Finding You: The Complete Box Set (a contemporary MM romance series)

by Ana Ashley

  “Will you let it grow now?” I closed my eyes as his blunt nails ran across my scalp making my skin tingle all the way down my spine.

  “Yes.” I breathed out. “Isaac?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’d love to meet your brother.”

  As it turned out, Alex only lived a couple of miles away. I don’t know what I expected, but definitely not a small house with a garden full of flower pots and a couple of fruit trees.

  Joana explained that it had been her grandparents’ house. When her grandmother had passed away, Alex and Joana had just gotten married, so the family decided it would be the perfect place for them to settle in and raise their family.

  I could see they had put their stamp on it with some modern furniture but had also kept some of the older items. It was cozy. A proper home where the love was so palpable you could almost squeeze it with your hand.

  Portuguese people were very hospitable. I’d felt it from the day I first met Joel’s parents, to when I came to Portugal earlier in the summer, and now, with Isaac’s family.

  There was one small difference. With Joel’s family, his grandmother had insisted on us taking a seat and watching her do everything for us, which was a concept I struggled with.

  In Joana’s household, it was an entirely different story.

  “You got to get these boys in line, Max,” she said to me while I helped her with dinner and Alex and Isaac were setting the table. “They’re good, but if I don’t give them jobs to do, they’ll disappear into the garden and chat all day. They’re worse than two old ladies.”

  I thought it was adorable how Isaac and his brother got along. They looked so alike with their curly hair and unique-colored eyes. I didn’t have any siblings, so when my parents kicked me out, there was nothing left for me to go back to or fight for.

  “Do you have any siblings, Joana?”

  “No, I’m an only child. My parents were older when they had me. Isaac kinda became my brother when Alex and I got together.”

  The sound coming from the baby monitor told us Sofia was awake from her nap.

  “Want to come meet the princess?”

  “Definitely.”

  When we walked past the dining room toward the bedroom, we noticed the table only half set and Isaac and Alex in the garden picking weeds from the flower pots.

  “Guys!” Joana cried out, and they both jumped.

  I laughed. They looked so guilty I wondered what they’d been talking about.

  Sofia was the most adorable baby I’d ever seen. She’d been giggling and chatting in her baby speech ever since she’d woken up.

  “She’s normally okay with strangers, but I think she’s totally smitten,” Alex said as I bounced Sofia on my lap after finishing my dinner.

  “I think I’m totally smitten back. I mean, look at her.”

  Joana and Alex looked at each other with such pride and love.

  “No, no, no. Give her to me,” Isaac said, taking her from my lap onto his. “Who’s your favorite uncle, my little popcorn?” Sofia giggled. “Yes, that’s right; Uncle Isaac is your favorite. Aren’t you so smart? Yes, you are. Beautiful and smart, like your mommy.”

  “You’re still doing the dishes,” Joana said. “Who’s up for dessert?”

  A collective “me” got Sofia clapping her chubby hands.

  We left Joana and Alex’s place after helping them clear up from dinner while Joana put Sofia to bed for the night.

  “I can see how Sofia has you wrapped around her chubby little finger,” I said as we got in the car, heading toward Lisbon.

  “Right! I think Joana’s parents were really happy they decided to have children quite young.”

  “They’re a great couple.”

  “I’m so proud of Alex. He’s always been so strong. Even after our parents kicked me out, he found ways to see me. He reassured me that whatever happened, we would always be brothers.” Isaac let out a chuckle.

  “What?”

  “Do you want to know how they got together?”

  “I’m guessing it’s a good story.”

  “Alex and Joana were in the same class at university. Alex worked in a bar in the evenings, so one evening I was keeping him company because I didn’t have anything better to do when this beautiful girl came in. She was all long, dark hair and big brown eyes. The bar was quiet, but after assessing her surroundings, she came to sit next to me. She was quite chatty, so I thought she was trying to flirt with me. I was about to tell her I bat for the other team when Alex came over and basically told her I wasn’t interested and that he’d love to take her out.”

  “I take it she said yes.”

  “She told him if he wanted to ask her out, he’d have to try harder, and then she left the bar. As it turned out, they’d both been secretly crushing on each other. She took the first step by going into the bar and pretending to be interested in me to make him jealous, and he fell for it.”

  Listening to the story and seeing firsthand how much love Isaac had around him made me feel so happy for him. He thought his brother was the strong one, but I would disagree. He didn’t let all the shit from the past get in the way of him making a family, and fuck if I wasn’t proud of him for forgiving Mário.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off Isaac as we went up to his apartment. He smiled every time our eyes met but didn’t let it linger.

  There was no doubt we had amazing physical chemistry, but he was becoming a whole person in my eyes, which just validated the strange feelings I’d had at Christmas and why I had wanted to follow him to Portugal.

  I realized then that I was fucking in love with Isaac, and there was nothing I could do about it. In a few days, I would be heading back to Manhattan, and he would stay here where he belonged, with his family, and doing amazing work for the Center.

  When Isaac unlocked the door, I ran straight to my room.

  My chest was tight and I was struggling to draw a breath. Tears ran down my face. I couldn’t believe after everything that had happened, I’d gone and let myself fall in love with him.

