The Gunfighter

by Robert J Conley

  Chapter Thirteen

  Well, the three of us witnesses and ole Sly, the victim, we unloaded our tired asses offa the stage over to the county seat, and they already had rooms a-waiting for us in the hotel there. The trial was scheduled to start the next morning at ten, and whenever she heard that, ole Bonnie give me a real dirty look, but anyhow Happy and Bonnie and Sly all said they had to get theirselves some sleep so they’d be ready to go in the morning. I went on over to the nearest saloon to have me a few drinks of good whiskey before I retired for the night. I seen ole Dick Custer in there, and me and him had us a couple drinks together. I opined as how the trial had oughta be short and sweet, and he told me that I was right, it had oughta be that for sure. Only thing was, he said, that them boys had got theirselves ole Ranee Stinger for their defense lawyer, and he was a slick one.

  “Be careful what you say, Baijack,” he warned me.

  Well, it turned out the next day that ole Custer was right, sort of. Ole Stinger did his damndest to lay ever’thing off on ole Sly. These men, Stinger said, was all good citizens, and knowing that their beloved community was harboring a notorious killer, a man what murdered for money, and them knowing that their own town marshal was a-siding with him, getting drunk with him, even sharing his wife with him, why, they just natural decided to take the law into their own hands. He purt near had that jury convinced, I believe.

  But the other side got me and then Happy and then Bonnie on the stand, and the three of us, whenever you put our whole stories together, told them the whole truth. I told them that all the citizens of Asininity was skeered to death whenever they heard who had stopped over in our town, but I said that I had visited with ole Sly and had determined that he weren’t in town to do no killing. I had also did my research and knowed that he weren’t wanted for no crimes, and I assured them that he hadn’t committed no crimes in my town. I even told them as how he had stopped a long-standing feud, and how two men had come a-gunning for him, and he hadn’t killed neither one of them even though he could of did it real easy and total legal as self-defense.

  Then Happy told how that mob had come after Sly and just what they had did to get him, including knocking ole Happy silly and him the town depitty marshal. He told the whole story about how all that come about, and Bonnie did too. In the end they didn’t have no choice but what to find them fine upstanding citizens, each and all, guilty as hell of attempted murdering and partial responsible for the death of ole Marty Bodene. Well, the judge, it was ole Hardnose Harrison, he dismissed the court till the next morning whenever we was all to show up again to hear the sentencing, so we went out to get us some supper.

  Now, if you know about the time whenever I sent them Bensons off to the pen and then they got out later and come a-looking to kill me for it, you might be a-thinking that I was worried about the time when this bunch would get out. Well, I weren’t. You see, they wasn’t hardcases like them Bensons had been. ‘Cept for that one fool thing they done, they really was good citizens, and they was all genuine ashamed for what they had did. I didn’t have no worries about none of them coming around later looking to get even. Hell, none of them wouldn’t hardly even look no one in the face during the whole entire trial.

  Well, we had us a steak dinner, and then we all went on over to the saloon and ordered us up some good whiskey, me and Happy and Bonnie and ole Sly, and we found us a table and set together to drink. I looked around and took stock of what kinda folks was in that place. The county seat was some bigger than Asininity, and the saloon there was packed a mite tighter than what the Hooch House usual got, even though I had fixed it up so that the Hooch House was the only place to go for a drink in our town. Well, might’ near the only one, the only other’n being the White Owl Supper Club what was owned by my wife. But that was all fixing to change, as you well know. Anyhow, I noticed a few pretty tough-looking customers in the place, one bunch in particular what was all a-setting together that seemed to be eyeballing us some. I figgered it was just’cause we was knowed to be in town for the trial. Well, by and by ole Sly excused hisself and headed for his room. I figgered he was just being his old cautious self, since we was over there in another town what he was not familiar with and so not total comfortable in.

  After a while ole Bonnie got up to go out back, and me and Happy set there a-drinking and a-talking about the trial and about that bunch we was fixing to send up. I don’t know how much time had went by, but then I heard ole Bonnie’s voice. There weren’t no mistaking it.

