Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds

by David C. Pollock

  To help parents make wise choices, let’s look at specific options generally available to third culture families. Although the variety may seem a little confusing at first, these choices give parents the necessary flexibility to help meet the needs of each individual child. The most common methods for formally educating TCKs include home and correspondence schooling, online schools through the Internet, satellite schools, local national schools, local international schools, boarding schools, and preuniversity schooling in the home country. The following sections discuss some of the pros and cons of each of these options.

  HOME AND CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLING

  Figure 15-1 Pros and Cons of Home and Correspondence Schooling

  An increasing number of internationally mobile families use various methods of homeschooling, particularly for younger TCKs. Some parents create their own curriculum. During home leave, one mother went to the local public grade school in Chicago, found out what textbooks they used, ordered those books online, and made her own lesson plans from them for each of her four school-age children.

  Other parents combine materials offered by several homeschooling groups to design their own curriculum. Still others use a syllabus offered by a specific correspondence school, including DVDs. In some of these cases, the lessons are monitored by the parents but graded by teachers back home.

  SCHOOLS ON THE INTERNET

  In recent years, online schools have added another dimension and option for those who have to, or choose to, school at home. In these programs students log in online and, in real time and through the miracles of teleconferencing, can listen to the teacher speaking from another continent and can interact with fellow students who may be on five other continents. This can be particularly helpful for families who live in remote areas of the world—as long as they have satellite dish connections or some other means of high-speed Internet. The positive here is that there are definite schedules the child has to meet, classes are taught by professionals, and the parents are no longer the primary tutors. Students can make friends with classmates even though they may not meet in person. Some online schools even offer virtual graduations to add to the sense that this is, in fact, an actual school.

  Figure 15-2 Pros and Cons of Schools on the Internet

  Some parents have successfully put together a smorgasbord of educational options by combining modified homeschooling and correspondence courses with online or national schools. A growing cooperation between counselors from local and international schools with parents who are homeschooling for various reasons is another positive development for many globally mobile families.

  For any type of homeschooling or correspondence and online schools, parents must have access to educational tools, technology, and other resources in order to do a good job. One compelling reason for working with counselors from an online, local, or international school is to make sure the parents have access to standardized testing. It is important for parents using any of these homeschooling methods to know the content and sequencing of the curriculum to ensure it will be compatible with the child’s next educational step. Standards required in a more structured school setting must be maintained.

  Keeping to a time schedule is also important for homeschooling. We’ve met TCKs who saw no reason to be on time, or present, for their classes when they began university. They disdained such requirements as “too rigid.” In their experience, if interruptions to planned schoolwork happened in the morning, it was no big deal. They would do it that afternoon, or perhaps the next day, maybe on the weekend—occasionally, never. Of course, interruptions happen in any life, but this lack of structure should not be the main pattern.

  The greatest benefit to homeschooling is, of course, that kids remain with their parents. This is important, particularly in a child’s early years. Some ATCKs who presumably did “just fine” as six-year-old boarders struggle as adults with attachment issues not only to parents but to their spouses and children as well. Another benefit—especially to those with erratic home leave or frequent relocations—is that the children can maintain continuity in school without having to jump from one system to another in the middle of the year.

  Homeschooling, however, isn’t always the best option—even in its most creative form. First, TCKs may be isolated from peers—particularly those TCKs raised in remote areas. This may not be a significant problem during early childhood, but it can be a serious problem during the teenage years when peer approval seems more crucial than parental support.

  Second, the dynamics in some families simply aren’t suited to this type of schooling. Perhaps the parents have neither the natural nor the professional skills to properly teach the academic subjects. One or both parents may be so disorganized that instruction is haphazard or never takes place at all. Some kids chronically refuse to do anything their parents suggest, causing constant friction and confusion in the home.

  In those situations, the benefits of homeschooling in any of these ways may not be worth the frustrations. That doesn’t mean the parents or children have failed. It only means that homeschooling isn’t the best option for this particular family.

  SATELLITE SCHOOLS

  Figure 15-3 Pros and Cons of Satellite Schools

  In the 1980s, a model for satellite schools was introduced as another option for some TCKs. These are usually small groups of students who have clustered together into a slightly more formalized setting than the individual home. In those early days, the children might have gone to a base from outlying areas for a five-day program and then gone home for the next week or two as they completed their homework assignments with parental help. Now it is more likely the sponsoring agency sends a teacher to a specific locale for a few families. Classrooms often resemble the old-fashioned, one-room schoolhouse. Other satellite schools depend primarily on DVDs or interactive computer programs. While an adult supervises the proceedings, the teaching itself takes place through these electronic tutors, but not in real time as the newer online programs offer. In certain situations, these schools may also use correspondence courses.

