Finding You: The Complete Box Set (a contemporary MM romance series)

by Ana Ashley

  After that, we went to the kitchen.

  “This building used to be a kindergarten, so we have a fully equipped industrial kitchen. It’s here that David does his baking workshops for the kids. One of our older kids, Bruno, recently got a job at Café Lima after excelling at the workshops.”

  Max nodded but said nothing. I made us a coffee each and took him to the back garden.

  “This is a very special part of the project. It was designed and created by the kids who come to the center to socialize.”

  I looked around at everything that made the small, enclosed space a little haven. There were fairy lights in one corner wrapped around an arch made of tree branches, and under the lights there was a comfortable couch we’d gotten as a donation from a furniture store.

  Right next to it, there was a box that served as a side table but was also full of books. Some kids loved to pick a book and read for a few hours when they felt like the social rooms upstairs were too noisy.

  On the other corner, there was a wall that currently had a big rainbow painted on it. The kids thought that having some kind of art in the garden was nice, but it would get boring after a while, so they decided that anyone could paint the wall and it would stay on display for some time until it was painted over again and someone else had a go. I thought it was a fantastic idea because it allowed them to express themselves without fear of judgment, and it also brightened up the place since they all seemed to like bright colors.

  In the middle of the garden, we had a flower pot display with a few recycled school benches around them so the kids could sit in a circle and chat.

  “This is beautiful, Isaac. I remember what you told me about your center but I didn’t realize it was like this.”

  He was looking around and then walked to the sofa under the fairy lights and sat down.

  “There’s so much life in here. It feels cozy, safe, familiar. Like everything a home should be.”

  “Thank you. When I went to New York, this place was nothing like what it is now. Tiago and I spent a lot of time working on it, and the kids have been great. Letting them get involved was the best thing we could have done. Jean-Paul gave me that idea.” I smiled.

  Max looked comfortable sitting on the sofa, and I was tempted to sit next to him. No, correction, I was tempted to sit ON him, so before I ended up doing just that, I grabbed a stool and sat facing him.

  “I spoke to Diogo’s uncle yesterday,” I said. “They’re very excited to see him and invited us to meet the family. Diogo’s uncle is hoping to move to New York to help Diogo while he’s at university. I think he works for a multinational company and can ask to move to their Manhattan office.”

  “That would be great. Diogo will always have a support network at the Liberty Center, but there’s nothing like having your own family around.”

  I nodded in agreement.

  I knew nothing about Max’s family, but from the little David had told me, he’d been close to Joel’s parents. I wondered if he had siblings or an extended family.

  Max asked me more questions about the center and our setup, which I was happy to answer. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been in the garden, but during that whole time, he’d never touched on anything personal or mentioned what had happened that night at the club.

  “Diogo’s family is here,” Tiago said from the doorway.

  “Thanks, we’ll get him and be there in five,” I said.

  We got up to leave at the same time, which meant we’d ended up only inches away from each other. We were nearly the same height, which was perfect for kissing. I looked into his brown eyes. They were dark and unsure.

  “Isaac.”

  I put one hand on his chest and his rib cage expanded beneath my touch. Everything in my body was screaming to grab hold of his neck and pull him into a kiss, but my brain was currently in charge and stopped me from following through.

  “You still have the decoration.”

  I was caught off guard by his words.

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “It reminds me of New York. Of everything that happened and all the possibilities.” I replied honestly since I was talking about more than us. “Where are you staying?”

  “David’s place. I need to rent a car.”

  “Will you have dinner with me tonight? I can drive you back to Caparica afterward. Or you can stay with me.”

  “Isaac.” He let out a breath.

  “It’s only dinner, Max, I just want to talk, and I have a spare room so you don’t have to go all the way south of the river.”

  “Okay. Thanks, I’d appreciate the room, and dinner, too, for tonight.”

  I smiled at him. “Great, let‘s reunite Diogo with his family.”

  22

  Max

  I was cursing myself for not insisting on getting the rental car and traveling to Isaac’s apartment separately.

  Not that I didn’t want to be near Isaac. Quite the opposite, it was more that I needed to get a hold on my feelings, except now I had no choice.

  His dinner invitation had come as a surprise, but the offer to stay in his spare room was a shock. I’d accepted with some reluctance. Was it a good idea to be in such close proximity?

  It was much better to talk in the privacy of his home, so in that respect, I was glad.

  I was just afraid of how I would react to having Isaac all to myself with no one interrupting.

  I’d already decided I wanted to be friends with Isaac no matter how much I wanted more; our best friends were together, and we also had a connection through the LGBTQ Youth Centers.

  At best, I could hope for friendship since we were also on different continents.

  The drive from the center to Isaac’s place served as a good distraction.

  Driving in Lisbon looked challenging. Nothing made sense. There were roundabouts that were so big they probably had their own zip code. There were roads with four lanes that split into two two-lane roads, so if you missed your exit, you were basically screwed.

