The Middle Road

by K. G. Reuss

  The tension rolls out of me, and I relax in my seat.

  “Yeah, work can be a bitch,” I say, taking a bite of my bagel.

  “Sure can,” Derek mumbles, breathing out a whoosh of air and sinking back into his chair.

  For a moment, I feel awful about my jealousy, then I realize it’s Teddy. The woman of my dreams. And I’m dying. I can be a jealous prick here and there if I want to.

  “Anything you want to do today?” I ask Teddy.

  She cocks her head at me and smirks. “You’re the one who needs to de-stress. Is there anything you’d like to do today?”

  “I’d like to eat some gumbo,” I say thoughtfully. “Never had it before. Maybe hit up Bourbon Street after. Have some drinks. Look at everyone living their best life.”

  “Let’s do it.” Derek grins. “I could use some good food and drink.”

  “I’m game,” Teddy agrees, wiggling in her seat again. Her fingers brush against my leg as she brings her hand off the table to rest on her lap.

  “Sorry,” she says immediately.

  But everything in those green orbs suggests she’s anything but sorry.

  Fourteen

  Teddy

  I order us a Lyft and off we go to Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo. Not that I’m into that particular sort of thing, but being in the medical field has made me acknowledge that this world contains all kinds of weird shit. So, yes, I believe ghosts roam the world, looking to match their bodies back to their souls, and I believe in miracle cures. I also believe in higher powers at play in this world which is why I want to see the Voodoo Museum and get my palm read.

  “Tell me again why we are going to the House of Voodoo?” Derek says nervously as we exit our ride. He takes a picture of the sign hanging over the front entrance. When he peeks inside, he says, “There are skeletons handing from the ceiling…umm, I think I’ll wait out here.”

  “Oh, c’mon Derek. She just wants to get a voodoo doll of Richie and curse him to the seven circles of hell but while he’s here on Earth. Right?” Carter says, elbowing him as we all laugh.

  Little does he know, that’s not a bad idea.

  “I actually want to get my palm read or future told, whatever they may do here. This seems like the perfect place to see what lies ahead for me. Hopefully it’s not too expensive. I’m on a budget.”

  “I’m sure I can wheel and deal them into a two for one deal. Then I’ll get mine done too and pay,” Carter says matter-of-factly, placing his hand on the small of my back to escort me inside. Derek follows closely behind.

  “Hey, check this out. A shrunken head on a string,” Carter exclaims, picking it up and moving its jaw while he laughs eerily.

  Derek takes it from him and hangs it back up.

  “No.” Carter smacks at his arm and takes the skull off the post it was hanging on again. “I want that. We need an RV mascot. It’ll look great hanging from the rearview mirror.”

  “I’m not driving with that thing swaying back and forth hexing me. If you want it, then you can drive.”

  Carter places his mascot into our basket and moves along, picking up different items and commenting while Derek ignores him. We enter another room toward the back, and I see the sign for readings. Ten dollars.

  “Yay! I can afford this. Not sure how much of my future is worth that price, but maybe she can get me through the month. Be right back,” I say. I hear Carter grumble about wanting to pay for me, but I ignore him.

  I approach the half-open curtain. A young woman with bright red, curly hair sits inside, shuffling cards at a small table, and blowing bubbles with her chewing gum.

  She looks up and pops a bubble to speak, “You want a reading?” Her southern drawl is cheery and welcoming.

  I nod and take a seat, laying my ten-dollar bill on the table.

  “Don’t be nervous. Relax. This’ll be fun. I’m Roya, by the way.” She swipes her deep purple fingernails in the air at me as she closes the curtain behind me.

  “I’m Teddy,” I say, my voice quivers as the little curtained room we’re in grows darker and smaller.

  “For ten dollars you get a tarot card reading, for fifteen dollars a palm reading, and for twenty dollars an aura evaluation. So which one are we going with?”

  I slide the ten closer to her. “Tarot,” I confirm. It’s cheaper and will probably yield the same results as a palm reading.

