The Gunfighter

by Robert J Conley

  About then ole Bonnie come on downstairs. She told Aubrey to bring her some coffee, and she come right on over to set with me and Happy. “You feeling any better this morning, sweet’ums?” she said.

  “I’m getting stronger with each day, honey pot,” I said. “And I tell you what, darlin’. Before this day is over, I mean to take you back upstairs and show you just how much strength I done got back.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Well, after a while I went and showed her all right, but only I weren’t near as good as what I thought I was going to be. Ole Bonnie, she took good keer of me, though, and she never made no complaints. I really got to hand it to her for that. Anyhow, I had just wore my ass out, and I went on back to sleep for a spell. Whenever I woke up, I thought about that. I didn’t have no way of knowing just how soon ole Sly would be ready to hit the trail after them damned Jaspers, but I figgered I’d best not let him know how quick and easy I wore out or else he might not want to have me a-tagging along with him. I took me a little time a-waking up, and then I went on back down the stairs.

  I tell you what, I never knowed before how a shooting-up like that could take it out of you, but I damn sure found out. You see, I hadn’t never been all shot up like that before. I’d been stomped on pretty good, and as you know, I’d been throwed down the stairs, and I’d had my head busted a good many times, but I hadn’t never been shot all to pieces like that. I figgered I was most nearly over the worst of it, though. I could get up and walk around, and I could even romp a bit with ole Bonnie, but I sure as hell did get tired quick and easy.

  Back down in the bar, I had Aubrey fetch me my whiskey and tumbler, and I poured myself a good drink. Bonnie come and set with me. “Did you get all rested up, baby?” she asked me. “Aw, hell, yes, Bonnie,” I told her. “I’m all right. I just got a little tired is all. You seen ole Sly in here?” She told me she hadn’t saw him none, and then I recalled that ole Happy had told me that Sly was a-going out to practice his shooting, and so I figgered that’s what he was likely up to.

  Ole Peester come into the place just about then, and he come over to set with me and Bonnie. He took off his hat real polite-like and smiled, and I wondered what the slickery little bastard was up to. Then he said, “You seem to be coming along nicely, Baijack.” I eyeballed him suspicious like, and I told him, “Yeah, I reckon I’m mending, all right.” I thought about offering him a drink, but then I thought better of it, ‘cause after all, selling drinks was my business, and I couldn’t recall no time that I had gone into his office and he had offered me no free legal services. Aubrey come over and asked him if he wanted a drink, and he went and ordered hisself one, so it all worked out for the best. I made sure I seen him pay for it too. He took a little sissy sip.

  “You know, Baijack,” he said, “I’ve been thinking. It might not be a bad thing at all to have Mister Sly living in our little town.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I said. “What the hell’s changed your mind so drastic-like?”

  “Well, after all,” he said, “he’s a well-known and highly respected shootist, and having him handy to call on in time of distress could be a real fine and handy thing. Why, he could help you out if something came up that you couldn’t handle alone.”

  “I got Happy,” I said.

  “Yes,” he said, “well, I meant, if something came up that you and Happy couldn’t handle, just the two of you.”

  “Yeah,” I said, “well, I s’pose you’re right there, Mayor. Couldn’t hurt nothing having him around.”

  “And if he’s going to marry and settle down here,” the damned ole mayor said, “why, I’m sure he’ll develop a sense of civic responsibility and pride, and he’ll find it in his interest to help maintain order here.”

  “I reckon he might just do that,” I said.

  “Uh, I understand that Mister Sly intends to go after the would-be assassins who shot him and you over at the county seat,” Peester said, lowering his voice.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I seem to have heard a rumor to that effect my own self.”

  “How many of them are there?” Peester asked me.

  “They’s four of the sons of bitches left,” I said.

  “Could it be that you’ll be going along with him?” he said.

  “Could be,” I said.

  “So Mr. Bonapart will be left in charge here?” he said.

  “He’s the only depitty I got,” I said. I lifted my glass and took me a long drink. I was trying to figger out what ole Peester really had on his sneaky-ass little mind. Then I took me out a cigar and fired it up. Peester took hisself another little sissy sip.

