Complete Works of Terence

by Terence

  Sim. Nay, so I intend, and so I wish it to be, Chremes; and I would not ask it of you, did not the occasion itself require it.

  Chrem. What is the matter?

  Sim. There is a quarrel between Glycerium and my son.

  Chrem. (ironically) I hear you.

  Sim. So much so, that I’m in hopes they may be separated.

  Chrem. Nonsense!

  Sim. It really is so.

  Chrem. After this fashion, i’faith, I tell you, “the quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love.”

  Sim. Well — this I beg of you, that we may prevent it. While an opportunity offers, and while his passion is cooled by affronts, before the wiles of these women and their tears, craftily feigned, bring back his love-sick mind to compassion, let us give him a wife. I trust, Chremes, that, when attached by intimacy and a respectable marriage, he will easily extricate himself from these evils.

  Chrem. So it appears to you; but I do not think that either he can possibly hold to her with constancy, or that I can put up with it if he does not.

  Sim. How then can you be sure of that, unless you make the experiment?

  Chrem. But for that experiment to be made upon a daughter is a serious thing ——

  Sim. Why look, all the inconvenience in fine amounts to this — possibly, which may the Gods forfend, a separation may take place. But if he is reformed, see how many are the advantages: in the first place, you will have restored a son to your friend; you will obtain a sure son-in-law for yourself, and a husband for your daughter.

  Chrem. What is one to say to all this? If you feel persuaded that this is beneficial, I don’t wish that any advantage should be denied you.

  Sim. With good reason, Chremes, have I always considered you a most valuable friend.

  Chrem. But how say you —— ?

  Sim. What?

  Chrem. How do you know that they are now at variance?

  Sim. Davus himself, who is privy to all their plans, has told me so; and he advises me to expedite the match as fast as I can. Do you think he would do so, unless he was aware that my son desired it? You yourself as well shall presently hear what he says. (Goes to the door of his house and calls.) Halloo there! Call Davus out here. Look, here he is; I see him just coming out.

  Scene VI.

  Enter Davus from the house.

  Dav. I was coming to you.

  Sim. Why, what’s the matter?

  Dav. Why isn’t the bride sent for? It’s now growing late in the day.

  Sim. Do you hear me? I’ve been for some time not a little apprehensive of you, Davus, lest you should do that which the common class of servants is in the habit of doing, namely, impose upon me by your artifices; because my son is engaged in an amour.

  Dav. What, I do that?

  Sim. I fancied so; and therefore, fearing that, I concealed from you what I shall now mention.

  Dav. What?

  Sim. You shall know; for now I almost feel confidence in you.

  Dav. Have you found out at last what sort of a person I am?

  Sim. The marriage was not to have taken place.

  Dav. How? Not to have taken place?

  Sim. But I was making pretense, that I might test you all.

  Dav. (affecting surprise.) What is it you tell me?

  Sim. Such is the fact.

  Dav. Only see! I was not able to discover that. Dear me! what a cunning contrivance!

  Sim. Listen to this. Just as I ordered you to go from here into the house, he (pointing to Chremes) most opportunely met me.

  Dav. (aside.) Ha! Are we undone, then?

  Sim. I told him what you just now told me.

  Dav. (aside.) Why, what am I to hear?

  Sim. I begged him to give his daughter, and with difficulty I prevailed upon him.

  Dav. (aside.) Utterly ruined!

  Sim. (overhearing him speaking.) Eh — What was it you said?

  Dav. Extremely well done, I say.

  Sim. There’s no delay on his part now.

  Chrem. I’ll go home at once; I’ll tell her to make due preparation, and bring back word here.

  Exit.

  Sim. Now I do entreat you, Davus, since you by yourself have brought about this marriage for me ——

  Dav. I myself, indeed!

  Sim. Do your best still to reform my son.

  Dav. Troth, I’ll do it with all due care.

  Sim. Do it now, while his mind is agitated.

  Dav. You may be at ease.

  Sim. Come then; where is he just now?

