My Year of Saying No

by Morrey, Maxine

  She let out a sigh. ‘I can’t even pack a box!’

  ‘But you can run a brilliant PR firm, cook the best cakes in the world and bring light to a room just by walking in.’

  She looked up at me.

  ‘True,’ I assured her.

  ‘I really am sure about this, I promise.’

  ‘OK,’ I said, hearing the sincerity in her voice and seeing it in her eyes. She was.

  ‘I guess all the packing started to get a bit overwhelming and then everything takes a knock, doesn’t it?’

  ‘It certainly can do. But you’re fine, and this is going to be wonderful. Just think, in a couple of weeks’ time, you’re going to get to wake up every morning to a beautiful view of the Thames and look out over the twinkling lights of London every evening. And share all that with the man you love. Plus, you get to cut out the crappy commute for a brief tube hop.’

  ‘There are definitely benefits. Although the view here of next door’s bins was one that was hard to beat.’

  ‘I hope the estate agent listed that as a feature.’

  ‘Why do you think I’ve had such a stream of viewings?’ Her grin widened and she leant over and hugged me. ‘Thanks, Lots.’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ I said, my voice slightly muffled by her shoulder. Sitting her back, I tilted my head. ‘Do you want some help with this?’ I nodded at the boxes surrounding us.

  ‘I’d say yes, but I know it’s your year of saying no, so I’m thinking this might be a trick question.’

  I grinned. ‘No tricks, I promise. The saying no thing doesn’t mean saying no to everything—'

  ‘I feel like this is information I really ought to pass on to Seb Marshall.’

  ‘Oh shoosh. Look, do you want me to come round with my incredible organisational skills tomorrow and help you whip this lot into shape so you can stop tying yourself up in knots about it all?’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘OK. Good. We’ll be round at ten.’

  ‘We?’ Her eyes lit up expectantly.

  I rolled my own. ‘If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, I’m pretty sure the way to Seb’s heart is not to ask him to come and pack up my best friend’s house as a first date.’

  Jess shrugged. ‘He’s ex-military. They’re usually really organised and like things just so. Who knows? That might be a dream date for him!’

  ‘He’s been on quite a few dates since I’ve known him and, as far as I can remember, none of them have veered in the direction of moving someone’s stuff. It’s been more candlelit dinners and walks in the great outdoors.’

  ‘And yet he’s still single. Perhaps because none of those dates were the perfect one?’ My friend was nothing if not persistent.

  ‘I really don’t know. I know one girl got funny about his prosthetic when it came to… getting intimate.’

  ‘Getting intimate? You all right, grandma?’ Jess laughed. ‘What do you mean, anyway? She didn’t know?’

  ‘Oh, she knew. He’s upfront about that and lives in shorts half the time anyway, but… I don’t know. I guess she hadn’t clicked that he takes it off at night or something.’

  ‘How did he seem after that?’ Jess’ forehead wrinkled with concern and I loved her for it.

  ‘OK. Just took it in his stride – no pun intended. He said it’s not the first time someone’s been uncomfortable about it, and it won’t be the last. He wasn’t bitter about it and didn’t hold it against her. Said it just showed she wasn’t the one for him and that was OK.’

  ‘Sounds like he has a pretty healthy attitude.’

  ‘He does. Although he’ll be the first to admit he struggled with that when he was first injured. I think that’s why he’s so good at what he does with the charity. He’s been there, literally.’

  Jess went quiet.

  ‘I can practically hear the cogs turning. What?’

  ‘Does it bother you?’

  ‘Does what bother me?’

  ‘His injury.’

  ‘Of course not. Why would it?’

  ‘I don’t mean now. I meant if something happened. You know, between you two.’

  ‘Nothing’s going to happen, but it would still be the same answer. Why should it bother me? He’s still Seb. I’m just grateful that he survived and came out the other side of it.’

  ‘I agree. I have a soft spot for him, being your first client. I still remember how excited you were when you signed him up. Of course, that had nothing to do with you having seen his profile picture on his website…’ Jess arched a perfect brow.