  “Well,” Peester said, “I certainly wish you both a great deal of luck in your pursuit of those villains.”

  He left his drink, said good evening, and left on outa there. Bonnie looked at me with her face all kinda wrinkled up “What the hell was that all about?” she said.

  “I ain’t for sure,” I said. “At first I kinda bought what he was saying. You know, that it would be a good thing to have ole Sly a-living here. But then I got to thinking. The little bastard ain’t had no use for me for quite a spell now.”

  “But he’s the one that hired you,” Bonnie said.

  “Hell, yeah,” I said. “I know that. He hired me when this here was a mean-ass town, and I cleaned it up. Now I think he’d just as soon see me go. you know, he never was comfterbul with ole Sly a-being here. No. I think he wanted to make sure that I was a-going with Sly and that we was a-going to be well outnumbered. He’s hoping them Jaspers’ll kill the both of us. That’s what the hell he’s a-hoping.”

  Sly come in then, and I waved him on over. He ordered hisself up a cup of coffee, and Aubrey brung it to him. “You been out a-shooting?” I asked him.

  “Yes,” he said. “I’m not quite up to snuff, but it’s coming back. A few more days, and I think I’ll be ready to ride. How about you, Baijack?”

  “I’ll be ready when you are,” I said. “I’m real anxious to see those bastards again.”

  “Yes,” Sly said. “As am I.”

  “You got any idea whichaway to go whenever we start in to hunting them?” I asked him.

  “No,” he said, “I don’t. I figure we’ll ride over to the county seat and ask around. See if anyone saw them leave town. It’s not much, but we’ll have to start somewhere.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Someone oughta have saw them ride out.”

  “Even so,” Sly said, “once they got out of town, they could have turned in any direction. But I think the thing to do is check the nearest towns first. Even if they just rode through some place, someone there should know about it, and it will give us a direction. It may be slow at first, but we’ll track them down.”

  “We damn sure will,” I said. “If I could just only get myself a half a hour with that one they got over in the county jail, I bet your ass I could beat something outa him. He might know where the hell they mighta gone to.”

  “We could question him,” Sly said. “He’s not likely to tell us anything, but it wouldn’t hurt to try it.”

  “I’d rather beat the crap out of him,” I said, “or else stick a gun barrel in his mouth and halfway down his throat. I’d make him say something. I can promise you that.”

  Sly looked real thoughtful for a few seconds there, and then he said, “You know, Baijack, there just might be a way.”

  “A way to what?” I said.

  “Oh,” he said, “a way for me to distract the sheriff, maybe get him well away from his office and the jail, and give you the time to go in there and do — well, whatever it is you decide to do.”

  He grinned, and I grinned right back at him. It seemed like a damn good idea to me. Right after that, ole Sly excused hisself like the gentleman he was and went on upstairs. I wondered if he was a-needing his rest after being up so much of the day and being out a-practicing with his shooter and all. I kinda hoped that he was. I didn’t really like thinking that he was so damn much tougher than me. Me and
Bonnie set there a-talking and a-drinking, and I was still a-smoking my cigar. She was holding on to my arm the way she liked to do out in public, like as if she was a-showing the whole damn world that I belonged to her, and that was all right with me too. Pretty soon old Happy come in. He seen us and come over to set with us.

  “You feeling all right, Baijack?” he said.

  “Hell, yeah,” I said. “I could rassle a goddamned grizzly bear right now.” I was a-lying to him, of course. “What you doing in here in the middle of the day?”

  “Why, it’s suppertime, Baijack,” he said. “I come to get me something to eat.”

  I guess I hadn’t realized that it was so late in the day. I musta slept longer than what I thought. It come to me that I had oughta start in to keeping a better track of the time and just what the hell I was a-doing each day. I had me a big manhunt coming up, and the man I was a-going to be riding along with sure weren’t no slouch. He was one of the best in the business. A real manhunting son of a bitch. I didn’t want him to be showing me up, and I damn sure didn’t want to be a-slowing him down.

  “Barjack,” Happy said, “is it true that you and Sly are going after them Jaspers?”

  “Hell,” I said, “does ever’one in town know all of my damn business?”