  It was also a very charming city that I hoped I would have a chance to explore over the next week.

  Isaac’s apartment building looked new. In fact, the whole street must have been built around the same time. The road had a partition down the middle that was populated with trees, and further down the road that divider became a small square with benches. No doubt to allow the locals to enjoy some outdoor time under the shade of the trees.

  I was used to the architectural density of Manhattan, but here, even though we were in the city, it was quiet, and the street wouldn’t have looked out of place in a smaller town.

  We didn’t say much on the elevator ride up, but I couldn’t have been more aware of Isaac’s presence next to me.

  Did he remember when we were last on an elevator together going up the Empire State Building?

  Isaac’s eyes were on me, dark and searching. No doubt he was as nervous about spending time together as I was, even though this had been his idea.

  I gave him my best smile, hoping it carried more of the friendship feels rather than the desire I was feeling.

  Isaac smiled back, and I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a laugh.

  “Does this feel like the worst movie ever or what? Come here.” I pulled Isaac toward me for a hug.

  It didn’t last long because soon the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

  Isaac’s apartment was exactly like him, clean lines with a hint of life you didn’t see until you really paid attention, and when you did, you noticed all the individual things that made up the whole.

  The first thing that caught my eye was the view. The living room was open-plan with a direct route from the door to the balcony with its wide glass doors. The kitchen was to the left, making it into an open-plan L shape, and I assumed the corridor to the right led to the bedrooms.

  I walked toward the balcony doors, pulled in by the amazing panoramic views of the river Tagus and the statue of Christ the Redeemer on the
south bank of the river.

  “Everybody has the same reaction,” he said.

  “It’s stunning, Isaac. How long have you lived here?”

  “Two years. I started off renting from the owner after he moved abroad, but then he decided to sell up, so I bought it from him.”

  “Can we go out—ouch,” I shouted as something hit me on my legs and I felt the bite of sharp claws. “What was that?” I turned around to identify my attacker and saw Isaac crouching down on the carpet.

  “Max, we don’t do that,” he said. “Come here.”

  I was confused as hell, even more confused when I saw my attacker was a small, yellow kitten that sauntered toward Isaac like he owned him, and then jumped into his arms.

  Isaac talked to the cat as though he was talking to a child. “You didn’t need to save me this time. Shall we give you some dinner?”

  I stared at Isaac with the kitten and then it hit me. He hadn’t been talking to me earlier.

  “Wait, your cat’s name is Max?”

  Isaac blushed the most adorable shade of red.

  “Er, yeah. Come with me. I need to feed him before he attacks again.”

  I was sure my face showed my confusion.

  “I didn’t name him because of you,” he said while taking a tin of cat food from the cupboard. I couldn’t see his face, and he was rambling so I let him.

  “Well, not entirely. I was at the beach a few months ago to surf. I was about to go into some dangerous waves and was feeling… Well, never mind. Anyway, I was walking toward the water with the surfboard under my arm when something hit me. I turned around but couldn’t see what it was, and when I turned to walk again, something hit me one more time. I couldn’t see him because his color blended so well with the sand, but when his big dark-brown eyes looked at me, it was like… I sat down on the sand and he curled up onto my lap. That’s when I saw he had a name tag. It said Max.

  “Shortly after, a coast guard came over to warn me not to get in the water because they’d just pulled someone out who got stuck in the undercurrent. Max saved me. I nearly lost him, too.”

  He looked at the cat that was now enjoying his dinner with admiration. I felt a pang of jealousy toward the feline.

  “He had a tag,” I said.

  “I left the beach and took him to the vet. Max wasn’t very impressed with me, or the vet for that matter. He didn’t have a chip on him, so I put the word out with some friends who frequent the beach to say I’d found a cat, but no one claimed him, so he became my roommate.”

  “What did you mean?” I asked.

  “When?”

  “When you said you didn’t name him entirely after me.”

  Isaac looked me straight in the eye. His gaze was tender.

  “He saved my life, Max. I would have gone into the sea that morning. I wouldn’t have been on the beach by the time the coast guard came to warn me, I would have been on the water. I didn’t think about it until later when I almost changed his name. One Max saved me from a fire, and another saved me from the water.”

  Max wrapped himself around Isaac’s ankles, having decided I was no longer a threat.

  “He’s been saving me ever since.”

  Well, that was nothing if not an ominous statement.

  Isaac took two steaks from the fridge and ingredients to make a salad.

  “I have baby potatoes, too. Would you like them boiled or roasted?”

  “Whichever is easiest; I like both ways. Shall I prepare the salad?”

  We got into a routine with our food prep without exchanging too many words. This felt too cozy, too right. The only thing that felt odd was the location. As much as I loved Isaac’s apartment and its stunning views, all my dreams of Isaac and I together were set in New York.

