Falling, Fallen- Reese

by RaeAnne Hadley

  “I’m doing really good. How are you?”

  He nodded. “Doing good.”

  She giggled and he looked at her quizzically. “I didn’t think I was that funny looking.”

  She slapped his arm playfully. “You were never funny looking. Still handsome as ever. What’s funny is I never see you here, then the one night my girlfriends and I get together and start talking about the one that got away, which was you, and I look over and here you are. How crazy is that?”

  “Yeah, crazy.” He wasn’t sure what to say to her. Hearing that she considered him the one who got away brought up the pain of the day she text messaged him that she was ending it. She deserved to feel the pain that he felt all those years ago.

  She shuffled her feet for a moment, an awkward silence between them. She shrugged and looked over at the bartender setting her pitchers down. “Well, I better get back. It was really good to see you again, Reese. Take care.”

  He nodded. “You too, Rachel.”

  He watched her walk away and wanted to punch himself. Had he really just blown her off? It must’ve taken quite a bit of courage to come over and talk to him.

  A painful thud on his shoulder blade brought him to his feet, fists ready to retaliate. Reyker held his hands up in submission, Jackson smirking behind him.

  “Dude, easy. We saw you talking to that smokin’ hot blonde and then you just let her walk away? What’s wrong, was she asking about me?”

  Jackson snorted and pushed past their little brother to grab his glass of beer. “She’d be asking about me if she was over here for anyone.”

  “Dream on, Jackson. She came over for me. Don’t you recognize her?”

  Both of his brothers craned their necks to look at her again and Reese groaned. They weren’t exactly covert.

  Reyker sucked in his breath. “Is that Rachel?”

  Reese nodded his head. “Yep.”

  “Aw, dude. What did she want?”

  “Just to say hi.”

  “Did you get her number? Are you going to see her again?”

  Jackson slugged Reyker in the gut. “Have you lost your mind? She devastated him. Of course he’s not going to see her again.”

  Reese glared at his older brother. “She didn’t devastate me.”

  Reyker rubbed his tender gut. “Bro, she devastated you. You wandered around like a zombie for a good six months. We were taking bets on when you were going to snap out of it. I lost.”

  “You guys were betting on my broken heart?”

  “See? You just admitted she devastated you.”

  Reese stood up and set his glass down on the bar. “I’m outta here guys. I’m just not in the mood to be here anymore. I’ll see you Sunday at the diner.”

  “Reese, don’t leave. We can still have fun.”

  Jackson held his brother back. “Let him go, Reyker. He doesn’t want to hang out and watch his ex all night. It wouldn’t be fun.”

  Reese raised his hand to wave goodbye as he walked towards the door. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night. The wound he obtained fifteen years ago was ripped wide open again. Healing obviously hadn’t been achieved.

  The whiskey had eased his suffering last night but this morning was causing more harm to his head than it had helped with his heart. Swinging his legs off of the couch he had passed out on last night, he took a moment to gain his bearings. Resting his head in his hands, he waited for the room to stop spinning. Stetson whined and stuck his cold, wet nose in Reese’s face.

  “Stetson, go away.”

  The dog whined again and Reese recognized the tone. Unless he wanted to be cleaning up a mess with an extreme hangover, he better let the dog out.

  Standing shakily, he walked over to the front door and opened it. Stetson bounded out happily, barking at the birds who took flight with his approach. Reese walked over to the coffee pot, glad he had the common sense to fill it and set the timer last night before heading out to the bar.

  He poured himself a mug and sat down at the dining room table. It was past eight in the morning and he was glad that his cows and horses were out in pasture. The chickens could wait a bit longer before he let them out for the day.

  Picking up his phone, he smiled as he saw all of the text messages from his brothers. Judging by the pictures they sent him last night, it appeared that both had gone home with the pretty ladies they had been dancing with.

  His phone vibrated and he picked it up to see who was calling so early. This was one call he couldn’t ignore.

