Second First Impressions
Page 27
“It’s growing back so fast.” I put my free hand into his hair, which is tied back into a messy knot at the nape of his neck. “Your crowning glory. But I hope you’ve realized by now that you are not your hair. You’re a business owner.”
“I’m a tattoo artist,” he replies, but he’s smiling. He’s shocked us all by being very, very good at paperwork. Who knew that underneath this chaotic surface was a hidden administrator, dying to be given the opportunity? It’s such a turn-on. He grins at me now. “Just thinking about my hair has made you horny.”
“Teddy, surely you know by now you could be bald and I’d want you.”
“Don’t tell Daisy at Christmas, she might get out the clippers.”
“That reminds me. This Christmas, can I take you home to meet my churchy parents?” I repeat the dating advertisement I wrote for myself, all that time ago, when I was lonely and internet dating felt like a good idea for about two seconds, and then a further two months.
(I should also mention, Melanie is shopping the Sasaki Method manuscript around to literary agents.)
I continue, trying to remember my secret advertisement. “I’m looking for a patient, safe cuddle-bug soul mate.”
“Well, you found him.” Teddy gets up and presses a kiss against my temple. “Let me get some food into you. Oops,” he says and pulls on my cardigan. “You’re buttoned all crooked. There. All better.”
He goes into the kitchen and as he dishes up my dinner, he says, “Of course you can take me home to meet your churchy parents. And they will love me. They’ll think I’m God’s gift. I’m everybody’s type.”
It’s true. He is.
And he’s mine.
Acknowledgments
How many times can one author be talked down off the ledge? Ask my agent, Taylor Haggerty. There’s a reason this book is dedicated to her. Thank you for always being on my side, for being a sounding board and a wonderful friend. I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done for me, but a purple book with tortoises is a good start. Thank you to all the lovely people at Root Literary, too. What a stable to belong to! It’s an honor. My editor, Carrie Feron, has guided this book to publication through some rocky waters. She, along with her colleagues at HarperCollins, have had exceptionally trying working conditions in 2020. Thank you, Carrie (and team), for helping me write the best book I can. I find your passion for storytelling very inspiring.
Roland, Tina, Katie, Delia, Sue and David, Lyn, Anne and Bob, and anyone who’s ever asked me “How’s the book going?” even when knowing the answer would be a big sigh: Thank you, I appreciate you. The main character of this book is named for my late grandmother Ruth Lowes, and I cackle imagining the hijinks she would have had at Providence.
The seed of this book is based on a daydream I used to share with Kate Warnock, when we worked together more than ten years ago. We used to tell each other stories about when we were very old and rich. We’d live together in a retirement villa, and we would hire a young male assistant to be at our beck and call. It was such a treat to finally write out this daydream in full.
P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
About the Author
* * *
Meet Sally Thorne
A Letter from Sally
About the Book
* * *
Melanie’s Query Letter for The Sasaki Method
About the Author
Meet Sally Thorne
SALLY THORNE is the USA Today bestselling author of The Hating Game and 99 Percent Mine. She spends her days climbing into fictional worlds of her own creation. She lives in Canberra, Australia, with her husband in a house filled with vintage toys, too many cushions, a haunted dollhouse, and the world’s sweetest pug.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
A Letter from Sally
In my last author essay, at the tail end of writing the very hard Second Book, I wrote that a blank Microsoft Word document felt like an abyss. I feel a lot of compassion for that Sally, and it makes me realize how far I’ve come.
As an author, I’m asked a lot about my writing process, and I usually make a joke about how I’m a mess. In truth, what happens when my hands are on the keyboard is something that makes me feel rather uncomfortable. I’m not in control. I never know what I’m going to write until I’ve written it, and I’m finally understanding that is okay. Word by word, over and over, it takes shape.
I’ve come to a realization that becoming good at something creative or worthwhile is a process of applying layers, and being willing to be really uncomfortable when the Thing is halfway done. It will look yicky. You will not like it. You will be pretty sure that you’re not succeeding. This is when another layer must be applied.
When the Covid 19 pandemic required the entire world to stay home, I turned my office chair around 180 degrees to look at what had been sitting behind me for nine years: my custom-built Victorian-Gothic dollhouse. It was shameful to own something so incredible and the mere sight of it made me despair, because the truth was, it did not inspire me. I hadn’t even opened it for two years. I wished I could call a tiny real estate agent to list it. Was breathing life into something so dusty and dormant even possible?
The first few times I opened the dollhouse’s front door, I was uncomfortable. It was just as I remembered. It had not reached its potential, I knew it, and I didn’t like it. I moved the velvet armchairs and used a lint roller to clean the carpets, then dusted the inch-tall porcelain vases with a paintbrush. Next, I turned the lights on and saw how my 1:12 scale chandeliers sparkled. I felt a corresponding sparkle in my heart.
