The Good for Nothings

by Danielle Banas

  28

  I ran through the mansion so fast I didn’t even feel my feet hit the floor.

  “Cora!” Anders chased after me, but I didn’t respond.

  I sprinted all the way down to the water’s edge, where I finally sank to my knees in the sand. The tide was high, soaking me up to my hips. I wasn’t afraid of it this time; I wasn’t worried about drowning, not when Elio was already gone. Elio plucked it out, presenting it to the crowd. This was it. His salvation. All contained in a small glass vial, but destroying it didn’t matter now. Nothing did.

  “I can go out there,” Anders said, pulling at the buttons on his shirt. “I’m a good swimmer. I can pull him out.”

  What was even left to pull out?

  I fisted my hands in the sand, feeling a clump of seaweed curl around my wrists. Footsteps sounded on the beach behind us. Wren had caught up, followed by Nana Rae, Verena, and a small cluster of her guards. No sight of Cruz or Evelina or Blair or the warden. Good. I hoped they all got ripped to shreds in Ironside.

  Anders paced the shoreline, squinting at the waves. “There has to be something we can—Cora, look!”

  “What?”

  “There! About five yards out.”

  I stood to get a better view as the tide rolled around us. Something was gleaming in the water. A piece of metal …

  A hand.

  The tide pushed it against my legs, and I picked it up. Elio’s hand, full of holes, wires dangling out. And around us, more pieces of him dragged in by the tide. A leg, an ear, one of the sensors from his eyes. All that was left of my best friend.

  Anders collected the parts as I choked back a sob. “I’m so sorry, Cora,” he murmured. “I wish…”

  I blocked him out. His apologies, Wren’s frantic murmurs to Verena on the beach. None of them were here. It was just me and Elio. Like life used to be before everything got so messed up.

  And then … an idea struck me.

  My thoughts were moving too fast for me to reason with them. I ripped off my shoes and dived into the waves.

  “CORA!” Wren and Anders yelled.

  The water was cold enough to freeze the air in my lungs. I heard a splash behind me, more yelling, but I ignored them. A wave crashed over my head. I was thrown under. Upside down. Right side up. I couldn’t tell.

  My arms flailed, searching, but the water was too dark. I pushed myself toward what I thought might be the seabed, lungs screaming for air. Everything on this star-forsaken planet was too dark, and Elio was dead, and—

  A blue light blazed around me.

  I spun around, a stream of bubbles escaping my mouth in shock. A shape hovered in the water with me, holding a blaster. The figure shot again, and the glow illuminated Anders’s face.

  He shot a third time before pointing to the ocean floor.

  Using the beam from the blaster as a searchlight, I could finally see just how much of Elio there was to sort through. Gears and bolts and sensors and chips. But it was a large panel, wedged between two rocks, that caught my attention. I reached for it, wrapped my fingers around its edges, pushing through the fog pressing on my mind.

  My chest was on fire. My head was on fire. I was breaking apart, just like Elio …

  With a fierce yank, I was sucked backward and dragged toward the surface. As soon as my face hit the air, I hacked up a mouthful of water—spitting it directly into Anders’s eyes.

  Grimacing, he let the waves push us back to shore, refusing to release me until we washed up on the beach and Wren dragged us across the sand.

  “Did you—did you get it?” he asked between coughs. “Whatever it is?”

  I nodded, throat burning, salt water stinging my eyes. I showed them the square panel I’d freed from the ocean’s grip.

  “What’s that?” Wren asked.

  Heart throbbing, I pushed aside wires running back and forth into various ports, searching for a watertight compartment. If there was any chance it survived, any chance Evelina’s blaster hadn’t fried it completely …

  My nails hit home. I dug them into the little box beside Elio’s auditory interface and pulled the latch open.

  “It’s his memory core.” Under the moonlight, a small glass cube twinkled, frosted as if it were covered in ice. “And it’s still whole.”

  “So if we get him another body,” Wren said, “could you transfer his memories—?”

  “Yes,” I breathed. I dug my fingers into their arms. “Yes, yes, yes!”

  Elio was still here, his entire life sitting in the palm of my hand, and as soon as I got a new bot I would bring him back.