  “Get your hands offa me, you son of a bitch,” she hollered.

  I jumped up and looked around and seen her take a swing at a poor ole cowhand what was about half drunk and had likely spotted ole Bonnie for what she was and had made some kinda proposal to her, I reckon. She had took offense at it, I guess, likely’cause me and her was so tight, and she had done quit taking on customers again so that I would be her only lover. Well, now, I knowed the poor ole cowhand had made a honest mistake, but then, Bonnie was my woman, so what was I to do? I went on over there and knocked him on his ass.

  He musta had some friends in that place, ‘cause someone hit me over the head with a chair just then, and the next thing I knowed the whole damn saloon had become a battlefield. I know I knocked out some teeth, and I think I busted a arm, but about the third time I got hit on the back of the head, I went down and blacked out. I woke up the next morning in a jail cell. My head was hurting like hell. As I slowly woke up and looked around, I seen that Happy was in there with me, and ole

  Bonnie was a-sleeping it off in the next door cell. By and by, ole Custer come around.

  “Baijack,” he said, “trouble follows you around like a faithful dog. I’m going to let you three out of here, because the trial’s starting up in just a few minutes. Then, as a favor to a fellow law officer, I’m not filing any charges — if you’ll get out of town right away. There’s a stage leaving at noon. The trial ought to be done by then. I want you and all your friends on that stage.”

  “We’ll be on the son of a bitch,” I said. “I sure don’t want to hang around here no longer than I have to. You got a damn unfriendly town here, you know that?”

  Well, he let me and ole Happy out, and somehow he got Bonnie woke up and outa her cell without getting tossed through the air, and the three of us headed over to the courthouse. We met Sly there, and we all went in and set together. Ole Custer was right. It didn’t take long. Ole Hard-nose sent them boys all off to the pen for a few years and then dismissed the court.

  “Well,” I said, as we was a-standing up to leave, “we got to be on the noon stage, so let’s all go get our stuff together and be ready.”

  I didn’t give them no more details just how come we had to be on that stage, and they didn’t ask. We walked out the front door of the courthouse, and the four of us was standing in a row, and I seen that mean-ass bunch I had noticed in the saloon. They was standing shoulder to shoulder out in the middle of the street facing us. I swear what I remember of what happened next is real hazy and kinda dreamy-like, but I heard one of them bastards yell out, “There he is,” and then I seen all their hands go for guns. Outa the comer of my eye, I seen ole Sly whip out his own Colt, but after that I don’t know nothing’cept hearing gun blasts and feeling them damn pieces of lead slamming into my body. I don’t know how many times I got hit.

  *

  Well, I guess the son of a bitches damn near killed me. The next thing I know is I come out of it a-hurting like hell, sore all over like I’d been beat up and down with a stick, and hungry as a bear right after hibernating. I was in a strange bed, but what weren’t strange was ole Bonnie was setting right there by the bed. Whenever I opened my eyeballs, she commenced to squealing.

  “Oh, Baijack,” she said. “Baijack. God, I was afraid they’d killed you. Oh, God, you’re awake.”

  “Yeah, hell,” I said, “and I’m hungry, too.”

  Well, she got me a big bowl of some kinda stew right away, and she got me some coffee. I
told her I wanted some whiskey, but she said the doc wouldn’t allow that. She told me I was still over to the county seat laying right in the same bed they had first brung me to whenever I got blowed away. After I had et me some of that there stew and drunk me a couple cups of coffee, things started in to coming back into my head, and I asked her about ole Sly.

  “He’s doing a little better than you, Baijack,” she said. “He got outa bed yesterday, but he was shot up pretty bad too. Them Jaspers like to of killed the both of you.” “Jaspers?” I said.

  “That’s who they was,” she said. “The sheriff told me. There was seven of them. They was after Mister Sly, but you happened to be standing next to him is all, so they

  went for you too. The sheriff, he killed one of them, and Sly, he got one before they brung him down. One of them’s wounded and setting over there in the county jail.”

  “That leaves four,” I said.

  “Yeah,” she said. “They got away.”

