Truly

by Carmel Rhodes

  “You made that decision.” I lift a shoulder. “Now you have to live with it.”

  A tear rolls down his cheek and the part of me that loved this boy hurts, but I’ve moved on and I can’t toe the Tedesco line anymore. I pick Noah. He stands, and I stand with him. “I’m sorry.”

  “Can I have a hug?”

  Probably not a great idea, but I acquiesce, letting him wrap me in his arms one last time. “Take care of yourself, Devin.”

  He cups my cheeks, pressing his lips to my forehead. “You too, Truly.”

  The party is in full swing by the time we arrive. Everyone is inside, thanks to the black storm clouds looming overhead. Bodies are draped over the couches in the formal living room, while a downtempo song pumps through the speakers.

  “There are so many people here,” Becca comments as we make our way past a group of junior girls crowded around a cellphone. Tonight is Noah’s farewell party. He’s leaving for camp in a few days, so he decided to throw one last bash before spending the next two weeks enduring two practices a day plus conditioning. Everyone is here. Everyone wants the chance to say goodbye, one last selfie in his mansion, one last chance to rage.

  We round the corner into the kitchen. There’s a folding table set up and an intense game of beer pong going on. Noah stands at the head. Ricky stands to his left and two girls, dressed like they are heading to a night club with their faces painted like they’d spent three hours watching YouTube videos, flank them.

  Becca rolls her eyes. “Those skanks.” She moves to power toward them, but I grab her arm, stopping her.

  “What happened to the he knows I’m here; he’ll find me girl who used to be my best friend,” I tease.

  “She got cheated on.” Becca deadpans.

  “You can’t punish every guy you date for what Ethan did.”

  “I know.”

  I turn my head back towards the beer pong table. Noah and Ricky are laughing about something, paying zero attention to the hangers on around them. At first, I had a hard time with the fact that everyone wants to be in Noah’s orbit, but I soon realized it was one-sided. Noah has a few close friends and me. He doesn’t even see anyone else. It’s all an act and while it’s still not easy watching girls flirt with my boyfriend, it gives me some solace that he doesn’t care about any of them. “They aren’t even paying them any attention. What good would stomping over there marking your territory do?”

  “It would make me feel better.”

  “Fine.” I giggle. “Go.”

  “You aren’t coming?”

  “Nah.” I shake my head, slipping up onto the counter behind me. “Beer pong isn’t really my jam.”

  “You’re going to play word games on your phone, aren’t you?”

  I pull up the Wordscapes app and flip the screen around so she can see it. “Yup.”

  “Glad to see your newfound popularity hasn’t changed you.”

  “These people don’t like me. They kiss my ass to make Noah happy. Why do I need fake friends when I have you?”

  We fist bump, then she smooths her hair down and squeezes her way through the crowd. It’s Noah’s turn to throw, or pong, or shoot or whatever the hell it’s called. He lifts the little white ball, lining up his shot, before flicking his wrist forward. It lands into a cup with a splat. The girls cheer like he just won the Super Bowl.

  I roll my eyes and return my attention to my phone. Seconds later, I feel two big hands pry my legs apart. I look up into whiskey eyes and a devilish grin. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” Noah asks pushing his big body into the space he created between my legs.

  I lift my phone. “I texted you, but you were too busy entertaining your groupies with your mad pong skills. Go check your messages,” I say.

  “Please.” He snorts like it’s the most ridiculous thing ever. His hands settle on my hips and he presses a kiss to the tip of my nose. A shiver runs down my spine. Noah has a way of making me feel like I’m the only person in a party full of people vying for his attention. It’s heady. My lips find his. Our kiss starts innocently enough, but soon, I turn needy. I’m clawing at him, wishing for more than kisses.

  “I bet any money Tru gets pregnant tonight,” Ricky yells from the beer pong table. His arm is wrapped around Becca’s neck. He tips his chin down to face her. “You too.” He grins, his lips dancing over hers.

  Noah’s eyebrow shoots up, and he turns to me. “What the fuck is that?”

  “Oh,” I groan. “I don’t know. The first I heard about it was tonight at dinner.”

