Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1)

by Jaime Guerard

  “You’re very quiet up there.” Austin pointed out. My arms stiffened. “What’s wrong?”

  A little panic swept through me as I glanced at Becka’s blank face. “I’m fine.” I turned my eyes back to the road. I tried to be strong but it seemed like I was failing miserably.

  “Yeah right.” Austin continued to push it. “You’re not fine. What is it?”

  “It’s nothing.” Heat rose in my face.

  Austin sighed, frustrated. “Bre, I know when something’s bothering you.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it!” I snapped and glanced in the rear mirror at Collin, his eyes hurt and fixed on me.

  “Alright,” Austin raised his hands, giving up. He looked out the window. Clearly, he was offended by my abruptness.

  The silence sunk in my stomach, making me feel even worse than I already did. I drove on without apologizing, even though I should have. I was mute and numb. The slight drizzle from when we first started off had become a complete downpour, and the sky seemed darker than before. The trees off in the distance were synchronized in their motions, swaying back and forth, each gust of wind jerking the car with it.

  “So…” Rebecca spoke up in a chipper voice, finally filling the empty air. “Collin, I think we should go to that shop I was telling you about, first. There are tons of nice gifts there, and right next to it is a cute little old-fashion soda shop that sells food. I think they even still sell sodas for twenty-five cents!”

  “Sounds good to me,” Collin agreed. “Is that alright with everyone else?” I could tell he was looking at me in the mirror, but I kept my eyes straight ahead.

  Austin continued to silently stew. I felt terrible. I didn’t mean to hurt him. But as much as I wanted to smooth things over, I thought it might be better not to. It would be easier when I told him we were just friends, if he was already mad at me. A small part of me figured that the angrier he was the better. I didn’t want to hurt him twice. I was planning on telling him today. Collin suggested I do it soon.

  “Bre, is that alright with you?” Collin asked when I didn’t answer.

  “That’s fine,” I softly said.

  It was a little challenging reading the street signs on the road. The gusts of winds were flipping them up on their sides. It did help that Becka had been there once before, she had a fairly good idea of the direction we needed to take. After a couple of wrong turns, we finally made it to the shop. We had to drive up and down the street a couple of times before settling into a parking spot across the street.

  Turning the car off, we all discussed what the plan was before braving the intense weather outside. Austin and Collin ran over to the gift store while Becka and I decided to go straight to the soda shop. Beck made the excuse of being hungry, which was for my benefit. She’d already eaten a bowl of cereal before leaving my house, but the guys didn’t know that.

  “What’re you gonna do?” Becka asked, flicking water off her arms once we were under the awning.

  “I don’t know,” I sighed, peeking into the gift shop. I saw Collin near the window talking to one of the shop clerks.

  “Maybe you should just tell him.” She was talking about telling Collin about the car accident, the one I dreamed about.

  I shook my head at the thought.

  “It worked for the Andersons.” She shrugged, walking into the warm building with me trailing behind her.

  I reflected on that for a moment as we sat at one of the empty tables. The memory of the Andersons flooded back along with all the emotions. Despondency threatened to overtake me, but there was a difference this time, a big difference. One that could ultimately affect my future.

  “Then what do you suggest?” She took one of the menus from the middle of the table and sat it down in front of her.

  “Well…” I grabbed the other menu and opened it up, thinking. “What if you go to the bathroom and disguise your voice as someone from the airport telling him that there was a mix up and his flight is scheduled for next weekend.”

  She gave me a disapproving look. “That’s not gonna work…all he has to do is call in and change his ticket for today.”

  “But you would be the one changing it over the phone,” I mused.

  Beck shook her head. “We’d go to the airport and see that everything is set up for him to board today. Plus, he’d question why they were calling him. They don’t know when every single person needs to leave. It’s not believable.”

  She was right. There was no way around that one. The waitress came up beside us, setting two waters on the table.

  “Is there something else you’d like to drink?” she snapped, not even looking at us.

