Beautifully Shattered: Shadowcrest Pack Series Book One

by B. Livingstone

  “Anything you need, love,” Cree whispers against my temple as he places a kiss there and Axel smiles at us.

  “We're going to start a warm shower for you. Help you get cleaned up and out of those soiled clothes. Okay? You’ll feel much better in some fresh clothes.” Axel, again being the soothing nurturer that he is, tells me. “Reed, can you change the bedding while Cree and I take her to clean up?” I can’t make out Reed’s grumbled reply clearly, he sounds like he’s in another room a million miles away. But it sounded something like “as if you have to fucking ask.” Axel doesn’t even dignify that with a response, my pacifist.

  “Where's Enzo and Wild?” Wild, he had this playful energy about him, a spark that felt familiar when we collided outside the bathroom. A familiar energy I want to explore more. Enzo, he’s got an intensity to him that causes shivers to run up my spine and my core to clench. There is an instant trust between us, at least on my side. He understands the darkness in me, the one that causes others to run from me. However, I can’t help feeling that Enzo is running as well, but for different reasons I don’t yet understand but am determined to figure out.

  “I’m out here darling and Enzo is ... ouch. Will you guys fucking stop smacking me in the back of the head,” Wild exclaimed from another room. I can’t help it; I giggle at Wild’s distress. Poor Wild.

  “I’m here,” Enzo grumbles.

  Here. I gasp at the sound of my wolf in my head.

  You’re here still. I reassure myself I wasn’t hearing things.

  Of course. Silly girl.

  Glad to hear your sense of humor is still intact. I’m so sorry for what I put us through. I promise you I will never do this to us again. Tears leak from my eyes at the thought that I could have lost my wolf because of my choices. Between denying her for so long and indulging in heavy drugs could have killed her and ultimately me as well. But to hear her now means we’re healing and we’re going to be alright.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” Cree begged.

  “Nothing. Honestly, nothing,” I giggle out on a hiccup cry, “it’s just my wolf. She’s here. She’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

  “Of course you’re going to be okay. Both of you,” Cree hums against my temple. Before he and Axel move to prepare for the shower.

  My happy moment is short lived as worry starts to take residence in my mind and body. Shhh, my wolf hums. I try to listen to her but the pain I feel goes beyond the alley. Everything I try to forget with the pills is front and center and without the pills I can’t forget. Closing my eyes, I try to find that sweet nothing that has been my safe place, to curl up with my wolf and forget.

  Cree

  Enzo finally got his head out of his ass and showed back up after having run off during our hunt, just in time to overhear Axel talk about helping Riley clean up. He went and got the shower started, warming the bathroom, and filling it with steam.

  Hugging Riley close to my chest I carry her into the bathroom. It smells like orange and sandalwood. I look in the corner and spot a diffuser. I can feel Riley sniff the air and hum her appreciation. “Smells like Enzo in here,” she whispers softly. That pulls a smile from me. Little fucker. He played that one well. For someone trying to not get close to our girl, he seems to be doing just the opposite.

  Placing Riley on the counter, Axel stands on her right and I am angled slightly on her left. She is so weak she can't sit up on her own and her eyes keep dropping shut. Together we steady her while we get her undressed. Sliding her sleep shirt up and over her broken body, I am reminded of the scene in the alley. My blood pumps in my ears and I am forced to look away as I start to feel murderous again. Memories of that night, the way her body was beaten and broken. Her ribs lined with bruises and her back almost completely concealed in bandages that are hiding a myriad of scrapes and lacerations. A deep bluish-purple bruise from the swelling of a handprint across the front of her neck and over her wrists. Deep bruises on her outer thighs from where his knees pressed her legs together and on her inner thighs from prying them open. Lacerations on the back of her thighs and even on her ass from sliding around the alley. Her right eyebrow was split open and her eye was almost completely swollen shut from the blows she took to her face. Taking a deep centering breath, I turn back toward Riley, now seeing how much her body has healed over the week since her attack. She is still a little worse for wear but she’s here now. Right now she needs me here, not back there.

