SHATTERED

by S. C. Deutsch

  Ana’s father had seen her start to fall and sprinted to her side, catching her before she struck the pavement. Slowly lowering himself to his knees, he cradled his daughter as a single tear tracked down his cheek. Raising his hand, he gently pushed a loose tendril of hair away from her face, noting how frail and sickly she looked.

  “What have they done to you, my little hawk?” he asked softly before bowing his head and letting the tears fall.

  Chapter 4

  Month 1

  Week 1

  The room was filled with light, waking Ana from her deep slumber. She couldn’t remember much after collapsing outside the detention center although she vaguely recalled her father waking her so she could take her meds and drink the shake. Everything else was indistinct and hazy. Struggling to open her eyes, she squinted at the brightness, then decided it wasn’t worth it and sunk further in the bed, pulling the quilt over her head.

  “Good morning, my little hawk,” her father cried cheerfully, entering the room with a tray. Ana mumbled something rude from under the quilt and curled tighter. Jax peeked her head out and decided the tray was more interesting, leaving the bed and hopping on a chair as Ana’s father placed it on the little table set against the opposite wall.

  “Sorry, Ana, but you need to eat and take your meds. You can go back to bed after, but first breakfast.”

  Ana grumbled some more before throwing back the quilt. Pulling on the robe laid across the bottom of the bed, she noticed she was clad in pajamas she didn’t recognize. Gazing around the room, she realized none of the furniture was familiar and panic set in.

  “Daddy, where’s my stuff?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

  “On its way,” he replied. “Why?”

  Ana cast about for an answer.

  “Oh. I just didn’t recognize anything. Not even the clothes.”

  “I was only given a few days’ notice before I was forced to leave. I made arrangements to have whatever your Mom left be shipped as soon as possible. It should arrive in the next day or so.”

  “Where is Mom?” Ana asked, realizing she hadn’t seen her mother since arriving home.

  “Your mother left me,” her father replied softly, gazing out the window that took up most of the wall.

  Ana’s stomach dropped. Displacing Jax, she dropped into one of the chairs at the table..

  “What happened, Daddy?” she asked, tears silently slipping down her face.

  Ana’s father tore his gaze from the scene outside. Ana swore he had aged ten years since she saw him last.

  “She blamed me, then you, for your disappearance,” he said heavily, taking the chair opposite her. “I knew where you were and couldn’t say anything, so I tried to convince her otherwise. As time went on, the accusations got worse. Then she started saying you were jealous of the time Jax spent with Niall. That was the final straw. I told her I would no longer allow her to blame others for things they weren’t responsible for. She was gone the next day.”

  “Daddy, I am so sorry,” Ana said, feeling guilty for causing so many problems.

  “Ana, don’t blame yourself. Your mother and I have been distant for many years. It was bound to happen at some point. What happened to you was upsetting but not the cause of our separation.”

  “What about Niall?” she asked, deeply concerned. If Niall was gone, the reason she was allowed to keep Jax had also disappeared.

  “Currently, she has Niall. But he will be spending afternoons here. I received orders regarding the sessions he is going to have with Jax. You’ll still see your brother and he’ll still see Jax.”

  Ana still felt guilty, only now it was over how she felt. Her mother’s absence took a huge weight off, leaving her with one less thing to worry about. She hung her head and twisted her fingers in her lap.

  “Ana, I know your relationship with your mother is not close. And as much as I wish things were different, the last thing you need right now is her harping on you constantly. If you want to see her, I won’t stop you. But if you don’t, I won’t try and make you feel guilty.”

  Ana nodded, then raised her head and looked out the window. The view was magnificent. Mountains filled the horizon, hazy and soft blue in the distance. Closer in, the woods that spread out before them were tinged in yellow, red, and orange. Ana was mesmerized, having never seen fall in a colder climate.

  “It’s beautiful here, Daddy,” she said.

  “It is. And it will get more so as the season advances.”

  Ana stayed silent. She wasn’t going to see it. She had to report to the Academy in a little over a week.

