A Secret of the Heart (Amish Secrets--Book 3)

by J. E. B. Spredemann

  The Justice of the Peace read the vows of which they were to repeat. This was quite different from the Amish wedding she’d always dreamed of. Aside from their two witnesses, no one else from their community was present. Lillianna was ever so thankful for her younger sister and she was certain they’d be close life-long friends.

  Lillianna wasn’t surprised that James had agreed to come along. It seemed he’d do whatever his wife wished. Although their parents hadn’t approved of her sister’s choice, Lillianna was certain she’d made the right one.

  When the officiant pronounced them man and wife, Lillianna felt like pinching herself. This was all too good to be true. She’d never believed Tommy would come back, but he’d done just that. God continued to amaze her with His abundant mercy and grace.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  True to his word, Thomas hadn’t brought up the past. Their wedding night had been satisfying, despite Lillianna’s internal apprehension. After being coerced by Clay, she was uncertain how she was supposed to feel and act. Tommy had been loving and gentle and kind, which set her mind at ease; nothing like her encounters with Clay. She hated the fact that she had someone to compare her husband to, but at least Thomas demonstrated how an honorable man should behave.

  Lillianna was thrilled to be back in Lancaster County. Thomas was anxious for her to get reacquainted with his family and to meet his new friends in the neighboring district. In addition to keeping his younger siblings a few days a week, he’d been helping out on his sister’s farm, and would continue for as long as he was needed. They’d given him the dawdi haus to occupy, but Tommy wanted a place of their own.

  The situation with Tommy’s family was somewhat awkward, as Lillianna and Thomas had not committed to the Amish way. She wondered if Bishop Mast or one of the ministers would pay them a visit soon. This district was even stricter than her Ohio church, but certain allowances were made when emergencies arose, such as Thomas’ brother-in-law’s calamity.

  “What do you think about attending meeting in Bishop Hostettler’s district?” Tommy asked over supper. They’d determined to stay out of his sister’s household as much as possible in order to ease her burden, so meals usually included the two of them and occasionally his siblings.

  “You would want to go to an Amish church?” Lillianna’s brow shot up.

  He shrugged. “There are some really nice folks there that I want you to meet. They have different views on things and are not as strict as Bishop Mast.”

  “I think Samuel Beachy, Carolanne’s husband, was from there. You met them at the Grand Canyon.” She frowned. “Did I tell you that he died?”

  “Samuel did?”

  “Jah. When you were in treatment. He was in a buggy accident.”

  “Hmm…that’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.” He scratched his head. “If I recall correctly, I think I met some Beachys. Uh…Peter was his name.”

  “Ach, I think that is Samuel’s brother. Jah, he and his fraa came to visit one year.”

  “Small world.” He shot up from his chair at the sound of Mercy’s cry. “I’ll get her.”

  Lillianna smiled. Thomas had treated Mercy as though she were his own flesh and blood. She loved to watch the two of them interact.

  “Be there in a bit,” he hollered from the bedroom. “She sprung a leak.”

  Lillianna laughed. It amazed her that he was even willing to change Mercy’s diapers. She’d never seen Dat demonstrate that in all her growing up years; it had always been considered a woman’s job.

  A few moments later, the two of them emerged from the bedroom. Thomas handed the baby to Lillianna. “I do believe she is hungry.”

  When Lillianna brought the baby near, she immediately began searching for her source of nourishment. “You’re right.”

  Thomas sat back down and continued eating. “So, what do you think about what I said?”

  “About Amish church?”

  “Yes.”

  She shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind going.”

  “Good. I’d hoped you’d say that.”

  Lillianna shook her head in disbelief.

  “What? What was that look for?” Thomas smiled.

  “You. You’re so different. What changed in you Thomas?” She marveled.

  “I got a heart transplant.”

  Lillianna’s brow lowered in question.

  “Jonathan and the bishop led me to the Lord. The videos you suggested that I watch; well, I watched them while I was in Mexico. As a matter of fact, that’s how I spent a lot of my free time. I would watch the videos and then do my own research to see if what the guy was saying was true. I learned so much. He debunked every evolutionary myth I’d ever believed and I had no choice but to accept the truth. I’d always thought you had to commit intellectual suicide to believe the Bible, but I found the exact opposite is true. Then when I came here and met Judah Hostettler and Jonathan Fisher, they set me straight on a lot of things and answered many of my questions.”

  “Oh, wow.” Lillianna placed the baby over her shoulder and began to pat her back.

  “I can burp her,” Thomas offered.

  Lillianna handed Mercy to him.

  “How would you feel if I adopted her?” Thomas kissed the baby’s cheek.

  “Is that possible?” Lillianna worried about Clay’s reaction. What if he came and tried to get custody of the baby?

  “Do you think Clay Stevenson would be willing to waive his parental rights? It seems to me that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with her. Has he tried to contact you at all?”

