Behind the Count: Cessna U Wildcats Book Two

by Readnour, Kimberly

  “I know. Despite not getting five hundred yards down the road, I am proud of you.” His lips twitch.

  “Jeez, thanks.” I roll my eyes and then look down at his baseball jersey and pants. The man does wear the uniform well. But then I notice a piece of brown leather string sticking from the back pocket. I hold in my gasp. It can’t be.

  “What’s that?” I ask, motioning to his back pocket. The thread is the same one I saw back in his bedroom but dismissed. He glances at where my finger points and cringes.

  “Something I never wanted you to see.” He murmurs and then fishes the string out of his pocket. He opens his hand, and in his palm lies the bracelet I made him years ago. The cardinal is barely visible, but other than being slightly worn, the bracelet is intact. My mouth falls open.

  “You still have that?”

  “I told you I’d always wear it. I may not have been able to put it on my wrist, but I still keep it with me. I always have.”

  My gaze flashes toward his, my heart swelling with emotion. Surely, I’m not reading too much into that gesture. He not only kept the bracelet I made him when I was seven years old, but he has it on him during a game. I know baseball players are superstitious, but do guys hang on to sentimental trinkets like that if there wasn’t a special meaning behind it? I’m thinking not.

  “You have?” I ask.

  “Always.” He places the bracelet back into his back pocket. “We really need to talk.”

  Before I can ask what he wanted to talk about, Braxton breezes into the room, eyes big and wild as his gaze ping-pongs from me to Noah. And that relieved breath he just exhaled… Yeah, it’s the calm before the storm.

  Braxton marches over to me and gives me an awkward hug. The alarm beeps as he knocks off the pulse oximeter. I quickly reattach it to my finger before a nurse barges in.

  “I’m glad you’re okay, but what the hell were you thinking?”

  “That took less than a minute before you started in.” I glance at Noah over Braxton’s shoulder. He gives me a knowing look.

  “Yeah, well, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

  “I’ll, uh, head out to the waiting room.”

  “Your mom and her friend are out there.” Braxton turns to me. “Cara’s here too, but the sphincter police won’t let her back here.”

  “Your backpack is under the cart. Todd was here, but he couldn’t come back here either. He took an Uber home as soon as he found out you were stable.”

  “Ah, that’s nice. I’ll call him when I can.” I’ll have some clothes to change into at least.

  Noah lingers, looking as if he wants to say something more. He must decide against it because he nods and then takes off. I don’t know what to think. He hurt me. That heartbreak will take a lot of mending.

  Braxton watches his friend leave. “I didn’t realize how much he loved you until today.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He came here.”

  “I’m surprised too, considering the scouts were in the stands. But I’m sure he thought the same thing as you. That something happened to my heart.”

  Braxton turns to face me. “No, sis. He left the field before we even heard something happened. He left looking for you.”

  “Oh.” My gaze drifts back to where Noah had walked out. He led me to believe he left after he heard about me. Or maybe, I assumed that. I don’t know. With my parents on their way here, I won’t be able to be alone with Noah anytime soon. He kept mentioning wanting to talk. Now, I’m even more curious.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Noah

  “You look nice,” I say to Shannon as I pick her up outside her dorm room. She’s wearing the shortest denim shorts possible with a printed white T-shirt that reads “Kiss Me I’m Irish.” I point to her chest. “Are you trying to give me a hint?”

  “Depends on if it works.”

  I laugh and open the passenger door for her, but her playful smirk goes straight to my dick. I sure the hell hope she wants me by the time we’re through talking. I hadn’t thought of anything but her since her episode last weekend. I haven’t been able to talk to her either. It’s been downright torturous staying away when all I want to do is tell her how much I messed up and beg for her to come back. Her dad left the next day, but her mom didn’t leave until this morning. This conversation can’t be had in a text or phone call. It needs to be done properly.

  “I take it your mom left without any problems.”

  “Yeah, and I know they care and everything, but I’m so glad to be back to normal. I love my mom, but the hovering is too much at times. At least when I complain to Cara, she can relate. Her mom was similar.”

  “They care, but you know that already.” I pull out of the parking lot and head toward Renald Field.

  “Are you going to tell me now where we’re going?”

  “Nope.”

  Her mouth drops open in surprise. “Really?”

  “It’s not a big deal. I wanted someplace where we could talk and have some privacy.” I also wanted to incorporate a piece of our history. A huge chunk of time as kids was spent at the baseball field. What better place to discuss our future than where it all began? I got a hold of Bart, and he set me up. I owe him big time for this one. Not only for tonight but for letting me borrow his truck. I got to Shannon a lot quicker because of him.

  Her blue eyes give me a once-over. “This sounds serious.”

  “It is.” There’s nothing in my life more serious than what I’m about to discuss. Admitting my fears and vulnerability isn’t something I ever do.

  We pull up to the field house, and her grin widens. “You took me to the baseball field?”

  “It’s my favorite place in the world.”

  I grab her hand and walk her through the corridor. Once we’re out on the field, I point to the pitcher’s mound. “Our setup awaits.”

  “How did you pull this off?” she asks, looking across the diamond in awe.

