Truly

by Carmel Rhodes

  Our hearts beat in tandem. It’s our last night in this little bubble we’ve created, and while Noah assures me nothing will change once we get back to Newton, I’m not naive enough to believe that it’s true. Being out here isn’t real life. Things will change. We won’t spend every waking moment together. Old insecurities will arise. We’ll have to deal with his friends, and Devin, and school in the fall. All of it will have an impact on our relationship. It’s inevitable. I just hope we are strong enough to weather the storm.

  His fingertips caress the small of my back, bringing me back to the here and now. His touch ignites a fire low in my belly that spreads throughout my whole body. Pressing my palms into the mattress, I lift up just enough for our mouths to meet. His lips part and my tongue dives between the two plush pillows. He tastes of mint and Noah, and I crave more. Noah is an alpha both on and off the court. He leads, and everyone else follows. It’s heady, having this beautiful boy beneath me, trapped between my thighs, as I take from him for a change.

  Our tongues dance and his hands dip beneath the waistband of my panties. His fingers slide down the crack of my ass and my body tenses. “Not such a badass, now are you?”

  “It’s isn’t your birthday.” I nip at his bottom lip, then at the scar on his chin, not quite ready to give up control. I kiss and bite my way down his body, paying special attention to the faith tattoo over his heart. Just when I reach the light smattering of hair arrowing down, a loud bang at the door startles me.

  Panicked, I stare up at Noah, unsure of what to do.

  He jumps out of the bed and pulls on a pair of gym shorts. “Stay put.” Before he can make it to the door, I hear a strangled moan that sounds like my best friend.

  “Truly.” Becca’s broken sobs seep from the other side of the door. I jump up, grab the hoodie draped over the table and brush past Noah, yanking open the door. Becca stands there with blotchy, tear-stained cheeks and a white-knuckle grip on her suitcase. “Can I stay with you?”

  “Why? What happened?” Just as the words tumble from my lips, a shell-shocked Ethan comes up behind her. I narrow my gaze at him, knowing he’s to blame for my best friend’s tears.

  “Becca.” His voice is just as broken as hers. “Please, just come back to the room so we can talk.”

  “No.” She stands firm in her conviction. “Noah, can we switch?”

  We answer at the same time.

  “Yes.”

  “No.”

  I smack him in the chest and grab Becca’s arm to pull her inside.

  “Babe,” Noah groans, scrubbing a hand down his face. “It’s late. We have a long day of driving tomorrow. And it’s our last night.”

  It’s then I remember what we were in the middle of before Becca’s knock. I also realize I’m wearing nothing but a pair of panties and Noah’s hoodie, though thankfully, it’s long enough to cover me.

  “I will not stay with him. I’ll sleep in the car if I have to.” Becca crosses her arms over her chest as if to say, and that’s that.

  If Noah thinks I’d let my best friend sleep outside in a car, then he really doesn’t know me at all. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can switch.”

  “Tru—” Noah starts.

  I hold up a hand and cut him off. “You can stay with him or you can sleep on the floor.”

  He throws up his hands in frustration but doesn’t argue the point further. Grabbing his phone and charger, he slips on a shirt, jams his feet into a pair of sneakers, and storms out.

  Once we’re alone, I turn to Becca. “What happened?”

  She falls onto the bed, her body folds over, and she cradles her face in her hands. “He’s fucking Lucy.” The words come out broken. It takes me a full minute to understand what she’s trying to say.

  Moving to the bed, I wrap her in my arms, filled with disbelief. Ethan is obsessed with Becca. He’s the last person I’d suspect of cheating. “What? How do you know?”

  “I was feeling off about us, I told you. And he’s always on his damn phone. He accidentally left it unlocked when he got in the shower, and I couldn’t help myself. There were pages and pages of texts between them. And not just nudes, though those hurt, but he’d text her good morning and ask about her day. Boyfriend stuff.

