by K. G. Reuss
“Take care, Carter. I hope we speak again soon.” His words carry more weight than I care to think about.
“Goodbye, Phil.”
Twenty-Seven
Teddy
“I can’t believe you’ve never roasted a marshmallow.” I giggle at Carter as he sits frowning at his burned ‘mallow around our small contained campfire.
“Ain’t a lot of wood and wilderness back home,” Derek says around a mouthful of s’more.
“But still.” I glance at Carter. He’s been acting odd ever since his phone call. Quieter. Withdrawn. “Didn’t you do it on your roof or something?”
“No, sweetheart,” Carter murmurs distractedly. I follow his eyes to the full moon hanging over us. “You can do a lot of things on a roof in New York City. Starting a fire isn’t one of them.”
I shrug before resting my head on his shoulder. Laughter from further down the campsite makes Molly whine.
“Carter, is everything OK?” I ask softly as Derek gives Molly one of her treats.
“Of course, baby,” Carter says, moving his arm so I can tuck up beneath it. His body is warm, yet he’s trembling slightly. He looks exhausted beneath the moonlight. Dark circles create a halo around his dull eyes. He’s slimmer than when we first met.
“Do you want to go to the tent?”
His full lips quirk up into a small smile. “Are you propositioning me, Teddy Bear?”
I smile back. “Maybe. But we can just sleep if you want.”
He shakes his head at me, a frown now replacing his smile. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Tonight, I want all of you.”
My breath catches in my lungs, and I nod at him. I’ve been thinking about it all day long. Having Carter George conquer all of me sounds delicious and dirty. “I want that too.”
“Derek, we’re going to the tent.” Carter doesn’t hesitate and gets to his feet, hauling me with him. Derek’s eyes dart between us, a sly smile on his face.
“I get it. That’s cool. I’ll go check out that other campsite and make some friends. Try to keep it down. I don’t want to have to explain what the hell you two are doing in there.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll be self-explanatory.” Carter grins at Derek.
Heat floods my face as Derek winks at me. Without another word, Carter leads me to our tent and motions for me to go in. I’m grateful it’s a big tent. Something tells me we’re going to need the space.
Carter moves past me once he’s inside and doesn’t waste time removing his clothes. I giggle as he lies on our air mattress and looks up at me.
“Strip for me, baby,” he says in a husky voice, his eyes hooded. “Slowly. I want to savor this.”
I bite my bottom lip. “I’ve never stripped for anyone before.”
“Don’t be shy. It’s me,” his voice is soft, almost pleading with me.
I don’t need him to beg. I want it as much as he does. I’m just nervous.
I swallow down the nerves and breathe out, slowly pulling off my tank top. Carter lets out an appreciative growl, his eyes drinking me in. Heat and desire flood my core as he takes his cock in hand and begins stroking it.
I take my time removing my shorts, leaving my lace panties in place. I’m completely naked except for them. Without overthinking it, I give my breast a squeeze. My hand travels down my abdomen and inside the waistband of my panties until my fingers are sliding through my slick folds, seeking out the sensitive bud that’s begging to be touched.
Carter’s hand moves faster on his cock, his breathing growing heavier. I can’t help myself. The look of pure ecstasy on his face has me dipping my fingers into my own warmth and playing a game I’ve never played with someone before.
I glide my fingers in and out in time to Carter’s rhythm, my breathing shallow and fast. It isn’t long before I’m whimpering, the euphoria of release blanketing me, turned on beyond belief as Carter and I watch each other.
“Do it, baby,” Carter growls, his hand slowing on his cock as he stares at me.
The look of awe in his eyes urges me on. I climb the peak until I’m spiraling over the edge, moaning out his name as my body shakes and trembles.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers in a thick voice as I fall slowly from my high. “Take those panties off and come here.”
Following his commands, I do as he says. I straddle his thighs, grinding against him in a lap dance. His hands land on my waist, his breathing rough and ragged.