  I stripped and got in the shower, hoping it would help wash away the anger I was feeling toward myself, as well as the tears.

  Not long after, the shower door opened, so I looked up from where I was sitting on the floor under the water spray.

  Isaac looked really worried. Also really naked. I had to look down and shake my head. All I needed now was to start having visions, too. I laughed. Maybe that would help me when I was miles away and could pretend he was there with me.

  A hand stroked my head and rested on my neck.

  “Why are you crying?”

  I looked up and those blue-green eyes were staring back at me.

  “Seeing you with your brother, Joana, and Sofia. They’re all so great. I’m so fucking happy for you, Isaac. You have a beautiful family.”

  “I do have a beautiful family,” he said as he adjusted our positions so I was sitting with my legs extended and he could straddle me, “but can we not talk about them when we’re both naked in the shower?”

  Water was falling on us, still running warm even after all this time.

  I pulled Isaac into a hug. It didn’t matter that we were both naked or that his erection was pressing against me. I just wanted to feel him close.

  “Talk to me, Max,” he whispered in my ear.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t put that burden on him. I didn’t know how Isaac felt about me, but I knew that if he left everything behind to follow me to Manhattan, I would never forgive myself for putting an ocean between him and his family.

  “Didn’t we say no more misunderstandings, Max? We promised we’d talk to each other. Don’t shut me out.”

  I couldn’t tell him I loved him, but I could show him instead.

  “Isaac, will you spend the night with me?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” His lips crashed onto mine with fierce want. My dick responded to Isaac’s assault, seemingly having fo
rgotten how upset I was moments before.

  “Max, fuck, I need more. Let’s wash and go to bed.”

  “Second best idea you’ve had all day.”

  We washed like the water was going to run out. Isaac took me by the hand to his bedroom, claiming his bed was bigger and more comfortable.

  “Where’s Max?”

  “You’re here! Right where you need to be. And naked, which is a big plus in my opinion.”

  “Not me; your cat.”

  “Oh, he was all curled up against his boyfriend, so I left him with the neighbor until the morning.”

  Isaac pulled me into a kiss until we fell on the bed, me on top of him.

  “Wait, hold on,” I said.

  “You okay? You don’t want this anymore?”

  “No, I definitely do want. Your cat is gay?”

  “Yes, he’s in love with Tico, my cat sitter’s dog.”

  “Your cat sitter has a dog?”

  He pushed me off him and managed to turn us so I was on my back, and in two seconds, my cock was engulfed in the heat of his mouth.

  “Fuuck, Isaac!”

  “Still want to talk about how my gay cat is in love with the neighbor’s dog?”

  “Nope, I hate pets. Carry on.”

  He chuckled but obliged, tormenting my rock-hard dick with his licks and pulls.

  I leaned up on my elbows to see how he looked with his soft lips around me. Fucking gorgeous.

  When he saw me, he stopped. “What are you staring at?”

  I pulled him up to me. “You. What you do to me has no words I can use to describe.”

  He kissed me softly, biting my lower lip as he withdrew.

  “I need you, Max. If all we have are the next few days, then let it be about us. No misunderstandings, no barriers, obligations, or expectations. Just… us.”

  I’d be damned if I couldn’t give him just that.

  Isaac was grinding against me, trying to get some friction and relief, but I held his hips up and turned him so I could take his cock in my mouth. If he was seeking relief, I was going to need to taste him first.

  I hadn’t lied on the beach. Isaac really was the best thing I’d tasted in my life.

  “Oh yes, fuck, like that. Oh fuck, Max, stop, or I’m going to come.”

  “Come for me, baby. I want to taste you.” I crawled up to kiss him and loved how he sucked on my tongue to taste himself. “I promise the night won’t end until we’re done.”

  I crawled back down and made good on my promise. It was a shame I couldn’t keep the same promise for the rest of our lives, because if it was my choice, there was no way I’d ever be done with Isaac.

  25

  Isaac

  Knowing Max would have to go back to New York hadn’t made an ounce of difference when it came to falling in love. I wasn’t doing a particularly good job hiding it, either.

  It was especially easy to ignore his upcoming departure when he was lying naked in my bed, his body so close to mine we could be mistaken for one person.

  “Isaac,” he said in his sleep as he held me tighter. I thought he was about to wake up, but his breath evened out against my neck, his soft, sleepy purr teasing my ear.

  Over the last week, we’d spent every single minute together. Max had taken an interest in the Foundation, so while I was working, he’d been happy to talk to the young guys and girls that used it socially. He’d even done a few safe sex sessions.

  He had a great way with kids; he gave them the information they needed to be safe without sounding like a patronizing adult, and when they’d behaved like teens and defaulted to crude jokes, he’d joined right in.

  At some point, I’d leaned on the doorframe of the room they were in to listen in on the session, and they were laughing so hard I’d gone almost unnoticed.

  “I got one,” João had said. “Don’t make a mistake, cover your snake.”

  “Plug the funnel, and then enter the tunnel,” Diana had said.

  “No shirt, no flirt.”