  Beck and I glanced at each other. I wasn’t hungry at all, but I was a little thirsty. “I’ll have a coke.”

  “And for you?” she turned to Rebecca.

  “Same.”

  When she walked away, Beck asked, “Any other ideas?” She sipped water through her straw.

  “What if I begged him not to go?” I was sounding disheartened.

  She leaned back in her chair and lowered her chin. “Not even your begging could keep him here. He has a life in California.” She paused, deep in thought and then her face lit up. “How about we run out to your car right now and pull a plug out of it? That thing is always breaking down. We’d be stuck and then he’d miss the flight.”

  As believable as that sounded, there were so many other things that could go wrong.

  “That won’t work either. All the boys would have to do is lift the hood and find the cord we pulled out. Or Collin could call a cab.” I dropped my chin into my hands. There was nothing I could do or say to keep him here longer. It was hopeless.

  “Let’s talk about something else. I need to take my mind off of this,” I sighed.

  “Alright…” Becka started, but was cut off.

  The waitress came back with our drinks and set them down. “What else do you want?” She asked coldly.

  “Nothing for me,” I said politely, even though she was being so rude. Becka said the same and the girl moved to the next table.

  “Um, well…Trevor and I have been fighting a lot lately…Oh wait, should I be talking about my relationship right now? We could talk about something else if you want?”

  “No, your relationship’s fine. I just don’t want to talk about my problems. Go on.”

  She began a long, in-depth breakdown of the last couple of weeks with Trevor. Mostly, it was the same old meaningless bickering they were accustomed to. Everyone knew how their relationship was built: a lot of fighting and accusing, but always making up in the end. I often wondered if they really enjoyed their frequent spats, and if the making up was worth it. But the more Rebecca told me the more I sensed she was ready to throw in the towel.

  “You know, the more I talk about this, talk about these stupid issues with Trevor, the more I see that I’m really not happy.” Beck looked down at her half-empty glass of soda and started spinning the straw around the rim. “I’m starting to notice little things, you know, like the things that Josh would pull on you; flirting with other girls; getting mad for no reason, and just treating me badly.”

  “Do you want to break up with him?” I asked curiously. I hated seeing her so unhappy.

  The front door jingled as it opened. I glanced up automatically, hoping it was the guys. An old couple walked in, unraveling scarves from their necks. My shoulders drooped with disappointment.

  Becka was still stirring her glass. “I don’t know… Remember when Josh would just show up at your house unannounced, wanting to take you somewhere and usually it was somewhere that you really didn’t want to go?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And then he’d get mad at you for having plans of your own?”

  I agreed, “Yes.”

  “Trevor is doing that now, all the time, and makes me feel bad about it. I think Josh is really wearing off on him and it’s affecting our relationship. We’re gonna talk and if things don’t change, Jo
sh and Trevor will have a lot more time to spend together.”

  In a way I was relieved to hear her say that. I had never told her how I felt about their relationship - even though she butted into mine all the time - but he and Josh were so much alike in many ways, even more since Josh and I broke up. He had a lot of the same little idiosyncrasies that Josh had. I knew it was only a matter of time before she would see it as well.

  “I’m sorry.” I reached out and put my hand over hers. “If anyone gets it, I do.”

  The door opened and I snapped my head up, a cold blast of air hitting my face sent shivers over my body. It was the boys, finally, after almost forty minutes. They came in and took the two empty seats at our table.

  “Hey, girls!” Austin greeted. His mood had completely changed. “Sorry we took so long. This guy over here,” Austin pointed at Collin, “couldn’t decide on a gift for our mom.”

  I moved my eyes to Collin. He glanced over his menu at me, a small smile peeking from his lips, but not holding our stare long enough for anyone to notice.

  “Can we see what you got?” Beck asked, clapping her hands together.

  Collin’s smile disappeared. “It’s just some trinkets.” He seemed uncomfortable, and he began skimming over the menu again.