“Teddy Bear, you don’t know what you do to me,” he chokes out as I swivel my hips on him. “I’ve never…” his voice trails off as he closes his eyes and leans back.
I place a kiss on his mouth which he eagerly returns, his grip tightening on me.
In a flash, I’m beneath him, his lips on my neck, peppering my skin with his warm kisses. He trails them lower until his lips wrap around my nipple. His hand kneads the other one.
“Carter,” I moan. My fingers sink in his hair as he nips at a peaked bud before continuing his voyage south. His tongue sliding between my folds has me whimpering, my back arched. He lifts my legs onto his shoulders as his tongue works me over. I squirm as my orgasm builds, his fingers twisting inside of me, hitting all the areas that bring me joy.
“Don’t stop,” I whine.
His tongue moves faster on my swollen bud until I’m rocketing out of my mind as an intense orgasm racks my body. He slides his fingers out, his tongue lapping at my wetness. He plants a tender kiss on my overly sensitive area before he’s spreading my legs apart, his cock poised at my entrance.
“Teddy Bear,” he groans, pushing into me.
Our bodies tangle together, our soft moans filling the tent as we make love. Carter is tender and loving as he touches my face, kisses my lips, whispers my name like a prayer. After taking me to heaven and back again, he pulls out and stares down at me.
He doesn’t need to say anything. I roll over and get on my hands and knees. He digs through his bag for a moment and pulls out a small bottle. He drizzles the lube along the cleft of my ass. Goosebumps erupt along my skin as his fingers trail down my spine before they find my puckered hole. He plays and teases it for a moment, slowly inching in and out, spreading the lubricant before positioning the head of his slippery cock at my back entrance. My breathing picks up as my body tenses.
“Relax, baby. I’ll take care of you,” Carter’s deep voice calls out softly.
I relax at the sound. The first pinch of pain causes me to whimper. He’s slow and careful as he continues to push into me. I grit my teeth, close my eyes, and collapse onto my forearms, angling my ass higher. He pushes further in, groaning. He fills me completely, stretching me, making my body tremble.
“You’re so fucking amazing,” he whispers against my ear. His lips meet my shoulder, kissing it before he moves away and slowly pulls out a fraction before pushing back into me.
My fingers twist in our blankets as I let out a hiss of air. He moves more. In and out. I let out a whimper.
“You OK?” he manages to rasp.
“Y-yes. More.”
That’s all he needs to hear before he’s moving faster. There are so many emotions and sensations flooding my body I can’t contain them all. I moan his name loudly, a signal for him to give it to me harder and faster.
He senses it and does just that, his hands tightening on my hips, his cock buried deep inside of me. A feeling unlike any I’ve ever had before surfaces. It’s a tingle that blossoms, growing into a sensation which has me howling in ecstasy. An orgasm erupts so powerful my entire body quakes and twitches beneath Carter’s.
“Fuck,” he hisses, moving faster. “Teddy!”
I’m still whimpering and trembling when I feel Carter’s dick twitch inside of me, signaling his release. His movements slow before his lips press to my temple. We’re both still for a moment, our intense breathing filling the air, before he withdraws from me. I don’t move. I’m trembling too much.
A moment later, he wipes me clean and t
ugs me into his strong arms.
“You’re shaking,” he murmurs, tucking me against him. He pulls the light blanket over us.
“You just made me feel really good,” I admit in a quivering voice. “I’ve never done that before.”
“Me either,” he says, planting a sweet kiss on my forehead. “You took my virginity.”
I let out a snort, causing him to laugh. Snuggling up against him, I feel like maybe I finally have things figured out. Being with Carter feels right.
“I’ve been thinking,” Carter says, planting a tender kiss on the top of my head.
“Hmm?”
“You said you don’t talk to your parents much. That you have a rocky relationship with your dad.”
