Coming Home to Seashell Cottage

by Jessica Redland

  Sabina smiled warmly. ‘Come in, Clare. Take a seat. Would you like some water?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  Sabina poured me a drink from an iced jug on the table. ‘Mike was just about to take a seat, weren’t you, Mike?’ Her voice was friendly yet firm.

  Like a chastised child, Mike pulled out a seat, sat down and glowered at me.

  ‘Thank you for coming, Clare,’ Sabina said. ‘I understand that you emailed Mike last night requesting a discussion about going on maternity leave. Is that correct?’

  ‘It is.’ I wished Mike would stop glowering at me.

  ‘And I understand that your request is to start that leave with immediate effect? Is that right?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Sabina smiled. ‘Okay. We’ll explore the details in a moment. Before we do, Mike and I are a little concerned. As employers, we have a duty of care to ensure that all of our employees are safe at work and, for pregnant women, there are procedures we’d normally follow. I’m very conscious that we haven’t been able to follow these because we had no idea you were pregnant, Clare.’

  ‘Oh. Well, I’m not pregnant.’

  Mike’s eyes widened. ‘You’ve already had the baby?’

  ‘No. My daughter has.’

  His eyes widened even further and he leaned forward. ‘So, what the hell are you requesting maternity leave for?’

  Sabina stared at Mike and gave a little cough. ‘I think you’d better explain, Clare.’

  I tried to stick to the bare facts, but it was still very uncomfortable laying my past out on the table when I’d never opened up to Mike or any of my colleagues about my life before Prime PR.

  ‘I’m sorry to advise you that you’re not eligible to take maternity leave,’ Sabina said, when I’d finished. ‘That’s only available to mothers who have either given birth or who have adopted a child.’

  ‘Oh.’ I could have kicked myself for not Googling maternity rights first. Awkward.

  Mike pushed his chair back. ‘That’s that, then. No maternity leave. Can we focus on business instead?’

  Sabina frowned at him. ‘There are other options we can explore, though. Clare’s facing a unique scenario and as her employer, we want to try to find a way to support her.’

  ‘She can take some holiday leave, then. In March. Late March. The next six weeks are pivotal for the new Elatryx product launch.’

  ‘Late March? I need time off now, Mike. Six weeks’ time won’t work for me.’

  ‘And right now doesn’t work for Prime. You and your team have loads of work on, and I expect you to deliver. You can’t take maternity leave. Sabina said so. I’ve offered you holidays. I think that’s very reasonable. I’d grab the offer if I were you.’

  ‘There are other options,’ Sabina insisted. ‘We need to explore them.’

  I was still trembling. I had a horrible feeling that this was going to end badly. I tried to keep a friendly tone to my voice as I offered a compromise. ‘I don’t mind working from home for a week or two to finish things off and do a handover.’

  ‘How’s that going to work?’ Mike demanded. ‘The odd day at home is fine, but it’s not sustainable. What about meeting clients? Are you going to strap the baby to yourself and take him with you? Leave him in the car and hope he doesn’t cry? Dump him—’

  ‘Mike!’ Sabina snapped, stopping him from digging himself a deeper hole. She turned to me. ‘That sounds like a reasonable compromise and a great starting point. We can explore how practical it is in a moment. Before we do, how long do you think you might need away from work?’

  I tried to avoid eye contact with Mike. ‘Hard to say. It depends when Shannon regains consciousness and how much support she’ll be needing. Callum will be off his crutches eventually, but he won’t be able to cope with a baby on his own. Plus, they have nowhere to live. Could be three months but could be six or more.’

  ‘Six or more? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!’

  I flinched at the volume of Mike’s voice and the expletive.

  ‘Mike!’ Sabina cried again. Her face was pale and I would have bet my life that, like me, she was trembling. ‘I suggest you remember that this is a place of work and that one of your team has come to us with a very reasonable request. Unexpected? Yes. But she could hardly plan for something like this, and it’s our job to find a way of making this work for both parties. How about we take a break for ten minutes while everyone calms down, then we can return and discuss the request without the expletives?’

  Mike shook his head. ‘As far as I’m concerned, the meeting’s over. She—’ he pointed at me ‘—needs to think about where her priorities lie. The way I see it, there are two options: holiday or the highway.’