  “Ana, you’ll see the colors spread and deepen,” her father reassured her. “The Academy is not far from here and the campus is just as beautiful. Now drink your shake, take your meds, and eat something. You, too, Jax. And no repeat of last night.”

  Jax nodded at Ana’s father and took the pills lined up next to her fruit. Ana watched, mouth partly open, as Jax obediently placed the pills in her mouth, sipped some water from her small bowl, then ate a piece of orange.

  “Daddy, how did you get her to take them? I was sure it was going to be a problem.”

  “It was, last night. She cowered in the corner, shaking, and I couldn’t get near her. I realized she was terrified and spent some time explaining to her that these pills will help her.”

  “Jax listened to you? And understood?” Ana asked, gaping.

  “Jax listens and understands more than you know.”

  “How do you know so much about her,” Ana asked. “And why didn’t you ever say anything?”

  “Not now, hon,” her father said. “Eat.”

  Ana wasn’t hungry but knew she needed to eat. Her father placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of her and she looked at it with dismay. What she really wanted was something more substantial. Likes Eggs. And bacon. And a cup of good coffee.

  “In a day or two,” her father said, seeing the look of disgust on her face. “Your stomach needs to readjust to regular food.”

  Ana saw her father had supplied some honey, so she dolloped a small amount in the oatmeal. Forcing it down, she grimaced, then followed it with some tea.

  “Why do you think Jax was afraid? Of the pills, I mean.”

  “I believe Jax has been forced to take pills sometime in the past. And the experience wasn’t a good one.”

  She looked at her companion, who was presently watching the trees. Sensing Ana’s gaze, Jax turned and nodded. Ana was certain Jax had been following the conversation. Reaching over, she ruffled Jax’s fur, earning a look full of love.

  The conversation ground to a halt. Ana had no idea what to say. She couldn’t talk about her experiences, couldn’t talk about the Academy, and most of all, couldn’t talk about Jan. Her father gazed at her with sympathy and reached over, taking his hand in hers.

  “I understand, hon,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze. “You’re under an incredible amount of pressure and there’s nothing either of us can do about it. Try not to think about the past or the future right now. We can and will talk soon. In the meantime, rest and recover. You need to be as healthy as possible before you leave again.”

  Ana’s mouth opened, then shut. She was surprised he knew she was leaving again.

  “I know where you’re headed,” he said, seeing her confusion, “even if I haven’t been told. This house and where it’s located confirmed what I suspected. I don’t know how long you’ll be home but guess it won’t be long.”

  “Ten days, Daddy. I’m leaving in ten days.” Ana started crying again. Her father’s face became hard, and he gave her hand a final squeeze before letting go.

  “Then rest as much as you can,” he said, rising and clearing the dishes. “I’ll leave you alone so you can go back to bed. If you feel like it later, come join me in the kitchen.”

  “First, I’m taking a shower,” she said between yawns. “I feel disgusting.”

  “Be careful and keep it short,” her father ordered. “You
’re still very weak and a prolonged one might cause you to feel faint.”

  Ana nodded, heading to the shower once her father left the room.

  Chapter 5

  Month 1

  Week 2

  The next several days passed in a blur. Ana was recovering quickly, and her father bought in a personal trainer to work on her endurance and muscle strength. The trainer came every morning and she was often left exhausted and trembling from the workouts. But she could feel herself getting stronger and pushed herself to the point of collapse, even when her instructor told her to slow down.

  Ana had been shocked at the size of the house, the great room alone larger than her home in Flaga had been. Her father told her he believed it was both a bribe and a way of making them feel indebted. Ana agreed but insisted on replacing the furniture, feeling the current furnishings were ugly.

  Niall showed up every afternoon and spent several hours with Jax. He greeted Jax by name the first day, earning surprised looks from everyone, and continued to do so, although he never said anything else.

  Ana’s furniture arrived the day after she got home. She spent several agonizing minutes searching for the items secreted inside her mattress, becoming more panic stricken as time went on. When she eventually felt them, she sighed with relief but left them alone, concluding they were safer there than anywhere else.