  “Mom, why are you calling so early? Is everything okay?”

  “So early? Son, it’s seven fifty-six in the morning. You normally get up at four thirty.”

  He rubbed the scruff on his jaw. “Yeah, you’re right. Late night with your other sons.”

  She chuckled. “Yeah, I’m getting ready to call them next. I figured they didn’t go home alone,” she paused. “Are you alone?”

  “Yes, Mom. I’m alone. I left early.”

  “Why did you leave early? You don’t often get to go out with your brothers. Did you get into a fight?”

  “No, Mom. Nothing like that. I just ran into someone and I didn’t feel like being there anymore.”

  “Was Sarah there? Last time her and I talked, she and Ben were fighting but I didn’t think it was that serious.”

  “No, it wasn’t Sarah…wait, her and Ben are fighting?”

  “Just a lover’s spat, I’m sure. I offered to come pick up Jake and Jennifer so they could work things out but she insisted it wasn’t that serious. I’m glad to know she was at home with Ben.

  “So, who was it at the bar?”

  “It was just Rachel, Mom. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “Rachel was there? Wow, I didn’t think she was still around town.”

  “Why wouldn’t she? This is her town too. It’s not like I have a claim here and anyone who breaks my heart isn’t allowed to live here anymore.”

  “Well, aren’t our egos a little big this morning. I only meant she had gone away for a couple years. I hadn’t heard she was back.”

  “You didn’t tell me she went away. Where did she go?”

  “I didn’t think it mattered after she broke your heart. She went to Europe to travel across the country. Her mother and I still talk occasionally and she mentioned that Rachel was on a quest to find herself and figure out what she wanted to do with her life.”

  “She didn’t break my heart, Mom. Wow, I didn’t know she had traveled. What did she end up doing after she figured out what she wanted to do?”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t ask her last night. She turned out to be a food blogger.”

  “We didn’t talk that long. It was slightly…awkward.”

  “Oh, well are you alright? Last time you were pretty devastated.”

  He slammed his coffee cup down onto the table in frustration. “Why is everyone saying that she devastated me? That’s such a strong word. Yes, she hurt me but devastate?” That’s a little extreme.”

  “Sweetheart, you wandered around like…”

  “If you say zombie, I’m hanging up the phone right now.”

  “I wasn’t going to say zombie and if you ever hang up the phone on your mother you will never be allowed over for Easter dinner again. I was going to say like a lost puppy dog but zombie would be more a more accurate description.

  “Anyway, the reason I’m calling is because you haven’t put Jennifer’s dance recital on SocialPage yet.”

  “I thought you wanted her flute recital. That’s the one I uploaded.”

  “I did want to see that one but I haven’t seen her dance yet.”

  “Sure, Mom. I’ll get that up today. I need to go feed livestock but I’m not planning on going anywhere today so I’ll have time.”

  “I remember the days of having a hangover. Try V8 juice with extra pepper and a dash of hot sauce. Helps every time.”

  He chuckled. He remembered the stories Dad would tell of Mom when they were young
er and dating. She was a wild cat. “Thanks. I’ll try that. I’ve got to go do chores and then I’ll get the dance recital uploaded.”

  “Thanks honey. You’re my favorite son.”

  He couldn’t help his laughter. She said that to all of them when they did something right. “You are such a liar, Mom.”

  She giggled at his accusation. “You’re right. I love you all. Have a good day, honey. Stay out of your own head.”

  “I will, Mom. I love you too.”

  He took another sip of his coffee after he ended his call and decided to make his chores go quickly as possible.

  Jumping on the four-wheeler, he fed the livestock, checked water and was done within the hour. With most of the pairs and horses grazing on pasture, he didn’t have to feed that many mouths.

  He stumbled back into the house, his mouth dry and thick. Making himself a V8 drink, he grabbed his laptop and flopped down on the couch. He didn’t foresee leaving it for very long today. Stetson sat on the rug, staring at him intently.