  Satellite schools usually have a good teacher/student ratio, with each child receiving individualized attention. They provide more socialization than a strictly homeschool setting, and the TCKs are still able to live at home with parents.

  LOCAL NATIONAL SCHOOLS

  Figure 15-4 Pros and Cons of Local National Schools

  National schools may be one of the best educational options in some countries, enabling children to become immersed in the culture, learn the language quickly, make friends in the locality, and become truly bicultural. Often national schools cost far less than the international schools. In fact, in the United States, they’re free. TCKs can remain at home while having strong peer relationships. More and more third culture families successfully and happily make this choice.

  However, there are special issues to consider as well. If school is taught in a language different from a child’s mother tongue, the TCK must know enough of the local language before entering the school to function comfortably. We know of several sad cases where kids were put in classrooms before learning a word of the local language. Two weeks of absolutely no communication (not even the ability to ask for directions to the toilet) is an eternity to an eight-year-old. Parents must make certain their children have at least elemental language skills before the first day of school.

  If the primary school language is not the parents’ mother tongue(s), parents need to decide how they will deal with this reality. Sometimes those in English-speaking countries forget that globally nomadic families with non-English backgrounds have extra challenges, particularly when their mother tongue is not one of the world’s main language groups. That challenge is how to keep their children not only fluent in speaking their mother tongue, but also in being able to do academic work in it. This can be especially true when the children physically look like the majority/dominant culture. As children want to blend in and be socially acceptable, many do not want to lea
rn their mother language or use it lest they be “different.” It’s also a huge amount of work for both parents and children. Many families eventually give up even trying, and TCKs who are raised in these English-speaking worlds resettle there almost by default.

  Erik and Ria Verrijssen are one couple who have successfully faced these challenges. The Verrijssens are from Belgium, and Erik works for a large multinational corporation. Their three children have grown up in multiple countries (Belgium, Italy, Poland, and the United States) and are now living in Atlanta, a city in the heart of the southern U.S. The challenge they faced was how to send their three children (Hendrik, An-Sofie, and Jeroen) to the local private schools but keep a high level of fluency in Flemish and French. Ria augmented the local schools’ curriculum with daily language lessons in Flemish when the children came home. Although the children objected, sometimes strenuously at the time, all tell her now they are grateful for her hard work in helping them maintain oral and written fluency in their mother tongue.

  Parents should also understand the basic philosophical and methodological underpinnings of this local system, as stated earlier in this chapter. Another matter to consider is the degree of animosity to the child’s nationality in the host culture. If negative perceptions exist, a TCK might be the designated “outsider” and find the school situation intolerable. At that point, even if parents ideologically want their children to assimilate to help in the overall immersion of their family into this new culture, it might be wise to look at other options.

  Finally, there is this issue of assimilation. While one benefit of attending local schools is that it helps TCKs become part of the surrounding community faster, some parents, however, are not prepared for how quickly and completely this might happen. When the child’s behavior or language starts to be more like the host culture’s than the parents’, it can cause much consternation. Suddenly the parents realize the child has little sense of connection to their home culture compared to what he or she feels toward this new place. What does this do to the integrity of family identity? How will this affect their TCK’s ultimate sense of cultural identity?

  Dave Pollock was confronted with the assimilation issue at a seminar on TCKs at the United Nations, where none of the attendees was from North America. To start out he asked them why they had come. After a period of silence, one father said, “Most of us are here to find out how to keep our children from becoming too American.” The other participants laughed and nodded in agreement.

  Dave replied, “Well, I have some bad news and some good news for you. Whether you knew it or not, when you decided to become a globally nomadic family and move to the United States (or any other country), you decided that your children would become third culture kids. That means they will be influenced by the culture they live in and become in some degree bi- or multicultural; it’s inevitable. Now the good news: it doesn’t have to ruin their lives. In fact, it will add a lot to them. It’s okay to be a TCK.”

