Always & Only (Angels and Sunshine Book 1)

by Gabrielle G.

  He seems pensive for a moment. “What do you want to do? Are you ready to move heaven and earth, or are you giving up? Are you fighting for the love of your life or letting him go?”

  “I want to find him, but I have no idea where to start!”

  “What was my third point, Julie?”

  I rack my brain. “You heard a rumor…?”

  “Bingo! Do you want to hear it?”

  I nod. I hope for Luke’s sake it’s Ian-related, because I’m ready to strangle him with an empty candy package.

  “Are you willing to get your man?”

  I nod again.

  “So… my mentor retired in a little city north of Detroit called Grosse Pointe Shore Village. Have you heard of it?”

  The name sounds familiar, but I don’t recall why.

  Luke continues. “From what I heard, it’s a small, picturesque village where everybody knows everybody, especially the two families that have lived there for generations. The Crawfords and the Porters…”

  My ears perk up at Ian’s surname.

  “Anyway, it seems that last week, someone important arrived in town, but the residents, being overprotective of their local celebrity, didn’t peep a word. Then a certain story went viral, and there was a lot of hushed whispers, wondering if the Porters’ son saw it. It didn’t seem so until yesterday, when my mentor had a run-in with said celebrity, who asked him if he was still tattooing and would he be able to ink him once he was ready. It seems strange, but that’s all I know.”

  I can’t believe what Luke is telling me. Ian is at his parents’ house in Michigan? Of all the places, he went home? This is very good and very bad. It means he’s in the country and I can go to him if I want to, but it also means he has Wi-Fi and access to the news, so he’s ignoring my love declaration. In a way, I would have preferred him to be out of range in a land far, far away in the middle of nowhere…

  “Why are you not saying Ian’s name?” I ask suspiciously.

  “I thought we were doing it Voldemort-style and I shouldn’t speak his name,” he says with a pout.

  I burst out laughing. This man is ridiculously cute. “Did I understand you correctly? Ian is in Michigan?”

  “Yep. He is. So what’s our plan?”

  “Our plan? Luke, I—”

  He pinches my lips to shut me up. “Stop right there! I’m the one who engraved those words on your body. I will help you get the guy.”

  “But… but why?” Which sounds more like “boo boo oiiii” because of his fingers.

  “Just because I like you, I guess, and everybody needs me as a friend. I’m an excellent friend!”

  I laugh at his confidence.

  “Look, sweetheart, I want to help.”

  I freeze at his words. “Please don’t call me sweetheart.”

  “An ex?”

  “Something like that…”

  He nods.“So what do you say, missy? Let’s go get your guy?”

  “Okay! Let’s go get my guy.”

  Of course it isn’t that easy. All flights to Detroit are booked for the next three days. There might be a feline convention in Tigertown. I text Virginia for an update and, let’s hope, an address.

  Me: Hey Virge! Could I get your parents’ address? I’m going after Ian. BTW you could have told me where he was!

  Virginia: Jules, I don’t really owe you anything. We’re not really friends you know. Are you going to break his heart?

  Me: Of course not! I’m gonna make him get his head out of his ass!

  Virginia: That’s grand coming from you! How are you getting there? Dex and I are leaving in one hour on a private plane. Want to join?

  Me: Yes! But I’m not alone.

  Virginia: Do I want to know?

  Me : It’s my friend Luke. Single and sexy tattoo artist.

  Virginia: Be my guest then.

  Once on the private plane, awkwardness settles in. I have no idea how Dex has access to so much money all the time, and since he’s eyeing me suspiciously, I’m not going to ask him. His nose is buried in his phone—he’s probably working, but I prefer to think he’s watching porn. It humanizes him a little.

  Asher is also with us. He seems unhappy to be part of the trip. Dex and his mom are telling him it’ll be great for him to see his grandparents. In answer, he pushes his beanie over his eyes and pretends to sleep. You’d think that kid was thirteen, not eighteen…

  Virginia is keeping her eyes on Luke. I can see she appreciates what he has to offer. He’s wearing a tight T-shirt that shows the beautiful wings of the tribal bird tattoo on his right bicep and his full sleeve tattoo on the left. If I’m not mistaken, he keeps looking at Virge and Dex and checking her out.

