Refuge

by Karen Lynch

  He let out a humorless laugh. “You’re right; I don’t care.”

  “Then I guess we don’t have anything else to say to each other.” I took a deep tremulous breath and inserted the key into the door lock.

  “What are you doing?”

  I opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind me with a loud click that echoed down the empty hallway. Dropping the keys on the floor, I faced the vampire that watched me warily. Be strong and remember you’re doing this for Nate. You owe him this.

  “Like you said, I’m a vampire killer,” I said emotionlessly.

  “And you are going to kill your own uncle?” He asked with a sneer, but there was less confidence in his voice now.

  The rage that had been simmering inside me bubbled to the surface. “You aren’t my uncle. You’re the demon who stole his body.”

  “Everything that was your uncle is in me. Do you really want to destroy all that is left of him?”

  I clenched my fists and took a step closer. “You might have his memories and his face, but you don’t have his soul. There is nothing left of him in you.” As soon as I said the words, I knew they were true. Even after I’d seen him with fangs bared, even as I stood outside his cell, a tiny part of me believed, or hoped, that Nate was not truly gone forever. Cold acceptance settled over me.

  “What are you going to do? Are you really going to put a blade through my heart, your uncle’s heart?” he asked, still trying to make me believe he was Nate.

  “It’s not Nate’s heart anymore,” I replied flatly walking toward him. “And I don’t need a knife.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You have Nate’s memories, so you know what I am. Do you know why demons are so afraid of the Fae?”

  Fear crept into his eyes for the first time and his Adam’s apple bobbed.

  “I’m not just a vampire killer; I’m a one-of-a-kind demon slayer. You took Nate from me, so you have the honor of being my first kill. Well, not my first kill, but the first like this.”

  His eyes bulged as electricity crackled in the air around me.

  “First, I’m going to take care of you. Then, I’m going to leave here and hunt down your maker and your precious Master, and I’m going to kill every blood sucker that gets in my way.”

  Muffled shouts from the outer room drew my attention from the vampire. It sounded like Ben had awakened and called in reinforcements. If I was going to finish this, I had to do it now.

  I turned back to the vampire. “Nate, wherever you are, please forgive me for not keeping you safe.” Despite my resolve, tears spilled down my cheeks as I called forth my power.

  “Sara, no!” Tristan yelled through the window in the door. “Whatever you’re planning to do, you have to stop.”

  My breath caught but I did not look at him. “I’m going to kill a vampire.”

  Tristan lowered his voice. “Listen to me, Sara; you don’t want to do this. Killing a vampire is one thing, but if you kill Nate, it will haunt you forever.”

  My hair crackled with static and lifted from my shoulders as the power surrounding me grew. “He’s not Nate. He’s a monster.”

  “Yes, he is, but you will see only Nate’s face when you remember this. Nate would not want that for you.”

  “I – ”

  “Sara, open the door.”

  I closed my eyes at the sound of Nikolas’s deep voice. Something tugged at my chest, and a part of me wanted to run to him, to let him wrap his arms around me and chase away the evil in my life. But a larger part of me knew I would never find my own strength if I hid behind his.

  My hands tingled and began to glow from the power coursing through them. I could see the light reflected in the vampire’s terrified eyes as he struggled violently in his bonds. Behind me I heard running feet and then the distinct sound of a key being fitted into the lock on the cell door.

  The vampire screamed when my hands touched his chest, and he began to writhe convulsively, even though I hadn’t yet released the force of my power. Just being touched by Fae magic was unbearable to him. I stared at him for several seconds as I gathered more power and prepared to strike.

  The door swung open, and I felt the air shift as someone moved toward me with incredible speed. No!

  I released my power and felt the vampire jerk as he let out a strangled shriek. The smell of scorched flesh filled my nose, and I heard a thump and a curse somewhere behind me. The vampire hung limply in his chains, but I knew he was still alive because we were connected by the power flowing between us. My mind reeled from the knowledge that I was inside a vampire. I was overcome by the need to see the vamhir demon before I destroyed it, to look upon the thing that had turned a wonderful man into a monster.

