I want everything of you

by Deborah Fasola

  He made me fall in love and now he's gone.

  Sketch sitting on the bed and fixed my friend in the eye.

  "Oh, alleluia! Finally you understand" she says to me.

  How did I become so blind and selfish?

  I wanted him to come back on his knees, to apologize, I wanted him to stop showing up around Caroline and I wanted him to ask me forgiveness for treating me shit after making love with me, but this is my turn, not the his.

  I have to fix things because he is the one hit by the events this time.

  He surprised me in the bathroom with his brother, after all, and although that evening was a shock for me too, for him it was a point less to the honor. Or maybe a hundred.

  In any case, now I do not even care who should have done what because I want it back with me.

  I want Jaxon.

  I dance with him, I want him to take care of my soul.

  Because I do not like the crap that we do or say, I do not love so many parts of us.

  I love all the rest of us.

  Absolutely all.

  I get up quickly and Wiley almost screams and claps his hands.

  "Go, my friend, yes, let me see it, even in a literal sense, if you can." Again, I mean. "

  I die laughing and as I go to my closet, I open it and take the dress we had chosen for tonight.

  A pair of trousers and a top that covers me only the breast and free the arms.

  I would have to put it with long sleeves applicable separately, so I take them but I do not wear them right away, I'll do it only if I manage to bring him on that stage, because if the dance has joined us, now maybe it can save us.

  And even if I know that he does not need that money any more - and unfortunately I also guess why - I want Jax to do it, that he wants to dance with me, for us, as before.

  I take a quick shower, I wear my clothes with a shirt over the top that already makes me shake and then swollen my hair to make them wild, as I should be, dancing with him.

  We do not even have the dancers who had to accompany us because they will not be prepared and we have not presented for pre-competition, and we have not tried enough, but I do not care about anything.

  If I convince him it will be just me and him and it is not that expected by the Street Dance competition, but basically who cares!

  "Wil, can you take me to his house?" I say a little later to my friend, who still looks at me enthusiastically. "Care said he's not here with her on campus, Matt has harassed you that is nothing, so he must be at home... or at the competition," I say and I'm angry.

  Would you do it? Would you dance without me?

  I do not ask anything else, just one last dance, after all.

  "Consider it done," she replies enthusiastically. "Let's go."

  I think it's not common luck to have a true friend you can always trust, and for this I now thank heaven.

  We go down the street and when we leave I know exactly what address to look in the navigator of the car of my friend, and twenty minutes later I am in front of Jax's house, with the heart beating furiously in the chest and a misha who does not belong to me, but that if nothing else allows me to walk comfortably inside pleasant sneakers.

  I go to play at his door and Wil is waiting for me on the street.

  I'm agitated but I already smell her.

  Sound again. And then again.

  But nobody answers me.

  I just push the front door and I notice that, like the last time I came here with him, it's open.

  I know you could also accuse me of housebreaking, but I can not avoid the risk and within.

  "Jaxon? Is there anybody...? Mr. Ward?" I almost grope but now I'm inside.

  I open the door behind me and so that no one answers, I dissolve inside the house that I find confusing but warm.

  “Jax? " I still call him but luinonc'è, and yet they walk towards the hall, at a certain point I find myself in front of a man sitting on a chair, with his hands raised and trembling.

  It must be his father.

  He has a good tack and keeps him fixed on dime, but I do not know if he really sees me.

  I go close to him without fear.

  "Mr. Ward" i say to him. "Is Jaxon here? Is he at home?" but he, without hair, full of wrinkles and silence, doesn't respond me.

  I crounch behind his sit and i try again.

  "Mr. Ward, can you hear me? Is your son at home?" isay, but he continues to not respond to me.

  I'm about to give up and now i know that Jaxon doesn't exagerate when he told me that it was like he was died yet.

  But he isn't dead.

  Lily is dead, i killed her...

  I fix that men and i say to me no, this is not true.

  I had an accident because iwas drank and this is my only fault.

  I didn't kill my sister because i didn't want to kill her for sure.

  Like Isaac didn't want to betray his wife but he has this situation in his father home also. And not to collapse became famous, powerful and asshole.

  So like Jax to not download his hate on me he sent me away.

  "Mr. Ward, now you listen to me well, you're not dead, okay, your wife's dead, but she's here, she's alive and she has a son who's still in this house for her, who stole and lied for her. He does not show it well, but he loves it, so now tell me where it is because I need to find it, if you care about his happiness help me, please... "this time I cry to his face.

  I'm a bad psychologist, I know, even though I fucked one of the best in the city.

  Mr. Ward blinks repeatedly and I wonder if he has caused some fatal crisis with my madness.

  I would kill him too, I would lose Jaxon forever and the blame would increase dramatically making me only hell accessible.

  But then he stops and I thank him from my heart, as I was about to get a panic attack.