  ‘It didn’t.’ Much. ‘I was just thrilled, and a little scared, that things were starting to happen.’

  ‘Of course.’ She nodded in a way that suggested she disagreed with the words coming from both our mouths.

  ‘Whatever. Do you want me to help you with this tomorrow or not?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then I suggest you stop giving me grief about my love life.’

  ‘Or lack thereof.’

  ‘Which is just the way I like it. I have Humphrey and that’s all the men I need in my life right now.’

  ‘Humphrey is wonderful, of course.’ At this, my little mutt woke up, basked for a moment in the praise, and then went straight back to sleep. ‘But I just worry about you. Especially once I move.’

  ‘You won’t be that far away.’

  ‘I won’t be round the corner any more.’

  ‘Jess, I’m fine. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.’

  She flung her arms out. ‘I never want to get rid of you. I’m just worried you will hibernate even more without me living on top of you.’

  ‘Hibernation is very underrated, I find.’

  ‘This is not helping my concern.’

  ‘Oh, will you stop worrying? I’m fine. You’re supposed to be getting excited about this new step in your own life, not fretting about me.’

  ‘So, go out with Seb and I won’t.’

  ‘Jess, he lives two hours away. It’s not even practical. And that’s without the small point of the fact he’s never even hinted that he’d be interested. We’re just friends, and right now, that’s actually really good for me. We get on really well but I honestly don’t think we’d be all that compatible as anything more.’

  ‘What makes you say that?’ Jess asked, topping up my wine.

  ‘You know what he’s like. He’s missing part of a leg and he can, quite literally, still run rings around me when it comes to fitness and stuff like that.’

  Jess paused, thoughtful for a moment. ‘You do have an affinity for your pyjamas, I will give you that. But you’re not entirely potato.’

  ‘Always good to hear.’

  ‘And you’re out every day now with Humphs.’

  ‘That’s true. It’s not been that long since I got him, although I can hardly remember how I got by without him in my life—’

  ‘We’re still talking about the dog, right?’

  ‘Yes. We are.’

  ‘OK. Just checking.’

  ‘Harry is aware how you’re like a dog with a bone sometimes, and how entirely annoying it is, right?’

  ‘Oh yeah. Absolutely.’

  ‘Good. Just checking.’ I echoed.

  She grinned.

  ‘Anyway. As I was saying, I’ve already noticed some benefits to having him. Even just getting up to let him out for a tinkle gets me moving away from the computer, whereas I’d probably have sat there – correction, did sit there – for hours at a time before. And then, obviously, we have our walk every day, rain or shine. I’d never have just gone out for a random walk in the rain, but now I don’t even think about it. We just go.’

  ‘And they say it’s sociable, walking a dog.’

  ‘It can be. You start seeing some familiar faces and we’ve met a few dogs that Humphrey loves to see now.’

  ‘Anyone interesting?’

  I looked up and immediately became suspicious at the far too innocent expression Jess was wearing. ‘Oh, f
or goodness’ sake! Just because you’re hooked up doesn’t mean I have to be!’ I said, half laughing, half exasperated. ‘Two minutes ago you were trying to set me up with Seb Marshall, and now we’re already on to the other dog walkers!’

  ‘I’m just giving you options!’

  ‘I choose the option of none of the above, thanks!’

  Jess gave a dramatic roll of her eyes. ‘Fiiiiine.’

  I leant over, chinked my glass against hers and smiled. ‘Perfect.’

  4

  ‘You look knackered.’

  ‘Thanks. Remind me to write to Yves St Laurent later.’

  ‘OK. Any particular reason?’

  ‘Only because when I caught a glance of myself in the mirror late yesterday afternoon after stacking up the last of Jess’ boxes, I made a detour to the local department store and forked out on a tube of Touche Éclat. It claims to make “signs of fatigue virtually disappear”. And, judging by your immediate reaction upon seeing me, it would appear I have been diddled.’

  He grinned and, tired as I was, bits of me definitely perked up.

