SHATTERED

by S. C. Deutsch

  “I just hope you don’t disappoint us.”

  Chapter 3

  Month 1

  Week 1

  Ana slept for several hours, waking when her full bladder made itself known. Rising, she approached the salon door and pressed the small button. It opened to reveal Marcus in front of her, a puzzled look on his face

  “Can I help you?”

  “I need to use the ladies’ room,” Ana replied, slightly embarrassed.

  “Not a problem, miss. Please, right this way. Do you need assistance?”

  “No, I think I’ll be okay, as long as it’s not far.”

  Marcus nodded and led her down a short hallway. Ana walked slowly, stronger than when she first boarded but still wobbly. When Marcus stopped at an unmarked door, she placed a hand on the wall to steady herself.

  “Here we are, miss,” Marcus said. “Take your time. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

  Ana moved in front of the door and it silently slid open. Startled, she took a step back.

  “Motion sensor, miss. It noted your arrival. It will also stay locked until you exit, so you don’t have to worry about anyone coming in unannounced.”

  Ana thanked Marcus and entered the room. After attending to her bladder, she stepped up to the sink, pulled out the small stool tucked underneath, and sat, gazing critically at her reflection in the large mirror. What she saw caused her to start crying.

  The amount of weight Ana had lost was incredible. Her cheeks were sunken, her eyes glassy with dark circles underneath and she could see the hair, even tightly braided, had lost its shine. The scars from the dragon burns were noticeable, patches of hair missing where it had splattered. Lifting her shirt, she was able to count every rib, and her waist was at least two sizes smaller. Ana knew she had been losing weight, having moved the button on her pants twice. Yet they still sagged. Her shirt was baggier, and her underwear was no longer sleek and smooth. But she didn’t realize how emaciated she was, having nothing that would reflect her image back to her. Her immediate thought was Jan must think her ugly. Her last bath had been several days ago and once she gave up on him coming, couldn’t be bothered bathing again. But the dirt and grime weren’t the worst of it. She looked positively skeletal, and she was crushed Jan had seen her like this. It didn’t matter that he had seen her healthy months ago or knew what she had just been through. Ana had always been obsessed over how she appeared to others and that habit was not easily broken. Folding her arms on the edge of the sink, she lay her head down and sobbed.

  “Are you okay, Miss?”

  Ana dimly heard Marcus calling through the door. Raising her head, she looked in the mirror again, her face now splotchy and tear streaked.

  “No wonder Jan didn’t try and make me stay,” she murmured quietly. “I’m ugly. And his last memory will be of me looking like this.”

  “Do you need any help?” Marcus called again.

  “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Ana tried to push thoughts of Jan aside. There was almost no chance of ever seeing him again and she had no way to go back and change the past. Sighing, she rose and rinsed her face with cool water. Drying off, she approached the door and when it opened, Marcus’s concerned face greeted her.

  “You sure you’re okay, Miss?” he asked. “I was getting worried.”

  “I’m fine. Just overwhelmed. I want to go home.”

  “Almost there. Can I bring you anything?”

  “Is the Vice Premier available? I have some questions.”

  “Unfortunately, no. He’s in a meeting right now.”

  “Can you answer my questions?”

  Marcus looked extremely uncomfortable at the request. First shaking his head no, then nodding yes, he finally gave up and shrugged his shoulders.

  “I don’t honestly know if I can. I haven’t been told not to talk to you, but I’m not sure how the Vice Premier will feel about it.”

  Ana hesitated, then laid a hand on his arm.

  “How about I ask a question. If you think it’s okay to answer, do it. If not, I won’t hold it against you.”

  Marcus thought about it, then nodded.

  The pair reached the salon and passed through to the deck, Jax jumping off the sofa and following. Pulling two chairs over, Ana sunk into one and motioned Marcus to the other. Jax crawled in her lap and she started stroking her companion absently.

  “I think I should stand.”

  “Seriously? Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be to keep looking up when I talk to you? Sit down already. I don’t want to add a stiff neck to all my other problems.”