  Lillianna shook her head. “Nee. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’d rather not contact him.”

  “I could do it.”

  “I think it would be better if you didn’t.”

  “Do you not want me to be Mercy’s father, Lil?”

  Lillianna read the hurt in his features. “Nee, it’s not that. You are a gut father to her.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Lillianna frowned. “What if he tries to take her away? He is a politician. He has a lot of power.”

  “I see your point.” Thomas nodded. “I have an idea. Why don’t we pray on it?”

  Lillianna agreed.

  <><><>

  Dear Lilly,

  Greetings in the name of the Lord! How are you, Thomas, and the baby doing? We are good. Guess what! James and I are expecting a boppli! I can hardly believe it. I’m so excited.

  Everything is going fine at home with Mamm and Dat. I think they are pleased that Thomas married you.

  I hope you are happy in Pennsylvania. Saloma said a letter came for you from Congressman Stevenson, but Dat sent it back. It wonders me what he had to say, not that it’s any of my business. It’s probably better for you and Thomas and the baby if you don’t have contact with him, jah?

  Well, I better go. Supper is on the stove and James will be coming home from work soon.

  Love from your sister,

  Mandy

  Lillianna scowled. The last thing she desired was correspondence from Clay Stevenson. What did he want? She hoped that he would never find her here.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  If Thomas was honest with himself, he’d admit that he was worried. Ever since he mentioned adopting little Mercy, Lillianna had seemed different. Perhaps he shouldn’t have mentioned Clay Stevenson’s name. Had it brought back memories for Lil? Was she still thinking of her former lover? He forced the post-hole digger into the ground in frustration.

  Didn’t Mercy deserve a proper father? He loved that baby with all his heart. He wished she belonged to him and Lillianna.

  He sighed when he looked down the row of fence posts. He’d hoped to be finished with this by noon, but it didn’t look like it would happen. Dinner would be ready soon and Lil would be expecting him to come in from the field.

  After setting a few more posts, he glanced up at the sun and determined by its position that it was around noon. He set the post-hole tool down and began hea
ding to the house to wash up.

  A black sports car caught his eye as he neared the house. He’d seen it before. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it belonged to Clay Stevenson. He’d better be wrong. The closer he moved toward the house, the more his blood started to boil. That man had no business entering the place where he and his wife dwelt. If he knew what was good for him, he’d stay far away.

  Instead of charging in, he attempted to gather his wits about him. He inched toward an open window, hoping to hear the conversation taking place inside.

  “What are you doing here, Clay?” Lillianna did not sound happy to see him. That was a good sign.

  “You know why I’m here. I’m taking the baby.”

  Oh, no.

  “No. You can’t. I won’t let you.”

  “Since when do you have power over me, Lillianna? I warned you that if you ever told anybody about the circumstances of her conception, that I was going to get rid of that child. And I aim to do just that.”

  “I didn’t tell anyone that you raped me! I haven’t said anything to anybody.”

  Raped? Thomas’ jaw clenched. He felt like he’d just received a blow to his stomach. Lil was raped? Without another thought, Thomas ran to the tool shed.

  “Do you expect me to believe that Thomas took you back believing that we’d had an affair?”

  “Yes, I did.” Thomas cocked the shotgun and Clay spun around. When Thomas saw the baby in Clay’s arms, he immediately lowered the gun.

  “Give the baby to Lillianna now!” Thomas demanded.

  “What are you going to do, shoot me for holding my own baby?” Clay looked to Lillianna. “Lillianna and I had an agreement. She didn’t uphold her end of the bargain so now I’m taking payment.”

  “For someone who took advantage of a young Amish woman, you have a lot of nerve. Don’t think for one minute that you’re going to get away with rape and kidnapping.”

  Clay laughed. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

  Thomas raised the gun again. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

  “The baby’s going with me.”

  “Over my dead body,” Thomas threatened.

  “Clay, please! She didn’t do anything wrong,” Lillianna cried. “I forgive you, Clay. I forgive you for what you’ve done to me.”

  Clay turned around and frowned at Lillianna.

  Thomas took the distraction as an opportunity to rescue Mercy from Clay’s arms.

  “If you sign over your parental rights, we’ll consider not pressing charges. I hear rape can carry a life sentence,” Thomas bargained. “With fringe benefits.”

  Clay threw his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Keep the baby.”

  Several moments later, Clay Stevenson was driving down the road, and out of their lives, for good.

  <><><>

  Lillianna melted into Thomas’ arms, her body trembling with fear. “I’m so glad you came. I was so scared.”

  “Shh…you don’t need to be frightened anymore. That man is never going to touch you or our baby again,” Thomas whispered into her hair. “I’m so sorry, Lil. I had no idea that Clay raped you.”

  “At first I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to stop your treatments. I knew that if I did, you would come home and Clay wouldn’t give you the money to continue. I didn’t want you to die. After he did it the first time, I knew I couldn’t undo what had been done anyway.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, Tommy, it was so awful. I tried with all my might to get away…” She broke off, sobbing.