  “Well,” Happy said, “it ain’t a very big town. You know how things gets around.”

  “Yeah,” I said, cutting him off. “We’re going after the bastards.”

  “How you going to know where to look?” he asked me.

  “We’ll track their asses,” I said. I didn’t want to go repeating all the stuff me and ole Sly had said just a little while ago. I just weren’t up to it.

  “Track them, huh?” Happy said.

  Aubrey come over and took Happy’s supper order, and that made me feel like I was hungry too, so me and ole Bonnie, we each ordered us up a steak dinner too, and pretty soon the three of us was eating our supper there together. While we was in the middle of it, Sly come back downstairs. He was all dressed up real fine. He tipped his hat to us as he walked through headed for the front door, and I knowed he was a-going on over to the White Owl to let Miss Lillian fetch up his supper. Bonnie seen me a-looking after him, and the look she give me told me that she thought I was being jealous of ole Lillian, so I tried real hard to change the expression on my face, and just for good measure, I reached around her and give her a big hug, and then I give her a peck on the cheek, right there in front of ever’one in the whole damn place. I guess it worked, ‘cause she never said nothing about me and Lillian.

  Well, the days kept on a-going by, and I got a little stronger each day and a little more anxious to get after them bastards what had shot me and ole Sly up so bad. I even had me a couple of good romps with ole Bonnie, ‘bout as good as ever. Sly, he kept on a-shooting and getting hisself ready to go, and then final one day, it was a Wednesday, I think, ole Sly come around to me, and he said, “Do you feel ready to head out?” I said, “Hell, yes. When you want to go?” He said we’d ought to take a couple days to get our stuff together, and he was a-thinking that we’d head out early on Friday morning. I agreed, and I commenced to getting myself ready to go.

  I had me a good horse what hadn’t been doing nothing lately but eating and resting, and I figgered he’d be good for a long hard ride. Ole Sly, he had his own slick, black horse what he had come into town on. It was well rested and fed. I packed me a change of clothes. I didn’t think I’d need no more than that, and I went over to my marshaling office and picked me out a good Winchester rifle and a shotgun, and I packed in plenty of ammunition for them two guns and for my ole Merwin and Hulbert Company revolver what I always wore.

  I give ole Happy all kinds of instructions ’bout what to do and what not to do while I was gone, and I had Aubrey start in right away a-fixing and packing all kinds of food what would keep on the trail. I even picked up a couple extry canteens for hauling water. I meant to be well prepared for this here trip. There weren’t no way of knowing how long we was going to be out a-looking for them Jaspers, and I didn’t have no intention of having to abandon their trail’cause I run out of supplies.

  Me and ole Sly kept in touch concerning our readiness, and I told him not to worry about the food and water and such. I had the means of taking keer of that part, and he didn’t need to do nothing along them lines. I made sure that Aubrey packed in the stuff I’d need for cooking along the way and a pot for making coffee, and then I had him stash me in a half-dozen bottles of my good booze. I knowed I would be a-needing that. Toward evening on Thursday, I took Sly into the back room at the Hooch House and showed him what all I had ready to go, and me and him agreed that we had ought to get us a packhorse to load ever’thing on. I told Aubrey to take keer of that little chore.

  I’d got so busy that I hadn’t noticed, but since I was a-fixing to ride out the next morning, I went to looking for ole Happy, and he weren’t nowhere to be found. I even asked around about him, and I couldn’t find no one what had saw him since Wednesday. I went down to the stable to check on his horse, and it was gone.

  “Goddamn it,” I said. “The weaselly little runt has gone and did it again. He’s ran out on me in my hour of need. Next time I see that little son of a bitch, I’ll just go on ahead and kill him. That’s what I’ll do.” I went on out into the main big room and had Aubrey fetch me a drink, and just as I set down, here come ole Happy. He come right at me. I thought about pulling my revolver and just doing what I said, but I didn’t want to kill him dead without him a-knowing how come I was doing it, so I waited for him to come on close, and I just stared hard at him and let him set down. He leaned on over towards me.

  “They headed out southwest,” he said.

  “What?” I said.

