The Fortunate Mistress (Parts 1 and 2)

by Daniel Defoe

well," says I; "but I am pretty heavy. I hope you'llset me down sometimes when you are aweary." "As for that," says he,"tire me if you can."

  This was all jest and allegory; but it was all true, in the moral of thefable, as you shall hear in its place. We were very merry the rest ofthe day, but without any noise or clutter; for he brought not one of hisacquaintance or friends, either English or foreigner. The honest Quakerprovided us a very noble dinner indeed, considering how few we were toeat it; and every day that week she did the like, and would at last haveit be all at her own charge, which I was utterly averse to; first,because I knew her circumstances not to be very great, though not verylow; and next, because she had been so true a friend, and so cheerful acomforter to me, ay, and counsellor too, in all this affair, that I hadresolved to make her a present that should be some help to her when allwas over.

  But to return to the circumstances of our wedding. After being verymerry, as I have told you, Amy and the Quaker put us to bed, the honestQuaker little thinking we had been abed together eleven years before.Nay, that was a secret which, as it happened, Amy herself did not know.Amy grinned and made faces, as if she had been pleased; but it came outin so many words, when he was not by, the sum of her mumbling andmuttering was, that this should have been done ten or a dozen yearsbefore; that it would signify little now; that was to say, in short,that her mistress was pretty near fifty, and too old to have anychildren. I chid her; the Quaker laughed, complimented me upon my notbeing so old as Amy pretended, that I could not be above forty, andmight have a house full of children yet. But Amy and I too knew betterthan she how it was, for, in short, I was old enough to have donebreeding, however I looked; but I made her hold her tongue.

  In the morning my Quaker landlady came and visited us before we were up,and made us eat cakes and drink chocolate in bed; and then left usagain, and bid us take a nap upon it, which I believe we did. In short,she treated us so handsomely, and with such an agreeable cheerfulness,as well as plenty, as made it appear to me that Quakers may, and thatthis Quaker did, understand good manners as well as any other people.

  I resisted her offer, however, of treating us for the whole week; and Iopposed it so long that I saw evidently that she took it ill, and wouldhave thought herself slighted if we had not accepted it. So I said nomore, but let her go on, only told her I would be even with her; and soI was. However, for that week she treated us as she said she would, anddid it so very fine, and with such a profusion of all sorts of goodthings, that the greatest burthen to her was how to dispose of thingsthat were left; for she never let anything, how dainty or however large,be so much as seen twice among us.

  I had some servants indeed, which helped her off a little; that is tosay, two maids, for Amy was now a woman of business, not a servant, andate always with us. I had also a coachman and a boy. My Quaker had aman-servant too, but had but one maid; but she borrowed two more of someof her friends for the occasion, and had a man-cook for dressing thevictuals.

  She was only at a loss for plate, which she gave me a whisper of; and Imade Amy fetch a large strong-box, which I had lodged in a safe hand, inwhich was all the fine plate which I had provided on a worse occasion,as is mentioned before; and I put it into the Quaker's hand, obligingher not to use it as mine, but as her own, for a reason I shall mentionpresently.

  I was now my Lady ----, and I must own I was exceedingly pleased withit; 'twas so big and so great to hear myself called "her ladyship," and"your ladyship," and the like, that I was like the Indian king atVirginia, who, having a house built for him by the English, and a lockput upon the door, would sit whole days together with the key in hishand, locking and unlocking, and double-locking, the door, with anunaccountable pleasure at the novelty; so I could have sat a whole daytogether to hear Amy talk to me, and call me "your ladyship" at everyword; but after a while the novelty wore off and the pride of it abated,till at last truly I wanted the other title as much as I did that ofladyship before.

