Complete Works of Terence

by Terence

  Scene VII.

  Enter Chremes on the other side of the stage, going toward the house of Simo.

  Chrem. (to himself.) After having provided the things necessary for my daughter’s nuptials, I’m returning, that I may request her to be sent for. (Seeing the child.) But what’s this? I’faith, it’s a child. (Addressing Mysis.) Woman, have you laid that here (pointing to the child)?

  Mys. (aside, looking out for Davus.) Where is he?

  Chrem. Don’t you answer me?

  Mys. (looking about, to herself.) He isn’t any where to be seen. Woe to wretched me! the fellow has left me and is off.

  Dav. (coming forward and pretending not to see them.) Ye Gods, by our trust in you! what a crowd there is in the Forum! What a lot of people are squabbling there! (Aloud.) Then provisions are so dear. (Aside.) What to say besides, I don’t know.

  Chremes passes by Mysis, and goes to a distance at the back of the stage.

  Mys. Pray, why did you leave me here alone?

  Dav. (pretending to start on seeing the child.) Ha! what story is this? How now, Mysis, whence comes this child? Who has brought it here?

  Mys. Are you quite right in your senses, to be asking me that?

  Dav. Whom, then, ought I to ask, as I don’t see any one else here?

  Chrem. (apart to himself.) I wonder whence it has come.

  Dav. Are you going to tell me what I ask?

  Mys. Pshaw!

  Dav. (in a whisper.) Step aside to the right.

  They retire on one side.

  Mys. You are out of your senses; didn’t you your own self?

  Dav. (in a low voice.) Take you care not to utter a single word beyond what I ask you. Why don’t you say aloud whence it comes?

  Mys. (in a loud voice.) From our house.

  Dav. (affecting indignation.) Heyday, indeed! it really is a wonder if a woman, who is a courtesan, acts impudently.

  Chrem. (apart.) So far as I can learn, this woman belongs to the Andrian.

  Dav. Do we seem to you such very suitable persons for you to be playing tricks with us in this way?

  Chrem. (apart.) I came just in time.

  Dav. Make haste then, and take the child away from the door here: (in a low voice) stay there; take care you don’t stir from that spot.

  Mys. (aside.) May the Gods confound you! you do so terrify poor me.

  Dav. (in a loud voice.) Is it to you I speak or not?

  Mys. What is it you want?

  Dav. (aloud.) What — do you ask me again? Tell me, whose child have you been laying here? Let me know.

  Mys. Don’t you know?

  Dav. (in a low voice.) Have done with what I know; tell me what I ask.

  Mys. (aloud.) It belongs to your people.

  Dav. (aloud.) Which of our people?

  Mys. (aloud.) To Pamphilus.

  Dav. (affecting surprise in a loud tone.) How? What — to Pamphilus?

  Mys. (aloud.) How now — is it not so?

  Chrem. (apart.) With good reason have I always been averse to this match, it’s clear.

  Dav. (calling aloud.) O abominable piece of effrontery!

  Mys. Why are you bawling out so?

  Dav. (aloud.) What, the very one I saw being carried to your house yesterday evening?

  Mys. O you impudent fellow!

  Dav. (aloud.) It’s the truth. I saw Canthara stuffed out beneath her clothes.

  Mys. I’faith, I thank the Gods that several free women were present at the delivery.

  Dav. (aloud.) Assuredly she doesn’t know him, on whose account she resorts to these schemes. Chremes, she fancies, if he sees the child laid before the door, will not give his daughter; i’faith, he’ll give her all the sooner.

  Chrem. (apart.) I’faith, he’ll not do so.

  Dav. (aloud.) Now therefore, that you may be quite aware, if you don’t take up the child, I’ll roll it forthwith into the middle of the road; and yourself in the same place I’ll roll over into the mud.

  Mys. Upon my word, man, you are not sober.

  Dav. (aloud.) One scheme brings on another. I now hear it whispered about that she is a citizen of Attica —

  Chrem. (apart.) Ha!

  Dav. (aloud.) And that, constrained by the laws, he will have to take her as his wife.

  Mys. Well now, pray, is she not a citizen?

  Chrem. (apart.) I had almost fallen unawares into a comical misfortune.

  Comes forward.