  Well, I guess I kinda faded out again, and I think that for the next several days it was like that, you know, kinda in and out, and when I final really come to my senses and could get up and down sorta by my own self, why, ole Bonnie told me I’d been laid up there in bed in that county seat for nigh onto two weeks. Ole Sly, he’d come back around and got up in just over a week. Either he was a tougher son of a bitch than me or he weren’t hit as bad. I ain’t sure which, but if he weren’t hit as bad as me that sure as hell weren’t fair, ‘cause them Jaspers was really a-trying to kill him, not me.

  Somehow neither Bonnie nor Happy had even got hit with all them bullets a-flying, and Bonnie had told Happy to get his ass on back to Asininity and keep his eye on things over there. Well, with me final coming back around, the three of us, me and Bonnie and ole Sly, we packed up our things and loaded our ass onto the next stage. Ole Custer was sure glad to see us go, too. He told me just before we left that he had sent out wires on them Jaspers, and I just kinda grunted at that. He also said the judge had give that wounded one a speedy trial, and they was a-fixing to hang his ass. Bonnie lugged all of my bags as well as her own out to the stage. She wouldn’t have me toting nothing heavier than just the clothes on my back.

  That was the roughest stage ride I have ever took, and a course it was all ’cause of them bullet holes in me. I was still sore all over my whole entire body. But I was glad to be getting home anyhow. Whenever we rolled into Asininity, ole Happy, he come a-running. “Baijack,” he hollered, “am I glad to see you up and around. I was sure worried about you.” And you know what? I believe that he really had been. Then I seen ole Lillian a-standing over on the sidewalk. Sly seen her too, and he walked on over there to where she was a-standing, and they give each other a hug right there for all the world to see. They hadn’t never did that before. Out in public like that.

  I started in to making my way toward the Hooch House kinda slow and easy, and Sly and Lillian caught up with me. “Baijack,” Lillian said, “I’m glad you’re all right. I really am.” I didn’t hardly know what to say to her, so I just kinda nodded and grunted. Then she said, “Our divorce is final, Baijack. I just thought you’d want to know.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said. “Well, thanks for that there information, Lillian.” I tipped my hat kinda like ole Sly mighta did and excused my ass and headed on for the Hooch House. Ole Bonnie had been holding me up by my left arm all this time, and she kept a-doing it all the way on over to our saloon. I weren’t sorry for the way things was a-tuming out, but the news about the dee-vorce kinda set me back a bit. I guess just’cause it was a big change in my life, you know. Anyhow, I was pretty quiet all the way till, me and Bonnie was a setting in our own favorite chairs at our own favorite table and our own barkeep, ole Aubrey, was a-running over at us with our favorite drinks.

  Damn, I was glad to have that whiskey. I hadn’t had none since I’d been blasted all to hell. It sure did taste good. Happy come in and set with us, too, and I said that ever’one had ought to be having a drink with me to celebrate that them bastard Jaspers hadn’t killed my ass. Then I pulled myself out a ceegar and lit that up. That was another pleasure that had been kept away from me for about two whole damn weeks. Well, the ceegar made me dizzy, and the drink made me woozy, and I figgered that my inactivity for them two long weeks and what blood I had lost and all had really got me outa shape for the serious things in life. I told Bonnie how I was feeling, and she took me upstairs to bed.

  Next morning I was up early. ‘Course Bonnie weren’t, and I didn’t dare do nothing about it. I figgered if she was to send me a-flying again, in the shape I was in, it would kill me deader’n hell for sure. I got myself dressed and went down the stairs real slow and easy. Aubrey was at work, and he went to fixing me a breakfast right away. Pretty soon ole Happy come in, and me and him set down together and had our breakfasts there.

  “That Sly is sure a gentleman,” Happy said.

  “How’s that?” I said.

  “Even with you and Lillian divorced,” Happy said, “Sly still wouldn’t stay in the house with her last night.”

  “You a-spying on them, are you?” I said.

  “Well, no. Not really,” said Happy, “but I seen them walk over to your — to the house last night. I just happened to be out there thataway, and I seen them. That’s all.”

