Promise Me Forever (Sweet Beginnings Book 3)

by Maggie Dallen

  He started to laugh because there was some truth to it. Dax and Cole were like night and day and, while they loved each other, they also drove each other nuts. But Alice wasn’t done.

  “And then there’s me.” Her gaze clashed with his and the laughter died in his throat. “If home for you means that someone needs you, then I have always been your home, James, because I can’t remember a time when I haven’t needed you.” Her eyes grew shiny and her lips were soft and full. “I will always need you, James. Always.”

  Something inside of him ripped open at the sincerity in her gaze, at the earnest ferocity in her expression.

  For the first time in his life, something opened up. Or maybe something from his past finally closed. Whatever it was, something deep inside him seemed to shift, and his whole world seemed to alter with a hitch.

  He couldn’t say what happened inside of him, only that for the first time since he could remember, he understood what it meant to have a home, and her words were a balm for a wound he’d never even known he’d been suffering.

  She was right. He did have a home. And he had love.

  He always had.

  Her hands came to his cheeks and held his face steady as her gaze met his evenly. “You’ll always be my rock, James. And I’ll always be your home. You got that?”

  He tried to nod. He meant to speak. But his head was spinning with this new perspective.

  This new certainty.

  For so many years he’d felt sorry for himself for not having a family, for being the outsider looking in, and for the first time in far too long he saw all that he’d been given. He might have missed out on having the perfect family but he’d been blessed with more love in his life than he ever could have imagined thanks to the Decklands.

  And right now he could see it. He could feel it.

  All thanks to Alice.

  Her hands dropped from his face to his shoulders. She started to sit back, but he caught her by her waist, holding her still.

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “What are you doing?”

  What was he doing?

  He wasn’t sure. His heart was thumping too loudly, his blood rushing through his veins like liquid fire.

  The air between them seemed to thicken and he watched her eyes darken, her gaze drop. He pulled her close and she didn’t resist, her arms circling his neck as he tugged her into his lap and his lips claimed hers in a kiss that felt like a lifeline.

  The world was spinning around them but here, in this embrace, all that mattered was her, in his arms. Her lips were warm and inviting as she opened for him, her arms tugging him even closer as he wrapped himself around her.

  His lips moved over hers hungrily as heat drove away reason and he tried to show her just how much her words had meant to him.

  How much she meant to him.

  He’d probably always known it, but right now there was no denying it. To him, she was everything.

  Chapter Eleven

  Alice was drowning in his kiss.

  Her senses were on overload as a lifetime of daydreaming about this exact kiss caught up with reality.

  No, her daydreams were shattered by reality.

  Not even in her wildest fantasies had she believed it would be like this.

  All consuming. Passionate.

  On fire.

  She was on fire. That was the only explanation for the way her body seemed to spark at his every touch. It was why her heart was racing too quickly and her breath was coming in short bursts when they came up for air.

  It was why she forgot for a little while there where she was and why.

  A ding from her phone was what finally cut through the magical haze of his kiss. They both stilled at once as the chirping sound cut through the sound of the breeze and the crashing waves and their frantic heartbeats.

  She pulled back with a start.

  What had she just done?

  Her heart seemed to be pounding in her ears as panic set in. What had she done...again?

  But wait. He had started this kiss. Hadn’t he? She couldn’t remember. It had happened so quickly, it had felt so right. But what if she’d been wrong?

  Again?

  She scrambled backwards off his lap as he tried to steady her. Confusion and panic made her want to run away.

  Another buzzing sound from her phone was a sweet relief. It gave her something to do as she ignored James’s voice saying her name in that low, gruff way of his.

  He wanted to talk.

  She wasn’t ready to talk.

  She wouldn’t be until she could get her head on straight and think for a minute. She turned on her phone.

  It was Katy. She didn’t even pause before calling her soon-to-be sister-in-law back. “What is it?” she asked. “Is there any news on Hannah?”

  If Katy noticed how breathless she sounded, she didn’t let on. “You can call off the manhunt, Alice. We found Hannah.”

  Relief rushed through her and she shared a look with James, who was watching her closely. She put the phone on speaker between them.

  “You found her? That’s great news,” Alice said.

  Katy’s voice took on a funny note like she was trying not to laugh. “Actually, she found us.”

  Alice met James’s quizzical stare with a frown. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, she’s here, Alice. She came to Twilight to avoid the press who she knew would be dying to talk to her once the story leaked about Eduardo’s affair.”

  Alice clapped a hand over her mouth. “Wait, so...Hannah is in Lulu?”

  “Yeah.” They heard Katy moving around, most likely heading to a different room as she lowered her voice. “I have her staying in your old room at the moment, but the thing is...we’re not really equipped for this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, people will find out where she is eventually and Twilight doesn’t have the sort of security we’ll need to make sure she has her privacy. Plus, there will be more people coming. I just know her agent and manager will insist on being here, and then there’s her PR people and—”

  “Her entourage,” Alice finished. “I get it.”