  Dav. A wonder if he isn’t at home.

  Sim. I’ll go to him; and what I’ve been telling you, I’ll tell him as well.

  Goes into his house.

  Scene VII.

  Davus alone.

  Dav. (to himself.) I’m a lost man! What reason is there why I shouldn’t take my departure straightway hence for the mill? There’s no room left for supplicating; I’ve upset every thing now; I’ve deceived my master; I’ve plunged my master’s son into a marriage; I’ve been the cause of its taking place this very day, without his hoping for it, and against the wish of Pamphilus. Here’s cleverness for you! But, if I had kept myself quiet, no mischief would have happened. (Starting.) But see, I espy him; I’m utterly undone! Would that there were some spot here for me, from which I might this instant pitch myself headlong!

  Stands apart.

  Scene VIII.

  Enter Pamphilus in haste from Simo’s house.

  Pam. Where is he? The villain, who this day — I’m ruined; and I confess that this has justly befallen me, for being such a dolt, so devoid of sense; that I should have intrusted my fortunes to a frivolous slave! I am suffering the reward of my folly; still he shall never get off from me unpunished for this.

  Dav. (apart.) I’m quite sure that I shall be safe in future, if for the present I get clear of this mishap.

  Pam. But what now am I to say to my father? Am I to deny that I am ready, who have just promised to marry? With what effrontery could I presume to do that? I know not what to do with myself.

  Dav. (apart.) Nor I with myself, and yet I’m giving all due attention to it. I’ll tell him that I will devise something, in order that I may procure some respite in this dilemma.

  Pam. (Catching sight of him.) Oho!

  Dav. (apart.) I’m seen.

  Pam. (sneeringly.) How now, good sir, what are you about? Do you see how dreadfully I am hampered by your devices?

  Dav. Still, I’ll soon extricate you.

  Pam. You, extricate me?

  Dav. Assuredly, Pamphilus.

  Pam. As you have just done, I suppose.

  Dav. Why no, better, I trust.

  Pam. What, am I to believe you, you scoundrel? You, indeed, make good a matter that’s all embarrassment and ruin! Just see, in whom I’ve been placing reliance — you who this day from a most happy state have been and plunged me into a marriage. Didn’t I say that this would be the case?

  Dav. You did say so.

  Pam. What do you deserve?

  Dav. The cross. But allow me a little time to recover myself; I’ll soon hit upon something.

  Pam. Ah me! not to have the leisure to inflict punishment upon you as I desire! for the present conjuncture warns me to take precautions for myself, not to be taking vengeance on you.

  Exeunt.

  ACT THE FOURTH.

  Scene I.

  Enter Charinus, wringing his hands.

  Char. (to himself.) Is this to be believed or spoken of; that malice so great could be inborn in any one as to exult at misfortunes, and to derive advantage from the distresses of another! Oh, is this true? Assuredly, that is the most dangerous class of men, in whom there is only a slight degree of hesitation at refusing; afterward, when the time arrives for fulfilling their promises, then, obliged, of necessity they discover themselves. They are afraid, and yet the circumstances compel them to refuse. Then, in that case, their very insolent remark is, “Who are you? What are you to me? What should I give up
to you what’s my own? Look you, I am the most concerned in my own interests.” But if you inquire where is honor, they are not ashamed. Here, where there is occasion, they are not afraid; there, where there is no occasion, they are afraid. But what am I to do? Ought I not to go to him, and reason with him upon this outrage, and heap many an invective upon him? Yet some one may say, “you will avail nothing.” Nothing? At least I shall have vexed him, and have given vent to my own feelings.

  Scene II.

  Enter Pamphilus and Davus.

  Pam. Charinus, unintentionally I have ruined both myself and you, unless the Gods in some way befriend us.

  Char. Unintentionally, is it! An excuse has been discovered at last. You have broken your word.

  Pam. How so, pray?

  Char. Do you expect to deceive me a second time by these speeches?

  Pam. What does this mean?