  “I feel like such an idiot. I invited them on this trip thinking it would bring us closer together before I went to NYU, but it only made things worse. If he’s bored spending every day with me, just imagine how quickly he’ll lose interest once I’m gone. Out of sight, out of mind.”

  I can feel the pain radiating off her body. I do my best to absorb it, to offer any sort of comfort, but I know nothing I say right now can lessen the hurt. So, I do what she did for me after Devin broke up with me. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry.

  Noah texts me early the next morning. I leave a sleeping Becca and meet him in the lobby for breakfast. Dark circles ring his bloodshot eyes.

  “Did you sleep any?” I ask as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

  “Nope,” he grunts. “Ethan’s a wreck.”

  “Ethan?” I pull back. “He is a fucking asshole. He did this.”

  Noah shakes his head and pulls out a chair for me. He’s already made our waffles, and there’s a third plate piled high with eggs and bacon for us to share. “He just got caught up. He’s too nice sometimes.”

  “He sent Lucy a picture of his dick. That’s hard to misinterpret,” I say bitterly, stabbing at my food, wishing it were Ethan’s face.

  “Texting with Lucy was stupid, but he never touched her.”

  “Yet,” I clarify. “What would have happened once we got back to Newton? Or next year, once she’s gone? He betrayed her, plain and simple. He doesn’t deserve sympathy.”

  “She’s leaving. That scares the shit out of him, so he did something stupid out of fear.”

  “Devin did the same thing, but at least he was man enough to break up with me rather than string me along and cheat on me behind my back.” I don’t know why I’m pushing his buttons by bringing up his brother. Maybe it’s because I spent the last few hours consoling my friend and he has the nerve to defend Ethan to me. Or maybe it’s because, deep down, I’m worried that if Ethan can do this to Becca, it’s only a matter of time before Noah does it to me. Either way, I double down. “Should I give him a second chance?”

  Noah levels me a gaze that has my pulse threatening to jump out of my neck. Without another word, he grabs my arm and drags me into the restroom, locking the door behind us. His hands wrap around my throat and squeezes. His mouth hovers over my ear. “Just because they’re fighting doesn’t mean we have to. If you want me to hate-fuck you, just say so. But if you ever throw my goddamn brother in my face again, you’ll regret it.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? You’ll go and fuck Lucy too?”

  He slams my back against the wall, hitching my leg around his waist. “It means I’ll fuck you until you can’t walk straight, then send him a picture of my cum dripping from your cunt.”

  “You’re such a fucking asshole. I hate you.” I push him back.

  “You don’t. You wish you did because I’m not the nice guy you always thought you’d end up with. I’m not sweet or soft. I fuck you hard. I push your limits. You pretend not to like it, but secretly, deep down, I think you love it.”

  I bite down on my bottom lip. “You wish.”

  He arches a brow. “You are a collection of other people’s expectations, but with me… you’re honest. You’re Truly, so maybe instead of spouting about faith, you should actually have some…in me…in us.”

  “Why should I? So, you can do the same thing to me that Ethan did to her?”

  “Their shit isn’t our shit,” he growls, getting back in my face.

  “How can you be so sure?” The edge is gone from my tone, more afraid than angry at this point. Breaking up with Devin hurt like a bitch, but just the thought of losing Noah feels like a bomb detonating in the pit of my stomach.

  “Because I’m in lo
ve with you,” he says with so much conviction that I have no choice but to believe him. “Because I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”

  “A story you still won’t tell me,” I mutter.

  “You were asleep...that first time. I remember staring at you sprawled out on that tiny couch in your dad’s office thinking, that can’t possibly be comfortable?”

  My eyes snap to Noah’s. “What?”

  He sucks in a breath. “I broke my finger just before sophomore year. I’d had a growth spurt that summer. I was stronger than I’d ever been, but I was still so afraid of him. I can’t even remember what I did to piss him off, just that I had. He pushed me around a bit, and I’d just finally had enough. I swung on him. I tried to break his fucking nose, but somehow I ended up fucking up my finger instead.”