  I nudge his elbow. “Something you like?”

  He grunts. “We’re not from the same world. It would never work.”

  “Let me help!” I stand and walk to Virginia and Dex. “Hey, Virginia, would you mind swapping seats for a while? I need to clear the air with Dex.”

  Virginia nods and mumbles good luck. I sit next to Mister Grouchy. Luke and Virginia converse right away, as if they’ve known each other for a while. I’m not surprised. Luke is super easy to get along with.

  Dex snorts and goes back to his phone. I look at him, wondering how to tame the beast.

  “What do you want, Julie?” he says, his nose still in his screen.

  “Nothing. Only wanted to give Luke and Virginia a chance to connect.”

  Dex laughs. “Not going to happen.”

  “Why? They would make a lovely couple.”

  He snorts again. “If you say so…”

  “Are you ever going to like me, Dex?”

  “If you can’t figure out where you stand with me, stop standing and start walking!”

  “Wow, Dex, you’re a real prick! Do you believe by being a prick to me, Ian will stay away? Do you think he’s so loyal to you that if you don’t like me, we have no chance? Did it work until now?” I ask him with a cattish smile.

  “And it’s not by pissing me off that I’ll speak highly of you. Ian is my client, my best friend, and my brother. I’d say my spot in his life is more permanent than yours.”

  “So that’s what this is about? You’re afraid to lose him? I won’t take him from you.”

  “I like your smart mouth, Julie. We might get along more than you think. I’ll decide if I like you depending on how Ian reacts when he sees you. But break his heart again, and you can kiss your reputation goodbye. I will make your life a living hell.” Dex’s tone is scary, and his eyes are icy cold, like Asher’s the last time I saw him.

  Dex dismisses me by burying his head in his phone. Asher, the asshat, chuckles before his lips turn up in a condescending smile. Virginia and Luke are speaking about trends in tattoos, and her hands are all over his arms. I can’t ask her to change seats again, so I stay put next to Dex and his pristine suit. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep as well. Maybe Asher had the right idea from the beginning.

  25 Ian

  I haven’t lived with my parents for a very long time, and doing so is excruciating. My mother is hovering to make sure I’m fine, which means she’s literally asking me if I’m okay every two seconds because my asshole twin told her the whole backstory about Julie. Of course my mother told my father, and he’s telling me over and over that there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. It’s maddening to me, but Mom’s cooking and Dad’s booze make it better in the end.

  After I sold everything in a whim and wanted to disappear, Grosse Pointe Shore was the safest place me. My family has been part of the village for over a century, and nobody really cares about my celebrity status. They’re proud of me, yes. They’ll ask for autographs, yes. But they’ll also ask how Dex and Virginia are doing and how life in LA could be better than here when they live in paradise on Earth. They also don’t forget the shenanigans Dex and I got into as teens and laugh at my expense. The whole village is family.

  When I arrived, I decided I’d stay a week before
flying to New York to start filming. I’m not an asshole and I won’t break Julie’s dream, even if she destroyed me. I’ll ask her to step away while I direct so I won’t have to deal with her. Well, I’ll ask Dex to tell her because I don’t want to hear her voice, see her, or talk to her. I need to heal my wounds, and being in my hometown, unplugged without a phone, is the best remedy. I haven’t talked to Virginia or Dex since I arrived, haven’t checked any social media or emails. I am finding myself again and almost forgetting the heartbreak—I’m lying to myself, but if I repeat it enough times, it might become true.

  As I’m soul-searching, or whatever what I’m doing is called, I finally decide to get the tattoo I’ve always wanted. It’s a Latin phrase, Eheu fugaces labuntur anni. It’s a quote from Horace that means, “Alas! The fleeting years slip by.” It always resonated with me, but it’s even more on point with my state of mind these days. It’s an acceptance of life and death, of time passing without having any power over it. It is a form of accepting what comes to you and dealing with what you get and moving on. As I said, appropriate.