Very small parcels started arriving in my mailbox. I began to spend so much time lost in these tiny rooms that I’d forget meals and the scary world outside my window. I hated the drab little bathroom, so I focused all my energy on it until it was an eccentric jungle of potted plants surrounding the brass claw-foot tub. Layer by layer, I began to love this dollhouse again. I christened it Blackthorne Manor—magic objects really shine when they have a name or title. It wasn’t too late to give it a name, not even after so many years had passed.
I hope that this might inspire you to look at the project or dream that is perhaps sitting behind you right now, that thing in your life that could be your own personal source of magic and heart sparkles if you could just bring yourself to apply one new layer to it. You might shake your head: It’s been too long! It’s covered in dust!
A book starts off as a blank page. A dollhouse starts out as wood. Nothing starts out looking like the finished product, and if you can accept that and work through the discomfort (particularly if you have perfectionist tendencies), then you can end up with a finished product that is a tiny work of art and something only you can produce. It doesn’t even require you to make a life-changing leap; just add one new layer of effort, attention, and time. Add a new layer to that dream, and just like the tortoises at Providence, make the journey, one inch at a time. They always get where they’re going, and so will you.
A blank page is a gift. Make your mark on it.
I now have the opportunity to provide a little bonus piece here at the end of the book, and when I thought about what to include, I realized that Melanie Sasaki had not had her full moment in the sun. Ruthie Midona found love too early, derailing Melanie’s carefully planned-out Sasaki Method, and I knew what I wanted to write.
Included here, just for fun, is what I imagine Melanie’s query letter to a literary agent would look like as she takes her first step toward publishing The Sasaki Method. This is not a book I am planning on writing, but it is intended as a thank-you to the girl who put her heart and soul into matchmaking in Second First Impressions.
About the Book
Melanie’s Query Letter for The Sasaki Method
melanie@thesasakimethod.com
Connor Randall Literary Agency
22 W 24th St, #900A, New York, NY
Attn: Harriet Schwartz
Dear H
arriet,
We met in February at the Nonfiction Writers’ Festival, and we talked briefly during the lunch buffet about the dating self-help book I have written. You laughed a lot at my pitch, complimented my hair, and gave me your business card. In my opinion, we hit it off, big-time. I really enjoyed the recent release by your client, Greer Johnson’s It’s Not All About You, which further convinced me I’d be a good fit for your agency.
I am now seeking representation for my debut nonfiction self-help book, The Sasaki Method.
This is the survival guide tucked in your backpack when hacking through the Tinder jungle. It’s the book to give to a friend who’s been off the market for a while, stuck in their shell, Too Busy for This Nonsense, or in any way feeling like they’ve missed the boat. Written with the tone of “annoyingly upbeat, nosy little sister” (source: my older sister, Genevieve), The Sasaki Method asks the reader to commit to an eight-week program of introspective goal setting and practical exercises. Self-love is the primary goal, then opening up the individual to romantic love. Hetero relationships are not referred to as the “norm,” and the language and case studies are inclusive.
If any challenge is made to my credentials, I will only have to reference the number of successful true-love pairings I have orchestrated. I am a modern-day Emma Woodhouse. This is my gift and I want to share it.
In combination with the book will be an IOS app (currently in beta testing), and I have also recorded four podcast episodes. I believe this gives us options for establishing a stable marketing platform. I also have full synopsis prepared for two further books in this series: The Sasaki Meaning (identifying signals the Universe is sending you) and The Sasaki Redemption (how to redeem yourself in today’s cancel culture). I have identified an imprint at Bexley and Gamin that I believe would be an ideal home for my books. I’d love to talk more about this with you.
Please find attached a sample of The Sasaki Method, and I remain on standby to submit a full manuscript if you should request it.
Yours,
Melanie Sasaki
* * *
FOREWORD
We all have a superpower, and mine is helping others find true love.
I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. Each of my Barbies was in a deeply committed relationship with a Ken doll—or another Barbie (I’ve always been an ally). I wasn’t dressing up as a bride; I was throwing petals on my friend. I didn’t have my own love affairs in high school, but instead was the one engineering promposals and connecting unrequited crushes.
Perhaps my belief in love comes from my father. He’s Japanese, and he has always told me folk stories about the red string of fate—the idea that you and another are tied together, finding your way back to each other. Sometimes the string ties two individuals together who have something to learn from each other. Other times, it’s true love. By day, I run activities programs for seniors, and they are less poetic about it: “There’s someone for everyone, ain’t there, dearie.” It’s true.
My sourpuss sister, Genevieve, had no hope of finding love until she finally engaged my services— and now she’s engaged to the equally sourpuss Mark. In time, they’ll birth some sour little kittens. I encouraged* (*borderline forced) my hairdresser Lin-Lin to ask out her deeply shy dog groomer, Margaret. I was their bridesmaid. At that same wedding, I found two sets of shy wallflowers, put them together on the dance floor, and now there are two new engagement rings on fingers.