  I stared at Mike for a moment in astonishment and all I could see was the control freak, awkward bastard, bullying manager my colleagues saw. As if in a film montage, I recalled the snide comments, withering putdowns and public humiliations for failure to meet targets. I recalled the long hours, the no-praise culture, the extensive travel and being forced to go to Ireland when it was clear I didn’t want to. He was just like my da! A feeling of calm swept through me. I smiled, nodded and stood up.

  ‘What are you grinning at?’ Mike demanded. ‘This isn’t funny. You’ve let me down, Clare. I thought you had it in you to go far. Believe me, it’s the last time I promote a bloody woman.’

  Sabina gasped. She opened her mouth to speak but I beat her to it.

  ‘No, Mike. Not funny. Quite tragic, actually. It’s tragic that you are a prehistoric, misogynistic bully. It’s tragic that I used to look up to and respect you, when you’re really not worthy of that respect. It’s tragic that you think a woman has to work fifty times harder than any man to impress you. It’s tragic that you’ll probably walk away from this with no consequences and you’ll take it out on the team I leave behind. The exceptionally talented team, that is, who work their arses off every day and would appreciate a thank you once in a while.’

  ‘They get a bonus. That’s their thanks. Ungrateful little—’

  ‘I haven’t finished! You asked me to think about my priorities. For the last eight years or so, Prime PR has been my life. It’s been my number-one priority, and I’ve more than shown that through the accounts I’ve won and the millions in revenue I’ve generated. My priorities have now changed. I have a daughter, her fiancé and a grandbaby who need me and, if I’m honest, I need them too. Holiday or the highway? It’s a no-brainer. I’ll take the highway. I’ll put that in writing, hand over my laptop and leave the building. Thanks for being so supportive.’

  Mike’s face was purple. I half-expected steam to come out of his ears, like a cartoon character. Sabina, on the other hand, looked as if she was having to stop herself from leaping up and cheering.

  ‘I take it you’re resigning with immediate effect?’ she asked, eyes twinkling.

  ‘She can’t,’ Mike yelled. ‘She’s on three months’ notice. She has to work it.’

  Sabina nodded. ‘Contractually, she does. But given that she mentioned her potential case for constructive dismissal…’

  ‘What? She never mentioned that.’

  Sabina frowned. ‘Sorry, Clare, am I having a senior moment and getting my wires crossed with a different meeting? You did just say that you felt you had been given no choice but to tender your resignation, given the refusal of your manager to consider any other options for your request, didn’t you?’

  I nodded. ‘That’s right. I think a tribunal would be very interested in the sex discrimination discussion too…’

  ‘Well, that went well,’ I said to Sabina, after Mike stormed out of the room, slamming the door. ‘Thank you for doing that. I hope you won’t be in trouble.’

  She smiled and shook her head. ‘I got offered a new job on Friday. I’m just waiting for the contract to come through, then I’ll be handing in my notice too.’

  ‘Congratulations!’

  ‘Thanks. I can’t wait to get away fr
om Mike. Everyone else at Prime is lovely, but most of my challenging cases have been because of him. Mind you, it’s all been great employment law experience.’ She gathered her papers together and stood up.

  ‘I can’t quite believe I’m leaving,’ I said as we walked back to my hot desk. ‘It wasn’t the outcome I expected, but it feels right.’

  ‘What will you do afterwards?’ she asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I’ve been saving for a house deposit for years so I’m financially sound. I can focus on my family for however long they need me.’

  ‘Then I’d say make the most of your time off and really think about what you want out of life. I reckon you’d be brilliant at running your own PR business.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘I’ve always thought that. You’re passionate, driven, focused, organised, great with people and brilliant at self-promotion. You’d be an amazing success.’

  It wasn’t something I’d ever considered, but I liked the idea. I liked the idea a lot. ‘Maybe I will.’

  She smiled. ‘I bet you will. But enjoy your family for now. It’s a lovely story being reunited after all these years. I hope Shannon recovers quickly.’

  ‘So do I, Sabina. So do I.’ I sat down on my chair and switched my laptop on. ‘I guess I’d better write my resignation letter, then.’