  Marcus glanced around nervously, then slowly sat, facing Ana.

  “Why does the Vice Premier keep saying I’m special?” she asked.

  Marcus took a minute before answering. Ana got the feeling it wasn’t reluctance, more like he wanted to put his thoughts in order first, and she waited patiently.

  “Because you are. Only one other person has managed to come close to what you’ve accomplished. Most of the young people are unable to find solutions to the tests and the ones who do figure it out usually can’t handle the ordeal of facing their fears. But even among the ones who make it through, few have ever done it while still managing to hang on to both their sanity and their will to live. You’re stubborn and have a temper, neither of which are desirable traits, but your ability to withstand whatever is thrown at you while maintaining your humanity is extremely rare. The Vice Premier wants you. I’m not sure what his intentions are, but I believe he and Premier Raven think you might be suitable for a high government position.”

  “But I’m not special. I’m just a girl who survived. I don’t care about high positions, I don’t care about being important, I don’t even care about being extraordinarily wealthy. I just want to be happy.”

  “Miss, you need to understand something. Nobody who comes under the government’s scrutiny can ever be truly happy. You make the best of what they offer you and hope to be content.”

  “Don’t you want to be happy?”

  “Of course. But it will never happen. I do what I’m told, keep my head low and my opinions to myself, and at the end of the day, go home to a family I care deeply about. My happiness is secondary to making sure nothing happens to them.”

  Ana looked at Marcus, gauging how much was safe to say.

  “I think there are a lot of people who are no longer happy,” she eventually said. “I wonder how long it will be before they no longer accept the status quo.”

  “Keep that to yourself, miss,” Marcus exclaimed, alarmed by her words. “If even a hint of rebellion reaches the ears of the government officials, things will get much worse.”

  “Thank you, Marcus. I will heed your advice. But you know what it’s true. I’m very worried about what will happen to me. And to everyone else.”

  “We’re all worried, miss. But you’re strong. Just do as they say, and you’ll be fine.”

  “How soon before we arrive?”

  “Not long,” he responded, pulling out a small tab and checking the screen. “Will you be able to walk off by yourself? A deckhand has been assigned to accompany you, but we can get a wheel-lift if you need it.”

  “I prefer not to use a wheel-lift, if you don’t mind. But can’t you accompany me? I’ll feel more comfortable having you catch me if I fall.”

  “Unfortunately, ma’am, I cannot. I have to attend to the Vice Premier as soon as we dock.”

  “Then how about the pilot of the raft? He’s been kind to me.”

  “Ansil? I’m not sure. I would have to ask.”

  “Could you please? He’s already picked me up a couple of times. I’m comfortable with him possibly having to do it again.”

  Ana smiled winningly, having a specific reason for asking for Ansil.

  “Give me a moment while I check. Wait here.”

  Ana watched him leave, waiting patiently while softly stroking Jax. When he returned with a smile on his fa
ce, she felt her spirits lift, knowing she had won.

  “Your request has been granted. Ansil will join us before we dock. Can I get you anything in the meantime?”

  “Nothing, thank you.”

  Ana turned her gaze to the sea and suddenly noticed the water turning golden in the fading afternoon sun. Startled, she turned back to Marcus.

  “How long was I out?” she asked.

  “Several hours, miss. The boat was held at the Vice Premier’s orders, allowing you to sleep in peace.”

  “My parents,” Ana moaned, staring at the water again. “I don’t think I can deal with my mother’s attempt to send me on a guilt trip right now.”

  “Your family’s mono-train was delayed, also at the Vice Premier’s orders. Word was sent we would make you comfortable while waiting on them. They will not arrive at the center until after your examination is concluded.”

  Ana looked at Marcus, surprised he openly admitted the Vice Premier was coordinating things on such a scale. Refusing to feel indebted in any way, she kept silent.

  “Ah, here’s Ansil now.”