  Axel and I strip down to our boxers then I lift Riley and carry her into the shower. I sit on the bench with her in my lap, her side to my front as Axel begins rinsing her down. She moans at the feel of the warm water cascading down her back. As the bandages soak and loosen Axel gently peels them away. Thankfully, she pulled through the worst of the withdrawals and her wolf is getting stronger and she is healing faster, therefore her back is mostly healed. Only the really deep lacerations still have some healing to do, but nothing that requires the need for bandages any longer. Though the emotional wounds still ran deep and would take much longer to heal.

  Completely pliant in my arms, I brace her form and lean her back while Axel rinses her hair. He turns and grabs a bottle of coconut shampoo. He lathers it into her hair, and she moans again as he massages the shampoo into her scalp, working his fingers down to the base of her head, kneading as he goes along. Riley continues to moan and groan as Axel works her scalp and hair into a bubbling lather of shampoo. He then proceeds to rinse her hair clean. It takes a couple more washes to completely wash her long fiery red locks clean of all the buildup. I shoot Axel a murderous look as he makes Riley moan again. He just fucking smirks at me.

  Axel grabs a sponge and squirts some Dial body wash on it and starts to gently wash her body ensuring each open wound is cleaned. He starts at her neck gently massaging her muscles, working his way down each arm, giving each finger equal attention before working his way back up. As he makes his way down her back, I turn Riley in my lap, placing a leg on each side of me and pull her front against my chest. Her breasts rub against me and I can’t stop my body's reactions to her. As Axel massages her back, Riley sinks into my body nuzzling her nose into my neck. Axel works his hands between our bodies and runs his hands across her chest just above her breasts. Riley leans back into Axel, her eyes closed, soaking in the comfort being held safe and protected between our two bodies. Seeing her like this, so relaxed and vulnerable causes my heart to swell and my cock to pulse.

  Axel's hands work their way down, innocently touching her breasts causing her nipples to harden into diamond peaks. Her hips start to gyrate against my pelvis and her arousal spikes. My cock hardens against her, separated from the place it really wants to be by the thin material of my boxers. Her core heats up as he gently massages her nipples between his fingers. A throaty moan escapes her as she presses down onto me and I groan in pleasure and torture. My hands meet her hips stealing her movements. My eyes shoot to Axel. “Axel,” I growl. “Axel, you have to fucking stop.” My breathing catches as I try to maintain control of my body. Having Riley naked and writhing on my lap is more than I can tolerate.

  “Riley, tell us what you need, what you want,” Axel whispers in Riley’s ear before he nips her earlobe. Eliciting a gasp from her.

  “I need. I ... I ... need to feel wanted,” Riley pants out as her eyes glide open and meet mine, there’s a pleading look that cuts me to my core. “I want to feel your hands on my body, on my clit, on my breasts. I need to feel something other than this pain inside me.” A tear leaks from her eye and the sorrow-filled look tells me how much she and her wolf need to feel this connection.

  Fuck, why do I feel like I am going to regret this later.

  “Cree. Please,” Riley begs trying to push against my hands to relieve the pressure building inside her. Sliding her eyes closed, wanting to just feel.

  “Godsdamnit. Riley. Riley, open your eyes and look at me. Now,” I bark at her. Riley’s eyes flash open and lock onto mine. “I will not fuck you, Riley, that’s not w
hat you need. You’re in pain, sweetheart. and not just your body. You need relief from your pain and your wolf needs to feel comfort and protection. Understand me?”

  Riley just whimpers in my arms while Axel continues to caress and massage her nipples. “Riley, we'll give you what you need. Don’t worry. But we do this my way. I need you to tell us you’re okay with that. We will stop now if you tell us to.”

  “You have to speak, darling, out loud so we can hear you,” Axel softly speaks in her ear.

  “Yes please, just take the pain. Please,” Riley manages to speak.

  “Okay, baby, we got you. I’m gonna take care of your wolf while Axel takes care of you.” I gently turned Riley on my lap, pulling her back flush against my chest. Running my hand from her shoulders down her chest, over her tight breasts pinching each nipple. Continuing my downward descent reaching her thighs, I unfurl her legs placing mine between hers, spreading her wide exposing her core to Axel. I run my hands back up her thighs and skim my fingers through her wet folds. She squirms as I make contact with her clit, giving it a firm circling and pinch. I just can’t help myself; I chuckle at her body’s reaction and the cutest fucking noise that comes from our girl.