  Dav. Who’s that, speaking? (Pretending to look about.) O Chremes, you have come in good time. Do listen to this.

  Chrem. I have heard it all already.

  Dav. Prithee, did you hear it? Here’s villainy for you! she (pointing at Mysis) ought to be carried off hence to the torture forthwith. (To Mysis, pointing at Chremes.) This is Chremes himself; don’t suppose that you are trifling with Davus only.

  Mys. Wretched me! upon my faith I have told no untruth, my worthy old gentleman.

  Chrem. I know the whole affair. Is Simo within?

  Dav. He is.

  Chremes goes into Simo’s house.

  Scene VIII.

  Davus and Mysis.

  Mys. (Davus attempting to caress her.) Don’t touch me, villain. (Moving away.) On my word, if I don’t tell Glycerium all this....

  Dav. How now, simpleton, don’t you know what has been done?

  Mys. How should I know?

  Dav. This is the bride’s father. It couldn’t any other way have been managed that he should know the things that we wanted him to know.

  Mys. You should have told me that before.

  Dav. Do you suppose that it makes little difference whether you do things according to impulse, as nature prompts, or from premeditation?

  Scene IX.

  Enter Crito, looking about him.

  Crito (to himself.) It was said that Chrysis used to live in this street, who preferred to gain wealth here dishonorably to living honestly as a poor woman in her own country: by her death that property has descended to me by law. But I see some persons of whom to make inquiry. (Accosting them.) Good-morrow to you.

  Mys. Prithee, whom do I see? Isn’t this Crito, the kinsman of Chrysis? It is he.

  Cri. O Mysis, greetings to you.

  Mys. Welcome to you, Crito.

  Cri. Is Chrysis then —— ? Alas!

  Mys. Too truly. She has indeed left us poor creatures quite heart-broken.

  Cri. How fare you here, and in what fashion? Pretty well?

  Mys. What, we? Just as we can, as they say; since we can’t as we would.

  Cri. How is Glycerium? Has she discovered her parents yet?

  Mys. I wish she had.

  Cri. What, not yet? With no favorable omen did I set out for this place; for, upon my faith, if I had known that, I never would have moved a foot hither. She was always said to be, and was looked upon as her sister; what things were hers she is in possession of; now for me to begin a suit at law here, the precedents of others warn me, a stranger, how easy and profitable a task it would be for me. At the same time, I suppose that by this she has got some friend and protector; for she was pretty nearly a grown-up girl when she left there. They would cry out that I am a sharper; that, a pauper, I’m hunting after an inheritance; besides, I shouldn’t like to strip the girl herself.

  Mys. O most worthy stranger! I’faith, Crito, you still adhere to your good old-fashioned ways.

  Cri. Lead me to her, since I have come hither, that I may see her.

  Mys. By all means.

  They go into the house of Glycerium.

  Dav. (to himself.) I’ll follow them; I don’t wish the old man to see me at this moment.

  He follows Mysis and Crito.

  ACT THE FIFTH.

  Scene I.

  Enter Chremes and Simo from the house of Simo.

  Chrem. Enough already, enough, Simo, has my friendship toward you been proved. Sufficient hazard have I begun to encounter; make an end of your entreaties, then. While I’ve been endeavoring to oblige you, I�
��ve almost fooled away my daughter’s prospects in life.

  Sim. Nay but, now in especial, Chremes, I do beg and entreat of you, that the favor, commenced a short time since in words, you’ll now complete by deeds.

  Chrem. See how unreasonable you are from your very earnestness; so long as you effect what you desire, you neither think of limits to compliance, nor what it is you request of me; for if you did think, you would now forbear to trouble me with unreasonable requests.

  Sim. What unreasonable requests?

  Chrem. Do you ask? You importuned me to promise my daughter to a young man engaged in another attachment, averse to the marriage state, to plunge her into discord and a marriage of uncertain duration; that through her sorrow and her anguish I might reclaim your son. You prevailed; while the case admitted of it I made preparations. Now it does not admit of it; you must put up with it; they say that she is a citizen of this place; a child has been born; do cease to trouble us.

  Sim. By the Gods, I do conjure you not to bring your mind to believe those whose especial interest it is that he should be as degraded as possible. On account of the marriage, have all these things been feigned and contrived. When the reason for which they do these things is removed from them, they will desist.