I move up to my elbow and stare into Carter’s face, wondering what he’s getting at.
He reaches out and twists a lock of my hair around his finger.
“I think you should call your dad.”
“What?” I crinkle my brows at him. “Why?”
“It’s just…I was never close to my dad. Hell, I wasn’t even close to my mother. I never really got the opportunity for normal family dynamics. I want you to have the things I never had. The way you’ve spoken about your family, I know you miss them—”
“Carter, my dad wants his life for me. And I want my own life—”
“Teddy Bear,” he murmurs, his brown eyes glittering in the dim tent. “I think your dad wants your happiness. He pushed because he loves you. Not because he wants your misery.”
I bite my bottom lip. Damn Carter George and his reasoning.
“Make me a promise?”
“What’s that?” I ask softly, taking in how incredibly sad and worn out he looks. A pang of worry shoots through me.
“That you’ll call your dad and talk to him. I don’t want you to be alone.”
My heart bangs painfully against my chest. “Why would I be alone? I have you.”
“You do have me, baby. You’ll always have me. But you’re going to need your family soon. I want you to be able to have that. So for me, please call them?” he pleads softly, his voice cracking.
I can’t argue with him. I don’t know if it’s the way he’s looking at me or the realization of how much I miss my family that has me nodding wordlessly, willing to give this man anything I can just to see him smile.
“Say it,” he commands in a low, intense growl. “Promise me.”
“I promise. I’ll call them tomorrow.”
A slow, content smile graces his lips, and he relaxes against his pillow, tugging me closer to him. I breathe out in relief. Carter is fierce in everything he does. I wonder how my dad will take me calling him. My calls are usually to my mom, my older brother, or younger sister, and even those aren’t coming along as often as they once did. My father and my stubbornness have really put a wedge in our family dynamics. Growing up was tough with my dad pushing us so hard, but he always was a good dad, albeit a bit rigid. Carter is right, though. I need my family. Sitting there thinking about it makes me ache inside, the hollowness of always being alone making me swallow down tears.
“Teddy?” Carter’s voice is soft and tentative as he pulls me away from my morose thoughts.
“Mm?”
“What’s wrong, baby? Did I upset you?”
“No,” I answer, placing a tender kiss on his lips. “You’re right. I do miss my family. But I’m afraid.”
“Of what?” His warm fingertips trace circles on my skin, making goosebumps erupt.
“I don’t know. I guess that maybe I waited too long.”
“As long as there is a breath to breathe, there’s still time, sweetheart. I promise you that. Just don’t wait while you’re holding your last one. Trust me. I missed out on a lot with my own family because I waited too long.”
“Your parents loved you too, Carter.”
“In their own way, I’m sure,” he murmurs. “I probably could’ve made things better with my old man, but he was a stubborn old coot. I’m my dad’s son, that’s for sure.” A soft chuckle escapes him.
“And your mom?”
“My mom was a good mom while she was around. I mean, I didn’t get hugged a lot as I grew older or praised, but she made sure I had someone there to feed me and go to my school functions.”
I wrinkle my nose at his words.
“I don’t even know what to say to that, Carter.”
“There’s nothing to say. My dad was cold to her too. Her parents the same. She gave me the love she knew.” He shrugs and looks down as he twines his fingers with mine. “I always thought I was a product of my environment. That I’m the way I am because of them.”
“You are,” I say, squeezing his hand.
His eyes widen as he takes me in, clearly not expecting my response.
“Have you ever thought that maybe you’re as wonderful as you are because of them?”
He scoffs at my words. “I’m not wonderful, Teddy. I’m a monster. If you knew me, the man I was b-before—”
“I know the man you are now. You’ve always been that man, Carter. I know it in my heart. So, don’t tell me any different. I won’t believe it of you. Ever.”
“You’re so amazing, Teddy Bear.” His lips find mine, his kiss deep and fierce, taking my breath away. When he breaks away, we’re both left breathing hard.