  “And which aspect of your life are we reading today?”

  I look at her wildly. Shit. What do I want to know? “My love life.”

  Amusement glints in her eyes. “Very well.”

  She sets the cards down in front of me. “Touch them please.”

  I do as she asks.

  She shuffles the cards again and aligns them neatly before setting them in front of me again.

  “Please touch them again.” she requests, and I do.

  She shuffles them a third time and fans them out in a large display across the table. “Please run your fingertip from one end of the cards to the other, touching each one.” As I touch the cards, she whispers something I can’t understand and stops when I lift my hand from the table.

  She picks the cards back up, shuffling them one last time and spreads them across the table again. “Pick three cards and hand them to me.”

  Without hesitation, I pick the three cards in the center of the pile. No sense in ruminating over it too long. If it’s truly my future, taking different cards from the spread isn’t going to change it any.

  She picks up the rest of the cards with ease, like a dealer playing blackjack at the casino. “Hmmm, these are interesting.” She shakes her head, her curls bouncing.

  She turns the first card over and pushes it toward me with her fingertips. “This is the Reversed Emperor card. It signifies dominance and rigidity in thinking, suggesting an abuse of authoritative power. It could be from a lover, a boss, or even a father or father-like figure in your life. Does someone hold power over you? Or maybe you hold their thoughts or opinions in such high regard that it’s invisible power over you.”

  “So this card means I have daddy issues?” A mocking laugh escapes my lips. My dad would show up in my tarot reading. He’s smothering my life like a giant squid.

  “Possibly.” She pops a small bubble in her chewing gum before continuing, “You need to consider how much power you give others over your life. Are you trying to please them too much? There are many ways to make others happy without giving up control or taking their power from them. Lead from a place where your personal power is the strongest.”

  “I have no idea what that means.” I sigh heavily. I’m convinced I just wasted ten precious dollars.

  “Find what you’re good at…what you excel at, what makes you happy, and work to live your best life using that power.”

  She flips over the second card and pushes it toward me. It’s an angel. “This is the Upright Temperance card. It’s the card of balance. See where one foot is in the water and the other is on dry land?”

  I nod.

  “The foot in the water represents the subconscious mind. The foot on land represents the material world.” She clicks her long amethyst painted nail on the symbol of the sun on the angel’s forehead. “This means illumination. This card suggests compromise between extremes to maintain a balance, to take the middle road. It shows that we need to balance the ups and down in life with inner and outer awareness.”

  That’s what Carter says I do. I take the middle road. Maybe Roya knows what she’s talking about. A line of worry forms between her eyebrows as she studies the next card. She flips it over to face me and sets it on the table.

  “This is the Upright Fool card.” She slides it forward on the table.

  “Oh, shit. I chose the joker. That’s just perfect,” I say, shaking my head in annoyance.

  “The Fool card is numbered zero in the tarot stack, meaning it has infinite potential. It’s the beginning, if you want to think of it that way. It’s like a blank slate or a new st
art. He’s an optimist and views each day as a new adventure. He believes anything can happen in life and opportunities are around every corner.”

  I sit forward in my seat, studying the card. “But he’s getting ready to walk off a cliff. See?” I point to the little white dog on the card. “The dog here is barking, trying to warn him.”

  “Teddy, you’re a pessimist. You see the negative in this picture, but this isn’t the Reverse Fool card. This card is trying to tell you not to worry about what is or isn’t coming in the future. It suggests that you take one day at a time and enjoy the journey.”

  “That’s easier said than done.” I blow out a long breath thinking. “So the overall picture here is that I need to stop pleasing everyone else. Work on my happiness and enjoy the journey while balancing it with smart decisions.”

  “You’re quick. Believe, Teddy. Have a little faith in the higher powers that place opportunities in front of you.” She pops one final large bubble with her gum before making it snap and pop sharply against her smiling lips.