  “I’ll head back right away,” James said. “I can help Dax and Cole with the security. I know some local guys we can recruit.”

  Alice nodded, that surreal, heady kiss already feeling like a dream as she focused on logistics. “I’ll head back, too. I can help with the housing arrangements for anyone who needs to stay at the ranch.”

  Katy let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, you guys. I didn’t want you to feel like you have to turn right back around—”

  “It’s no problem,” James said,

  Alice glanced up at him. Of course it was no problem for him. He’d been planning on going back. He probably couldn’t wait to get back there, never mind the fact that she wouldn’t be there for long.

  As if reading her mind, Katy added, “There’s really no big rush. It will be a little while before anyone tracks her here. No one even knows she’s left town yet, from what I can tell. And besides, Alice there are some loose ends I’d love for you to see to before you head out of there.”

  “But there’s also a corporate retreat booked for next week,” Alice reminded her friend.

  Katy muttered something under her breath. “You’re right. I forgot all about that.”

  It was rare to hear the dignified always bustling Katy sound so frazzled and Alice leapt to reassure her. “I’ll be back in time to manage the retreat. I’ll make sure everything is squared away here and then I’ll be back.”

  “Okay.” Katy’s sigh was filled with relief, but then she added. “But not for long, though. I’ll need you back in LA soon enough.”

  Alice smiled even though Katy couldn’t see her...even though the smile felt strained. “I’ll look forward to getting back here, but first let’s handle this crisis, shall we?”

  She and Katy hashed out a plan of attack as she and James gathered up their belongings and headed bac
k to the truck. There was too much to do to sit around and soak up the sun.

  And much as Alice didn’t want to admit it, she was kind of relieved to have something else to focus on.

  Even when her call with Katy ended, she steered the conversation with James toward logistics about the security at the ranch and how they could accommodate the retreat people in addition to Hannah’s entourage.

  She did such a great job of keeping herself distracted that the tension didn’t descend until they were back at Katy’s apartment.

  The post-kiss fallout.

  The awkward silence that she’d been hoping to avoid.

  Preferably forever.

  James pulled out the steaks they’d bought the day before. “I’ll get the grill going if you’re hungry.”

  She nodded. They never did have that little picnic she’d packed and not only was she hungry, she was happy to have something else to occupy her hands and her mind. She threw herself into making the side dishes and salad while he worked at the grill.

  She ought to just confront him, she told herself as she tossed the salad. She was a strong, grown woman with a good head on her shoulders. There was no reason she shouldn’t just go out there and face him and say, “James, what did that kiss mean, exactly?”

  She worked herself up to it three separate times, but each time they ran into one another, by the grill or in the kitchen or while setting the table….

  She couldn’t do it.

  Her lips refused to work. Her tongue was plastered to the roof of her mouth. All of her strong, grown woman beliefs went flying out the window because right now, in the aftermath of that life-altering kiss...she wasn’t a grown woman. She was that stupid girl from five years ago. The one who’d thought she was being brave by confronting him head-on about the tension she’d felt building all summer.

  She hadn’t been brave, just brazen.

  That hadn’t been maturity at work, just a childish, naive notion of how things worked between a man and woman.

  And he’d made it clear as day that he didn’t see her that way. That he would never see her that way.

  So what, now one kiss and you think all of that has changed?

  And if his feelings had changed...shouldn’t he be the one to tell her?

  After all, she’d already declared herself. And yes, she had moved on, but now…

  She hadn’t really.

  She hadn’t at all.

  Defeat had her keeping her head down as he moved past her to grab something from the fridge.

  She hadn’t moved on. If that kiss had revealed anything, it was that. She could tell herself she was over him, that all she needed was space, that time and distance would do the trick...but it would be a lie.

  Because five years had passed, five years in which she’d kept her distance and held her breath when he hugged her and kept things strictly friendly and…. She was still in love with him.

  Sickeningly, pathetically, heartbreakingly in love.

  “Alice?”

  She whipped around at the sound of her name, and by the expectant look on James’s face she had to assume that she’d missed whatever else it was he’d said before her name.

  “Um, yes?”

  He gestured to the table on the patio that he’d finished setting while she’d been inside angsting. The food was all out and ready for them. “You ready to eat?”

  “Oh. Yeah. Yup. Sure thing.” She agreed too quickly and way too enthusiastically.

  Geez, just try and act cool for once in your life.

  She sank into her seat with a crushing wave of fear. How was she supposed to keep food down when her belly was roiling like she was in a dinghy in a storm?

  She picked up her fork. To confront him or not to confront him, that was the question.

  She didn’t want to face another rejection. The thought alone made her queasy. But then again, she didn’t have it in her to live in a state of not knowing.

  Not when her heart was so thoroughly his to command.

  She stared down at the steak unseeingly as he quietly dug into his.