  “Excuse me? Miss Saros?” In my excitement, I hadn’t noticed Verena creep up behind us. Nana Rae watched us all with concern from the edge of the beach.

  “Miss Saros, was the elixir lost in Elio’s fall?”

  We all nodded.

  “Good.” Verena smiled. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank us quite yet.” I laughed. “You should see all the property damage we did in order to get here.”

  “Nonetheless. I believe I owe you a reward.” She nodded to the cube cupped in my hands. “You need only ask.”

  Wren let out a happy squeal, squeezing my shoulders. “Go ahead, Cora. Ask.”

  “I…”

  Anders had gotten revenge on his father. I’d given Evelina what she deserved. I still had Elio. I didn’t need Verena’s reward. I already got exactly what I wanted.

  But what did Wren get? She wanted friends, and she stood by me even when it was the last thing I deserved. Her heart was so much bigger than mine, and when Elio was here he had seen it too. He could wait a little longer for his new body. No matter what, he would want her to be happy.

  “Actually, Empress Verena…” Turning to Wren, I watched with glee as her eyes went wide. “If you have the resources, Wren has a lost brother who needs finding.”

  * * *

  “Can someone tell me what this is?” Wren yelled from the closet in Evelina’s foyer. Well, I guess it was now Nana Rae’s foyer—and sometimes Verena’s foyer, whenever she came over for a visit. “Is this a magic hammer or something?”

  I looked down the hall to see what she was holding up. “That’s a croquet mallet.”

  “A cricket mallet?”

  “No, a croquet—wait, aren’t you supposed to know this stuff? You’re Earthan.”

  She tossed the mallet back in the closet and slammed the door. “Doesn’t mean I’ve ever had a cricket mallet. Your parents have a lot of weird stuff in here.”

  If weird was synonymous with way too much, then yes, it was plenty weird. I’d spent the weeks following the New Moon trying to clean it up, selling the more expensive items. Most of the stolen artwork was returned to the same galleries that Cruz and Evelina had taken it from. Occasionally, the curators gave me a finder’s fee, more out of pity than anything, but I wasn’t complaining. Nana Rae helped when she had time, and day by day the floors of the house grew tidier, emptier—especially with significantly fewer people dumping their stolen treasures throughout its halls.

  “What are we having for dinner?” Wren scrolled through her comm. “I heard that porci puffs are on special at that deli down the street, but somehow eating one feels wrong. Is fried jellyfish any good?”

  I shrugged from my spot at the kitchen table. “Order anything you want. I’m almost done here.”

  “I’m putting in a vote for pon,” Anders mumbled around the lollipop in his mouth. He dropped his hand on top of mine. He was doing that a lot lately—the hand-holding thing. We hadn’t done anything else, not after everything that happened at Verena’s party, but it was still nice to know he cared.

  Picking up the pliers on the table, I gave the wires in front of me two final twists before snapping the control panel shut. “Wren! You better get enough food for four.”

  “Wait, wait, wait!” The floor shook as she ran down the hall and skidded into the kitchen. “Did I miss it?”

  “You’re just in time,” sai
d Anders.

  “Thank the stars!” She looked down at her comm. “Marcus, I gotta go. What? Yes, of course I’m flying out to meet you for Christmas! Condor doesn’t celebrate, so I’m not staying here. No, I’m not giving you a venomous shrub from Cadrolla as a gift! Are you insane?”

  Anders and I looked at each other, snickering. Ever since Verena sent out her personal team of investigators to locate Wren’s brother, she hadn’t gone more than a few hours without comming him to chat. They’d found the boy on an outpost in the central Milky Way, ferrying aristocratic businessmen and women on a loop from Uranus to Mars in order to work off a debt he owed to the warden. Anders’s father had given him money for a new spacecraft, but he’d been too ashamed to tell his family the truth of where it had come from. Now that the warden was behind bars, Marcus was raking in the cash, so Wren couldn’t exactly be angry with him. Just because she was now making a conscious effort not to steal (as often) didn’t mean she no longer appreciated his huge stacks of money.