  Riley

  Axel kneels down in front of me and slides forward, so he’s between my legs and Cree’s. He gently places his hands on the top of each of my feet and glides them up my legs, inch by agonizing inch. Caressing tender spots as he moves along, until he reaches the apex at my thighs. The anticipation, as he sits back on his knees and looks up at me, is killing me. He slowly leans in; his lips meet my core and slowly he parts them allowing his tongue to peak out. He gradually, deliberately licks my pussy from base to clit, dipping just the tip of his tongue inside me. Holy Fuck. My head falls back, my eyes closing and my breath catching. His tongue plays circles around my clit before flattening over it applying the perfect amount of pressure. Cree's hands slide across my chest, his left hand to my right breast and his right hand to my throat. He locked his arm tight against my body. His legs wrap around my ankles, widening my legs as far as he can stretch them. I was completely at the mercy of Cree and Axel.

  My breathing picks up and this time it had nothing to do with the pleasure Axel was providing. This has everything to do with being in someone else's control, at their mercy. Images of Alastair and the guy from the alley flash behind my eyelids, fucking with this perfect moment. My heart is pounding, and I know the guys can hear it and smell my fear. Axel pulls back slowly, placing his hands on my knees. Cree's left-hand slides down to band across my ribs but his right hand doesn't leave my throat. My hands shoot up and grab ahold of his right forearm.

  "I can't breathe," I pant out.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cree

  “Bullshit, Riley. You can breathe. Just suck in air and push it out." I know it was harsh, but she needs to push through this. She is so much stronger than her pain, than her past. Her wolf needs to know she's safe with us. I saw how she curled up afraid to fight in that alley. With the pain of the withdrawal that they are going through, and how much worse things are going to get, now more than ever Riley and her wolf need to know how strong they really are. They need to face their fears and move forward from it.

  “Cree ... P-p-please,” Riley stutters out a begging plea to get me to release her. Axel is still down on his knees in front of her caressing her thighs. It’s clear the confining hold of my hand wrapped around her neck, along with the intimacy of Axel’s hands on her bare thighs, is fueling her panic right now. Releasing my hold slowly, I slide my hand down to rest over her racing heart. Her panic attack after her intimate moment with Enzo the other day, and now this one, it is becoming apparent there is a trauma in her past, one that is strong enough to cage her wolf’s natural protective instincts. We are going to break that hold over her. Call it selfish but I want to be close to my mate. I want to hold her hand and just be able to hold her. However, I prefer to do so without causing her pain every time.

  “Riley, listen to me. Open your eyes and look down.” Applying a little comforting pressure to where my hand is resting on her chest, I put a little alpha authority behind my words in hopes her wolf will push her to comply through her panic. However, her eyes remain closed. Axel reaches up with his left hand and rests it on her cheek. His thumb caressing her cheek bone. She presses tighter against me, every muscle tensing, trying to close in on itself.

  “Sweetheart, look at me. Please,” Axel soothes. His voice is like honey crawling over Riley and me. She shivers in my arms and my cock hardens against her ass. It’s hard to explain how Axel can affect me so much. No male has ever affected me like this.

  “Come on, baby, you can do it. Leave the past and come back to us." I try to guide Riley’s mind with my words while my bear reaches out to her inner wolf, soothing and comforting her, drawing her out. Reed’s wolf tried to dominate Riley’s to make her submit to him. Sure, it was for a good reason but that is not how you gain the trust of your mate. We want to show our mate we’re on even ground. That we don’t want to lord over her or stand in front of her while she cringes behind us, but rather we want to stand beside her. While we may be an alpha, we want to be her protector, her guardian, her friend, her lover ... her mate.