  27

  My cheeks burned and tears of frustration dripped onto Luke’s jacket as he screamed, his face bright red and his hands balled into tiny fists, flailing about angrily. It was about 4 p.m. After saying my goodbyes and leaving the office – clutching my handbag and a carrier bag containing my mug and a few other personal effects – I’d caught the train back to Leeds, picked up my car and driven to a specialist baby shop. Mike’s PA, Margaret, had pressed a piece of paper into my hand. ‘I’ve written the essentials on here and the stuff that’s a waste of money. I’ve got five kids and eight grandchildren. If you need any advice, please call me. I’ve written my home number on there too.’ She grabbed me and pulled me into a bear hug. I just hoped that Mike didn’t take out his fury at me on her, poor woman.

  ‘I’m sorry, Luke,’ I cried. ‘I’m trying. I just can’t seem to…’

  ‘Are youse okay?’

  I twisted round to see Nurse Kelly hovering near the boot of the car. ‘Jesus! Are you a sight for sore eyes?’ I wiped the tears off my cheeks.

  A flicker of recognition crossed her face. ‘You’re our little Luke’s nana,’ she declared.

  ‘Yes. And I’m an eejit. He’s coming home with me and I never thought to read the car-seat instructions. I’ve faffed that much, I’ve made him cry.’

  ‘Aw, divn’t worry. They seem more complicated than they are. Youse’ll soon get the hang of it. How’s aboots I…?’

  I stepped back, gratefully. ‘Be my guest.’

  She crouched down and lifted Luke out of his car seat. ‘Ah! I don’t think he’s crying just because youse couldn’t do the car seat. He’s crying because he’s got a stinky bot. How’s aboots I do it quickly?’

  How had I not realised? Great start. I lifted the changing mat I’d just purchased out of the boot and found some wipes, a nappy and a nappy sack. Incredibly, Luke’s cries had stopped. Nurse Kelly was obviously one of those baby whisperers. I wondered if I could bribe her to come home with me and teach me her secrets. Or kidnap her.

  After Luke was changed, in ridiculously quick time, she helped me fasten him back into his seat.

  ‘Firstly, it needs to be the other way round. Aye. That’s it. And you see them clips…?’

  Five minutes later, we were on our way.

  As soon as I pulled into my parking space at Orion Point, I realised I’d messed up yet again. I had a boot full of baby stuff that would probably take me a few journeys had I been on my own. Problem was, I wasn’t on my own. I couldn’t leave Luke in the car while I traipsed back and forth, and I couldn’t leave him in the apartment either. Bollocks! I was going to have to do at least six journeys with Luke in his car seat, with every journey putting me at greater risk of bumping into the Ice Queen.

  Luke decided to demonstrate exactly how many decibels his cries could reach at 2.37 a.m. My hands shook so much while I tried to mix his formula that I dropped the first bottle and what seemed like ten pints of formula covered the cooker, the worktops, the cupboards, the kitchen floor and my PJs. I threw some kitchen roll over the mess on the floor then made up another bottle. And all the while, Luke screamed. And screamed. And screamed. There was no way on this earth that the Ice Queen hadn’t heard.

  The very next day, I was served with my eviction notice. How had I suddenly become homeless and jobless, with a baby to look after and not the faintest clue how to do it?

  ‘Are you absolutely sure about this?’ I said to Ben the following evening.

  He slammed the boot of my car shut. ‘I’m sure. And I was sure the 786 previous times that you asked me.’

  ‘It’s a huge thing,’ I protested. ‘He wakes up in the middle of the night and his screams register high on the Richter scale.’

  ‘Oh, well, in that case…’ Ben opened my boot again.

  ‘I’m serious, Ben. I know you’d do anything for anyone, but this is seriously above and beyond.’

  He shut the boot again. ‘I know what I’m letting myself in for, Irish, and I genuinely want to help.’

  God knows what I’d done to deserve such a good friend. ‘I promise I’ll find somewhere else for us to live as soon as possible but thank you for now.’

  ‘There’s no rush.’

  ‘You won’t be saying that at three in the morning.’

  He smiled. ‘I mean it. There’s no rush.’