  “I’m sorry, baby.” I wrap my arms around his neck, my heart trembling for the scared little boy he once was, that he seems to revert to when pushed.

  “It’s fine.” He brushes it off. It isn’t fine, but I don’t argue since he’s sharing. “Anyway, after a few days of it not getting any better, I knew I needed to get it looked at, but I don’t know… I was too embarrassed to go to my family doctor, so I rode my bike to the clinic. They said they needed parental consent before they could see me and I lost it.

  “Your dad came out from the back. He took one look at me, and I swear it was like he could see right through me. He told me he couldn’t officially treat me, but that he was about to go to lunch, so he could take a quick look at my hand, off the record. We went into his office, which is where you were knocked out in the world’s most uncomfortable position, snoring like a bear.”

  I slap his chest. “I do not snore.”

  He laughs. “You do. Anyway, he had to reset my finger. It hurt like a bitch, but I just focused on you. Your face. Your lips. How, despite the horrific sounds coming from your mouth, beautiful you were. How you could be so comfortable someplace to be in such a deep sleep? I was jealous because I don’t think I’ve ever been that comfortable in my own home, much less a doctor’s office. Anyway, after the finger was reset and wrapped, he told me to come back in a few days so he could check it. I did, hoping to see you again, but you weren’t there. It wasn’t until school started back up and I assumed the role of The Great Noah Tedesco, that I saw you again. By then, you and Devin were dating, so I kept my distance.”

  “How often did Dad see you?” I ask.

  “A few times throughout tenth. I just felt comfortable with him. Less, once he started working at the hospital. But things at home calmed down once I started making a name for myself with basketball.”

  Suddenly, it all makes sense. This explains why Dad seemed to be team Noah from the beginning. “Why were you embarrassed to tell me that?”

  “It’s pathetic. I’m Noah Tedesco. People don’t see me. They only see the idea of me, and that idea isn’t a kid who goes to the free clinic because his stepdad hits him.”

  “I get that,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. “But always know, I see you. I think you’re a lot of things, but pathetic was never one of them.”

  “We aren’t Becca and Ethan.”

  I nod in agreement. “I’m sorry. We aren’t them.”

  Noah pulls the car to a stop in front of Becca’s house. There’s a collective sigh of relief at finally being home after a five-hour tension-filled car ride.

  All our parents are there, except for Noah’s. Becca is the first one out of the car. Her dad grabs her bag out of the trunk while her mother wraps her in a hug.

  I run into my daddy’s arms, and he lifts me up and swings me around. “I missed you so much,” he whispers, setting me on my feet.

  “I missed you too.” We hug again, and then he grabs my stuff out of the car. After saying goodbye to Becca and her parents, we walk over to where he parked.

  “Your nana cooked a feast,” he tells me, swinging my bags into the trunk. “Her, your auntie, and Kai are all at the house.”

  My eyes trail over to where Noah stands, tossing his duffle in the back of his Jeep. His parents are the only ones not here, and despite how terrible they are, my heart breaks for him. He has no one. Only me.

  “You think he likes collard greens?” Daddy asks as if reading my thoughts.

  I smile up at him in awe. My dad really is a superhero. “He better, or else I’m going to have to find a new boyfriend.”

  Daddy wraps his arm around my neck, and we walk over to Noah’s car. “Hey, Tedesco,” Dad calls out.

  “Yes, sir.” Noah looks up, surprised.

  “Do you have plans for dinner? Tru’s grandma made a welcome home dinner and she always makes enough to feed a small country. I know it’s been a while since you kids had a home cooked meal.”

  Noah blinks back the shock. “Um, I’d love that.”

  “Good.” Daddy extends his hand. Noah stares at it for a brief moment then takes it. Some unspoken conversation passes between them before they break the connection. Noah tugs my elbow, pulling me from my father’s hold.

  “Is it okay if Truly rides with me?”

  Daddy pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “I don’t have to remind you that I grew up on the southside of Chicago, do I?”

  “No, sir.” Noah grins.

  “Fine. Come straight home.”