  She was forced to lock Jax in her room during her workouts. Jax insisted on trying to follow her to the lower level and since she could open doors, Ana ended up blocking the one to her bedroom. The first few days, Jax sat on the other side, scratching until she was released. She spent the afternoon sulking, not wanting any part of Ana until it was time for bed. Until today. Ana emerged from the lower level to hear Jax hurling herself against the door. Hurrying her instructor out, she ran upstairs and slipped inside.

  Jax had torn the room apart. Clothes were strewn everywhere, the bed had been stripped and the sheets shoved underneath, and every flat surface swept clean. Ana gazed at the mess, her face a mask of fury as she searched for the bracelet.

  “Where is it?” she growled, turning to Jax.

  Jax was seated in the center of the bed, looking innocent, but Ana caught the slight glance towards the bathroom.

  “Stay right there, Jax,” she ordered, pushing the heavy bureau in front of the door.

  Jax continued to stare blankly, causing Ana’s temper to rise even further. Marching into the bathroom, she discovered Jax had been busy in there as well. The contents of every drawer, the garbage bin, and the linen closet were scattered across the floor. Every dispenser had been emptied, leaving a gooey mess underneath, and lipstick and mascara were smeared across the mirror and shower door. Ana searched for the bracelet, finally seeing a flash of color in the toilet. Looking down, she saw it floating inside.

  “JAX!” she roared, grabbing her hairbrush and fishing it out. Dumping it in the sink, she turned on the water and filled the basin, the gunk on the bottom causing a huge lather to form. Leaving the bracelet to soak, Ana stormed back into the bedroom, eyes blazing.

  “JAX!” she roared again. “What is wrong with you?”

  Jax stared, her innocent look now replaced with one of anger also. Her eyes blazing a match to Ana’s, Jax pointed forcefully at the door.

  “Jax, I told you. You cannot be seen. You refuse to listen and keep trying to get down the stairs when I work out. When you don’t obey me, you get punished.”

  Jax continued to stare. Ana, having zero patience left, pointed to the chair.

  “Sit.”

  Jax slowly shook her head in defiance.

  “Jax,” she said, her voice lowering as a threatening tone entered it. “Sit.”

  Jax reached over and grabbed a small pillow. Ana watched in disbelief as the little creature casually extended one claw, touching it to the pillow while continuing to stare. Ana was flabbergasted. She had never seen Jax get angry, and her behavior was shocking. Glaring, she folded her arms and tried to keep from completely losing it.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” she said very softly, menace now creeping into her tone. “You’ll be very, very sorry.”

  Jax’s response was to push harder, causing her claw to puncture the pillow. She pulled it down, causing a slight rip to start.

  Ana flew into action. Leaping forward, she grabbed Jax around the middle, holding her at arm’s length while she gazed at the animal in absolute fury. Jax dropped the pillow and curved her claws, reaching for Ana’s face. She didn’t believe Jax would follow through on the implied threat and called the creature’s bluff.

  “I don’t believe you,” she said, continuing to hold Jax away from her. Her anger was still boiling, and she had to force herself not to shake the small animal. Jax strained to reach her. One finger touched her cheek, and Ana felt a slight scratch. Exploding, she marched into the bathroom, kicking clothes and debris out of the way as she went. Pulling Jax against her chest, she opened the shower door and turned the water on, setting the temperature to cold. Jax started squirming madly, which only resulted in Ana holding more tightly. Stepping into the shower, she pressed herself into the corner, then held Jax under the cold water, not moving until Jax deflated and went limp, Motioning the water off, she held Jax in front of her, looking the now dejected and miserable creature in the eye.

  “Are you done?” she asked.

  Jax nodded unhappily, making no further attempt at escape.

  “You have no idea how much trouble you are in,” Ana said. “I absolutely cannot have you disobeying me. So here’s the deal. I need to shower. Desperately. You are going to sit on the counter while I do and not move one inch. If you so much as scratch, you will get another cold bath. Do you understand?”