  ‘I have a thank-you gift for you.’ I reached into the pocket of my jacket. ‘You’re about to rise to the biggest challenge of your life so far. King of the moment, Ben.’

  He shook his head. ‘No. You keep him. You’ve packed in the job you love and given up your apartment for a grandchild you never imagined existed. You’re king of the moment, Clare. What you’ve done is nothing short of amazing.’

  I pushed the king into his pocket. ‘I’ll be offended if you don’t take him. What you’re doing for us is “nothing short of amazing”. I mean that and you know I’m not generous with the compliments. Or the hugs. But you definitely deserve one of these.’ I wrapped my arms round Ben and squeezed tightly. He squeezed back and, for a brief moment, I found myself closing my eyes and melting into his arms. I’d never really got hugging before. Perhaps it was because Ma and Da had never hugged me. There’d been no physical displays of affection towards anyone in our family. Of course, Daran had held me, but that had been different. We’d been in love. There had been chemistry and longing. I hadn’t understood the need to hug friends but, clinging onto Ben, I suddenly got it. It felt as if all the stresses of the past month or so were seeping out of my body and into his, making me relax and feel that I wasn’t on my own.

  Ben squeezed a bit more tightly and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head, then suddenly let go. Damn! I’d been enjoying that.

  ‘You’d better check on Luke,’ he said. ‘You grab that case and I’ll bring the rest of your stuff in.’

  Taking the case, I went inside. Luke was in the dining room, away from the chaos my belongings had brought to the lounge, snuggled in his carrier, lips pouting, eyes flickering, sound asleep. I wandered back into the lounge and surveyed the mess. Daryl Smithers had issued me an ultimatum: leave at the end of the month and lose my bond for breaching the terms of our rental agreement or leave within twenty-four hours and he’d return my bond and the rent I’d paid for February. I didn’t have much choice. I didn’t have time to seek legal advice, although, let’s face it, I probably didn’t have a leg to stand on because I had breached the terms of my rental contract. I reluctantly accepted his offer and asked Ben if I could take him up on his kind invitation after all. Ben’s mate Pete – the host of the New Year’s Eve disaster – had generously offered his garage as temporar
y storage for my bed and a few other bits of furniture, and had sent his brother and dad to collect it all in a van. I got the impression that he’d heard about what Taz had done and this was his way of making up for what had happened at his house while he’d been out of action.

  Ben appeared with the last few boxes. ‘Déjà vu,’ he said.

  ‘Except this time there’s two for the price of one, and no allowance for a kitchen refurb. Not such a great deal.’

  ‘Kitchen’s already done, thanks to you,’ he said. ‘So the allowance wouldn’t be needed anyway.’

  ‘I’ll pay you rent.’

  He shook his head. ‘There’s no need.’

  I planted my hands on my hips. ‘Bollocks! I may not have a regular salary anymore, but I do have money. If you won’t take payment, you might as well put all my crap back in the car because we’ll not be staying.’

  ‘Okay, okay. We’ll work something out.’

  ‘Grand. Glad that’s settled. Now, go and earn that rent I’ll be paying you by making me a coffee.’

  Ben laughed. ‘Definitely déjà vu!’

  We settled into a routine over the next week or so. Ben continued with his day job with the missing-persons charity, but he temporarily stopped his volunteering shifts. How guilty did I feel about that?

  ‘We’d better move out, Ben. It’s not fair that you’re changing your life for us.’

  ‘You once asked me why I didn’t do anything for myself. I said I already was. I get a kick out of helping others and it doesn’t matter what form that takes. Right now, it’s more important to me that I’m here for you and Luke. I want to do this more than I want to do my volunteering and that’s my final word on the subject.’

  ‘She’s a lucky girl.’

  ‘Who is?’

  ‘Lebony, of course. I think they might have broken the mould when they made you.’

  He held my gaze for a moment, then smiled. ‘You do realise it’s a façade? I’m really a selfish misogynist who’s luring you into a false sense of security before unleashing my evil plan for world domination.’ He touched his lip with his little finger, like Dr Evil from the Austin Powers films. ‘Speaking of Lebony, I’d better go and Skype her. She’ll be dying to know how Luke’s getting on.’