  Chrem. You are mistaken: I myself saw the servant-maid wrangling with Davus.

  Sim. (sneeringly.) I am aware.

  Chrem. With an appearance of earnestness, when neither at the moment perceived that I was present there.

  Sim. I believe it; and Davus a short time since forewarned me that this would be the case; and I don’t know how I forgot to tell it you to-day, as I had intended.

  Scene II.

  Enter Davus from the house of Glycerium.

  Dav. (aloud at the door, not seeing Simo and Chremes.) Now then, I bid you set your minds at ease.

  Chrem. (to Simo.) See you, there’s Davus.

  Sim. From what house is he coming out?

  Dav. (to himself.) Through my means, and that of the stranger ——

  Sim. (overhearing.) What mischief is this?

  Dav. (to himself.) I never did see a more opportune person, encounter, or occasion.

  Sim. The rascal! I wonder who it is he’s praising?

  Dav. All the affair is now in a safe position.

  Sim. Why do I delay to accost him?

  Dav. (to himself, catching sight of Simo.) It’s my master; What am I to do?

  Sim. (accosting him.) O, save you, good sir!

  Dav. (affecting surprise.) Hah! Simo! O, Chremes, my dear sir, all things are now quite ready in-doors.

  Sim. (ironically.) You have taken such very good care.

  Dav. Send for the bride when you like.

  Sim. Very good: (ironically) of course, that’s the only thing that’s now wanting here. But do you answer me this, what business had you there? (Pointing to the house of Glycerium.)

  Dav. What, I?

  Sim. Just so.

  Dav. I?

  Sim. Yes, you.

  Dav. I went in just now.

  Sim. As if I asked how long ago!

  Dav. Together with your son.

  Sim. What, is Phamphilus in there? (Aside.) To my confusion, I’m on the rack (To Davus.) How now? Didn’t you say that there was enmity between them, you scoundrel?

  Dav. There is.

  Sim. Why is he there, then?

  Chrem. Why do you suppose he is? (Ironically.) Quarreling with her, of course.

  Dav. Nay but, Chremes, I’ll let you now hear from me a disgraceful piece of business. An old man, I don’t know who he is, has just now come here; look you, he is a confident and shrewd person; when you look at his appearance, he seems to be a person of some consequence. There is a grave sternness in his features, and something commanding in his words.

  Sim. What news are you bringing, I wonder?

  Dav. Why nothing but what I heard him mention.

  Sim. What does he say then?

  Dav. That he knows Glycerium to be a citizen of Attica.

  Sim. (going to his door.) Ho there! Dromo, Dromo!

  Scene III.

  Enter Dromo hastily from the house.

  Dro. What is it?

  Sim. Dromo!

  Dav. Hear me.

  Sim. If you add a word — Dromo!

  Dav. Hear me, pray.

  Dro. (to Simo.) What do you want?

  Sim. (pointing to Davus.) Carry him off on your shoulders in-doors as fast as possible.

  Dro. Whom?

  Sim. Davus.

  Dav. For what reason?

  Sim. Because I choose. (To Dromo.) Carry him off, I say.

  Dav. What have I done?

  Sim. Carry him off.

  Dav. If you find that I have told a lie in any one matter, then kill me.

  Sim. I’ll hear nothing. I’ll soon have you set in motion.

  Dav. What? Although this is the truth.

  Sim. In spite of it. (To Dromo.) Take care he’s kept well secured; and, do you hear? Tie him up hands and feet together. Now then, be off; upon my faith this very day, if I live, I’ll teach you what hazard there is in deceiving a master, and him in deceiving a father.

  Dromo leads Davus into the house.

  Chrem. Oh, don’t be so extremely vexed.

  Sim. O Chremes, the dutifulness of a son! Do you not pity me? That I should endure so much trouble for such a son! (Goes to the door of Glycerium’s house.) Come, Pamphilus, come out, Pamphilus! have you any shame left?

  Scene IV.

  Enter Pamphilus in haste from Glycerium’s house.

  Pam. Who is it that wants me? (Aside.) I’m undone! it’s my father.

  Sim. What say you, of all men, the — ?

  Chrem. Oh! rather speak about the matter itself, and forbear to use harsh language.