  I went on eating, and Aubrey come over to refill our coffee cups. It sure was good to be home, but I wished that I wasn’t feeling so weak. I sure couldn’t afford to get no one real mad at me. A good punch to the jaw or to the gut woulda broke me in half.

  “Speaking of Sly,” I said, “I reckon he’s still over at the White Owl?”

  “No sir,” said Happy. “He had his breakfast, and then he mounted up and rode outa town. I think he’s out there practicing up with his six-guns.”

  I stopped eating on that and just looked at ole Happy for a few seconds. “Getting back in shape, is he?” I said.

  “I reckon,” Happy said.

  I figgered that old Sly was thinking on going after them Jaspers what was still left alive, and damned if I weren’t thinking the same thing. I weren’t about to let no one get away with doing what they done to me, not if I could help it any. ‘Course, they had more than a two-week head start on us by then, and we didn’t have no idea where they mighta went to, not even what direction they had rid off in whenever they left outa the county seat that day. Even so, I wanted to go after them, and I knowed that old Sly did too. I figgered we’d team up and go together, unless he had any objections to that plan.

  I didn’t figger that I’d need to go out and do what he was a-doing, though. I ain’t never been what you’d call no gunfighter, and I couldn’t see no call in practicing up to get back something what I’d never had in the first place. If you know anything about me at all, you know that facing a man out in the open for a fair gun duel just ain’t my style. If I know a man wants to kill me for real and serious, I’d lots rather sneak up behind his ass with a big club, or lay a-waiting for him along the trail with my rifle ready, or something like that. And them kinda tactics don’t call for no long hours of practice.

  I seen Sly that morning getting close to lunchtime. He come into the Hooch House to go up to his room and clean up and change his clothes before going on over to the White Owl for his lunch, but when he seen me setting there, he come on over to see me.

  “How are you doing, Baijack?” he said.

  “Not as good as you,” I said, “but I’m coming along. I reckon I’ll live all right.”

  “I feel bad about what happened,” he said. “Those men wanted me. You just happened to be standing too close by. I promise you, though, they won’t get away with it. You know, Baijack, I usually go after a man for money. This will be the first time in my life I’ll be going after men out of anger.”

  “What the hell did they want you for anyhow?” I asked him.

  “I killed a brother of theirs,” he said. “It’s been almost a year ago.”

  “So you’ll be a-going
after them?” I said.

  “That’s what I mean to do,” he said.

  “Sly,” I said, “I want to go along with you. Before you answer me one way or the other, I want you to know that I’ll be a-going after them whether you want my company or not.”

  “I’d be pleased to have your company, Baijack,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I said. “You, uh, you mean to hitch up with ole Lillian before we take off?”

  “No,” he said. “I’ve already told her. I don’t think it would be fair to her. The wedding will wait until we get back from taking care of this little chore.”

  I thought, I shoulda knowed that without asking, but I didn’t say nothing more about it. Instead I said, “How’s your shooting coming along?”

  “It’s coming back,” Sly said. “I’ll be ready to ride in a few more days.”

  “Well, by God,” I said, “I’ll be ready to ride with you.”

  “Good,” he said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go get myself ready for lunch.”

  Now, I never did really understand all this gentleman kinda behavior. I never thought about getting ready for lunch. I always figgered if I was hungry, then I was ready, and the only thing to do was to find me some food and set down to eat it. But then, as you already know, I never was no gentleman. Sly was about halfway up the stairs when ole Happy looked up at me and said, “You mean to go after them Jaspers, then.”

  “Hell, yes,” I said. “After what they done to me, I mean to kill their asses. Whichever ones Sly don’t kill first.”

  “You sure you’ll be up to it?” Happy asked me. “I mean, by the time Sly’s ready to ride out, will you be all healed up and have your strength back and ever’thing?”

  “I’ll have enough of it back, Happy,” I said. “It don’t take a hell of a lot of strength to pull a trigger.”

  “Yeah, but a long ride like that can be real tiring,” he said.

  “Don’t worry none about me,” I said. “I’ll manage it just fine.”