  “Okay, okay! I’ll try to get you the venomous shrub. Marcus, I have to go!” Wren disconnected her comm with a beep, then wiped her brow. “Kids, right? Sheesh!” She looked at the table, a huge grin spreading across her face. “Is he ready?”

  I nodded. “He should be waking up in three … two … one…”

  Beeeeep!

  The three of us huddled around the bot lying on the table as he squeezed his hands into fists, slowly turning his head from side to side. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, and I held my breath, afraid that something would be different. That a fancier body would somehow change the friend I had known all my life.

  After a minute, he sat up, feet swinging toward the floor, eyes fluttering open. They weren’t as large as the sensors on his old body. His eyes looked more human, as did his ears, which were small and round instead of flopping onto his shoulders. He was taller now, too. All the new models were taller, and I’d used every ritle I’d saved up recently from purging the house to buy Elio the nicest, tallest body I could find.

  The fan in his central processor whirred while he stretched his arms, no wire patches or dents in sight. His mouth popped open in awe, and then, after what felt like the longest moment of my life, he looked at me and smiled.

  “I hope you brought me a milkshake to smell.”

  “Elio!” I threw my arms around him, squeezing him to my chest. Finally, after enduring so much, he was here. He was safe.

  “I missed you too,” he mumbled into my hair. “I fell off a building.”

  “I know you did. I know.”

  “It really hurt.”

  “I’m sure it did.” I pulled back. “Here, I didn’t get you a milkshake, but I got you something else.” I grabbed a strip of brown fluff off the counter.

  “A mustache! You remembered!” Elio ripped off the adhesive and slapped it on his face. “Friends, how do I look?”

  “Very dignified,” Anders said.

  “Very human,” Wren added.

  Elio pumped his arms in the air. “Yes!” He looked around at all of us. “So … what happened after I…?”

  “Died?” Anders finished. I punched his arm.

  “You’re so insensitive!”

  “You said I had a gentle soul!”

  I ignored him. “Cruz, Evelina, and the warden are gone. They’re in Ironside. Evelina has tried comming me and Nana a few times, but we keep ignoring her.”

  “That’s what the wicked witch deserves,” Elio said.

  Squealing, Wren held out her hand for a high five. “Elio! Babycakes! I’ve seen that net drama too!”

  Anders pushed her out of the way. “They all ended up in the same cell we did, if you can believe it. I visited the prison the other day to make sure they’re being shackled properly. They seem pretty happy, actually. If they knew how many times I pissed in the corner of that cell, they’d feel differently, but I’m not planning on telling them.”

  “There’s our Andilly warrior,” said Wren. “Classy to the max.”

  Anders pushed out a claw and waved it in her face.

  “Hmmm … what else has been going on?” Wren tapped her chin. “Oh! I have news! I just got a new ship!”

  My jaw fell open. “You did? Wait, when you say ‘got a ship,’ did you steal it or did you—?”

  “No, I bought it. Ye of little faith.” She showed us a photo on her comm. The ship was sleek, painted as black as the Condor sky. Most importantly, it wasn’t hideous.

  “I have a name all picked out. Ready? It’s so good. I’m calling it … the Disaster.”

  I laughed so hard that I started snorting, which just made all of us laugh even harder. “That’s ironic.”

  “I know! But wait, there’s more. This is colossally big.” Eyes alight, she leaned forward. “I heard from my brother, who heard from his mechanic, who heard from her cousin’s boyfriend’s sister’s bartender that there’s another one of those dangerous, life-altering treasures lurking around in the Sombrero Galaxy.” Wren leaned back in her chair, legs crossed. “Supposedly, it’s some magic rock that can create alternate dimensions, shift the fabric of reality. I’ve even heard it has the potential to clone an army of humans. How scary is that?”

  Anders frowned. “Sounds like it would be detrimental in the wrong hands, certainly.”

  “I was going to say it would sell for billions of ritles on the black market, but sure, that too. I just want to find the star-forsaken thing.” She looked around at all of us, then her gaze dropped to the floor, suddenly shy. “I, uh, I was hoping maybe you all would want to find it with me?”

  Elio gasped. “As long as I get to bring snacks, I’m in.”