  “Ethan is going to lose his shit.”

  “Ethan has no say in who she dates.”

  “They’re friends,” he insists. “It’s fucked up.”

  “Need I remind you who I used to date?” I lower my gaze, knowing I should tell Noah about Devin kissing me, but I don’t want to ruin tonight. He’s leaving for Jameson in a few days. I don’t move in until the end of the month, and while it’s only a two-hour drive, I just want to make the most of our time together. “Look. Let’s not argue over this. We’re at a party. Let’s have fun and get drunk and have drunk sloppy sex, okay?”

  He bites my lip. “Fine, but I’m telling him.”

  The party rolls on and at some point, the crowd thins out until there are only about ten of us. We are set up in the game room. Becca and I are sitting on stools pushed back against the wall while Ricky and Noah play pool. A few other people sit around the table drinking beer. The overall vibe is much less chaotic than earlier. Everyone is nostalgic.

  “I can’t believe this is the last time we’ll all be together until Thanksgiving.” Becca pouts.

  “I know. What am I going to do without my best friend?” Tears well in my eyes, although she isn’t leaving for New York for another two weeks. The summer is practically over.

  “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” she says, brushing a tear away with her thumb. “Plus, you’ll have Noah with you.”

  “It’s not the same,” I cry.

  At the same time, Noah comes over and playfully rolls his eyes. “I’m hurt.” He clutches his chest and wipes the rest of my drunken, and overly emotional, tears away.

  Ricky comes over to Becca. His fingers dance up her leg and she smiles. It’s genuine, and I think for the first time that maybe her connection with Ricky isn’t just about pissing Ethan off.

  “They’re cute,” I whisper to Noah.

  He shakes his head. “Eth is pissed.”

  “He isn’t here,” I snip, then look past Noah to where Ricky and Becca are sitting. “So, when did this happen?”

  Ricky looks to Becca and smiles. “Saw her at the grocery store. I was getting stuff for my mom and she had a basket full of snacks.”

  Becca swats his arm. “It wasn’t a basket full. I just needed the essentials.”

  “Oreos and ice cream are not essential.” Ricky snorts.

  “Depends on what kind of Oreos,” I interject.

  “See.” Becca points at me. “Thank you. Anyway, we ran into each other at check out and he asked why he hadn’t seen me around much and then he asked if I wanted to catch a movie.”

  My mouth drops open. “So, how long has this been going on?”

  “A couple of weeks.” Ricky shrugs.

  “A couple weeks?! And you didn’t tell me?” I point an accusatory finger at my friend. “You’re an asshole.”

  “I’m sorry.” She laughs. “It was new. It’s still new. I didn’t want to jinx it.”

  “Yo, Ethan,” one of the guys from the basketball team yells. “You made it.”

  All our heads snap in the direction of the door. Ethan stands there with his hands shoved in his pockets, glaring at Ricky.

  I elbow Noah. “You snitch, you told him to come here, didn’t you?”

  “If you saw Ethan making out with Lucy, what would you do?”

  “That is not the same.”

  “It’s exactly the same.” Noah laughs. “He’s my best friend. Not saying what he did wa
s right, I’m not even saying she isn’t allowed to move on, but Ethan has been on his best behavior all summer, trying to win her back. If it isn’t happening, he needs to know so he can move on.”

  “What the fuck dude?” he growls, pushing his way towards us. “You think you can just steal my girl?”

  Ricky doesn’t back down. “I didn’t steal anything. You lost her. That’s your bad.”

  “So, fuck bro code?” Ethan gets right back in Ricky’s face.

  Becca wedges herself between them. “Ethan, we’re over. I don’t trust you. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. Just move on, okay.” She glances at Ricky. “I have.”

  The room descends into silence. Everyone is staring at Ethan, who’s staring at Becca and Ricky’s retreating forms.

  “Shit.” Noah jumps up to console his friend.

  “Babe,” I say, touching his forearm. “Let me.”

  He arches his brow skeptically but tips his head in Ethan’s direction. I make my way to him. “Let’s have a drink.”