  Sim. As if any thing too severe could now be possibly said against him. Pray, do you say that Glycerium is a citizen —

  Pam. So they say.

  Sim. So they say! Unparalleled assurance! does he consider what he says? Is he sorry for what he has done? Does his countenance, pray, at all betray any marks of shame? That he should be of mind so weak, as, without regard to the custom and the law of his fellow-citizens, and the wish of his own father, to be anxious, in spite of every thing, to have her, to his own utter disgrace!

  Pam. Miserable that I am!

  Sim. Ha! have you at last found that out only just now, Pamphilus? Long since did that expression, long since, when you made up your mind, that what you desired must be effected by you at any price; from that very day did that expression aptly befit you. But yet why do I torment myself? Why vex myself? Why worry my old age with this madness? Am I to suffer the punishment for his offenses? Nay then, let him have her, good-by to him, let him pass his life with her.

  Pam. My father ——

  Sim. How, “my father?” As if you stood in any need of this father. Home, wife, and children, provided by you against the will of your father! People suborned, too, to say that she is a citizen of this place! You have gained your point.

  Pam. Father, may I say a few words?

  Sim. What can you say to me?

  Chrem. But, Simo, do hear him.

  Sim. I, hear him? Why should I hear him, Chremes?

  Chrem. Still, however, do allow him to speak.

  Sim. Well then, let him speak: I allow him.

  Pam. I own that I love her; if that is committing a fault, I own that also. To you, father, do I subject myself. Impose on me any injunction you please; command me. Do you wish me to take a wife? Do you wish me to give her up? As well as I can, I will endure it. This only I request of you, not to think that this old gentleman has been suborned by me. Allow me to clear myself, and to bring him here before you.

  Sim. To bring him here?

  Pam. Do allow me, father.

  Chrem. He asks what’s reasonable; do give him leave.

  Pam. Allow me to obtain thus much of you.

  Sim. I allow it. I desire any thing, so long as I find,
Chremes, that I have not been deceived by him.

  Pamphilus goes into the house of Glycerium.

  Chrem. For a great offense, a slight punishment ought to satisfy a father.

  Scene V.

  Re-enter Pamphilus with Crito.

  Cri. (to Pamphilus, as he is coming out.) Forbear entreating. Of these, any one reason prompts me to do it, either your own sake, or the fact that it is the truth, or that I wish well for Glycerium herself.

  Chrem. (starting.) Do I see Crito of Andros? Surely it is he.

  Cri. Greetings to you, Chremes.

  Chrem. How is it that, so contrary to your usage, you are at Athens?

  Cri. So it has happened. But is this Simo?

  Chrem. It is he.

  Cri. Simo, were you asking for me?

  Sim. How now, do you say that Glycerium is a citizen of this place?

  Cri. Do you deny it?

  Sim. (ironically.) Have you come here so well prepared?

  Cri. For what purpose?

  Sim. Do you ask? Are you to be acting this way with impunity? Are you to be luring young men into snares here, inexperienced in affairs, and liberally brought up, by tempting them, and to be playing upon their fancies by making promises?

  Cri. Are you in your senses?

  Sim. And are you to be patching up amours with Courtesans by marriage?

  Pam. (aside.) I’m undone! I fear that the stranger will not put up with this.

  Chrem. If, Simo, you knew this person well, you would not think thus; he is a worthy man.

  Sim. He, a worthy man! To come so opportunely to-day just at the very nuptials, and yet never to have come before? (Ironically.) Of course, we must believe him, Chremes.

  Pam. (aside.) If I didn’t dread my father, I have something, which, in this conjuncture, I could opportunely suggest to him.

  Sim. (sneeringly, to Chremes.) A sharper!

  Cri. (starting.) Hah!

  Chrem. It is his way, Crito; do excuse it.

  Cri. Let him take heed how he behaves. If he persists in saying to me what he likes, he’ll be hearing things that he don’t like. Am I meddling with these matters or interesting myself? Can you not endure your troubles with a patient mind? For as to what I say, whether it is true or false what I have heard, can soon be known. A certain man of Attica, a long time ago, his ship being wrecked, was cast ashore at Andros, and this woman together with him, who was then a little girl; he, in his destitution, by chance first made application to the father of Chrysis —