  That was the problem, wasn’t it? If he didn’t feel the same, it would crush her once and for all. There was no way she could recover from another brutal rejection. She couldn’t put herself out there again, she just couldn’t.

  Not without knowing how he felt first.

  They were halfway through their silent, tense meal when James finally broke the quiet with a sigh that held more than a little regret. He set his knife down and leaned back, his gaze filled with such reluctance she just knew what was coming.

  Don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this.

  The words became a mantra. A prayer. Please don’t tell me again that this could never be.

  It was the truth and she knew it, but she couldn’t hear it again. Not if they stood any chance of being friends.

  And they had to stay friends because she’d meant every word she’d said on the beach.

  She needed James Henley in her life—she always had and she always would.

  “Al…” His use of her old childhood nickname hit her like a punch in the gut.

  She held her breath, her hands clenching around her silverware.

  He tipped his head down a bit, his gaze fixed on hers, so serious and so...grim.

  Like he just knew he was about to rip her heart to shreds.

  “Al,” he said again. “We need to talk.”

  We need to talk. When had those words ever led to anything good?

  Never.

  The chair scraped against the tiled patio floor as she hurriedly came to stand. “No!”

  She swallowed as his eyes widened. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. “I mean...no. We don’t need to talk.”

  His brows drew together in concern.

  “There’s nothing to talk about, really.” She forced a smile that felt more like a grimace. “It was just a moment. Emotions were running high and just… Forget about it.”

  “Forget about it,” he repeated slowly. “You want me to forget that kiss?”

  His voice was low and...impossible to read. His narrowed eyes were dark and serious.

  She nodded quickly. “Yeah. Just forget it happened. That’s what I plan to do.”

  He stared at her for a long, impossibly tense moment before he set down his napkin as if it was a white flag of surrender. “Okay.”

  She nodded quickly, her heart aching. No...her heart breaking. “Okay.”

  Chapter Twelve

  James made the drive back in record time.

  Of course, this time he didn’t spend a torturous sleepless night in a motel room. He barely even stopped at all on the long trip home, only pausing his travel when he needed to gas up and grabbing a quick snack while he was at it.

  He grabbed a quick lunch at Claire’s bar on the way back into town. He hadn’t actually expected Cole’s wife to be working here—she rarely did these days—but it was her smiling face that greeted him as he walked into the dark bar.

  “James! Back already?” Her voice was light and teasing, but her smile faded fast when he sank into one of the booths by the bar. “Is everything all right?”

  “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He scrubbed a hand over his hair which was matted from his cowboy hat.

  Of course he was fine. He’d come as close as he’d ever come to spilling his heart out to the woman he loved only to have her tell him to forget about it. So yeah. He was great. Just great.

  Claire glanced toward the door like she was expecting someone. “Did Alice drive back with you? I mean I assume you hustled back here because of the…” She dropped her voice to a stage whisper. “The celebrity situation.”

  He laughed despite the cloying heartache that had chased him all the way home. “Is that what we’re calling it?”

  She winked. “That’s what I’m calling it. But don’t worry, the cat’s still in the bag around these parts.”

  He nodded. “Glad to hear it.” Twilight wasn’t in any way
ready to handle relentless paparazzi or hounding news reporters.

  “So?” Brows arched high, Claire looked to the door expectantly. “Where’s my favorite Deckland sister?”

  His smile felt tight. “She stayed behind.”

  Claire’s brows dropped along with her smile. “Oh, but I thought Katy said she’d be back for a little while to help with the retreat and—”

  “Yeah, she will,” he said. “She just, uh… She just preferred to fly back rather than drive with me. The airport strike ended so she found a good deal.”

  Claire stared at him for a long moment. “I see.”

  He toyed with the menu beneath her all-seeing gaze. He suspected maybe she did see. Maybe she understood perfectly. Maybe he was the only one that couldn’t get it through his thick brain that his chance was gone.

  Five years ago he’d had her there, in his arms, and he’d turned her away.

  For a reason.

  But that reason was hard to remember now. All his memory was capable of recalling these past two days as he drove was how it felt to kiss her. To hold her in his arms.

  Maybe he ought to have been grateful that she’d interrupted him the other night when he’d tried to talk about that kiss. He still wasn’t certain what he’d planned to say.

  It wasn’t as though one kiss had changed anything.

  It just changed everything.

  He looked down at the table and cleared his throat. “She’ll be home Wednesday.”

  “Good, good. That’s good,” Claire mumbled. She took his order before rushing it to the kitchen.

  He should have gone straight home, but truth be told, he was dreading this particular homecoming. He loved the ranch, loved his work there, loved Dax and Cole and their significant others…

  But it wouldn’t be the same without Alice.

  And yeah, she would be home in a couple of days, but even then it wouldn’t last. She’d go back to California again, and this time without him. This time, it would likely be for good.

  Every time he thought of losing her for good it felt like he was dying. He wasn’t. Obviously. But it felt like that, like something was withering to dust, rotting away inside him.