  Riley’s breathing begins to slow, becoming more even paced. I feel her pulse under my fingertips, it’s still racing but at a steadier trot. Her body loses its rigidness as her eyes slowly open. She peers down at Axel as he slowly gives her one of his award-winning smiles. “There’s my sweetheart. Better?” He continues to caress from her knees up her thighs, never breaking eye contact. I watch his hands glide over her smooth delicate skin and, fuck me, my cock twitches. His eye flick over her shoulder to me and he fucking smirks at me, knowing the effect this is having on me.

  Her head tilts back on my shoulder as her body sinks into me and she lets out a heavy breath she was holding. "I ... I don't know. I ... maybe?" she whispers, more in question, sounding so unsure of herself.

  Axel

  The water is turning cold and the shivers taking up residence in Riley's body have become stronger. "Come on, let us get you out of here and dried off," Cree states as he pulls both of Riley's legs to one side and cradles her in his arms. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous. I wish I were the one giving her comfort in that way. To hold her skin to skin, share my warmth and essence with her. My wolf whines in my head and my soul aches to be near her, to touch her again.

  Cree places Riley on the same counter we undressed her on earlier. My memory flashes back to the heartache I felt seeing her so broken. I wrap a towel quickly around my waist. Then grab a large soft fluffy teal bath sheet and another standard bath towel. I walk over to Cree and Riley tossing the bath towel to Cree and tenderly wrapping the bath sheet around Riley's shaking form. Cree covers himself with the towel and slips his boxers off underneath. I swallow down the moan building in my throat. I have never hidden my appreciation for both the female and male bodies, however I don't know how Cree would respond to my appreciation of his body. Being up close earlier, as he was turned on by Riley's arousal, I saw how large and in-charge he is under that towel. And he is large. I turn around quickly to hide my arousal at just the thought of Cree and Riley together in the shower and go to grab another towel for Riley's hair.

  Turning back, I find Cree standing between Riley’s legs, her body wrapped warmly in his strong embrace. Her head cradled against his bare chest, tucked snuggly under his chin and her eyes shut gently. She looks so peaceful there. No pain. No suffering. No tormenting past to hide from. Just peace, comfort, serenity. If I dared to, I may say love. Cree shifts his eyes in my direction without disturbing Riley’s peaceful place. I nod once in understanding and he picks her up off the counter. Riley’s legs wrap around his waist tightly and his hands cradle her under her ass. He carries her into the bedroom and sits on the bed, back against the headboard. She remains in his lap, wrapped protectively in his arms, and just rests against his chest. Her brea
thing evens out and her muscles go lax in Cree’s arms. He slides down to lie with her, shifting her weight to lie on her side snuggled into his front. I slide onto the bed behind her and wrap my arm around her middle while resting my face in the crook of her neck, closing my eyes, and inhaling her sweet summer rain scent.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Riley

  I wake to a soothing warmth surrounding me, offering a sense of deep healing I can't reject, as a safe heaviness drapes over my central body. I shift slightly off my side trying to roll to my back only to find I can't move, I'm pinned in place by two warm, large, firm, and very solid bookends. My eyes open to a brightness that has me gasping in shock. The most intense and truest hazel I'd ever seen. The color changes slightly to a darker hazel as the inner glow begins to recede into the background.

  "Cree?" I whisper his name, coming out more as a question than an acknowledgement.

  "My bear wouldn't believe me that you were okay. He needed to see you ... to ... smell you for himself." He blushes and seems to hesitate and stumble a bit on his words. The sight before me, of this big giant of a man blushing, oh my, my hand flies to cover my mouth before the laughter could fully escape. My shoulders shake with the attempt to not laugh. "Riley. Are you laughing at me?" Cree quirks an eyebrow at me as he asks, with so much mock seriousness in his tone. I just shake my head at him as I try not to laugh. However, all hope is lost when a sleepy Axel pipes in.

  "He is adorable when he blushes, isn't he?" That was it, I lost it. My hand flies to Cree's rock-solid chest as I burst into a fit of laughter. That is until Axel's words finally register and I peer over my shoulder at the man in question. His eyes glitter with mirth at my confusion and Cree's blushing. Glancing back at Cree I can see the affection and nervousness on his face. Oh yeah, there's something going on there.