  “So, the moral of the reading is that things happen for a reason, and I have no control over it. And most of my frustration is because I’m trying to control it. Good to know.” I stand and step toward the curtain.

  “Teddy,” she says softly, and I turn slightly to look at her over my shoulder. “I think the moral of the reading is that you have a new start coming. Take the opportunity to live in that moment. Consider all options before you take action. And realize what it is that YOU want. Once you know that, life should get easier and be more fulfilling.”

  I slide the curtain back and step out into the brightly lit shop. Carter’s sobering handsome face is looking directly at me from across the room. “Hey, where’s Derek?”

  “This place was giving him the heebie jeebies, so he stepped outside. Are you OK?”

  “Yeah, sure. Why do you ask?” I turn sideways from him, picking up a simple doll made of sackcloth from under a sign that reads ‘Voodoo Dolls’. I shake it at him and smile.

  “No reason. You just had a worried look on your face when you came out.”

  “No, it was good. Roya is good, really good actually. You should give it a go. She read tarot cards for my love life.”

  “And did you get the burning heart of love card?” he jokes, elbowing my side teasingly.

  “Stop it. There’s no such card. Here, give me your shrunken head.” I take it and roll my eyes over why he wants this ugly thing. “I’ll hold it while you get your reading. I’m going to go look at the crystals upstairs.” I point to the sign above the staircase showing him where I’ll be.

  Fifteen

  Carter

  Teddy’s been quiet ever since we left the voodoo shop. Her fortune must have hit deeper and been more on target than she expected. I don’t even want to think about my reading. My recent state of being in a bad mood is getting deeper and darker the longer this vacation goes on.

  “I want to go see the Backstreet Cultural Museum,” Derek chimes into my thoughts, pointing to an advertisement for it taped inside a shop on Magazine Street.

  “Please tell me it’s not a museum for the Backstreet Boys.” Teddy and I both groan. Glad I’m not the only one not happy about that idea.

  “Hell no,” he exclaims, shaking his head at us like we’re ridiculous. “Why would I want to see that? Google says it’s this little family run museum showcasing the unique and quirky traditions of New Orleans. The reviews say it’s pretty cool.”

  Derek plugs in the address into his phone for walking directions, and we’re not too far away. When we arrive, we’re greeted by the owner himself who gives us the full-blown tour of everything New Orleans and makes great suggestions for our gumbo dinner. My stomach is already growling just thinking about it.

  “Man, I feel like I’ve lived here my whole life after that tour,” Derek says excitedly. He’s flipping through the pictures he took on his phone already re-living the memories.

  “I’m glad you like it, but I need to sit down.” I throw Derek a mercy look. “My feet are burning with all the walking we’ve done today.”

  Derek opens up his pedometer app showing us the screen. “We’ve walked just over 29,000 steps today. That’s insane.”

  “Yeah, I think that calls for a seat, a beer, and some gumbo,” I announce, punching a few buttons on my Lyft app because I can’t take another step. “Lyft will be here in five minutes.”

  I take a seat on a bench just outside Louis Armstrong Jazz Park and wait, while Teddy and Derek walk over to the street corner and watch some kids beat on a mix of household items like drums for money. It sounds really good, but my head is starting to throb to their beat.

  It’s nearly 5:00 PM. The uncontrollable shaking of my hands only reminds me I need to eat and take my meds. The heat is fucking adding on to my misery and foul mood since we left the voodoo place. Fucking Roya and her Card of Death. When I close my eyes, I’m back in that dark room…

  At first, all I see when she flips over the first card is the white knight and people falling at his feet. They look so happy. Maybe he’s their savior. Hmmm. Maybe I’m on the right path, trying to help those I’m encountering on this journey. I can be their white knight.

  I lean forward and look more closely. Fuck. I home-in on the knight’s face—an aging yellow skull, and I know it isn’t good.

  I peek up at Roya, and her cheerful smile and pink color are fading quickly from her face. She nervously tries to play it off. “Um… that card can mean positivity and um… ah… being like a white knight.”