  “I’ve got my ways.” And one helluva nice maintenance manager.

  I pull her out on the field. Her eyes widen when she notices the blanket spread on the infield. A cooler sits off to the side.

  “Oh my goodness, that’s one huge Uni! Where did you find this blanket?”

  “I walked by the hospital gift shop before leaving and saw it displayed in the window. Of course, I had to buy it. It was too perfect.” And fitting. The pink cotton material sports a giant unicorn head printed in the middle with a rainbow horn. The poor thing is beyond ridiculous.

  “And this?” Her eyebrows raise as she points to the unibrow I shaded in with a permanent marker. I shrug.

  “Like I said, perfect.”

  We settle on the blanket, sitting across from each other. I open the cooler and dish out the unicorn ice cream packed on dry ice. I even have a tub of sprinkles to shake over the scoops.

  “Wow, you thought of everything, huh?”

  “I tried to.”

  I hand the bowl to her and fill mine. The last of the sun rays shine above, signaling it’s time to discuss our fate. We can’t stay here past dusk. I exhale a shaky breath and begin.

  “First of all, I want to apologize for breaking up with you the way I did.” She stills, but I press forward. “It wasn’t fair of me to end things the way I did, and I realize the excuse was flimsy.”

  “You blindsided me, Noah. I didn’t expect you to dump me.”

  The pang in my chest tightens. “I owe you an explanation for that and to explain where my head was.”

  She tilts her head and places the ice cream bowl in her lap, giving me her full attention.

  “Do you know how my father died?”

  “I know he had some condition, but I wasn’t ever told the name.”

  “He had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease or ALS for short. Are you familiar with it?”

  She shakes her head. “I’ve heard of it, but no. I don’t know much about it.”

  �
�It’s a neurological disease that affects muscle control. There’s no cure. It hit Dad in his forties, and I remember my mom vowing to take care of him. At first, I didn’t think much about the disease until he started deteriorating.”

  Shannon grabs hold of my hand as she sits cross-legged listening. I’m sure she remembers seeing him in a wheelchair the few times he left the house.

  “Anyway, I watched my dad’s health slowly decline, but the disease doesn’t just affect the person. It affects the entire family. I watched the toll it took on my mother as his care demanded more and more from her. Mom loved him and insisted she wasn’t sending him to a home, no matter how much money they had.”

  “I remember your mom afterward. She was heartbroken.”

  “She was.” I nod and take a moment to re-collect my thoughts. I clear my throat. “Only five to ten percent of the ALS cases are heredity, but my dad fell into that category. I’ve done the research. I know there’s a fifty percent chance of me developing it.”

  Tears glisten in Shannon’s eyes.

  “That’s the main reason I stay single. I don’t want to burden anyone with my future problems.”

  “But there’s a fifty percent chance you won’t develop it either.”

  “I don’t like either odds.”

  “Noah, my entire life has been nothing but odds. They either work for you or against you, but life is about risks. You have to live.”

  I nod, knowing she’s right but not wanting to admit it. Staying single is easier. Or it was until I learned how deeply I love this beautiful girl sitting in front of me.

  “A couple weeks before our split, I started having hand tremors.” I swallow as concern deepens her blue eyes. God, admitting this is harder than I thought. “The night we went to dinner, do you remember the guy I helped put into the car?”

  “Yes.”

  “Seeing that guy reminded me so much of my dad. The old man’s mannerisms. His gruffness. The way he couldn’t lift his legs. It was suffocating. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. When you started to undress me and I grabbed your hair, the tremors came back. After that, I couldn’t shove the vision of you becoming like my mom—this lifeless person—out of my head. I couldn’t live with myself, knowing I did that to you. So, I took the coward’s way out and bailed.”

  Her fingers tighten around mine. “Thanks for telling me that. I know it couldn’t have been easy. But why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “I know you. You wouldn’t leave. It’s not in your nature. You face things head-on.” I lower my gaze. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”

  “You’re right. That wouldn’t have scared me away.” She dips her head to grab my attention. “It still doesn’t.”

  “But you deserve so much better than me.”

  “That’s bullshit, but Noah, you deserve to live your life too.”

  I shake my head. “I am trying to keep the symptoms at bay. I eat healthily and don’t abuse my body with toxins. Those kinds of things.”

  “Aha, that’s the real reason you don’t drink.”

  “Guilty. I try to keep myself as healthy as possible.”

  “Is there a test to take that will show if you have it?”

  “There is genetic testing, but the accuracy can be tricky.” I refrain from telling her that I’ve already sent my blood off to the lab. Mom got in touch with Doctor Gravio’s office, and all I had to do was go in for a simple blood draw.

  “What do you mean?”

  “The doctor tests for mutated genes. If they don’t find any, you’re technically cleared. The problem is, the genes they’ve tested may not have mutated yet. So, results aren’t always accurate. That’s why I thought it’d be better if we split. I love you, Shannon. I never want to burden you like this.”

  “I’m broken myself, Noah.”

  “No, it’s not the same.”

  “Why isn’t it? I always have the worry that my heart may not be strong enough. Hell, I’m not even sure I can have kids. More than likely, I can, but there’s still the possibility of being a high risk.”