  “Come on, what is it.” Becka pushed his arm a little. I was curious also. What took them so long to pick out?

  “They’re already wrapped up,” he mumbled, brushing it off.

  “Fine,” Becka sighed. Austin glanced at Collin oddly.

  “Hi,” a sweet voice greeted, “My name is Jasmine and I’ll be your server today. Is there something I can get you guys?”

  It was the same crabby girl who waited on Becka and me. The moment she took one look at the guys her tone immediately changed.

  Austin was clueless as he spattered off his order, “I would like the double cheese burger with a large fry and a large root beer.”

  “Alright,” she smiled, blatantly obvious. Then she turned to face Collin who was smirking at me. He could see how annoyed I was.

  He coughed out a chuckle before saying, “I want a double cheese burger as well,” he looked at me again, his smile widening, “and large fry, but I would like a water.”

  “You got it!” Jasmine flashed one last look his way and he smiled back at her, which sent a surge of fiery blood through my veins.

  I bit my lip, trying to not show my emotions on my face, but I wasn’t the best actress.

  “What’s so funny, Collin?” Austin leaned forward, fleeting his eyes at the waitress behind the counter.

  “Nothing,” Collin chuckled again. Austin raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t see the look on Bre’s face when that girl walked up?” He was enjoying this a little too much, compounding my irritation.

  “No.” A tiny smile lifted on Austin’s mouth.

  Rebecca spoke, “Let me explain. She was really rude to us when it was just the two of us and…”

  I cut in unable to control myself, “And now that you guys are here, she’s polite and sickening sweet.” I rolled my eyes. My impulse of jealousy took over and immediately I regretted speaking at all.

  “Wow…is someone jealous?” Austin playfully accused, smiling a little too wide for my comfort and I suspected Collin’s as well. Collin’s amused face sunk down as he waited for me to respond, with his eyes pinned on me.

  My stomach knotted up, my arms tensed, heart pulsing with anxiety. I cleared my throat. “No, of course not.”

  Austin sat back and chuckled, satisfied with how my response came out. “Mmmhmm,” was all he said.

  From my peripheral view, Collin’s face was blank.

  As the silence from our table hung in the air a cell phone went off, unscrambling the four of us. We all looked at each other, wondering whose phone was ringing. Collin reached in his pants pocket and took out a small black cell phone. He quickly glanced at the screen before standing. “I’ll be right back,” he said, pressing the talk button and walked out of the restaurant. Another blast of freezing cold air swept over me.

  I laced my arms across my chest and sunk into the table to keep what little body heat I had in.

  “Want my jacket?” Austin offered kindly. I don’t know why I was holding onto this sense of aggravation so tightly, but I was. How could he get over something so quickly? He didn’t want to look at me in the car and now he’s fine.

  “Austin…what are you doing?” Irritation colored my tone.

  “What are you talking about?” he chuckled every other word, clearly knowing what I meant, but not admitting it.

  “I’m talking about in the car.” I glared. Did I need to go into further detail?

  “Oh that…” He threw up his hand, shaking his head, “Water under the bridge. I don’t hold grudges. Life’s too short for that.”

  A twist of fear balled in the pit of my stomach.

  “So, do you want it or not?” He held the jacket up for me.

  “Bre, I think you should tell him,” Rebecca broke in, before I could reject the offer.

  I shot my eyes wide to Becka, not believing those words came out of her mouth just now. She pressed her lips together, looking regretful.

  “Tell me what?” Austin asked, his tone dropping down an octave, shifting his eyes between the two of us.

  “It’s nothing,” I hissed through my teeth, as I glared at Becka out of the corner of my eye.

  “No, no, it’s something…and obviously it’s something big if you’re acting like this.” Austin wrinkled his forehead, eyes pulled in tight.

  I didn’t know what to do or say. I felt like the walls were caving in all around me.

  “Austin, forget what I just said.” Beck tried to redeem herself, but it didn’t work.