  “Sorry bud. We are chilling on the couch today.”

  Stetson whined and lay down with his head resting on his paws, watching Reese in case his master changed his mind.

  Reese flipped open his laptop and opened the SocialPage. His feed was filled with images of his brothers and the young ladies cutting a rug on the dance floor and slamming some shots. He grinned, knowing his brothers were probably in as much pain as he was this morning.

  A familiar face caught his attention. Rachel was dancing in the background of one of the pictures. It must have been a fast song because she was dancing alone, her hands in the air, a drink in one hand.

  He studied her curves, the way her hair was flowing, the curve of her cheeks with her smile. The ache hit his stomach and his heart again. Why couldn’t he get over her?

  He went to his page to upload Jennifer’s dance recital. The sooner he got that done the sooner he could get off the site. He saw most of his friends had accepted his friend request and posted questions of how he was doing and telling what they were up to. Responding quickly to their posts, he was pulled into the past when things were simpler and he had his entire life planned. Funny how things can change so much from what you imagine.

  He saw a friend request from Rachel and froze. Should he accept it? Did he really want to see pictures of what she’s doing, what she’s done and possibly who her new beau is?

  The logical part of him screamed out no, that his heart couldn’t take it but his curiosity got the better of him and he accepted her request. The webpage automatically took him to her page and there she was for all of her friends to see. Her life as she presented it.

  He scrolled through her posts. She was definitely popular and traveled a lot. There were several pictures of her surrounded by attractive men and women and he was surprised when the green-eyed monster took ahold of his gut. Was there a man in those pictures she was sleeping with? Attracted to, at the very least? As irrational as it was, he found that he wanted to be the object of her desire.

  He sat back and blew out a breath. What was there for her to desire? He was the same cowboy he had been over fifteen years ago. He lived in the same house, wasn’t a world traveler and had the same work schedule as he did back when they were dating. It hadn’t been enough back then so why would he even consider the possibility that she would be interested in him now.

  A beep and a window popped up on his screen, distracting him from his depressing thoughts.

  Hey stranger! Thanks for accepting my friend request. Was sad to see you left early last night. Hope it wasn’t because of me. It was really good to see you again.

  He couldn’t help the smile that pushed away the grimace and allowed the warm fuzzies to pulsate in his stomach.

  Good morning. Of course I would accept your friend request. Yeah, well I had some work I had to take care of this morning. It was good to see you again too.

  He studied his message, making sure it didn’t come across too needy or desperate. When he was sure it was casual, he hit the send button. He wasn’t sure if she was going to respond or if it had been a courtesy message. The little talk bubble appeared and he waited anxiously what her reply was going to be.

  Always working. You haven’t changed at all. Still a steady workhorse.

  Her statement slammed into him and frustration shook through him. He had changed. He wasn’t the same man she had left. He poised his fingers over the keyboard to respond when the talk bubble popped up again.

  I always admired that about you. You are dependable and take care of things. Like you took care of me. I was pretty young and stupid back then. Anyway, I have to go. Hope we can catch up sometime. Have a great day.

  She admired him? The boring, steady, dependable part of him? Well that was a twist. He thought that’s what chased her away in the first place. Deciding not to respond, he closed out the website and finished the last of his V8 juice. Suddenly he wanted to go out and take care of some repairs he had been putting off on the fences.

  The next week flew by. Supper with his brothers had been similar to an inquisition. They pushed and prodded about seeing Rachel again and Reese found it irritating, especially since he had the same questions himself. Though he would never admit that. He left before dessert, leaving so many questions hanging.

  On Tuesday he went to the auction and picked up six more pairs of cows and calves to add to his herd. It was a slow way of growing but he’d rather do it steady and right than buy a bunch of livestock that wouldn’t benefit his line. He wanted top quality beef that wasn’t so genetically modified that health issues compromised the health and welfare of the animal.