  Parents must be prepared for this. There are many positive things about TCKs who identify closely with the local culture, but sometimes the cultural immersion is so complete that the TCK chooses to never repatriate. While there’s nothing inherently wrong in this choice, it can be a painful one for a TCK’s parents because they may feel their child is rejecting them along with their culture. It can make decisions for where parents will live in retirement more difficult as well. In their minds, they had always assumed that one day they, their children, and their grandchildren would again be “home” and life would be as it was for their parents and grandparents. Now they aren’t sure where to live. It’s unfair, however, for parents to encourage the great positives of in-depth cross-cultural relationships throughout their child’s schooling and then object when that same child wants to marry and settle down permanently in the host country. Interestingly, however, in the end many parents come to value the world that opened to them in ways that might never have happened if their TCKs hadn’t jumped so fully into this new place. In fact, they’re often quite proud of their globally competent offspring. Still, the possible long-term implications of attending local schools need to be thought through at the beginning of the TCK experience, not the end.

  LOCAL INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLS

  Figure 15-5 Pros and Cons of Local International Schools

  International schools are another popular option for TCKs. A significant problem arises, however, in trying to identify what the term international school actually means. In her master’s thesis, “Some of the Outcomes of International Schooling,” Helen Fail raises these issues:

  Are there certain characteristics which define an international school, and if so what are they? Is it because children from several nationalities attend? if so, then many schools in Britain could be described as international. Is it determined by the curriculum? If so, then only the schools offering the International Baccalaureate would qualify. There are many schools overseas offering a U.S. Or U.K. Curriculum or another mixture which would presumably [result in their being] rated as national schools overseas. It may well be that many schools overseas consider themselves and indeed call themselves international yet never consider that while teaching an international curriculum to a group of students from many different nationalities, the teaching faculty is 95 percent British or American and inevitably they perpetuate certain national and cultural values.3

  As international educators continue working on this matter, undoubtedly the term international school will be more precisely defined in the future. Probably no two international schools are alike, given the diversity of the cultural and educational backgrounds among those who administer them. For our discussion here, we’ll include a broad spectrum of schools under the term international school and loosely define it as meaning any school that has students from various countries, and whose primary curriculum is different from the one used by the national schools of the host country.

  So what are particular elements to consider when thinking of sending a child to an international school? First, cultural framework. Many such schools historically have their grading, style of teaching, basic curriculum, and philosophy of education rooted in a particular culture. This can be fairly obvious if the school is designated as “The British International School of Prague” or “The American School of the Hague.” Certainly, many schools that began with a specific cultural focus have expanded in significant ways to accommodate the changing multinational student population. No longer are students primarily from three or four Western countries; many schools now have 40 to 60 nationalities in large urban centers in Europe. Most schools have embraced the new diversity and work to accommodate the many backgrounds of their students. Some, however, still see themselves as mainly serving their primary community. They believe if people come to their school, they understand the cultural base and have tacitly agreed to that by enrolling a child in this system. Parents can become frustrated later when they feel their voices are not being heard, so this is something to investigate ahead of time. Jill and Roger Dyer write about the disadvantage Australian TCKs face when they take placement tests at many supposedly international schools that are, in reality, based on American standards in testing and curriculum content.

  Why are such [placement] tests invalid? Firstly, such aptitude testing is rarely carried out in australian schools. . . . There has long been a belief among Australian educators that no scores are conclusive because of the enormous range of variables involved. . . . Secondly, there is no doubt that the U.S. Tests are biased in content. Small children may be asked to complete a sheet by filling in the initial letter of a word represented on the page by a picture. One example of this is of a window with flowing material covering much of the glassed area. The Australian child would automatically write “c” for curtains and be marked incorrect, as the required answer is a “D” for drapes. Further evidence of testing which requires cultural understanding is a general knowledge test for primary school children asking what is eaten with turkey at Than
ksgiving . . . The answer required is cranberry sauce.4

  The second thing to examine is curriculum. Whatever their historical roots, international schools are now incorporating broader choices in their subject material, including the International Baccalaureate degree and the International General Certificate of Secondary Education. Languages such as Japanese, Chinese, or Russian may now be offered, when before only the more standard French, Latin, Spanish, and English were available. Many schools offer different choices in history courses, including the history of the host country. In an effort to make it easier for TCKs from non-English speaking countries to repatriate, an increasing number of international schools use a non-Western-based curriculum. Parents must look at the whole picture of any so-called international school to make sure their child’s needs will be met by the variety of subjects offered and the philosophy or cultural base of education practiced there.

  These preceding issues aside, there are several significant benefits of international schooling. High on the list is that children usually remain at home, allowing the parents to have a more active role in school activities and in monitoring their children’s progress. In fact, the very availability of group activities similar to those in schools back in the home country is another advantage. One of the greatest blessings is the diversity of backgrounds among students. When ATCKs look back on their international school experiences, many say they value most what they learned from their relationships with peers from many different nationalities. These global friendships opened the door to knowledge and understanding for a much larger worldview.5