  Jax nodded again, refusing to meet Ana’s eyes. Ana placed Jax on the counter, then turned the shower back on, adjusting the temperature. Stepping inside, she sighed at the mess on the floor. Having no choice, she scooped some soap and washed. Exiting, she picked up a towel that lay on top of the debris. Toweling off, she dried Jax, then pointed to the bedroom. Jax hopped off the counter and slowly made her way, navigating the mess as Ana followed.

  “Sit,” Ana said again, pointing back at the chair.

  “Everything okay in there?” Ana’s father called from the other side of the door.

  “Yes, Daddy,” Ana replied. “Jax threw a temper tantrum, but I’ve got it under control. We’ll be down in a bit. Or at least I will.”

  “Okay, hon,” he responded. “Let me know if you need a hand.”

  “I’m good. But thanks.”

  Jax hopped on the chair, looking at the door hopefully when Ana’s father spoke. As he moved away, Jax turned around and gazed at Ana with a totally blank look on her face. Ana rooted around, finally finding something to wear, then sat on the edge of the bed and gazed back at Jax.

  “I don’t understand this, Jax,” she said, indicating the mess. “What’s gotten into you? You’ve been irritated at me before, but never gone to this extreme. What gives?”

  Ana didn’t expect an answer but needed to understand why Jax had turned her room into what looked like the aftermath of a hurricane. Jax never disobeyed her, and she couldn’t understand the sudden violence.

  Jax pointed to Ana’s lap. Ana shook her head, not ready to forgive her companion just yet.

  “No, Jax,” Ana said, drawing her legs up to show the lap was off limits. “You’re going to be punished. But first, I’m going to tell you how it’s going to be.

  “You know we’re leaving in a few days, right?”

  Jax nodded, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

  “You want to come, right?”

  Jax nodded, pointing at Ana again.

  “Then here’s the deal. Where we’re going, you’ll be left alone for long periods. There are places you cannot go. Do you understand?”

  Jax shook her head, causing Ana to sigh. This was going to be harder than she thought.

  “Do you remember before we went
back to the island?” she said, trying again. “How you sometimes stayed here while I went somewhere else?”

  Jax was motionless for a moment, then nodded.

  “It will be the same where we are going. Only now, you’ll be alone. Do you understand?”

  Jax nodded very slowly, looking more dejected the longer Ana spoke. Ana wanted to reassure Jax but didn’t dare. Jax needed to understand how serious this was.

  “I have no choice, Jax. I have to go. If you want to stay with me, you have to go, too. But the rules are clear. If you don’t obey them, and me, you’ll be sent away. If you want to stay with me, you have to listen. It doesn’t matter how unhappy or angry you are, you must obey me. Do you understand?”

  Jax nodded, sinking down even further as she hunched her shoulders.

  “This is unacceptable,” Ana said, indicating the mess. “I will not tolerate it. Starting today, you will listen to everything I say. If you don’t, I will contact Vice Premier Drake and tell him to come get you. Do you understand?”

  Jax looked up, alarmed.

  “Exactly. If you refuse to listen, you’re telling me you don’t want to stay. Unless you obey me, I’ll have no choice but to let you go.”

  Jax nodded, slightly more vigorously this time.

  “The training starts now. You made this mess. You clean it up.”

  Jax stared at Ana as if in disbelief.

  “You did this, you get to fix it,” she repeated, crossing her arms. “I don’t expect you to fold the clothes or hang them back up. But I do expect you to pick up everything, wash the soap gunk up, and clean the mascara and lipstick.

  “Most important, you get to scrub the bracelet. What you did was disgusting, and while I’m sure I know why you chose it, I still find it beneath you.”

  Jax looked at Ana unhappily, then lowered herself from the chair. Ana rose and moved the bureau back, then spent the next two hours supervising and sometimes assisting Jax. While she remade the bed, Jax washed the bracelet, bringing it to her for inspection and looking at the floor as she did so. Declaring it acceptable, she told Jax to hang it over the counter to dry. When the room was clean, Ana pointed out the door and followed Jax downstairs, leaving her in the front room with Niall. Entering the kitchen, she made something to eat and sat at the table. Munching on her wrap, Ana pondered Jax’s misbehavior.