  He narrows his eyes. “But you hate me.”

  “You spent the first part of your summer driving across the country so that I could honor my mom. I could never hate you. I just don’t like the way you treated my best friend.”

  The rest of the room seems to forget about Becca’s dramatic exit, and the party goes on. We head to the makeshift bar and I pour us two healthy shots of vodka. Ethan lifts his plastic cup. “Nothing will be the same, will it?”

  I lift mine. “Probably not, but we’ll always have Graceland.”

  We clink our cups. “To Graceland.”

  “Ugh,” I groan, rolling onto my back. “It feels like my brain was pushed through a cheese grater.”

  “That’s because you and Ethan drank a bottle of vodka.” Noah sits back against the headboard with his arms crossed smugly over his chest. “I tried to warn you.”

  Slapping a palm over my forehead, I search my foggy memories. Why did I think it was a good idea to go shot for shot with an athlete? “I was holding my own for a while there.”

  “Yeah.” Noah lets out an unattractive snort. “Then you got wasted and started singing Beyoncé, “Dance for You”, and tried to strip.”

  I pull the covers over my head. “I did that?”

  “Yeah, I had to toss you over my shoulder and carry you up to bed.”

  “Was it sexy at least?”

  He chuckles and tugs the covers down. “Very.” There’s a knock at the door.

  “Are your parents home?”

  “Nah, it’s probably the housekeeper,” Noah tells me as he rises from the bed and pads to the door. I’ve met Constance before. She’s an older woman with kind eyes and isn’t afraid to put Noah in his place, though for her tough exterior, it’s obvious that she cares deeply for him.

  I lift the covers to my chin as the door swings open. The sassy, gray-haired woman barges into his room with her hands on her hips. “You kids sure know how to destroy a house.”

  Noah shoots her his signature smirk. “You woke us up to yell at me?”

  She peers over his shoulder at me. She hasn’t fully warmed up to me yet, but I think she is coming around. “I didn’t realize you had a friend over. But no, that’s not why I woke you up. There’s someone here to see you.” She leans in, dropping her voice, although I can still hear her. “Your brother.”

  My eyes widen, and I tighten the sheet around my chest. Devin’s here, at Noah’s house? A million and one scenarios run through my brain and all of them end in violence. Noah turns to look at me, although he’s talking to the housekeeper. “Did he say what he wanted?”

  “To talk to you.” Constance implores him with her eyes. “I think you should. You boys need each other. You’re blood at the end of the day.” I forgot she’s worked for Noah’s family for years. She would have known Devin when they were younger. Maybe she has the same maternal affection for him too? I wonder what she would think if she knew about my past with Devin.

  “Tell him to go fuck himself,” Noah growls.

  “Babe.” I shift, uncomfortable with my lack of clothing. “Maybe you should talk to him. I can go. Dad will be getting off soon, anyway.”

  “No,” he says. “I’m leaving tomorrow. I get you today.”

  “Okay.” I don’t want this Devin cloud hanging over our heads for the rest of our relationship.

  “Listen to your girl, son,” Constance says.

  “Fine,” Noah grunts. “Truly, you wait here. I’ll be back in five minutes.” He trudges out behind the housekeeper, not bothering to put a shirt on. Part of me thinks it’s intentional. The scratch marks on his back are a subtle way to rub in Devin’s face that Noah owns a piece of me that Devin never got. Once I’m alone, I scramble to put my clothes on.

  I pace the length of the carpet for about two minutes before curiosity gets the best of me. I sneak out the bedroom door and pad down the stairs as quietly as I can. Constance is sitting there with her finger to her lip, and I feel a little less bad about eavesdropping.

  “We’ve had this shit between us for so long now, I can barely remember what it was like before,” Devin says. I can’t see him from where we’re hiding, but I can hear the hurt in his voice.

  “If you drove all the way out here to reminisce, let me stop you there,” Noah says. “Me and you are not good, we’ll never be good, and since I have your attention, stay the fuck away from my girl.”

  “Your girl?” Devin scoffs.

  “Mine.”