  Ana looked up to see the pilot jauntily walking across the deck, a huge grin on his face. Marcus met him half-way, exchanging a few words as they walked towards her.

  “Well, ma’am, seems we meet again,” Ansil said, giving a slight bow. Ana laughed, bowing her head in return.

  “I see they let you keep the Ra-mur.”

  “Yes, I’m allowed to keep Jax. With conditions.”

  “Everything comes with conditions these days, it seems. Well miss, you ready to go home?”

  “Like a month ago,” Ana replied, smiling. Marcus bent over and lightly kissed her cheek.

  “You be very careful, miss,” he whispered. “You’re heading into dangerous waters. You’re strong enough to survive, but you need to keep your wits about you.”

  “I know,” she whispered back. “Keep a sharp eye out. The winds are changing.”

  Marcus stood up, a startled look on his face. Ana winked and smiled innocently.

  “Be careful with this one,” he said, turning to Ansil. “She’s important. Very important.” Marcus stressed the last word and Ana got the impression he didn’t mean to just the Vice Premier.

  “Yes, she is. And I will,” Ansil replied, throwing a wink at her.

  Marcus waved and Ana waved back, then rose. Placing Jax on her shoulder, she made her way to the rail, watching as the yacht slid into its berth. Ansil accompanied her, a thoughtful look on his face.

  When the gangway was lowered, Ana allowed Ansil to take her arm, helping her down the steep slope. Once they reached the bottom, she took a step and collapsed. Jax jumped off as Ansil bent over and asked if she was alright.

  “Just weak. I’ll be fine,” she replied, struggling to rise but unable to. Pounding a fist on the ground, she cursed softly.

  “I’ll get a wheel-lift,” Ansil said, turning away.

  “No, please don’t,” Ana said softly. Ansil looked at her sharply. “Can’t you just carry me? It’s not far. If you can’t, then maybe you can just hold me up.”

  Still watching her carefully, he bent over and gently lifted her. Ana placed her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. And started talking rapidly.

  “Are you the pilot who hugged Jan? Don’t answer, just nod.”

  Ansil was startled but hid it quickly. Giving a slight nod, he straightened and walked towards the building, Jax trotting alongside.

  “Do you know what he’s planning?” she asked, believing Ansil was working with Jan.

  “He’s supposed to leave tomorrow,” Ansil replied very softly.

  “Will you be able to get word to him? I know you won’t see him before he leaves.”

  “I may. Why?”

  “Tell him I’ll be at the academy. He’ll know why I’m telling you this. Tell him to find a way to get in touch.”

  “Miss, this is very dangerous.”

  “I know. But there are promises I must keep. I told Jan something before I left and the only way it can be handled is if someone is able to contact me.”

  “I’ll do what I can. But please take care. You’re heading where eyes will be on you every minute of the day. You need to be extraordinarily careful.”

  “You leave that to me. I’m special, remember?”

  Ansil sighed, exasperated with her apparent indifference to the dangers she faced.

  “I’ll do what I can. Anything else?”

  “Tell Jan I’m sorry I didn’t listen and I wish things could be different. And I’m sorry for the way I look.”

  Ansil laughed. “I don’t think that’s a problem, miss. You’re beautiful, even if you don’t think so.”

  “I’m half dead and look it.” Ana replied heatedly. “I don’t like looking like this. If I had my way, I wouldn’t have let anyone see me in this condition. I look terrible and the island has made me ugly.”

  “Miss, everyone knows you’ve had a very hard month, barely surviving. Jan isn’t going to care how you look, just that you’re okay. He cares about you and about what happens to you.”

  “Whatever. I don’t have the time or energy to argue. One more thing. Tell Jan I’ll miss him and to stay safe. Tell him to be careful. And tell him thank you.”

  “I’ll do what you ask. But you’re the one who needs to stay safe. You take very good care of yourself, you hear? I look forward to seeing you again under much more pleasant circumstances.”