  Unlike Mori demons that live in the brain, vamhir demons attach themselves to the heart of their victims. My power moved through organs that looked healthy and normal until it found the misshapen lump that barely resembled a human heart. Most of the heart was encased in a thick translucent white membrane that resembled a jellyfish, with tendrils that were fused to the spine and brain stem. I prodded the membrane, and it trembled, making the heart stutter.

  This was the powerful vamhir demon? For all a vampire’s power and strength, the demon was nothing more than a gelatinous parasite that needed a host to survive. Seeing this one weakened and in its natural form took away the mystery and dissolved some of my fear of vampires. It didn’t dampen the pain of losing Nate, but it gave me a deeper understanding of my enemy and showed me the demon’s true weakness.

  The demon rippled, and I felt the vampire stir. I jabbed at it, and it stilled again. Enough studying it. It was time to end this. I pushed forward until I surrounded the demon without touching it. It quivered as if it knew what I planned to do. My soul wept for the heart that would soon no longer beat, but I felt no empathy or mercy for the creature I was about to destroy.

  I love you, Nate, I said silently as my power enveloped the demon.

  The demon let out an unearthly scream, twisting and pushing desperately against my hold. I opened myself further and more power poured out of the well deep inside me until it felt like lightning flowed through my veins. In a disconnected part of my mind, I knew I was tapping into a force I had never touched before, and I felt a tiny brush of fear mixed with wild exhilaration. I had never felt so alive or aware of the world around me. I could hear people breathing behind me and a mouse scratching behind the walls. I could feel the living earth beneath the thick stone floor. I smelled the droplets of water in the damp air of the cell and the stench of dead flesh that clung to the vampire. And inside the vampire, I saw life . . . and death.

  Alien words filled my head, and I heard a hideous voice that made me want to grab my ears and scream. Something clicked in my mind, like a door opening, and I realized I was hearing the demon’s thoughts and memories. . . . good strong body . . . so thirsty . . . but I don’t want to die . . . yes, my maker . . . pain . . . so much pain . . .

  As soon as it had come, the demon’s voice faded away and images began to flood my mind so fast they were a blur of color. I reached out and snatched one and stared in confusion at the face of a little girl, no older than two or three. I grabbed another and saw the same little girl, a few years older with chestnut curls and happy green eyes. It’s me, I thought in wonder, reaching for another image then another.

  Me sitting on a chair in a white hospital room, my eyes dark and terrified.

  Me curled up in a small bed, clenching a teddy bear.

  Me grinning as I cut the cake at my tenth birthday party with Roland and Peter.

  Me pulling a gift from beneath the Christmas tree.

  Me covered in chocolate batter the first time I tried to make Nate a birthday cake.

  Me holding the ragged white cat I rescued when I was fourteen.

  Me standing in the doorway, wearing a pale yellow Faerie dress.

  They were all Nate’s memories of me, of my life with him, and each one of them g
lowed with a father’s love for his child. I’d spent my life missing my dad, and all along Nate had thought of me as a daughter. It filled me with bittersweet joy to realize the depth of his love after he was gone.

  More of Nate’s memories, dark and terrifying, flooded my mind. I saw an exotic red-haired woman in a revealing black dress. Ava Bryant, she said in a sultry voice. The next instant, her face twisted and fangs sprouted from her mouth as she struck. I heard Nate moaning in pain and saying, I’ll never tell you where she is. The memories became hazy after that, and I knew it was during his transition. The last coherent thought he had before the vamhir demon possessed him completely was how glad he was that I would not be alone.

  The images and voices faded away into a gray mist and it was just me and the demon again. The demon looked darker and harder with small cracks forming in its surface, and the heart beat in a weak irregular rhythm. The heart that had once held so much love for me. I would not let it suffer any longer.