I don’t mean to brag, but my skills are uncanny.
Despite all my undeniable successes, I never thought to write a book until the red string of fate led me to Ruthie Midona, the person whom I needed to teach me something: my approach needed some flexibility. She shuffled around like an elderly woman until I overhauled her entire way of seeing herself. She was a chronic list maker, and for her it made sense to be led through my program with a series of checklists and journaling prompts, which form the basis of the book you are holding. Love happens at unexpected moments, and we’d agreed Ruthie would not fall in love with the first man she saw.
Now Ruthie’s being smothered with kisses by a man who seemed completely wrong for her, and he’s the first man she laid eyes on. That red string never gets it wrong, and unlikely puzzle pieces always fit together. It gave me a new perspective that has contributed to this book in a fundamental way. Plan, but also go with it. I have to dedicate this book to Ruthie, because without her, I doubt I would have had the inspiration to organize all my various techniques, solutions, and worldviews into a formal document. She loves a procedure manual. Thank you, Ruthie, for being the first participant of the Sasaki Method. I await my call that you are engaged to that rascal Theodore, and I remind you that a lilac bridesmaid’s dress is what we agreed.
I’m sure you’re not yet convinced about why I am qualified to help you break out of your shell and find that special someone, and truthfully, I have no formal qualifications. I’m not a psychologist. I have had every job from A(utomotive Parts Cataloger) to Z(umba Studio Administrator). But trust me, this is my gift. All I ask is that you go with it wholeheartedly. Eight weeks with me will change your life. You will find the book organized into eight parts, as follows:
TURN-ONS AND DEALBREAKERS
ME, MYSELF, AND I
MELANIE’S MAKEOVER MONTAGE
FIRST DATE MIDPOINT
COMFORTING YOUR REJECTED INNER CHILD
WHAT’S COOKING GOOD-LOOKING
I’M ALL I NEED—BUT YOU CAN JOIN ME IF YOU’RE RESPECTFUL AND SEXY
GRADUATION DAY
I have the Midas touch, and I want to touch you.
(Okay, maybe I’ll revisit that phrasing in the editing process.)
Praise for The Hating Game
“‘Hating someone feels disturbingly similar to being in love,’ says Lucy Hutton, who can’t stand fellow executive assistant Joshua. There’s only one place this could go . . . but it’s good fun getting there.”
—People
“Five feet tall and a total oddball, Lucy carries the plot by being engagingly self-deprecating, quick-witted, and funny . . . The chemistry between Lucy and Joshua is also gratifying, with both seeming like fully conceived characters rather than passive stereotypes. . . . It’s . . . a vibrant take on an old standard.”
—New York Times Book Review
“If you miss romantic comedies, the kind that were so funny, you would pay $15 to see them in the theater . . . this novel will make you very happy indeed. . . . The rising tension and Thorne’s biting dialogue will make you wish for the romantic comedies of days gone by—or just more books like this one.”
—NPR Books
“Sally Thorne satisfies hearts longing for laughter in their love stories. . . . Their battle of wits is tremendously fun—acerbic and sexy and filled with tension. The result is a wicked, witty romance that will capture readers’ hearts long before Joshua manages to capture Lucy’s.”
—Sarah MacLean, New York Times bestselling author
“A brilliant, biting, hilarious new voice. The Hating Game will take the rom-com world by storm. One of the best I’ve read, ever.”
—Kristan Higgins, New York Times bestselling author
Praise for 99 Percent Mine
“Hilarious and heartfelt, smart and sexy—99 Percent Mine has everything I want in a romance! Sally Thorne has quickly become one of my all-time favorite writers, and I can’t wait to see what she writes next!”
—Sarah J. Maas, #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Throne of Glass series and A Court of Thorns and Roses series
“Thorne pours just the right amount of boy next door meets rebel girl into this slow-burn romance . . . [Darcy and Tom’s] sexual chemistry is hard to ignore, and Darcy’s snarky comebacks are the highlight of this novel. . . .”
—Publishers Weekly
“Thorne has crafted a romance that is equal parts funny, heartfelt, and steamy. . . . Hand this to fans of Sophie Kinsella and Christina Lauren, who will savor this compulsi
vely readable romantic comedy.”
—Booklist
Also by Sally Thorne
99 Percent Mine
The Hating Game
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
P.S.™ is a trademark of HarperCollins Publishers.
SECOND FIRST IMPRESSIONS. Copyright © 2021 by Sally Thorne. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
Cover design and illustration by Connie Gabbert
Digital Edition APRIL 2021 ISBN: 978-0-06-291281-7
Version 02122021
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-291285-5 (paperback)
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-300713-0 (hardcover library edition)
About the Publisher
Australia
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