  The door slid open before they reached the building, allowing Ansil to carry Ana inside. She had one more question, but it was too late to ask, so she remained silent. He walked down the dim hallway, past the room she had been held in several months ago, then turned right, entering another, slightly less dingy hall. Passing several doors, he eventually stopped at one that looked no different than any other. Softly tapping it with his foot, Ansil carried her inside when it opened.

  The room was small and contained very few items. A small chair sat in one corner, some cabinets lined one wall, and there was a slightly raised circle in the center. Ansil placed Ana in the chair, then whispered in her ear.

  “Keep an eye out, miss. As you said, the winds are changing. I’d hate to see you swept away.”

  Ana gave him a kiss, then hugged him deeply, not surprised he overheard her conversation with Marcus.

  “I plan on learning how to fly.”

  Ansil laughed, the twinkle back in his eye. Looking at Jax, he tipped his head, then told the attendant, an older woman with gray hair and a deep frown, to be careful as Ana was very weak. The woman huffed and turned away. Ana giggled when Ansil made a rude face behind her. Waving as he made his way out the door, she waved in return, then faced the woman.

  Ana was in the room less than an hour. She was weighed, had a vial of blood drawn, and had her temperature and blood pressure taken, the woman tsking at the results. Ana shrugged, then stepped on the platform. Removing her shirt and pants with the woman’s help, she stood still with arms upraised as the digi-imager scanned her. When she was done, the woman handed her a new set of clothing consisting of a long-sleeved shirt that hung down to her mid-thighs, a pair of skintight pants, and soft boots. She also gave her a soft jacket, telling her that her new home was much cooler than the island.

  The woman then gave her a bag containing the shake mix and vitamins as well as a packet of pills she said was for a mild infection. Ana looked up sharply at this. She felt fine, just tired. The woman explained it was a bacterial infection she probably got from drinking contaminated water. The medicine would take care of it in a couple of days and had to be taken with food.

  Jax was examined next. The little creature wasn’t happy with the digi-imager and Ana had to tell her several times to stand still. It got worse when the woman attempted to run the tests on Jax’s vitals. Ana ended up holding the squirming creature tightly, shocked that Jax refused to listen and not understanding why her companion was shaking in fear. It took several minutes after the t
ests were done before she was able to calm Jax, holding tightly when it seemed Jax was intent on escaping. She cooed and hummed, telling Jax it was okay, but wondered how much worse the full physical was going to be.

  Ana asked the woman why Jax was being measured once she was sure the little animal wasn’t going to leave her lap. The woman responded that the Ra-murs could not tolerate the cold and a special suit was being made. Ana realized it made sense since her new home was close to the mountains.

  The woman went over Jax’s results, then rifled through several drawers and pulled out a few bottles. Handing them to Ana, she stated Jax also had a couple of infections and a series of antibiotics were being prescribed. The woman cautioned her about touching Jax’s bodily fluids or getting bit. Nodding, Ana took the bottles and put them in her bag. As she placed Jax on her shoulder, the woman told her the regimens would be forwarded to her tab and needed to be followed exactly. She concluded by saying someone would be in touch to schedule the more thorough examinations.

  Ana left the little room and made her way to the front where she was greeted by a young man. He politely asked if she would be able to leave unassisted and when she nodded, told her to place Jax in the bag. Ana squatted, removed Jax from her shoulder, and patted the ground, relieved to see Jax appeared to have returned to normal.

  “Okay, furball,” she said, opening the bag wider. “In you go. You know the routine. No peeking until I tell you it’s okay.”

  Jax looked at Ana, nodded slightly, and climbed in.

  The young man pushed his tab and the door opened. Ana looked outside, but the glare from the setting sun blinded her. Walking through the door, she stopped and gazed around. She finally spotted her father a few feet away, but her mother was nowhere to be seen. She stared in confusion and when she was unable to locate her mother, looked back at her father. Taking a step, she uttered one word, low and full of pain.

  “Daddy…,” Ana moaned, then crumpled to the ground, her body finally giving out.