  “Lame.” The kids had all shouted at Max’s attempt.

  “Isaac,” Rui had called, making everyone turn to the door where I’d been standing, “we’re making up condom slogans. Can you do better than Max?”

  “No glove, no love,” I’d said, sitting down next to Max.

  “Ugh, please tell us we won’t stop being funny as soon as we turn thirty,” João had said.

  Both Max and I had thrown cushions at him.

  In a few short days, Max had built relationships with the volunteers and had joined forces with Tiago against me.

  I hadn’t had a decent coffee at work all week because they’d hidden everything, including the sugar bowl. They knew I wouldn’t have coffee without sugar.

  I would have planned some kind of revenge, but between the shortage of caffeine and the lack of sleep because Max was keeping me up all night, I didn’t have the energy to plot.

  It was good to see Max and Tiago getting along, but it was also another reminder that he’d be missed once he was gone, and I wasn’t sure how I would handle that.

  The other place Max had left his mark was with my family. We’d had dinner with Alex, Joana, and Sofia again, except this time, they’d come to my apartment. Max had become a surrogate uncle to Sofia, teaching her the difference between him and Max, the cat.

  He was convinced that when she said Ma, she was really saying Max. I didn’t have the heart to tell him Ma was the only word she knew, and it meant Mom, Dad, I’m hungry, and the least favorite, I’ve done a smelly poop.

  Throughout dinner, Alex had kept looking at me in a way I couldn’t quite decipher. It was like he was happy, settled, like everything was right for him, but there was also an undercurrent of sadness.

  Even the cat hadn’t fussed over having to spend more time with the neighbor—since he got to cuddle up to her dog more often. I was wondering if at some point he was going to decide he no longer wanted to live with me.

  He’d stopped attacking Max every time he turned his back, but then again, he’d also taken to ignoring us a lot more. Well, not unless he wanted food. In that case, he was all over us like a rash, especially when he realized that Max was also a trained cat-food-pouch opener.

  In less than a week, Max and I had developed a kind of domesticity and closeness. After we’d cleared everything up, there had been no hiding from our feelings, even though we hadn’t voiced them out loud.

  Maybe it was because we knew this would be temporary, so any time thinking or talking about what was to come was just time we weren’t enjoying ourselves, time we weren’t buried in each other’s bodies, drinking in our combined essence.

  And fuck if the time we’d spent in bed hadn’t been earth-shaking, life-altering good. There was no doubt that I would never enjoy sex with another person in the same way as I had with Max. I didn’t even want to.

  Last night, he’d edged me to the point of insanity. I’d come so close to orgasm so many times, and each time he’d stopped just short of finishing me off. I’d thought I was going to self-combust the moment I finally came to the best, most toe-curling, skin-flaming orgasm of my life with Max deep inside me. While he’d been busy edging me, he’d done nothing to relieve his own hard cock, so when we’d followed my orgasm with his, I swear I’d heard him sob against my neck.

  Having this chance with Max made me so happy. We’d become closer, not just as lovers but also friends. Somehow, I knew that whatever happened in the future, we would always have a special bond, something unique that went beyond the physical connection.

  I was also heartbroken that life had given us this amazing gift, but had also put that enormous ocean between us.

  Traveling to New York again was a possibility, and Max would no doubt come to visit, but it wouldn’t be the same as having him all the time.

  And what would happen when he found someone else? How would I feel seeing him with another guy when I felt down to my core that he was my guy?

  “If you don�
�t stop thinking so loud, I’m going to do a repeat of last night.” The threat came accompanied by a very hard cock nudging against my naked ass.

  “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’ll stop thinking.” I turned around to face him and let out a small moan when our morning erections touched as he moved his body to accommodate mine.

  “We were in this exact same position ten months ago. It’s more painful now,” Max said as he moved his hand from brushing the curls from my face to resting on my neck.

  “But it also feels different, less final. I know we can’t be together, Max, but I’m not going to stop caring about you. I just hope we’ll have plenty of reasons to see each other in the future.”

  “I’m sure we will. Joel and David are three custard tarts away from getting married, anyway.”

  I gasped. “You think so? That would be great. I didn’t see much of them before they left for New York, but I know they are insanely happy.”

  “We were always destined to meet,” Max said as he weaved his fingers around my curls.

  “Do you think?”

  “If we hadn’t met in New York last Christmas, we would have met at the club that night.”

  He was right. I wondered how different things would have been. Would we have got together in the summer?

  “I guess with David and Joel being together, it was only a matter of time until you got your hands on this piece of ass,” I said.

  “What, this one?”

  He squeezed my butt and pulled me even closer.

  “I bet we’ll end up as best men at their wedding,” he added.

  “You know best men are meant to get it on at the wedding. It’s a rule, right?”

  Max laughed. “This is probably the most mature conversation we’ve ever had,” he said as his hand slid down toward my chest where he teased one of my nipples. “How about we bring the tone down a few notches?”

  “What do you have in mind?” I asked, grinding my hips against his and feeling his breath catch when our cocks rubbed deliciously against each other. There was already wetness against my belly where one of us—or possibly both—was leaking precum.