  "He said that he went to the competition" and the miracle happen, i believe, because Jaxon's father talks with me show me that he has some moment of lucidity and he understandes, in spite of what the son says.

  "Oh God, he responds to me!" i take his hand and he, sbam! He put his eyes in mine and he smiles.

  "Get up that ass, Mr. Ward, and come with me to see your son dance. Because you are alive!"

  I try again, more mad than before and he, without say aword, stand up from his worn chair and, trembling and stumbling, comes near to me.

  He's just a hunchback, he smells terrible, but he's telling me I'm right and he wants to come with me.

  I can not believe my eyes.

  I take it by the hand and slowly glance at Wiley's car and she can not believe what she sees, though she knew little of Jax's family situation.

  We start with the car launched at full throttle because Jax will soon be dancing on stage that he would have to deal with me and I do not know who will do it, as Care still has the plaster and I'm in this car with my friend and her father.

  Maybe when he sees me he will kill me and hate me more than before and not necessarily in this order, but now I have done the damage and I have to go all the way, especially because Mr. Ward looks out the window this sunny day beautiful and smiles.

  I look at the clock, it is five o'clock in the afternoon and the competition starts at six and is on the other side of the city, but we can do it.

  Wiley is an ace behind the wheel and curves at the speed of lightning, just as he is bending and accelerating my heart, flying towards my last challenge.

  My ride to Jax, my gift for him.

  The request for forgiveness.

  The hope of our little one forever.

  .29.

  Jaxon

  I don't know why i'm here, either what i wish to get dancing alone, but i know that i need to do.

  It will be my way to say goodbye to Talia before go away.

  Bacause i know that i will go away.

  After threatening Isaac I was able to get a great little boy from him and I even made sure that he freed Talia in all respects.

&nb
sp; Now I can no longer stand with his breath on the neck: he assured me that he will guarantee a safe place with medical assistance for my father and that he will let me go.

  He informed Tally's parents that she was healed and finally, against all odds, after giving me the money- that if they increased with those of victory in this competition I would guarantee a happy life elsewhere- he told Diana everything, which of course will ask the divorce.

  These were intense but difficult days, those after our night on the beach.

  I made love with Koala knowing that this would be the first and last time, what I did not know, however, is how much she would have remained inside me.

  And how much I would miss her.

  In the skin, in the trousers, between the hands, on the tongue; her moans in my ears, her delicacy in the heart.

  I miss her so crazy but I do not want it anymore because it would be terribly wrong for her to be with the brother of the one who used it, wounded, ruined.

  But it's damn hard because I want her.

  I want everything of her.

  Isaac told me that they were in love and I do not want Tally to look at me and see him, although we look very little like him.

  He is also very sick, almost more than losing Talia than Diana, but I think that he deserves all the suffering, although at times I'm sorry almost think it.

  I am behind the stage of the open air theater, the one near the sea, where we will perform.

  The place chosen for the Street's Black Game has recreated a track in front of the audience that already sits on the sidelines, so that the Street Dance found its embodiment where it was born and this competition had a sense: on the street.

  There are very talented artists here tonight, all accompanied by a partner and a group while I am alone and soon it will be my turn.

  I put the bandana on my head and look at myself in the dressing room mirror when I hear a noise outside the door.

  "I'm registered and I tell you if you do not let me pass... I... I'll call the police!" oh God.

  I flee because I would recognize that voice between a thousand and Talia appears in front of me.

  And she is a fairtale. So beautiful to take my breath away, the reason and all the anger that maybe was hovering inside me yet.

  She wears the dress that we had chosen, but insted of with that top and applicable sleeves, she has a t-shirt very large that makes her beautiful anyway.

  More, of course. She is more beautiful than i remembered.

  Her hair are loose and full of gel to create and incredible wet effect.

  She is disussing with a bouncer but when she sees me she put her glance on me and she hits me in full.

  She sinks me.

  She pulls me up and makes hers.

  "She is with me. Talia Cohen and Jaxon Ward" when i say my surname, i ask myself why she has never associate with my brother surname but then i remember that he visits with our mother's surname and everything has a sense. A tribute of the cock, seen as it treats all of us that we are the only true legacy of love that mum left here on earth.

  The big big big man looks at the printed list that hatrale hands, frowns his thick eyebrows and then nods.

  "Yes, found, you can come in, little girl" the winking look and I would punch him in the nose.

  Because he's right, Talia is beautiful today and I've never seen her make up before.

  Only I do not explain why it's here.

  We step aside and do not stop looking at her.

  Bad.

  Well.

  Exiciting and hurt both.

  "What are you doing here?"

  "How do you mean what i'm doing? We should dance!"

  "How did you know that i was here? I didn't tell either to Matt..."

  "Soon it will be us" she mormoures entusiastic, relaxing, so different since some days ago.

  A shower of applause acclaims someone and i sigh uncertainly and uncertainly.

  I don't understand what the hell is heppened.