  We lived this week in all the innocent mirth imaginable, and ourgood-humoured Quaker was so pleasant in her way that it was particularlyentertaining to us. We had no music at all, or dancing; only I now andthen sung a French song to divert my spouse, who desired it, and theprivacy of our mirth greatly added to the pleasure of it. I did not makemany clothes for my wedding, having always a great many rich clothes byme, which, with a little altering for the fashion, were perfectly new.The next day he pressed me to dress, though we had no company. At last,jesting with him, I told him I believed I was able to dress me so, inone kind of dress that I had by me, that he would not know his wife whenhe saw her, especially if anybody else was by. No, he said, that wasimpossible, and he longed to see that dress. I told him I would dress mein it, if he would promise me never to desire me to appear in it beforecompany. He promised he would not, but wanted to know why too; ashusbands, you know, are inquisitive creatures, and love to inquire afteranything they think is kept from them; but I had an answer ready forhim. "Because," said I, "it is not a decent dress in this country, andwould not look modest." Neither, indeed, would it, for it was but onedegree off from appearing in one's shift, but was the usual wear in thecountry where they were used. He was satisfied with my answer, and gaveme his promise never to ask me to be seen in it before company. I thenwithdrew, taking only Amy and the Quaker with me; and Amy dressed me inmy old Turkish habit which I danced in formerly, &c., as before. TheQuaker was charmed with the dress, and merrily said, that if such adress should come to be worn here, she should not know what to do; sheshould be tempted not to dress in the Quaker's way any more.

  When all the dress was put on, I loaded it with jewels, and inparticular I placed the large breast-jewel which he had given me of athousand pistoles upon the front of the _tyhaia_, or head-dress, whereit made a most glorious show indeed. I had my own diamond necklace on,and my hair was _tout brilliant_, all glittering with jewels.

  His picture set with diamonds I had placed stitched to my vest, just, asmight be supposed, upon my heart (which is the compliment in such casesamong the Eastern people); and all being open at the breast, there wasno room for anything of a jewel there.

  In this figure, Amy holding the train of my robe, I came down to him. Hewas surprised, and perfectly astonished. He knew me, to be sure, becauseI had prepared him, and because there was nobody else there but theQuaker and Amy; but he by no means knew Amy, for she had dressed herselfin the habit of a Turkish slave, being the garb of my little Turk whichI had at Naples, as I have said; she had her neck and arms bare, wasbareheaded, and her hair braided in a long tassel hanging down her back;but the jade could neither hold her countenance or her chatteringtongue, so as to be concealed long.

  Well, he was so charmed with this dress that he would have me sit anddine in it; but it was so thin, and so open before, and the weatherbeing also sharp, that I was afraid of taking cold; however, the firebeing enlarged and the doors kept shut, I sat to oblige him, and heprofessed he never saw so fine a dress in his life. I afterwards toldhim that my husband (so he called the jeweller that was killed) boughtit for me at Leghorn, with a young Turkish slave which I parted with atParis; and that it was by the help of that slave that I learned how todress in it, and how everything was to be worn, and many of the Turkishcustoms also, with some of their language. This story agreeing with thefact, only changing the person, was very natural, and so it went offwith him; but there was good reason why I should not receive any companyin this dress--that is to say, not in England. I need not repeat it; youwill hear more of it.

  But when I came abroad I frequently put it on, and upon two or threeoccasions danced in it, but always at his request.

  We continued at the Quaker's lodgings for above a year; for now, makingas though it was difficult to determine where to settle in England tohis satisfaction, unless in London, which was not to mine, I pretendedto make him an offer, that, to oblige him, I began to incline to go andlive abroad with him; that I knew nothing could be more agreeable tohim, and that as to me, every place was alik
e; that, as I had livedabroad without a husband so many years, it could be no burthen to me tolive abroad again, especially with him. Then we fell to straining ourcourtesies upon one another. He told me he was perfectly easy at livingin England, and had squared all his affairs accordingly; for that, as hehad told me he intended to give over all business in the world, as wellthe care of managing it as the concern about it, seeing we were both incondition neither to want it or to have it be worth our while, so Imight see it was his intention, by his getting himself naturalised, andgetting the patent of baronet, &c. Well, for all that, I told him Iaccepted his compliment, but I could not but know that his nativecountry, where his children were breeding up, must be most agreeable tohim, and that, if I was of such value to him, I would be there then, toenhance the rate of his satisfaction; that wherever he was would be ahome to me, and any place in the world