  I know better. Like Teddy said, I have a monster’s soul and I know a kindred spirit when I see one. Fucking Knight of Death.

  Roya hastily moves on with the next card. It’s a backwards seven of swords or something. It’s kind of cool with an ordinary looking dude carrying a bunch of swords. Maybe it symbolizes I’m fighting for my life, and I’m going to crush the knight’s skull.

  “This card means deception. He’s stealing the swords. See the smug look on his face, it shows his victory. Getting this card may mean that you have the opportunity for some sort of renewal of conscience.”

  I can half buy-in to that train of thought. I mean, I am out here on this adventure doing my best to undo some of my dirty deeds. Apparently, the tarot cards see right through me. I’m nothing but a fraud. God’s going to put my ass on the express elevator to Hades as soon as the Book of Good Deeds is opened, and He only finds one thing under my name…Luke. One’s got to be better than none. Right?

  Church bells ring in the distance, and my phone buzzes in my hand, drawing me out of my mental reverie. I swipe across the screen to see our ride is here as a white Chevy Trailblazer pulls up to the corner. “Teddy, Derek,” I call their names and point toward the street. They toss a few dollars at the boys and head to the car.

  We decide mid-ride to head back to the RV before dinner. Per our driver, the best gumbo in town is Arnaud’s, and Teddy isn’t exactly dressed for the experience. Granted, I like her white, cut-off shorts with the long strings swaying to the motion of her hips. It’s mesmerizing. And her red-striped half shirt just begs me to see if my hands will span the width of her waist, but I’d like to take her somewhere nice to eat while I still can.

  “Let’s get changed to fit the Arnaud’s atmosphere. Dinner is on me tonight,” I announce. Teddy and Derek high-five each other, and that little prick of jealousy I have toward my best friend flicks me in the heart. Motherfucker, it hurts too.

  Within the hour, I call out in the silence of the RV. My voice reverberates off the closed doors back at me. “C’mon, let’s go. I’m wasting away as we speak.”

  Derek’s door opens first, and he’s sporting a nice blue, button-down shirt with a navy paisley tie to match. His blue blazer is lying over his arm.

  “Did you order our ride yet?” he asks, digging in the cabinet. “Because I need to feed Molly.”

  “I already fed her and took her out. She’s sleeping in my room.” />
  “Poor girl. She deserves a whole day at the park, but we should be hitting the road tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take her out in the morning for a long run.”

  Teddy’s door slides open, and she steps out into the hallway facing me. Derek’s back is to her, but he turns when he hears me catch my breath.

  She’s fucking gorgeous.

  She has on a wine-colored halter dress which clings to her long legs. I assume it’s backless from the shape of the front and sides. Jesus Christ, there’s no way she’s wearing a bra under that. A devilish smile spreads across my face, as I step toward her and hold my arm out.

  Her wide eyes bounce back and forth between me and Derek, trying to gauge our opinions.

  “You look beautiful,” I say.

  Derek just whistles, and I smack him on the chest as I pass him to take her arm.

  “Is it too much? It’s the nicest dress I own now since Richie ruined everything else. It’s my graduation slash wedding slash fancy dinner dress.”

  “It’s perfect.”

  She pats her hair, making sure it’s still up and in place where she twisted it.

  “Stop fiddling. You look amazing. Now let’s go eat,” I tell her.

  With perfect timing, my phone buzzes indicating our ride is here.

  God, I wish we were taking the Mercedes out, but it’s a two-seater. Maybe we’ll go for a ride tomorrow while Derek is out with Molly. I’d love to see the outer parishes of the city...just the two of us.

  Sixteen

  Teddy

  I don’t need to have my arm wrapped around Carter’s, but I can’t seem to let go, my want for this enigmatic man growing by the second. Maybe it’s because he pulls me in only to push me back. Maybe I’m a damn glutton for punishment, always wanting the man who’s emotionally unavailable. Everything about Carter’s Google history tells me he doesn’t do relationships.