  "To me, not to us. You don't do anything here."

  "Jax, let me dance with you, please. I know that you hate what it was happened, but think about the rest of us" her words paralyzes me exactly like i was paralyzed that night on the bach afted she told me other words. With a different meaning but it hurts in the same way.

  "I can't... I..."

  "Hey, mate, you are Ward, don't you? The legent of Street... oh boy, look that they have already called your name on the stage" one of the too much guy that passed near us says to me.

  Talia's eyes light up and I notice that her chest gets up and down with difficulty, as if suddenly she was afraid.

  I look at the guy, I look at her and then I look down the hallway towards the crowd and I hear it.

  "Jaxon Ward and Talia Cohen!" the speakers repeats again.

  I fix her and she fixs me.

  I'm so desperately lost in her that i have not found me yet.

  I moved her away but she never left, or rather, I stayed there, in her labyrinth, really looking for the rest of us that I loved and that I wanted to recover deep within me.

  And here she was all I wanted.

  Then I smile and she understands, she stands, leans forward and kisses me.

  The speaker calls our names again, but I fly high on their damn head because I lie in the arms and I do not care what it was, we did or we were; count what we are now.

  I pull away from her and hold her by the hand, then together, as if we knew everything, we go to the stage.

  I'm in love with her.

  And I am her, completely and irrenouncably.

  When we are one step away from appearing in the crowd to perform, she pulls me by the arm and stops me.

  "Two more things" she says with breathlessness and excitement.

  The rest to watch and with a quick and decisive movement, take off the shirt and stay with the top.

  I fix her firm, round breasts, narrow waist, perfect skin.

  The beautiful and thin arms.

  I do not look at her scars, no one would notice it saw everything else there is to look at in her.

  I'm shocked at what he did, but I'm proud she found the strength.

  Then I smile accomplice and adoring, and then I close my eyes and I sigh.

  "And the other thing?" I ask her.

  She pulls me by the arm laughing, I was not prepared so I end up in front of the audience and on stage with her stumbling and laughing again.

  The murmur subsides and I see that Talia winks at someone in the audience.

  I follow her gaze with caution for a long time, but finally I see him.

  Dad is there, standing next to Wiley, Caroline, Matt and all our friends, who is clapping and watching me.

  He's waiting for me.

  He acclaims me.

  It's here. For me.

  They are all here for me, for us.

  Thanks to her, I do not know what other spell you have to do, but now you are settling into position to start.

  I do not believe it but that's really my father, he's here and he smiles. He is participant, active, alive.

  I would like to cry and tell her how much I love her, how sorry I am to have abandoned her and to have thought of leaving without dilei, but I do not and I choose to tell her all those things dancing.

  We advance on stage, the audience acclaims me while we get in position. We look at each other a second before the music starts.

  My heart stops as we look at each other, we begin to move and we are.

  It's us three: me, she and the dance.

  We're the best part of all the rest of us now.

  And I want it.

  It's perfect. Perfect for me.

  I tell him with his eyes as soon as our bodies begin to move together, making the crowd scream beneath us.

  I love you and i want you, Talia Cohen, i want everything of you.

  .30.

  Talia

  Music start and we are the world's center for real.

>   Lily is here with me, for once she doesn't hate me, she isn't my enemy, she takes me by hand.

  And then there are us, me and Jaxon.

  And that part of us full of fear, fault and anger flown away.

  For both.

  Sun's zone, those who escape from the shadows, those who are able to forgive, rather, stay.

  He wants me with him yet.

  He forgave me.

  He chose me.

  Jax wants me for who i am.

  The crowd cheers us and the feet of Jax and mine move in unison, we turn, ciallontaniamo, we slip to the ground and we meet again.

  It makes me twirl in the air, we laugh on our mouths and we kiss where we should not.

  The audience accompanies us clapping hands.

  Someone shouts. I notice Mr. Ward and Wiley doing a hola type and I can not believe what I see.

  I can not make it clear that things can eventually go well, just like in movies. Even for someone like me.

  I can not believe he's dancing with me and watching me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on.

  That all these people can see my arms without horrifying because they are focused on the rest of me that no longer belongs to my past.

  I did not know I could go back to being happy.

  I am out of breath when we get to the last grip.

  Jaxon pulls me up and swings me to the ground but catches me up again, then bends me backwards, sharpening my back and imposing a hand at the height of my heart.

  The stupid part of me that now belongs to him.

  The fragil part, weak, but his.

  We end up, the public are in blaze and we stay for a couple of istant like this.

  I have my arms stretch backwards and in that elegant stay i seem very beautiful.

  There aren't no more my wounds, neither one, and even if i know that they are indelible scars, i also believe that i can accept it now.

  Jaxon stands up me quitly, brings us back, without breath like me, in the upright position.

  I ind myself so near to him. one step fom his face with people that clap theirhand again and the speaker that invites us to leave the stage.