  I didn’t want to go to Detroit and re-enter the circus of my life just yet, so I asked around if there was a tattoo shop nearby. I found out a retired tattoo artist is living in Grosse Pointe, and I talked with him. He still does jobs here and there, but he doesn’t have a shop anymore. He said he’ll put me in contact with the best tattoo artist in LA if I want to wait, but I don’t even know if I’m gonna live there. I wasn’t going to share that though, so I told him I’d give him a call once I’m ready to get inked.

  I am sucking on a beer on my parents’ couch, absently watching Netflix, when the front door opens and Virginia comes in, followed by Asher and Dex. I grunt to acknowledge their presence, knowing they’re here to kick my ass. The fact that I’m all packed and ready to leave tomorrow for New York doesn’t matter to them. All I asked for was one week of nothing, but they can’t let anything go. And let's not focus on Asher, who is interested in my shit all of a sudden—certainly because my misery is entertaining to him.

  Not saying a word, they sit on the couch. Dex takes the beer out of my hand and pins me with one of his “Don’t fuck with me and listen” looks. Virginia elbows me and points at Dex for me to focus on whatever lecture my wonderful best friend is about to deliver. Asher smiles like the sadistic maniac he is.

  “Sulking is over. She loves you, you love her. Go get her!”

  I snort at Dex’s speech. “She loves me, right.” I take my beer back and chug it.

  Asher raises one eyebrow as if the dickhead is slightly impressed by my lack of manners.

  “While you’re here, you can tell her I will still direct and play in her movie, but I don’t really want to discuss anything with her. She can take it or leave it.” I go for a second beer—I have a six-pack on the floor, don’t judge—but Asher takes it and throws his phone at my face instead. I am fast enough to protect my face and catch it.

  He glares at me with amusement. “Dear Uncle Dickhead, please check the Insta of the old lady. You’ll see she does love you.”

  I look at him, confused, which irritates Virginia. She rips the phone from my hand, taps on it, and shoves it back in my face, showing me Jules’s Instagram. My heart stops. The last picture was posted four days ago.

  “If this is a joke, Asher, it’s the worst prank ever!”

  “I know my son is a dickhead to you, Ian, but do you believe I would let him be that cruel?” she says, shaking her head.

  I guess she’s disappointed I could think so little of her serial killer progeny. They both turn to Dex, who gets a phone from his back pocket and hands it to me.

  “This is your new phone, dumbass. I programmed all your social media and emails, as well as your address book. Are you going to stay miserable or show Julie that you care?”

  The three of them look at me, waiting for my next move.

  I turn to Asher. “What should I do?”

  The corners of his lips turns up, and he looks like a proud peacock because I’m asking for his help. He gets up and paces, tapping his index finger against his lips. “What should Uncle Dickhead do… good question…”

  “Asher!” Dex says in a menacing voice.

  Asher turns to me, his eyes full of mischief. “I know! You could go in the kitchen and talk to her!”

  It takes me a few seconds to realize what he just said. Jules is here. In the house I grew up in. As if a fire has been lit under my ass, I run to the kitchen. When I enter, all I see is a huge tattooed man sitting next to Julie in my parents’ kitchen, holding her hand. Jealousy tightens my throat and anger rushes to my brain, but Julie stands and comes closer to me. She puts her hands on my furious fists and rubs my knuckle slowly. She finds my gaze, and once she holds it, she gives me a reassuring smile. I couldn’t tell you what she’s wearing. All I see are her soft eyes and beautiful smile.

  “Luke, could you join the others please?” she says without looking at him.

  The fucker leaves, shaking his head and laughing at my expense.

  “Hey, Ian. You aren’t easy to find, babe.”

  I don’t think she’s ever called me babe. My chest fills with love, melting away the wall I built in the past week to protect my weakened heart.

  “What are you doing here Jules?” I say in a shaky voice.

  I’m about to lose it. I want to kiss her, but I need to hear her words first. Or do I? I’m pretty sure that having her here means that she wants me.

  I blink. I’m distracted by the confusion in my brain. How did she know where to find me? Did Virginia bring her here? Would Dex help Julie?

