The Nectar of Pain
Page 10
You are not too much of
anything.
Maybe you are too much
love,
too much
care, or
too much
innocence.
But that, there can never be
too much of.
In fact, the world is
suffering
from people who have
too little of that.
He was the best thing that
never happened to you.
And you will one day be
a choking tear
in his heart
that he is too proud to
admit
was the best thing that could have
ever
happened to him.
OceanofPDF.com
My heart tells me what
I don’t want to hear.
That is why I listen to it.
What we want to hear
is always safe
and comfortable.
It is not always the truth.
So I’ve learned to listen
to what makes me uncomfortable
because I would rather
listen
to the truth by my own will
than be forced to believe it
after it hurts me.
OceanofPDF.com
You were not addicted to their
love.
You were addicted to their
pain.
And when their pain
left,
their love for you
left.
If their love for you
depends on what you
offer them,
it’s not love.
It’s abuse.
You deserve to be loved
for who you are,
even when you are
unable to give.
OceanofPDF.com
Be kind, because that is
who you are.
Do not allow the ignorance of
others to make you
like them.
They are not you.
OceanofPDF.com
So one person let you go.
One place let you go.
One idea let you go.
One dream gave up on you.
What about all the other people?
All the other places?
All the other ideas and dreams?
Are they not worth the chances that
you took
once
before?
OceanofPDF.com
I always imagined that
falling in love would
touch my soul before my body.
I always imagined that it would
value the beauty
inside of me before
the color of my eyes,
the fairness of my skin,
or the lipstick I chose to wear.
I always imagined that love would free me, not
enslave me.
Love to me is
pure. It is
elevating. It is
empowering. So if you don’t
have that kind of love for me, then
walk away.
I will not settle for less than what
my soul is worth.
OceanofPDF.com
Unrequited Love
If I love you,
I will tell you that I love you.
And if you choose to leave,
I might beg you to stay
because
I love you.
But I cannot make you stay
if you choose to walk away.
Rest assured,
I will not pretend not to care
just to deny that you were the one to leave.
I’d rather love you and not be loved
in return by you,
and crumble in my pain over
the loss of love with you,
than pretend that my love for you
was a lie.
My strength does not come from
my pride.
It comes from my vulnerability
to break my heart open
when it is broken.
OceanofPDF.com
I don’t miss
you.
I miss
the person I thought you were.
I did not love
you.
I loved
the person you pretended to be.
When I feel lost,
I doubt every feeling
I ever felt.
OceanofPDF.com
If their love one day
turns out to be
just words,
don’t doubt for
a moment that you
should walk away.
And these are not
just words.
When I reminded you of
things you used to say,
you said:
“Just words.”
OceanofPDF.com
Maybe you will live with the regret
of allowing yourself to allow
someone to put you down
and use you.
But they will one day live
with the regret
of putting someone down and
using them.
Maybe you will live with the
pain
of their words.
And maybe you will live with the
pain
of seeing them move on and go places.
But they will one day live with
the regret of using the wrong words
with you.
And they will move on to hurt
the next person.
The places they will go are nothing
because they are empty of emotion.
Their places may be grand, but
their lives are small,
so small.
You are bigger than their pain.
You are bigger than their words.
You are bigger than worrying about
where they are.
Look at your own path.
Forgive me for writing so negatively
about you.
You have love within you.
You just haven’t chosen to
awaken it
yet.
OceanofPDF.com
You took me out of your
sky.
So I took you out of my
universe.
I feel free.
OceanofPDF.com
Drown me in darkness
so that I may
rise lightly
in light.
OceanofPDF.com
Love the hatred out of them.
If you hate them for
the hatred that they have for
you,
how will you teach them
what love truly is?
OceanofPDF.com
With tears in my eyes one night,
I told the stars
about you.
They listened to me as if
they had known you for
years.
They told me that I was not
the first one who had spoken to them
of your pain.
They told me to let you go, because
you had so much more pain to inflict
upon me, as you had on
others.
I listened to them and
let you go.
And a wish upon a shooting star sent me
the person I always wished for.
Me.
OceanofPDF.com
It hurts when
the one who broke your wings is
the one with the electric wire.
Every time you
heal a little and try to
fly again, they
break you even harder.
And every time you
try to speak, they
<
br /> break your soul again
even harder.
Your soul is a bird, love.
Take a few steps away from
the pain and
fly away.
OceanofPDF.com
To the one who broke me,
and I hope you read this
one day:
Break,
break,
break me as much as you want.
Crack my heart
as many times as it takes
for your ego to
feel as strong as you want it to be.
That is all you will ever be;
a soul who chose to break
instead of heal.