  Char. Since I told you that I loved her, she has become quite pleasing to you. Ah wretched me! to have judged of your disposition from my own.

  Pam. You are mistaken.

  Char. Did this pleasure appear to you not to be quite complete, unless you tantalized me in my passion, and lured me on by groundless hopes? — You may take her.

  Pam. I, take her? Alas! you know not in what perplexities, to my sorrow, I am involved, and what vast anxieties this executioner of mine (pointing to Davus) has contrived for me by his devices.

  Char. What is it so wonderful, if he takes example from yourself?

  Pam. You would not say that if you understood either myself or my affection.

  Char. I’m quite aware (ironically); you have just now had a dispute with your father, and he is now angry with you in consequence, and has not been able to-day to prevail upon you to marry her.

  Pam. No, not at all, — as you are not acquainted with my sorrows, these nuptials were not in preparation for me; and no one was thinking at present of giving me a wife.

  Char. I am aware; you have been influenced by your own inclination.

  Pam. Hold; you do not yet know all.

  Char. For my part, I certainly do know that you are about to marry her.

  Pam. Why are you torturing me to death? Listen to this. He (pointing to Davus) never ceased to urge me to tell my father that I would marry her; to advise and persuade me, even until he compelled me.

  Char. Who was this person?

  Pam. Davus.

  Char. Davus! For what reason?

  Pam. I don’t know; except that I must have been under the displeasure of the Gods, for me to have listened to him.

  Char. Is this the fact, Davus?

  Dav. It is the fact.

  Char. (starting.) Ha! What do you say, you villain? Then may the Gods send you an end worthy of your deeds. Come now, tell me, if all his enemies had wished him to be plunged into a marriage, what advice but this could they have given?

  Dav. I have been deceived, but I don’t despair.

  Char. (ironically.) I’m sure of that.

  Dav. This way it has not succeeded; we’ll try another. Unless, perhaps, you think that because it failed at first, this misfortune can not now possibly be changed for better luck.

  Pam. Certainly not; for I quite believe that if you set about it, you will be making two marriages for me out of one.

  Dav. I owe you this, Pamphilus, in respect of my servitude, to strive with hands and feet, night and day; to submit to hazard of my life, to serve you. It is your part, if any thing has fallen out contrary to expectation, to forgive me. What I was contriving has not succeeded; still, I am using all endeavors; or, do you yourself devise something better, and dismiss me.

  Pam. I wish to; restore me to the position in which you found me.

  Dav. I’ll do so.

  Pam. But it must be done directly.

  Dav. But the door of Glycerium’s house here makes a noise.

  Pam. That’s nothing to you.

  Dav. (assuming an attitude of meditation.) I’m in search of —

  Pam. (ironically.) Dear me, what, now at last?

  Dav. Presently I’ll give you what I’ve hit upon.

  Scene III.

  Enter Mysis from the house of Glycerium.

  Mys. (calling at the door to Glycerium within.) Now, wherever he is, I’ll take care that your own Pamphilus shall be found for you, and brought to you by me; do you only, my life, cease to vex yourself.

  Pam. Mysis.

  Mys. (turning round.) Who is it? Why, Pamphilus, you do present yourself opportunely to me. My mistress charged me to beg of you, if you love her, to come to her directly; she says she wishes to see you.

  Pam. (aside.) Alas! I am undone; this dilemma grows apace! (To Davus.) For me and her, unfortunate persons, now to be tortured this way through your means; for I am sent for, because she has discovered that my marriage is in preparation.

  Char. From which, indeed, how easily a respite could have been obtained, if he (pointing to Davus) had kept himself quiet.

  Dav. (ironically to Charinus.) Do proceed; if he isn’t sufficiently angry of his own accord, do you irritate him.

  Mys. (to Pamphilus.) Aye faith, that is the case; and for that reason, poor thing, she is now in distress.

  Pam. Mysis, I swear by all the Gods that I will never forsake her; not if I were to know that all men would be my enemies in consequence. Her have I chosen for mine; she has fallen to my lot; our feelings are congenial; farewell they, who wish for a separation between us; nothing but Death separates her from me.