  “Done! Chef Elio is onboard! Andykins? Cora? C’mon, you can’t let us go without you.”

  Anders nudged me in the shoulder just before his hand tangled up with mine again. “I have nothing else on my agenda,” he said. “If you buy me four blasters and two bags of lollipops, then I’ll consider coming.”

  “Two blasters and one bag,” Wren countered.

  “Three blasters and three bags. And I get to insult all your stupid ideas as much as I want.”

  “You do that anyway!”

  “So it shouldn’t be a problem.” He squeezed my hand again. “Cora? What do you want? Her guard is down, so now’s the time to make your demands.”

  Laughing, I shook my head. I didn’t have demands. Spending time with them, sitting in my kitchen taking jabs at one another, was more than I had ever wanted.

  I’d never considered this house my home. I still didn’t. Home was always wherever Elio was. And now, it was with Wren and Anders too. There was nothing for me on Condor. Nana Rae didn’t need me to stay. She had Verena. And I had my own family now.

  “You know…,” I said, rubbing my hands together. “We’re probably the best idiots for this job…”

  Wren’s grin flared. “We’re the only idiots for this job.”

  “Thank goodness we don’t have competition,” Elio added with an excited beep.

  Anders groaned. “Can we please rephrase this so it doesn’t sound so derogatory?”

  “Certainly.” Wren cleared her throat. “Anders is the best idiot for the job. Now you have bragging rights.”

  “I can’t believe I’m getting back on a ship with you imbeciles.”

  “Now who’s being derogatory?” Elio puffed out his chest. “At least we’re the best imbeciles.”

  All of us laughed, even Anders. After Wren sobered up and wiped the tears from her eyes, she nudged my leg with her boot. “Are we doing this or what?”

  I thought about it, even though I already knew what to say. When we were on Tunerth, Wren had called us the start of a really bad joke. An Earthan, two aliens, and a robot walk into a bar … But today’s joke was far more satisfying.

  An Earthan, two aliens, and a robot board a ship and take on the universe …

  That treasure wouldn’t know what hit it.

  Kicking up my legs into Anders’s lap, I
reached for Elio’s shiny new hand. Turning to Wren, I smiled and then asked her, “So, Captain … when do we take off?”

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Somehow, I naively thought I would be the exception to the writing a second book is really super hard rule. Yeah. That didn’t happen. Now that I’m no longer pounding my laptop keyboard at four in the morning, I can finally collect my thoughts long enough to say THANK YOU!

  It truly takes a village to create a book, and this story could not have grown without a tremendous amount of help from the following people:

  Emily Settle: I am so grateful to have an editor who appreciates and encourages all the weird jokes I make in my manuscripts. (And also one who christens my characters “the cinnamon roll,” “the burnt cinnamon roll,” etc.) Thank you for your kind critiques when I’m writing something super weird and wrong, and for your enthusiasm when I’m writing something (still) super weird but at least funny. I appreciate you SO MUCH!

  Jean Feiwel, Lauren Scobell, Liz Dresner, Brittany Pearlman, Kelsey Marrujo, Teresa Ferraiolo, and everyone at Swoon Reads and Macmillan who works so hard to bring these books into your hands: you are all rock stars! Thank you! And thanks for letting me stick around to write a second book for you. (Hehehe!)

  Markia Jenai: thank you for creating the zany mugshot cover of my dreams!!! You nailed it! It’s safe to say that I’ll be fangirling over it for a long time. Anah Tillar: thank you for your help reviewing Wren’s character. I appreciate your time and your insight so much!

  Readers, booksellers, librarians, teachers, bloggers, and bookstagrammers: Thank you for your support, your reviews, your tweets, and your gorgeous photos that always leave me squealing at my phone in glee. Books are nothing without the people who read them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting mine.

  The Swoon Squad (aka the coolest group of writers on the whole gosh darn internet): thank you for the love, the support, and for always getting it when it seems like no one else does. Stay awesome, friends!

  Big thanks to the pool deck at Disney’s All-Star Movies Resort, where I did chapters seven through ten of my line edits. If I could work there all the time, then I suspect I would be a million times more productive.