  ‘Rubbish. You still look great. You always do. I just know you pretty well by now.’

  I made a derisive noise. ‘It’s a bit late to start sucking up now. I’ve already worked out where I’m sticking the fee for that comment.’

  ‘Damn. Worth a try.’

  I smiled and shook my head.

  ‘You do look tired though, and,’ he held up his hands, palms towards the screen, ‘I mean that in a concerned friend kind of way, not in a critical one.’

  I waved my hand. ‘I know. I am. Turns out Jess has waaaay more stuff than even I anticipated.’

  ‘Did you have to get it all done this weekend?’ Seb had rung for a video chat with a cup of tea around eleven on Saturday morning, as he quite often did, but I’d had to quickly explain that I was taking part in Operation How The Hell Has Jess Accumulated All This Crap and couldn’t really talk.

  ‘Kind of. They both can’t wait to live together and she was only working herself up about getting everything done. It wasn’t good for her.’

  ‘I’m not sure it was that good for you. Why don’t you take the day off?’

  ‘No, I’m fine. It’s done now anyway, so she can stop worrying. Harry’s arranged for a firm to move all her stuff and put it in his spare room and she can just unpack at her leisure.’

  ‘You still look shattered.’

  ‘I’ll get an early night tonight. And it’s looking a bit breezy out there,’ I said, leaning back in my chair to peer out of the window, ‘so that’ll wake me up when I take Humphs out in a bit.’

  ‘Don’t overdo it.’

  ‘Says the man who probably went on a ten mile walk with his own dog this morning before dawn.’

  His laugh reverberated around me, warm and deep. ‘Only five and definitely after dawn.’ He moved his screen to take in Scooby, sprawled out on the floor behind him, legs up, family jewels on display to the world, snoring softly as the tips of his paws moved in his dream. ‘Classy, eh?’

  ‘Must take after his master.’

  Seb glanced back at me, then back at the dog, before returning his attention to me. ‘You know, I think you might have a point. Maybe that’s why we bonded so quickly.’

  ‘Kindred spirits.’

  At this, Scooby let out an audible, and judging by Seb’s face, pungent parp. ‘Jesus, Scoobs,’ Seb grumbled, pulling his hoody sleeve down and burrowing his nose into it. ‘In the interest of accuracy, I’d like to point out that we’re not kindred in everything,’ he said, his voice now muffled somewhat.

  ‘If you say so.’

  Above his hand, his brown eyes twinkled with amusement.

  ‘How did your meeting with Lady Carstairs go on Friday?’ I gave a little eyebrow wiggle. Rumour had it that the Lady Genevieve had the hots for Seb – gossip Jess had been more than eager to find out more about from Harry, whose family knew hers in the way that aristocratic families often knew each other’s business. Apparently, the rumours were entirely true. And, from what Jess could find out, this was a woman who tended to get what she wanted.

  ‘OK.’ Seb nodded, not quite meeting my eye. If I’d had antennae, they’d be on high alert right now.

  ‘Anything I should know?’ I asked, casually.

  Seb lifted his gaze, meeting my apparently nonchalant one. ‘You’re enjoying this far too much for someone who professes to be a nice person.’

  ‘I am a nice person. And what exactly am I enjoying?’

  ‘My discomfort.’

  I made a sympathetic face. ‘Yes. It must be awful to be pursued by a very attractive, intelligent and insanely rich woman. If I said “there, there” would it help?’ I tried not to grin, but with the way Seb was looking at me, it was an impossible feat.

  ‘You’re hilarious. You know that, don’t you?’

  ‘It’s one of my best qualities.’

  He shook his head, still smiling. ‘The meeting went fine. She’s still keen on supporting the charity but wants to discuss things further.’

  ‘I bet she does,’ I mumbled.

  ‘You know I can hear you, right?’

  I coughed. ‘Sorry? Frog.’ I coughed again for effect.

  Seb gave me a patient look and I returned an innocent smile.

  ‘Yeah, right. Anyway, I mentioned that we’re hoping to arrange this summer gala thing and she immediately said she’ll take a table, so that’s a good start.’