  She caresses my face, bringing me back to her. “I’m sorry. I freaked out. I can’t promise it will never happen again, but I love you and—”

  I don’t let her finish before I bring my lips to hers. Her words don’t matter. How she arrived in Grosse Pointe doesn’t matter. What matters is that she’s here, and I don’t want to lose another minute of our story saying things that don’t matter. What matters is that I love her and she loves me. We’ll figure out the rest later. I need to taste her, to kiss her, to fuck her, to have her. Now.

  One of my hands fists her hair while the other grabs her ass. I deepen the kiss and she opens her mouth, sliding her tongue onto mine. She tastes like home and I feel complete again, as if each rip of my heart and soul are healing with each twirl of our tongues. I back her against the counter and lift her to set her on it.

  We have a thing for kitchens, that’s for sure.

  She opens her legs to let me step closer, and I nudge my erect dick against her core. I can feel her warmth even through our pants. She moans when my hand slips against her breasts.

  “I need you inside me,” she says.

  As my thumb grazes her nipple, I hear my dad’s warning tone that I know too well. I heard it for years when I was a little punk. “House rules, Ian! Not in the kitchen!”

  I break the kiss and laugh against her mouth as I remember all the rules my parents had. That rule was never directed at me, but I heard it numerous times when he warned Virginia and Clay. No making out in the kitchen.

  I glance at Julie, and she looks horrified. Feels as though I’m seventeen again. “Don’t worry, he won’t come in.”

  I tug Jules off the counter by her hand and drag her outside. I used to spend lots of time on our family boat when I was younger. It was the only way to get any privacy. Thankfully, the marina is close by.

  “Where are we going?”

  I smile at her. No way I’m telling her where we’re going. I finally take the time to look at Julie. She’s as beautiful as always. She’s wearing my favorite outfit—sweatpants and a hockey T-shirt—but her clothes don’t fit properly anymore, and she has dark circles under her eyes.

  “Fuck, sunshine! I’m sorry. It looks like I wasn’t the only one hurting,” I say, bringing her into my arms.

  “Well, between losing Ryan and then you, I hit a rough patch, but I made a new friend.”
>
  I kiss her nose. “About that… who’s that guy?”

  “Luke? He’s my tattoo artist. He was there when nobody else was.” She shrugs.

  Guilt spread in my guts. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have run.”

  “Without you giving up on me, I wouldn’t have realized how much I loved you. I needed it. Once I acknowledged how strong my feelings were for you, I couldn’t function properly. Yes, your silence broke me. I almost gave up until Luke stepped in. If I’m here today, it’s thanks to him. He made it possible. You have to understand, you’re it for me. It took me a long time to get it, but I need you in my life. You are my oxygen. Please be mine.”

  I kiss her while my brain processes all she said. I stop when one piece of information falls into place. “The fucking tattoo artist. He told me he knew the best one in LA. That’s Luke, right? It’s thanks to him you’re here?”

  She nods. I lift her T-shirt to see her new tattoo proclaiming she’s mine. More pride fills my chest, and my brain explodes. Lust invades me. I can’t think straight anymore. Always & Only Yours. “Sunshine, this is making me so hard!”

  Her eyes are burning with desire. She reaches for my jeans and tugs them open, freeing my cock. “Going commando?”

  “Forgot to pack underwear,” I say, ashamed of myself. “They’re in storage with the rest of my shit.”

  Her hand squeezes my length, and I groan, afraid to let my load loose in her hands.

  “Wait a minute,” I say, zipping myself back.

  We finally go onboard the boat, and I snatch a few ropes from the bench where we normally store them.

  “Where are we going to live?” she asks while shoving her hand in my pants again.

  I find her earlobe and nibble it while my other hand pulls down her sweatpants. “Wherever you want, sunshine. I’ll follow you. I don’t care as long as I’m with you and we have a kitchen to fuck in and ropes to play with.”

  She squeezes my dick again and pinches my ass while I undress her. I let my T-shirt go but keep my pants in place. I need her to abandon herself to me again, to show me she can be fully mine.