  “Does not having kids bother you?”

  “I don’t know. Right now, no, because I don’t want any children. Will my mind change in the future?” She shrugs. “Who knows, but if I do, adoption is a viable option.”

  “I don’t want to have kids for obvious reasons.” Although, I can see the entire picture splayed out in front of me—Shannon in suburbia land with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. But the dream is like a brass ring on the merry-go-round—visible but just out of reach.

  “Look, Noah, I don’t know where our relationship will go, but we owe it to ourselves and each other to try.”

  “I never want to burden you. It would kill me to see the sparkle dull in your eyes.”

  “I’m not going to lie. It would suck watching you wither away, but taking care of you doesn’t bother me. I’m sure your mom felt the same way. Have you ever talked to her about what she went through?”

  “Last weekend. And you’re right. She doesn’t have any regrets. Part of the reason I owed you an explanation.”

  “Let me ask this. If we get back together and, say, ten years from now, my pulmonary valve blows and I die instantly, would you regret the time we spent together?”

  I cringe at the thought. “No, of course not. How could you even think that?”

  “Because that’s what you’re thinking about me. You think I’d regret being with you.” She looks directly at me. “I wouldn’t. Would I be sad? Of course, but I’d never regret falling in love with you. What I’d regret is never getting the chance.”

  “I don’t want you to ever feel that kind of pain.”

  “Don’t you get it? I’d feel it if you were eighty years old and died of natural causes. Everyone feels pain when their loved ones die. Bad things happen all the time, but you can’t stop living for maybes and what-ifs.”

  “After talking to Mom, I’m beginning to realize that.” I don’t tell her about Mom’s phobia. In time, I will, but there isn’t any point in explaining now. I’m just coming to terms with it myself. All these years, I thought Mom was depressed. I’m the worst son for not realizing there was an underlying cause for her behavior. I give Mom credit. She did a damn good job hiding her phobia from me.

  “Where does that leave us?” Shannon asks, her gaze boring into mine.

  “That’s up to you. Are you willing to forgive me?”

  “Now that you’ve explained everything, yes. My life is better with you in it.” Those blue eyes shine like bright crystals peering into my soul. Her honesty is the refreshment I need.

  “God, I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I lean forward and press my lips to hers. The kiss starts slow and sweet, a symbolization of unspoken promises and needs. Those soft lips of hers feel like home and exactly where I belong. I’ve missed this girl in so many ways. The light touch of her fingers weaving through my hair and the low moans vibrating against my mouth go straight to my groin, making me yearn for more. I pull away before doing something regretful. We’re out in the open where anyone can see.

  “We need someplace more private.”

  “Take me home, Noah.”

  We waste no time gathering the blankets.

  “My place or yours?”

  “Mine.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Shannon

  The back of my head bangs against the bedroom door as his mouth devours mine. His kiss is filled with raw hunger and need. Thank God, Cara is with Braxton. I don’t think I can wait another second without having Noah inside me. In haste, I tug at the hem of his shirt. He breaks apart from me just enough to reach behind his back and lift the shirt over his head. The shirt lands on the floor, and his mouth returns to mine as if being apart for those two seconds had caused great agony. Maybe it did. It has been a while since we’ve had sex.

  “God, I’ve missed you.” His hands grip my hips, and he pulls me to him, his ar
ousal showing me just how much truth his words hold.

  And I’ve missed him. Missed everything about him. His touch. His soft laugh. The way he makes me feel when we’re together. Our friendship. Every piece of him. “Then quit talking and start showing.”

  His chuckle vibrates against my lips. “I’ve even missed that sassy mouth of yours.”

  We make quick work of our hands unbuttoning each other’s shorts as an ache gathers between my thighs. The shorts and underwear join his shirt on the floor. I swallow down the trepidation and try not to think about my shirt coming off next. I want him too much to stop this. His eyes match mine as he grabs the first button. His fingers still, as he silently asks for permission. I give a slight nod and take a stuttering breath as he pops each button open. Then, his lips are back on mine as fervent as earlier. I will the gallop in my chest to slow its pace, but those old reservations come back to haunt me. He did break up with me the last time after I removed my top. I know that wasn’t the underlying reason, just unfortunate timing, but my mind still goes there. I run my hands along his torso, forcing myself to concentrate on every rigid plane instead. His body is pure perfection while mine…

  The top falls to the floor, and he makes quick use of his hands in removing the bra. He breaks the kiss and steps back. My mouth dries as I watch as his gaze dips down to my bare chest, past my scars, and down the entire length of my body. It’s as if he’s soaking every detail to memory. The full appreciation, settling in his eyes, hardens my nipples. I’m both turned on and semi-frightened by what he could be thinking.

  Those beautiful green eyes of his darken to jade and fill with heat. “I was a damn fool to think I could walk away from you. You’re so fucking sexy and sweet. I need you now.”

  His feet gobble the small distance between us, and he claims my mouth. The kiss is frenzied and rough as if he can’t get enough of me. Thank God. I don’t think my mind can handle it slow. If he treated me as if I’d break, I think a part of me would die.