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J.

Page 29

by David Brining

Jargo later turned this into a patio for garden furniture magnate Jumbuck Jorum who marketed it under the brand-name Mutton Mosaic. In the Jordanian Archaeology Museum, however, Jargo had discovered a new passion: Jugs.

  "Jugs," he repeated. "I love jugs. I find them fascinating, the shape, the feel, the curves. I like jugs of all shapes and sizes, colours and designs. They had a couple of dozen in the museum. Most of them came from Jericho. There was a beautiful Greek jug in blue and yellow. Some jugs are absolutely priceless."

  "Well, quite," said Veda.

  "Did you know that ancient tribes buried their children in jars and concealed them under the floor of the house so that the child would still be part of the family circle?" said Jargo. "I saw a little skeleton, full of soil, in a broken up pot. It's a moving idea, to keep the family together like that. I'm writing a paper about it called Family Jugs."

  A mental picture of the pink-lurex-leotarded, pendulous- breasted American supermodel opening her fitness video with the huskily-voiced words "Hi. I'm Plesantly Bulging and I'm here to get you fit kwik" sprang into Veda's head. She recalled the supermodel bending briskly at the waist and touching her toes with her tits. Her enormous thighs and pendulous breasts made girls feel inadequate and boys' wrists stronger.

  "Since I'm interested in Judaism, I might call it The Jugs of Jews," he continued. "I find the whole Jewish thing fascinating. Gefilte fish, matzo and pickled eggs, fasting and Passover, Hebrew and Aramaic, black, wide-brimmed hats..."

  "Are you Jewish?" asked Veda.

  "No," he said. "When I was thirteen, I wanted a Bar Mitzvah but my Dad wouldn't let me. I'd quite like to be a Rabbi but it's that whole circumcision thing. I'm not quite ready for that yet. But I practice with Scotch tape. It kind of secures things for a short while. You get the feel of it, I guess. Do you wanna see?"

  Veda cleared her throat. "Have you been to Israel?"

  "Sure," said Jargo. "Jerusalem's ace. I particularly liked Mea She'arim. Very Hassidic. I got my camera smashed when I photographed a bunch of lads in hats. An' I saw the Tomb of King David. David's a hero of mine. He killed a Philistine and united a nation. Then we schlepped to Jericho in a jeep. My cousin blew a trumpet as we approached the town. 'Cos of Joshua, you see." He shook his head in despair. "They're all mad. Don't get involved with them. They'll ruin your life. You don't need it."

  "Veda!" Mr Jambres was standing in the car park. "The presentation's beginning."

  "I have to go," she said.

  "Bewahre doch vor Jammerwoch," said Jargo suddenly "JASON means danger. The jay is the Devil's messenger. Don't forget that."

  "What?" She stared. "What do you mean? What do you know?"

  In reply, he rolled up the hem of his shorts. Tattooed on his thigh was the single word, in green and brown JASOn.

  "Some says it's my destiny,'' said Jargo Jaconet. ''I say it's a pile of crap."

  "Veda!" called Mr Jambres.

  "The Devil's Messenger," said the boy. "Don't forget. Be careful. They'll lead you into danger."

  Mr Jambres adjusted his pipe and advanced towards the canal.

  "See you around." Jargo bolted.

  Jambres clamped his fingers round Veda's upper arm. "You don't want to believe anything he says. He's just Vindictive and Jealous."

  jealous, adj, 1. suspicious or fearful of being displaced by a rival 2. (often postpositive and foll. by of) or vindictive (towards), 3. (often postpositive and foll. by of) possessive and watchful

  He led Veda back to the hall to witness the presentation of a gold medal inscribed with the letters VJ and suspended from a maroon and cream ribbon to the victorious Jerboa Jenneting. Her nose clogged up with the sweet smell of Deep Heat and sweat. She felt quite sick.

 

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