  “No. Let’s have it,” Austin was stern. I had never seen him like this before, and it was intimidating.

  “Um…I should go to the bathroom and let the two of you talk.” Rebecca stood up, guilt all over her face. She headed for the restroom, unable to look at me.

  Austin waited until Rebecca was out of range. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s bothering you. You’ve been acting weird this whole week.”

  “Nothing’s wrong Austin, just drop it,” I lied.

  He sank back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest, frowning in disapproval. I hated how he made me feel, like I was some little child and he was an authority figure, demanding to know what was wrong. “When something’s bothering my girlfriend, I want to fix it, but I can’t until you tell me what’s going on.”

  My hands balled up into tight fists, squeezing until I felt my pulse. I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m not your girlfriend! I never was.”

  The door flew open and Collin walked in our direction rubbing his hands together and grinning. Austin sat motionless, his eyes wide with hurt. It was out and there was no way to take it back. The hurt was done and now I needed to explain, but Collin’s timing couldn’t have been worse.

  “I can’t believe it! That was my dad. He’s coming to pick me up at the airport. He was supposed to be in Florida all week, but he came back early.”

  Collin picked up on the tension right away. “Everything okay? Where’s Rebecca?”

  “I need some air,” Austin spit out, shoving his seat back and walking away.

  “Austin,” I called after him, but he cut me off before I could say anything else.

  “No Bre, just…” He held up one hand and walked out the door.

  “You told him, didn’t you?” Collin guessed, concerned. “What did you say?”

  “I need to go talk to him. I’ll be right back,” I excused myself. I ran outside and was relieved to see Austin standing by the door.

  “Austin, please let me explain,” I pleaded.

  “You’ve said enough,” he sighed. He couldn’t even look at me, which was the hardest part.

  “Austin, please…I never wanted to hurt you and I’m so sorry for saying it the way I did.”

  The musc
le in his jaw flexed.

  “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to ever lose you again, but…I just don’t feel the same way that you do.”

  A gust of wind sent my hair in my face. I brushed it back and noticed that Austin was looking at me. At least he was looking at me.

  “Breanna…I don’t know how I can just be your friend…” He shook his head stepping closer to me. “I…I’m in love with you.”

  My heart bottomed out. A knot formed immediately in the middle of my throat as the words “in love” passed over his lips. It choked me. I couldn’t speak. He placed his hands on my shoulders, his glassy eyes staring into mine, completely serious.

  “Bre, I love you and I don’t know how to stop it. I can’t and I won’t.”

  Collin passed through my mind and I glanced at the sidewalk before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

  I felt his hands drop from my shoulders. I looked back to him. He pressed his lips together and took a deep breath, looking like he was trying to keep his emotions in.

  “I just need a minute,” he spoke softly, and walked into the gift shop. As much as I wanted to follow him, I didn’t. I headed back into the restaurant.

  I came back to the table and slumped into my seat. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as mad at Becka as I thought I would be. In fact, I was kind of glad she had the courage to step up and bring the elephant in the room. Forcing me to tell Austin the truth.

  “Where’s Austin?” Becka queried.

  “The gift shop.” I gave Collin a somber face. “I told him.”

  His eyebrows lifted and he glanced at the door.

  “You told him?” Rebecca asked. It was a question. She was being extra careful now with her choice of words.

  “Yes…he now understands that we are not a couple.” I watched Collin for a reaction. He looked down at the glass of water in front of him, obviously thinking. That worried me a little. I hoped he’d be relieved. I needed reassurance that I did the right thing by telling Austin, though I felt anything but relief. I was a terrible, uncaring, awful human being. It was never my intention to be cruel, to lead Austin on. It just never seemed to be the right time to tell him. I thought I was protecting him, but I wasn’t. I was drowning him without him knowing it. I let the salt burn in my open wound. I needed to feel pain, to wallow in my own misery. Austin was hurting and I was to blame. Neither Collin nor I wanted to hurt Austin, but we both knew it was unavoidable.