  He glanced away for a moment. I narrowed my eyes.

  ‘Was there a caveat to that?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You’ve gone all shifty.’

  He straightened up, laughter creasing his face. ‘I am not shifty!’

  I gave him a look that suggested I disagreed with that.

  ‘Fine. She laughingly said it was on the proviso that she danced with me.’

  ‘There are far worse catches to a deal.’

  Seb dismissed it. ‘I’m pretty sure she was joking. She’d had a couple of glasses of champagne by that point anyway.’

  I was pretty sure Lady Carstairs was deadly serious, and from what Jess had found out, a dance was just the beginning of what she really wanted. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and straightened my notes.

  ‘So, agenda?’ I said, pulling it up on my screen so that it was now split between our video chat and the document he’d sent over last week.

  ‘Yes, ma’am,’ he grinned and I tried not to think about Seb Marshall in a uniform.

  I cleared my throat. ‘Item one. Funnily enough, the summer gala. I’ve had some more thoughts on this.’

  * * *

  By the end of the following week, I was shattered. Jess had moved in and Harry had very sweetly held a welcome home dinner party for her, which, of course, I’d wanted to go to. It had just coincided with a super busy week at work, including a new client, on top of the busy weekend we’d had getting Jess’ life into boxes ready for the move.

  ‘How’s that year of saying no working out for you?’ Seb teased me over the top of his coffee mug.

  ‘It’s fine.’

  ‘Looks it. Are you not saying no enough?’

  ‘I am, to things I don’t want to do. I said no to signing up to a mailing list when I got caught by a chugger on the street the other day. Plus, just last week I turned down a week’s hen do in Ibiza for someone I haven’t even seen in nearly ten years, as well as a candle party from someone at my previous office. Both of which I probably would have said yes to out of a sense of obligation before. It just so happens that this week has involved quite a lot I actually have wanted to do.’

  ‘You look like you could do with a rest.’

  ‘You know what I really fancy?’

  ‘Enlighten me.’

  ‘A spa weekend.’

  ‘Right now?’

  ‘No. Just to look forward to. This weekend, I want to just veg with Humphs in front of the telly, watch old films and eat crumpets.’
r />   ‘Crumpets? That’s very specific.’

  ‘I bloody love crumpets. And you’d better not say you don’t like them because I’m not sure we can be friends any more if you don’t.’

  ‘Then I most certainly do.’

  ‘Is that a fib?’

  ‘Nope. I like a bit of crumpet as much as the next man.’

  ‘You’re such a cliché.’

  ‘You say the nicest things.’

  I toasted him with my tea cup and nodded.

  ‘I’m not sure crumpets are going to cover all the major food groups though.’

  ‘No. I suppose not. I will eat other stuff too. But mostly crumpets.’

  Seb’s laugh took me by surprise and sent a warming thrill throughout my body. I really hated, and loved, when it did that.

  ‘What?’ I asked.

  ‘You.’

  ‘What about me?’

  ‘You just make me laugh. And, before you analyse it, that’s a good thing.’

  I nodded in acceptance.

  ‘So. This spa thing? I take it you’ve done one before.’

  ‘No. I haven’t actually,’ I admitted.

  ’Really?’

  ‘I know. Everyone and their dog seems to have done one but me. But that’s the other thing.’

  ‘What is?’

  ‘Humphrey.’

  ‘I still can’t believe you called him that.’

  ‘Oh shoosh. He likes it, and so do I.’

  Seb shook his head and made a motion with his hand for me to continue.

  ‘Well, I don’t want to leave Humphs out. My parents are off on one of their jaunts. Jess would take him, but I don’t really want to ask her. She’s still settling in and it seems a bit cheeky.’

  ‘Shame you don’t live closer.’

  Wasn’t it just?

  ‘I’d take him otherwise.’

  ‘Even though you have a hang-up about his name.’

  ‘Even though. That just goes to show what a good guy I am.’

  ‘A good guy wouldn’t make fun of his name in the first place.’