  It was love, not anger, that filled me as power exploded from me in a white flash so brilliant it blinded me through my closed eyelids. I felt the vampire’s death throes, and I knew the instant the demon shattered into nothingness and the heart stopped beating forever. A wail of grief welled up from deep inside me, and I heard a voice from my own memory. Those who hunt you will ultimately give you the power to become the thing they fear the most.

  * * *

  Far above me, a pinpoint of light shone like a beacon, and I swam through the murky darkness toward it. My arms and legs were heavy, threatening to drag me back down. It would be so easy to just drift in the warm darkness, but the light called to me. I pushed forward with every ounce of willpower until the light grew brighter and I heard muffled sounds: voices, beeping, music. Wait. Was that . . . Carly Simon?

  “It’s been two damn days. Why hasn’t she woken up?”

  “Physically, there is nothing wrong with her,” a woman said. “All I can guess is that her mind needs to heal from the trauma she suffered and she will wake when she is ready.”

  “You guess?”

  “Nikolas, calm down. There is nothing to be gained from yelling at the healers. None of us has seen anything like this before.”

  “Dude, I wouldn’t want to wake up either with you shouting like that.”

  Was that Roland?

  “I think I just saw her eyes move!”

  And Peter?

  A hand touched my shoulder. “Sara, it’s Roland. Can you hear me?”

  I tried to move my hand, but it was made of lead. I wanted to grind my teeth in frustration, but I couldn’t do that either.

  “There! Her lips moved. See, Pete, I told you the music was a good idea.”

  I heard people moving around and then warmth encased my hand. “Sara? It’s time to wake up, moy malen’kiy voin.”

  “I’m trying, damn it!” I wanted to say, but no words would come forth.

  “Ah, is our beauty still sleeping?” asked a new voice. “Perhaps a kiss from her prince is all she needs.”

  “This is no time for your humor, Desmund.” Nikolas’s voice was low and harsh, but his hold on my hand was gentle. Beneath his hard demeanor, I sensed worry and fear. Nikolas, afraid? Impossible.

  “On the contrary, laughter is just what she needs. It is far too gloomy in here . . . and what is that awful noise?”

  “Hey, she likes this music,” Roland retorted defensively.

  “If you gentlemen don’t keep it down, you are all going to have to leave,” the healer interjected with calm authority.

  Voices rose in argument, and the room got even noisier. The sounds grated on my ears.

  “Stop it,” I yelled, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. It was enough to make the room go silent. Forcing my eyes open, I saw an unshaven face and a pair of shadowed gray eyes. “Hi.”

  Nikolas’s hand squeezed mine, and his lips curved into a smile that plucked at an invisible string attached to my heart. “Hi, yourself.”

  “What’s going on? Why is everyone in my room?” I coughed the last word and wondered why my mouth and throat were so parched.

  “Here.” He placed a hand behind my head to support it and put a glass of water to my lips. I took a long, greedy drink before pushing the glass away.

  Someone moved to the other side of the narrow bed, and it took me a second to realize it wasn’t my bed at all, but a hospital bed. Why was I in the medical ward? I struggled to remember what could have put me here, but the edges of my mind were shrouded in dense fog.

  “Hey, how are you feeling?” Roland asked, his blue eyes cautious. “You scared the crap out of us.”

  “Roland?” I thought I had been dreaming when I heard his and Peter’s voices. “What are you doing here?”

  His eyes flicked to Nikolas then back to me. “You don’t remember?”

  “No, I . . .” Images began to emerge from the shadows: Thanksgiving dinner, a white van, Nate in his wheelchair, Nate standing, Nate chained to a wall . . . I covered my face with my hands as it all came back to me with merciless clarity. “Oh God, I killed Nate.” My body shook, and I could not get enough air into my lungs. Nikolas said something, but I all I could hear were the screams of the vamhir demon and the beating of Nate’s heart before it went silent. Arms encircled me and I turned toward Nikolas, curling against him as he murmured in my ear. It took several minutes for his repeated words to penetrate the grief choking me. I jerked away and stared at him in confusion.

  “What did you say?”

  Nikolas wore the trace of a smile. “Nate is alive.”