  “Them Jaspers,” he said. “Whenever they left outta the county seat, they headed southwest. I found that out, and then I sent a wire from the county seat down to Logan-ville, ‘cause, you know, that’s the first town they’d come into going in that direction, and the sheriff down there wired me back that, sure enough, they had rid through there. That’s as far as I was able to track them thataway, but they headed southwest, and they went through Loganville. I just thought I’d try to save you a little time and travel if I could.”

  Well, I sure as hell felt guilty that I had been a-thinking about killing ole Happy for running out on me, and then come to find out that he hadn’t never run out on me after all. The little bastard had went and rid over to the county seat and asked around and found out which way them Jaspers had gone right after they shot us up. And he had went even farther than that. He had went and sent that there wire and tracked their ass all the way to Loganville. Well, sure as hell, that was going to save me and ole Sly some time, ‘cause the county seat was a few miles north of Asininity. We woulda rid up there, took some time in finding out what ole Happy had done found out for us, then we’d have had to head back southwest.

  Well, I never said nothing about what all I was a-thinking. Instead I just shoved my bottle at ole Happy and said, “Have a drink on me, Happy.” He knowed I was thanking him real special, ‘cause I hardly ever bought him a drink. I made him pay his own bills there in the Hooch House. And I never give no one a drink outa my own special bottle. Well, almost never. His face kinda lit up there, whilst Aubrey fetched him over a glass. Yeah, he knowed how I felt about what he had did for me.

  Later on in the evening, me and ole Bonnie went on upstairs to her room together, and we went and said our fond farewells for about half the night, and I found out for sure then that I was back up to snuff. I give her a hell of a good time, and she give the same and more right back to me. I thought again about how things was working out all around, and I knowed that ole Bonnie was the right and proper woman for me. I got to thinking about how I musta been crazy to get my ass hitched up with Lillian. I guess that I had just been kinda-like struck by lightning whenever I first seen her back then. Her being skinny like she was and all dressed up so fine and talking like a lady
and ever’thing. She got to me, and I commenced to acting the fool over her. I’m just lucky that ole Bonnie didn’t go on ahead and kill my ass back then. And now ever’thing was working out just fine and getting back to how it had used to be.

  Then another thought come into my damn silly head. Here I was a-feeling so good about how things was working out so well in spite of all my previous foolishness, and I was a-fixing to light out first thing in the morning on the trail of four of the meanest sons of bitches what was loose out in that part of the country. Wouldn’t it be stupid, I asked myself, just when things was a-looking so good, for me to ride out and get my ass blowed away for real? I thought about changing my mind about the whole deal and just letting ole Sly ride on after them Jaspers by his own self. He was a real professional killer. Likely he’d get all four of them bastards.

  But when it come right down to it, I knowed that I couldn’t do that. There was four of them and just one of him. If I let him go out by hisself, and they was to kill him, I wouldn’t never forgive myself. And there was the fact that they had shot me up so bad. I wanted to kill at least some of them my own self, personal. I knowed it wouldn’t never be enough to just only find out secondhand that someone else had kilt them. I had to have me a hand in it. Besides, I had faced as bad as them before and lived to tell about it.

  Well, I tried to put all them kinds of thoughts outa my head and get back to concentrating on my sweet farewells to the massive flesh of my Bonnie, and I reckoned ole Sly had done said his proper and polite gentlemanly bye-byes to ole Lillian. I didn’t nose into that none. Anyhow, after some more good romping and playing, me and ole Bonnie final went on to sleep.

  *

  Me and ole Sly met before sunup down in the main room of the Hooch House, and we commenced packing our one horse and saddling up the other two. I knowed I wouldn’t see Bonnie again till it was all over and I come back to town. If I had dared to wake her up just only to say so long, hell, she’d likely sent me flying again. Lillian was up, though. Whenever we was final all mounted up and heading out of town, ole Sly excused hisself for a minute, and I watched him ride over to the house what had used to be my house, and there was ole Lillian a-standing on the front porch a-waiting. He rid over there and got down outa the saddle and give her a real fond embrace, and then he mounted up again and come on back over to join me. We headed on out.