  Thomas clenched his fists. I wish I had killed him. His frustration mounted. “He did it more than once?”

  She nodded. “I’m not sure how many times. Sometimes he would put something into my drink without me knowing.”

  “I feel so awful that you stayed with that wretched man for me, and then when I came back from treatment…” He raked his hands through his hair. “Forgive me, Lil. Forgive me for jumping to conclusions and assuming…What kind of man am I?”

  “It’s not your fault; you didn’t know. I should have said something to you about it, but I was too frightened. When I told Clay I was pregnant, he wanted to force me to have an abortion. I told him that I wouldn’t, so he threatened me. He said that if I kept the baby, that he would come and take her and that I would never see her again, if I ever told anybody what happened. He must’ve assumed I told you.”

  “What a wicked man. I never would have thought.”

  “Nobody would have. You’d never know by looking at him. He looks like a nice man.”

  “It was my fault.”

  Thomas frowned. “I don’t understand. How can you say it’s your fault?”

  “I wore that dress to the charity auction–”

  Thomas’ eyes widened. “Wait! Are you saying you think it’s your fault because of that dress in the paper?”

  Lillianna nodded.

  Thomas shook his head. “No, Lil. I admit that you looked good in that dress, and compared to Amish apparel I can see how you’d be uncomfortable in it. But there was nothing overly inappropriate about it.”

  “But Clay said I looked seductive in it.”

  “You looking nice in an outfit does not give Clay the right to force you against your will. I know and agree that sometimes women dress much more immodestly than they should, but not you. You would never dress that way. I saw the dress, Lil.” He took a deep breath. “But either way, when he attacked you he was committing a crime. And that is never okay. Do you understand?”

  She dipped her head slightly.

  He raised her chin and their eyes met. “It wasn’t your fault, Lil. I don’t ever want you to think that. Okay?”

  Lillianna nodded.

  “I can’t believe we just let him go.” Thomas felt like running Clay down, pulling out the shotgun, and ending this despicable man’s life.

  “God will take care of him,” Lillianna assured. “But I pray that he will find Jesus.”

  “Lil, never in a million years could I have found a better woman than you. You are amazing.”

  “I can’t do any less than what Jesus did for me.”

  <><><>

  Dear Lillianna,

  Thank you for your letter. I admit that I almost threw it away without reading it. I’m sorry for the words of anger and judgment that you received in my last letter. I had no idea that Clay forced you. I feel terrible that you came into my home thinking it was a safe place, while my husband took advantage of you. I can’t imagine what you must have been feeling.

  I think it’s commendable that you are not pressing charges. However, I intend to. A man, especially a man who is supposed to be a leader, should never be able to get away with a crime. If he is not punished, he will think that he can do it again. Therefore, I intend to prosecute him. Don’t be surprised if you receive a subpoena in the mail.

  I’m happy to hear that you and Thomas have reconciled. Congratulations on your marriage.

  God bless you,

  Candace

  EPILOGUE

  Thomas strolled up behind Lillianna and placed his hands over her expanding belly. He pressed his warm lips to her neck, causing shivers to dance up her spine.

  “What do you say, if we have a girl, we name her Grace?” Tommy proposed.

  Lillianna turned around and melted into his arms. “Mercy and Grace. I like it. But what if the baby’s a boy?”

  Thomas shrugged. “Thomas, Jr.?”

  Lillianna laughed. “Maybe we can search for a male name that means grace.”

  “We could call him Jishikamiku.” Thomas raised his eyebrows.

  Lillianna gave him an amused grin.

  “Hey, that’s his ninja name. It’s sort of cool, isn’t it?” Thomas chuckled.

  Lillianna shook her head. “I think Thomas, Jr. will be just fine.”

  Thomas pulled her by the hand to the sofa and they sat down. Mercy, who sat on the floor with a few toys surrounding her, stood up and toddled toward
them. Lillianna picked her up and set her between them.

  Thomas picked up the newspaper. “You know, Lil, I’m all for mercy and grace, but I can’t deny that this gives me a sense of satisfaction.”

  Lillianna read the headline again: Congressman Behind Bars. She sighed and admitted to herself that she, too, felt a sense of justice. “Perhaps that is what it will take for him to find Jesus, jah?”

  “I have no doubt that you will continue to pray for him.”

  “We’ve done a lot of things wrong and God gave us a second chance. How can we not wish Clay get the same opportunity?”

  “You’re right. God has definitely blessed me with more than I could ever hope for.” Thomas picked up Mercy. “We should get ready for meeting now. If we’re late again, Jonathan will give me a hard time.”

  Lillianna leaned over and placed a tantalizing kiss on his lips. “Let’s give him something to talk about.”

  THE END

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  An Undeniable Secret (Amish Secrets – Book 4)