  Considering we were nearing the end of September now, the temperature outside was mild, so we kept the balcony door open and then sat outside with a drink once we’d cleared up our plates.

  “Won’t Max come outside?”

  “He will. He likes it here, especially when it’s sunny, but he’ll only sit on the chair and curl up or stretch to catch the warmth of the sun. He practically owns this balcony and won’t move for anyone, not even me.”

  Throughout dinner, Isaac had told me more about his brother, his wife, and their baby daughter, Sofia. I remembered Sofia was born while Isaac had been in New York last Christmas. We’d even stopped at Macy’s to buy a gift for her.

  It was so adorable how in love he was with the little girl.

  “I was right last Christmas, wasn’t I?” I laughed.

  “About what?”

  “I said you were going to spoil her rotten.”

  He blushed but didn’t deny it.

  “How about your parents? They must be totally in love with her, too.” I could only imagine how Sofia would be the center of everyone’s attention. Babies had a way to do that.

  Isaac suddenly frowned and his demeanor changed.

  “I don’t have parents.”

  “Oh god, Isaac, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.”

  “That’s okay, you didn’t know. They’re around somewhere but not in my or Alex’s life, and most definitely not in Sofia’s life. She has another set of grandparents that more than make up for it. They’re good people.”

  I wondered what had happened and then I remembered my own parents. The pain wasn’t as difficult to handle as it had once been.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “When I came out to my parents, they kicked me out. I went to David, but then his uncle showed up and kicked me out, too. Then I went to a bus station. It was the only place that was open all the time, so I kept moving around, pretending I was waiting for a bus. Some nights, I went to the train station, too. I finally found some people that were doing the same as me, and they took me to this old bus shelter near my school. They had sleeping bags and piles of cardboard they slept on. I was there for a few weeks until David found me and took me to his apartment. He told me he’d had a fight with his aunt and uncle and had changed the locks at the apartment so I was able to stay there.

  “I lived with David for two years until I finished school and then I got a scholarship to pay for my university degree, which included all the living expenses, so I moved out into student apartments.”

  “Sounds like it all worked out well for you in the end then, especially as you still have Alex in your life.”

  “Yes, I was very lucky.”

  We sat in silence for a while, looking at the sun setting on the horizon. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth on my face until Max jumped onto my lap and curled up.

  “Traitor,” Isaac said.

  I chuckled.

  “Max, can we talk about what happened?”

  I knew this was coming, but I was still dreading it. We’d had such a lovely evening that I was almost afraid of ruining it by talking about us and what had happened.

  “Okay.”

  Everything became clear when Isaac explained that the reason he’d left the club that night was because he’d been searching for a missing kid. I was also relieved that the guy he’d gone with was just a friend who worked for the police.

  Somehow, I trusted Isaac when he told me nothing had ever or would ever happen with this friend. I wasn’t sure why he was telling me that, but I was glad to know it nonetheless.

  “What happened after Joel’s parents died?” Isaac asked.

  I turned in my chair to face him, making sure Max was still comfortable in his curled-up position.

  “I never forgot about you, Isaac. I guess I was terrified I’d lose you, too. Joel encouraged me to get in touch, so I emailed a few months later but never got a reply, so my fear came true.”

  Isaac got up and went toward the glass panels that surrounded the balcony, but then turned around. “I didn’t receive any emails.”

  His curly hair was flying softly in the breeze. I got up and went to him, making sure we were so close we wouldn’t be able to move w
ithout touching each other. His eyes looked more green than blue in the brightness of the sunset.

  “I thought you’d lied in New York, that I’d just been a bit of fun and you didn’t really want to keep in touch. I mean, why would you even? We were only together for a day.” The doubt in his voice was as clear as daylight. “But I couldn’t get you out of my mind, so I sent you an email in February, but the email bounced back.”

  He looked down and I couldn’t resist running my hands through his soft hair and tilting his head so I could see his beautiful expressive eyes.

  “I don’t know what happened, Isaac. Maybe we took the details down wrong. It doesn’t matter anymore.” I smiled at him, and when he smiled back, I felt like the sun had skipped the night and was rising all over again.

  “Let’s exchange our details properly this time and make sure we speak before we make any more assumptions, okay?” he said.

  “Okay.” I allowed my thumb to caress his lower lip and felt his breath catch. “Isaac?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m going to kiss you now.”

  23

  Isaac

  How could I ever have believed that surfing or working would ever replace the space that Max occupied in my heart?

  They were just placeholders for the real thing.

  The very same real thing that just told me he was going to kiss me. Even though the words had come out of his mouth, he hadn’t actually done it. He looked at me intently, almost asking for permission. Like I would say no.

  My hands were on his waist as if I needed to hold on to him to keep me grounded. I closed my eyes and felt the wetness of his tongue running over my lower lip where his fingers had been moments ago. That took me by surprise. The breeze chilled my wet lips before the warmth of Max’s mouth covered them fully.