“I want you to know you’ve changed my entire world. Thank you.”
I look up at him. His eyes are shining, his lips parted.
“You’re welcome, Carter, but you changed mine too.” I cup his cheek, searching his face for any sort of answer he’s willing to give me about what’s really going on with him.
A smile touches his lips.
“I’ll die a happy man then.”
His words send a current of fear through me.
“Carter, don’t say that.”
“Say what, baby?”
“Please, tell me what’s wrong. I know you’re sick.”
He tenses against me, confirming my suspicions.
“I’m so worried about you—”
“Don’t be. Let’s just enjoy our time together.”
“How much time do we have?” I whisper through the silence.
He thumbs my bottom lip, his brows knit.
“I don’t know,” his voice shakes. “But I want you to know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Teddy. I’d have married you so hard.”
He wipes at a tear that slips from my eye.
“I love you, Carter.” I don’t hesitate with the words. I’ve loved him since the moment I saw him. When you find your special someone, time doesn’t matter. We haven’t spent twenty years together, but every moment has been a lifetime. In my heart I know we’re meant to be. A smile graces his lips as he closes his eyes. A moment later, he opens them.
“I love you too, Teddy Bear.”
Diary
Day…40? 41? 45?
Damn it. I don’t remember how long it’s been. I guess it doesn’t matter.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what Phil said. After last night with Teddy, I’ve decided I’m going to let go. I’m going to die. I’m not going to seek the treatment. I’m here right now. I want to take advantage of it. I want to be with Teddy. I know, I’m a damn fool. But I keep thinking if I take the chance on this surgery, it might ruin my remaining days. I might die faster. I don’t want that.
But I need to come clean with her. I think I did a bit last night. I chickened out when I saw the heartbreak on her face. God, what is she going to do when I’m gone? Who will take care of her?
The thought has kept me up most of the night, watching her sleep, my mind on overdrive with how I can set her up so she can play her music without worrying about bills and money. I’m going to talk to Derek about looking after her when I’m gone. I know they’ve grown close. I know he’ll make sure she isn’t alone when the time comes.
So, let this be my testament:
I hereby declare that Teddy is to receive my esta
tes, the contents, all my property: cars, boats, summer homes, bank accounts, safety deposit boxes, everything with my name on it. It’s hers. I trust her with my life and leave her with the power to decide my fate.
I’ll be sure to make this final with my lawyers later today.
Did I mention I don’t want to die?
I’m also not ready to leave our campsite. I want to stay here with my Teddy Bear, Molly, and Derek. I want to watch the sun set a few more times with my girl in my arms, my best friend at my side, and Molly wagging her tail. I’m going to tell everyone we’ll put off our rafting trip for another day or two.
The end is near for Carter Anthony George. I can feel it.
Twenty-Eight
Carter
The early morning desert chill makes me want to crawl back into the tent and cuddle with Teddy, but the vague dream I had about my mother has me up at 6:18 AM, tossing my phone back and forth from one hand to another. I’ve scrolled to her name a dozen times. Laura.
After spending a chunk of time last night preaching to Teddy about family, I don’t feel good about continuing to ignore the only family I have.
I run the pad of my thumb over the screen, debating on calling. It’s 9:18 AM in Boston. Fuck it.
I press dial and wait for a response.
“Carter?” Mom’s voice lilts upward in surprise.
“Mom,” my voice cracks into a whimper. I forgot how angelic her voice is.
“What’s wrong? Is everything OK?”
I blink back the flood of tears rushing the borders of my eyelids. I hadn’t expected the conversation to turn into a damn blubber fest so early in the game. “I’m sick, Mom. I’ve got what Dad had.” She doesn’t respond. I look at the phone and make sure I didn’t lose her because of the weak connection in this park. “Mom, did you hear me?”
“Carter,” she chokes out.
Another long silence extends between us, but her ragged breathing still puffs into the phone.