Tiran wouldn’t guess what had happened. Uncharacteristically, Dina didn’t make any comments about Kendra’s feeble attempt to act like everything was fine.

  Tiran frowned. “Are you all right, Kendra?”

  She drew in a deep breath. “Yes, I’m just tired. Maybe I’m coming down with something.”

  Tiran looked unconvinced, but she didn’t press the issue. “OK, then. I think dinner is nearly on the table. Are you feeling up to eating?”

  The thought of food made Kendra’s stomach lurch. “No, not really. Just tell Aunt Andie that I’ll come down later if I get hungry.” Tiran nodded and then silently left Kendra to her misery.

  Kendra sat up and wrapped her arms around her bent legs, placing her chin on her knees.

  Well, this is another secret I don’t plan to share with Tiran. I can’t believe I kissed Bren. That was awful.

  Dina finally spoke. Er. I don’t think it felt awful. To either of us. Overwhelming, but not awful.

 
Of course it didn’t feel awful! But now I’ve ruined everything, Kendra moaned.

  Dina was just puzzled. Ruined what? You kissed Travin and it didn’t ruin anything.

  Of course not! I was only fourteen, and I haven’t seen him since.

  Dina was still bewildered. Shall I tell you how many boys your mother kissed before your father? One kiss does not equal lifetime commitment.

  My mother kissed a lot of other boys? Kendra was distracted in spite of herself.

  Of course. Dina chuckled at Kendra’s horrified fascination. She kissed Zane Quintan a lot, for example. I don’t think she enjoyed it much, though.

  She kissed Zane Quintan?! Kendra exclaimed. Aunt Lilah’s Zane? That was just . . . astonishing. That had to be awkward. Maybe that was why their families so rarely got together with everyone at the same time.

  Zane wanted to marry your mother at one time. He’s obviously gotten over it. Again, like I said, one kiss does not mean anything nearly so life changing as you think.

  Depends on the kiss, Kendra disagreed. She remembered the heat rushing through her body, the desire to press closer and closer until there was no space left between them. Bren’s kiss had been scorching.

  Dina sighed blissfully. Since kissing can feel like that, I’m surprised you humans don’t spend more time doing it.

  That’s the problem. How do I go back to just being friends with Bren when we have that kind of chemistry?

  Dina’s amusement leaked through everywhere, making Kendra smile in spite of herself. She tried to shore her mental wall up again, the one that kept Dina’s consciousness separate from her own.

  Then don’t stay friends, Dina said practically. You’re nineteen, Kendra. Plenty old enough to have a boyfriend.

  But he has a fiancée! A contracted betrothal!

  So?

  You just want to experience more vicarious kissing.

  Yes. I’ve never felt anything like it before. Dina’s tone grew dreamy. It’s like tasting food, only more sublime because it affects your whole body.