Time has destined for you
to have power over me,
but time will turn around,
as karma does,
and I will one day have the power to
chain you,
belittle you
and use you
as you used me.
I will have that power
and instead of using it,
I will leave you
and instead of shattering your ego
some more,
I will sew it back together.
You see,
when my parents raised me,
they cautioned me of men like you.
I will not dishonor them
by wasting my heart on hurting
a nothing
like you.
OceanofPDF.com
I know that you want to
see them hurt
the way they hurt you.
But, believe me,
you are above that.
For them to hurt you,
they must have
pain
inside of them.
They don’t need to be hurt.
They need to be healed.
I am not telling you that
it’s fair for them to get
away with hurting you.
Just be the bigger,
wiser,
more understanding
person.
Don’t let them make you
like them.
Wish them healing.
Wish them love.
And walk away.
Even if they chose to walk away
first.
They need to find their way.
You causing them pain
only makes you worse
and them worse.
If you can’t do good for this
world,
then stand still.
But you know that
you are
better than that.
OceanofPDF.com
You told me what you
did not mean and then
punished me for
believing it.
And when I told you that
it was unfair, you
told me that life
is unfair.
People like you blame
anyone but themselves for
the choices
that they choose to make.
If it’s not life,
it’s a person, and
if it’s not a person,
it’s life. But
never you.
If you want to occupy a place
in my heart,
step one is to
be honest
with me.
Otherwise, turn the other way.
I only build homes in
my heart for
sincere humans.
OceanofPDF.com
Why are you
so quiet?
The ocean within
you
is raging.
Let your words
flow.
Let your soul
scream
gently,
kindly,
softly.
There is a part of you
that is so ready for this change.
You know it.
Just go ahead.
Wonder is
awaiting
you.
Take the risk.
OceanofPDF.com
It is not their true
colors that you suddenly
see.
Their colors were always
there.
It is your eyes that
colored them
with kindness.
Yet their silence
somehow
convinces you that
something is wrong with
you.
OceanofPDF.com
You will always be
my saddest goodbye.
And the most heartbreaking
story I will ever tell.
You will always be
the hardest lesson I had
to learn
when I did not want to
and
the reason I learned
to never
put someone before me.
You will always be
the best thing that
never
happened to me.
Thank you for walking away.
If you had not let go of me,
I would not have
what I have
today.
I would not be
who I am
today.
OceanofPDF.com
If they already broke you,
why are you still broken while
they are already breaking someone
else?
Start building your own
empire.
OceanofPDF.com
Sometimes,
a stranger can
look into your eyes
once
and not only see,
but fully understand
your sadness.
No words.
No conversations.
You just both know.
You just both get it.
And you wonder how it took
moments for a stranger
to see what those around you,
for years,
did not see.
Our eyes reflect the scars
carved into our souls.
OceanofPDF.com
It is not their love that you need.
It is your love for yourself that
you need.
I will repeat this as many times
as it takes
for you
to
believe it.
OceanofPDF.com
I was not ready for you to
let me go. You
were not ready for someone to
hold on to
you. I
hated you for giving up on me.
And you hated me for reminding you that
you are so scared of love. I
consider myself the hero for
taking a risk on you and
you the coward for
awakening someone’s heart with
no intention of continuing the
journey.
I salute you.
Sarcasm has always irritated me, but
your tone must have
tainted my ability to
weigh my words properly.
OceanofPDF.com
To the man who once said he
loved me:
I did not ask you to
pretend
to understand me.
I did not ask you to
say that you would stay.
I did not ask you
to ask
me
to love
you.
But you did.
And I thought you understood me.
I thought you’d stay.
I thought your love would last.
But my soul became too heavy on you.
You walked away.
You left me wondering
why y
ou chose someone broken
like me
to break even
more.
Even if you say you never intended
it,
I am still broken.
OceanofPDF.com
We all know that if it's not meant to be,
it will not happen.
If it's meant to be,
it will.
We all know that everything
happens for a reason.
And one day, we will know that reason.
What we need is strength
in the moment
to think that way.
It should not be easy
to not get what you want to get.
It should not be easy
to not be loved back.
It should not be easy
to work hard and not reach your destination.
It's okay to feel pain.
It takes time to accept realities
that we don't want to accept.
And just because reality is painful,
it does not mean that you are not
worthy of good things coming your way.
It means that you
must change the direction
that you are looking in.
OceanofPDF.com
I always wished that you
gave me a chance to show you
what life with me
would be like.
Now that I see what life
without you is like,
I understand why fate
never answered my wish.
You see, fate took care of me, and
you helped it by
causing the pain that you