  “You’re fucking delusional. She was mine first. She’d still be mine if not for you.” Constance turns to me, a puzzled look etched across her face. I look down into my lap as shame burns my cheeks. “It’s fucked up what you’re doing to her. I was selfish and insecure that I’d lose her. And I needed the money, so I let you buy me. You win. Go to Jameson. Be the big man on campus, I don’t care. But I refuse to let you manipulate her anymore. The deal is off. She deserves to know the truth.”

  I’m on my feet and around the corner in an instant. My heart is in my throat as I try to process what I overheard. “What truth?” I scream, heading straight for Devin.

  Noah’s arm shoots out and circles around my waist. “Tru, I thought I told you to wait upstairs?”

  Leaning my neck so I can look up at him, I ask, “What the fuck is he talking about?”

  “Babe, we can talk about it later, okay? I promise.” Noah talks in a low, calm voice, like he’s trying to lure me off a ledge. In a lot of ways, he is. I’m alone on a limb, struggling to find my balance. Part of me wishes I’d stayed upstairs. That I could live in the bliss of before. The bliss where I wasn’t a fool for falling for Noah, despite all he’s done to me. Despite his hate for his brother.

  “Tell her.” Devin takes a step forward. “You tell her right now or I will.”

  I wrench out of Noah’s grasp. I don’t want him to touch me. I don’t want him confusing my body with his gentle caresses and heady scent. “What the fuck is going on?”

  “He paid me to do it,” Devin blurts out. “To humiliate you in front of the whole school. He wanted you to hate me. And I agreed because I needed the money to help pay for my classes, and...I knew I’d lose you next year anyway, so I agreed.”

  I stumble backward. My hands tremble with rage. My heart feels like it’s shattering into a million jagged pieces. “You knew you’d lose me? That’s your excuse? I wanted to give you everything. I was willing to give you all of me.”

  “Then three weeks later, you gave it all to him.” Devin tilts his chin behind us.

  Reluctantly, I turn to look into the eyes of the boy who has caused me so much pain in such a short time. “Why?”

  “Tru, just go upstairs. I’ll explain everything.”

  “Explain how you orchestrated one of the worst days of my life? How you lied to me all summer? How you made me fall in love with you, what, so you could break me all over again?”

  “No.” He cups my cheeks, forcing me to look into his whis
key eyes. “I’ve always noticed you, remember? I’ve always loved you. You just picked him.”

  “So, what? You couldn’t get me on your own, so you bought me?”

  He shakes his head. “It sounds bad when you say it like that.”

  “It is bad, Noah; there is no other way to say it. Wait…” I say as a new realization hits. “Did you plan it? What happened that night?”

  “No.” His eyes widen in shock. “No, I didn’t know you were even going to be there. I swear. My plan was to spend that night convincing Becca to hook us up, then my stepdad came home, and we fought. Then I saw you and shit just got out of control.”

  I suck in a breath and turn to Devin. “Can you give me a ride home?”

  He nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’ll be in the car.”

  I run upstairs with Noah hot on my heels. “Don’t do this, Truly. I’m leaving tomorrow. Please let’s just get past this and get back in bed.”

  I push my way into his room and start shoving my shit inside my overnight bag. “How much?” I ask, yanking my charger out of the wall.

  Noah’s face crumples and he tries to pull me into his arms. “Baby.”

  “How much was I worth to you?” I yell, pushing against his chest. It feels good, so I push him again and again and again until his back is against the wall.

  “I gave him five grand, but I would have given him anything he wanted.”

  I stumble backwards, swiping angrily at the tears falling down my face. My hoodie, well, the one Noah gave me, is draped over the back of his desk chair. I brush my fingers along the soft fabric and sigh. “Well, I hope you got your money’s worth.”

  “Truly, don’t do this.” Tears leak from the corner of his eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you too. I love you so much that when you hurt me, I forgave you. When you crashed my trip, I forgave you. We talked about our scars. I told you everything. I shared all of me with you, and you’ve been lying to me this entire time. How many times do I have to forgive you, Noah?”

  He stalks over to me and wraps his hand around my throat, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Babe, please, let me make it better.”