  “Noah,” I pant as his lips trail kisses down the base of my neck. He pushes the thin strap of my tank top down and continues kissing me. I close the book I was reading and sigh. “It’s getting late.”

  It’s been a few days since we got back to Newton, and aside from the family dinner at my house, the day we got into town, Noah and I haven’t really seen much of each other. Dad had a few days off from work and he insisted on hearing every detail about the trip, even though I spoke to him every day while I was gone. And when I wasn’t with Dad, I was with Becca. She still refuses to speak to Ethan, not that I blame her. I just want to be there for her, like she was for me at the beginning of the summer. Unfortunately, that hasn’t left much time for me and Noah.

  “Then we should go to bed,” he whispers against my skin. He lifts the book from my lap and pushes me backwards on the bed. His hand dips underneath the waistband of my shorts.

  “Noah.” I push against his chest. “You have to go home.”

  “I don’t want to go.” He pouts.

  I giggle. “We’ve had sex twice today.”

  “It isn’t about sex,” he says, at the same time, he grinds his semi-erect cock into my stomach.

  “Isn’t it?”

  “I mean, it’s a bonus, but I got used to sleeping with you. It’s weird not having you next to me.”

  I bite my lip and nod. “I agree, but my dad isn’t really keen on me having sleepovers with my boyfriend.”

  “What did he think we did while we were on the road?” Noah asks, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

  “He thinks I stayed with Becca and you stayed with Ethan.”

  He snorts. “Your dad, the ER doctor, thinks you spent three unsupervised weeks with me, and we didn’t share a room?”

  “Look, I’m his little girl. I’m sure it’s easier for him to believe that than the truth.”

  “Which is?” He grins at me. I don’t know why he gets off on making me say dirty words. I think it’s because he still thinks of me as a good girl, and he gets off on making me bad.

  “That I let you do dark and dirty things to me. That I let you use me like a rag doll. That I let you fuck me, any way you wanted.”

  “Mhmm,” he groans in my ear. “There’s one thing you didn’t let me do.” He flips me over so I’m on my stomach, then yanks my hips back and my shorts down. His fingers trace the line of my thong, and he gently massages the crack of my ass. “If I stay tonight, we can cross this off our list.”

  I shiver at the thought of it. “I thought we were waiting for your birthday?”

  He kisses the same path his fingers took, causing moisture to rush to my core. I
should be embarrassed, to have Noah’s face so close to my forbidden entrance, but after everything we’ve been through, I don’t really have much modesty left when it comes to him.

  He kisses me one last time then pulls up my shorts. “I can’t wait until we’re out of this fucking town.”

  “So you can fuck me in the ass?” I giggle, flipping back around to face him. We are on our knees in the center of my bed. He wraps his hands around my face, pulling me in for a sweet kiss. “So I can put my dick here.” He squeezes my butt. “And my baby here.” His other hand presses against my flat stomach.

  “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

  He grins against my lips. “You know what I mean.”

  I nod. Newton holds so many painful memories for both of us. Heading off to Jameson in the fall will be the fresh start we need. “But until then.” I kiss him one last time. “You gotta go home.”

  He rolls his eyes dramatically. “Hardass.”

  “I was tempted by the butt sex stuff, but if my dad catches you up here, he will murder you.”

  Noah pouts the entire time he gathers his stuff and while I walk him to his car. “This is stupid,” he says sliding in the driver’s seat.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say closing the door behind him.

  Once he’s gone, I go to my room and take a shower and slip on my PJs. When Dad comes home, we order pizza and watch Jeopardy until neither one of us can keep our eyes open. My phone rings as I trudge up the stairs to my room.

  “Hello?” I yawn into the receiver.

  “Is Ethan with that slut?” Becca’s words come out angry and frazzled.

  I hold the phone out and stare at it, wondering what could have pissed her off this late. “Umm, how should I know?” I respond, flopping down on my bed. According to my alarm clock, it’s just after ten, and while most kids my age are out partying right now, I’m still recovering from my three weeks on the road.