  Mys. I begin to revive.

  Pam. Not the responses of Apollo are more true than this. If it can possibly be contrived that my father may not believe that this marriage has been broken off through me, I could wish it. But if that can not be, I will do that which is easily effected, for him to believe that through me it has been caused. What do you think of me?

  Char. That you are as unhappy as myself.

  Dav. (placing his finger on his forehead.) I’m contriving an expedient.

  Char. You are a clever hand; if you do set about any thing.

  Dav. Assuredly, I’ll manage this for you.

  Pam. There’s need of it now.

  Dav. But I’ve got it now.

  Char. What is it?

  Dav. For him (pointing to Pamphilus) I’ve got it, not for you, don’t mistake.

  Char. I’m quite satisfied.

  Pam. What will you do? Tell me.

  Dav. I’m afraid that this day won’t be long enough for me to execute it, so don’t suppose that I’ve now got leisure for relating it; do you betake yourself off at once, for you are a hinderance to me.

  Pam. I’ll go and see her.

  Goes into the house of Glycerium.

  Dav. (to Charinus.) What are you going to do? Whither are you going from here?

  Char. Do you wish me to tell you the truth?

  Dav. No, not at all; (aside) he’s making the beginning of a long story for me.

  Char. What will become of me?

  Dav. Come now, you unreasonable person, are you not satisfied that I give you a little respite, by putting off his marriage?

  Char. But yet, Davus —

  Dav. What then?

  Char. That I may marry her —

  Dav. Absurd.

  Char. Be sure to come hither (pointing in the direction of his house) to my house, if you can effect any thing.

  Dav. Why should I come? I can do nothing for you.

  Char. But still, if any thing —

  Dav. Well, well, I’ll come.

  Char. If you can; I shall be at home.

  Exit.

  Scene IV.

  Mysis and Davus.

  Dav. Do you, Mysis, remain here a little while, until I come out.

  Mys. For what reason?

  Dav. There’s a necessity for so doing.

  Mys. Make haste.

  Dav. I’ll be here this moment, I tell you.

  He goes into the house of Glycerium.

  Scene V.

  Mysis alone.


  Mys. (to herself.) That nothing can be secure to any one! Ye Gods, by our trust in you! I used to make sure that this Pamphilus was a supreme blessing for my mistress; a friend, a protector, a husband secured under every circumstance; yet what anguish is she, poor thing, now suffering through him? Clearly there’s more trouble for her now than there was happiness formerly. But Davus is coming out.

  Scene VI.

  Enter Davus from the house of Glycerium with the child.

  Mys. My good sir, prithee, what is that? Whither are you carrying the child?

  Dav. Mysis, I now stand in need of your cunning being brought into play in this matter, and of your address.

  Mys. Why, what are you going to do?

  Dav. (holding out the child.) Take it from me directly, and lay it down before our door.

  Mys. Prithee, on the ground?

  Dav. (pointing.) Take some sacred herbs from the altar here, and strew them under it.

  Mys. Why don’t you do it yourself?

  Dav. That if perchance I should have to swear to my master that I did not place it there, I may be enabled to do so with a clear conscience.

  Mys. I understand; have these new scruples only just now occurred to you, pray?

  Dav. Bestir yourself quickly, that you may learn what I’m going to do next. (Mysis lays the child at Simo’s door.) Oh Jupiter!

  Mys. (starting up.) What’s the matter?

  Dav. The father of the intended bride is coming in the middle of it all. The plan which I had first purposed I now give up.

  Mys. I don’t understand what you are talking about.

  Dav. I’ll pretend too that I’ve come in this direction from the right. Do you take care to help out the conversation by your words, whenever there’s necessity.

  Mys. I don’t at all comprehend what you are about; but if there’s any thing in which you have need of my assistance, as you understand the best, I’ll stay, that I mayn’t in any way impede your success.

  Davus retires out of sight.