  Wednesday he was fixing the fencing that he had been inclined to do Saturday but was too hungover to accomplish. Thursday was moving cows from one pasture to another to prevent overgrazing. And now it was Friday again and the question that was currently running through his mind was: should he go to the bar tonight on the chance that he would run into Rachel again? He didn’t want to come across as stalking her. His brothers had been up to going dancing and romancing again so it’s not like he was going there just for her.

  His question and decision were made for him when Ryker sent him a text.

  Be at the Sundance by seven. No excuses. See you there.

  He tried to stomp down the worms wiggling around in his gut as he drove to the bar. He hated that he was acting like a love-struck puppy dog. Hell, he didn’t even know if Rachel would even be there, let alone want to spend time with him. Shit, what if she was there with another man? He knew he couldn’t handle that. He felt like he was barely hanging on by a thread as it was.

  He pulled off the side of the road and put his flashers on. Grabbing his phone, he started to text Jackson. He would just tell him he wasn’t feeling well and would catch up with them later. He didn’t hit send. Jackson would probably accept that because he’d be knees deep in beautiful women tonight but Ryker would drop his drink and come check on him. Ryker worried about the family, more so since their father passed away from the big C a few years back. He couldn’t do that to him.

  Taking a deep breath, he pulled back onto the road and turned off his flashers. Big boy boots, it was time to pull them on.

  Walking into the dark building, he was relieved to spot his brothers right away and see that they had a table, pitchers of beer and glasses strewn across the top.

  He began to stride across the floor when Ryker spotted him. Nudging Jackson, they both turned to Reese, raised their glasses and yelled at the top of their lungs, grabbing the attention of everyone in the bar.

  “Reese!”

  He ambled over and punched Jackson in the side, causing him to spill his beer.

  “Can you guys be any louder?” he grumbled.

  Ryker laughed. “Actually, yes we can.”

  Jackson tried to sucker punch Reese back once he caught his breath but Reese evaded his swing easily.

  He picked up a pitcher, inspected a glass to make sure it wa
s unused and poured himself a cold one. After downing half of it, he finally came up for air, allowing the alcohol to stomp out the worms and still their wiggles. He glanced around hating himself for seeking Rachel so desperately.

  A large hand rested on his shoulder. “She’s here, over in the far corner with a group of people. We can’t tell if she’s here with one of the guys or not. She’s friendly with everyone.”

  He met Jackson’s eyes and hated the compassion he found there. He shrugged the hand off and cocked his head. “I wasn’t looking for her. I was seeing who all was here tonight. Any hotties?”

  Ryker snorted, beer spraying everywhere. “Hotties? Since when did you start talking like a player? Nobody uses the term hotties, Reese.”

  Both Reese and Jackson began wiping the liquid from their clothes, Reese’s irritation growing. This was a mistake.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t have come…”

  “Dude, you need to address this head on. The games aren’t going to help you at all. Just be honest with yourself. You are all twisted up about Rachel. This is a fact that anyone can see and it’s okay. Just take the time to untwist, get to know her for who she is today and everything else will become clear.”

  Reese stared incredulously at his older brother. “Since when did you become so Zen?”

  “Just listening to my spirituality. You should watch some YouTube videos on Buddhism and meditation.”

  “Buddhism? When did you start practicing that religion?” Ryker laughed.

  “Buddhism isn’t a religion, much to many people’s surprise. It’s just a way of calming your mind and seeing the world around you in a different way. I started right after I was in the ER for chest pains.”

  Reese felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut. “When were you in the ER and why am I just now finding out about it?”

  “Me too,” Ryker squared on his big brother, pain and anger filling his eyes.

  Jackson shrugged his shoulders. “Because I didn’t want to deal with this.” He waved his hands in front of his brothers. “If it had turned out to be serious, I would’ve let you know but it wasn’t.”