  I moved my head slowly from side to side. “That’s not possible. I killed him. I felt him die.”

  “You killed the vampire.” Tristan walked over to the bed, wonder shining in his eyes. “We have no idea what you did in that room, but Nate is alive.”

  “You’re not making any sense. How can the vampire be alive if I killed him?”

  “Sara, the vampire is not alive. Nate is,” Nikolas said slowly. “Nate is human again.”

  Chapter 22

  WHAT?” I LOOKED from Nikolas to Tristan to Roland, and they all nodded at me in turn. Disbelief flooded me, followed by a spark of hope. “Human? He’s human . . . and alive?”

  “He smells human to us,” Peter said from behind Roland.

  I gripped Roland’s arm because he was closest. “You’ve seen him?”

  “Ow. Demon strength, remember.” He rubbed his arm. “We’ve seen him a few times. And you should know that he – ”

  “Where is he? I want to see him.” I pushed aside the blanket and sat up. Dizziness assailed me, and I would have toppled out of bed if Nikolas had not been there to catch me.

  “Hold on. You’re too weak to go anywhere.” He held me with gentle firmness. I struggled against him, but it was no use.

  “Let me go! I have to see Nate.” Twice, I’d thought I lost Nate; first when he’d arrived as a vampire and then when I killed him – or believed I had. And now to find out he was miraculously alive . . . “Let go of me, Nikolas, or I swear I’ll never speak to you again.” They were harsh words and I didn’t mean them, but I was too upset to take them back.

  “You never did like to be told what to do.”

  My head whipped in the direction of the door, but my view was blocked by Tristan. It didn’t matter because I’d know that voice anywhere. “Nate?” I said in a small voice.

  Tristan moved aside, and I watched breathlessly as Nate approached the bed. He wore a smile that warmed his familiar green eyes, and all traces of malice were gone from his face. Nikolas stepped back to let Nate take his place beside the bed. Nate laid a hand over mine, and I saw tears sparkling in his eyes. “Hey, kiddo.”

  I reached blindly for him. He wrapped me in strong arms, and we clung to each other like we were each afraid the other would disappear if we let go. “You’re really here,” I cried into his shirt. “I thought I lost you.”

  “I thought I lost you, too.”

  “Ho
w is this – ?” The words caught in my throat as I suddenly became aware of what I was seeing. “Nate, you’re walking!”

  His laugh melted the last of the ice that had filled my chest the moment he’d stood up from his wheelchair. “Tristan says my spine was healed when the vampire demon possessed me. And then you killed the demon.”

  I fell back against the pillow and rubbed my temple. “I don’t understand any of this.”

  “What do you remember?” Tristan asked.

  The healer spoke for the first time since I woke up. “Sara has been unconscious for two days, and this is obviously overtaxing her. Perhaps we should let her rest before – ”

  “No. I’ve been asleep long enough.” I tried to sit up again, and Roland hit a lever to raise the head of the bed to a sitting position. Once I was comfortable with an extra pillow behind me, I tugged on Nate’s hand until he sat beside me. I didn’t think I would ever be able to let him out of my sight again.

  When I looked away from him, I saw that Tristan, Roland, and Peter had pulled up chairs for themselves and Nikolas stood near the head of the bed. The healer left, and I noticed the lone figure standing quietly by the window.

  “Desmund? I thought you hated coming downstairs.”

  Pushing away from the wall, he sauntered over, one corner of his mouth lifted in a haughty smirk. “Well, they would not accommodate me by moving you upstairs, so I was forced to spend time in this depressing ward.” He picked up my hand and put it to his lips. “Welcome back, little one. And if you worry us like that again, I will lock you up myself for the next fifty years.”

  “Get in line,” Nikolas muttered.

  Great, all I needed was another male in my life who thought he knew what was best for me. I didn’t know whether to scowl at the pair of them or be amazed that they were in agreement on something. Unfortunately, with my penchant for attracting trouble, I’d probably see how serious their threats were sooner rather than later.