Finding You: The Complete Box Set (a contemporary MM romance series)

by Ana Ashley

  Vítor's dark blue eyes looked at me and he smiled. I smiled back.

  "Morning," he said in a low, sleepy voice I felt all the way down my spine.

  "Morning."

  He brought his hand to my face and caressed my cheek, using his thumb to trace my lips. I kissed his thumb, and his morning wood twitched against my stomach. I guessed he could feel mine, too, since neither of us were wearing any underwear. I still had my T-shirt on, but Vítor was fully naked.

  My hand rested on the soft salt-and-pepper hairs of his chest.

  I thought he was going to kiss me, but he kept his touch light, like he was memorizing every line of my face.

  "You have a beautiful smile," he said. "How do you feel?"

  "Lighter than I've felt. Maybe ever."

  I touched the dimple on his chin, feeling the rough hair underneath, and couldn't resist replacing my fingers with my lips. Vítor let out a breath and at the same time pressed harder against me. His eyes were closed, and I took that as a sign he was enjoying my touch and wanted more.

  "I've been wanting to lick this damn dimple since I saw you walk into that bar," I said before I did just that and moved my hips so our erections were sliding against each other for good measure.

  In three seconds flat, I found myself under his strong, heavy body and looking into his eyes; my absolute favorite place to be.

  "I like you under me."

  "I like me under you."

  He placed open-mouthed kisses below my ear, his rough scruff causing me to shiver as it touched the sensitive skin on his way down to my chest. I cried out when he licked and sucked on one of my nipples and then the other. I was desperately grinding against him, trying to find some friction, but he moved so he was no longer on top of me.

  "Vítor, please."

  "What do you want."

  "Your mouth on—"

  I didn't have a chance to finish before heat surrounded the head of my cock. I looked down to see it. Vítor had his eyes on me as he worked his way down to take more of me. My dick wasn't long by any means, but I could see he was struggling with my thickness, not that it looked like it was slowing him down in any way.

  Turning my eyes from his was the only way to keep from coming too soon, and when I noticed he was grinding against the bed sheets, I angled his hips toward me and took his cock in my mouth. He only stopped sucking me long enough to take a breath and let out a curse when he realized what I was doing.

  Vítor had been blessed in the anatomy department because not only was he long but was also fairly thick and had the same salt-and-pepper hair at the base of his cock as he had all over his body.

  Why it turned me on so much, I didn't know, but I didn't care, either. All I cared about was feeling this man unraveling under my touch. It would be a competition to see who could hold out the longest because I knew I was too close and his jerky movements as he tried to pump into my mouth told me he was, too.

  Using my hand to aid the movements of my mouth, I sped up and sucked him hard. When I brushed a finger from my free hand over his hole, it was game over. He put his hand on my head to keep me in place as he came hard inside my mouth, and fuck me if that wasn't all it took for me to let go, too.

  We both laughed as we came down from the high of our shared orgasms. Vítor changed position to face me again and planted a hard kiss on my mouth, no doubt tasting himself on me just like I could taste myself on his tongue.

  "I win," I said breathlessly.

  He looked down toward our softening cocks. "I think we both won."

  We lay in bed in silence after that. I noticed that, despite having a good night's sleep and the second-best orgasm of my life, it was still only just after eight in the morning, so I was in no rush to get up. Vítor's hand was stroking my back lazily and was dangerously close to sending me to sleep.

  "Do you have to go to work on Monday?" he asked.

  "No, we have a water leak, so the center is closed next week while the plumbers fix it."

  "Do you have to be there?"

  "No."

  "I need to go to Porto to deal with a couple of things. I'm back on Monday afternoon. I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."

  The question caught me by surprise. I sat up in bed, facing him, unsure of how to answer because I didn't know what any of what happened in the last twenty-four hours meant.

  "Hey." He sat up and put his hands on either side of my face. I couldn't resist leaning into his touch. "After what happened yesterday, I don't want to leave you on your own. Besides, the weather is meant to be good and there's a place I'd love to show you."

  "Okay."

  His eyes lit up and he kissed me in such a way that my body was getting ready for round two, until my tummy rumbled.

  "Right, we need a shower and breakfast. In that order."

  I laughed. "Are you saying I smell?"

  He tackled me so I fell on my back, pinned my arms above my head, and he buried his face in my armpits.

  "Hmm, you smell divine."

  I giggled when he planted soft kisses that revealed how ticklish I was under my arms and all down the sides.

  "Unless you're ready for round two, old man, I say we follow your suggestion," I said, pushing him away and running toward the bathroom. He was behind me not a second later, showing me that being older also meant he had a trick or two up his sleeve.

  On our way to Porto, we decided to stop for lunch in Aveiro. I'd never been to the aptly named Venice of Portugal, but it didn't disappoint. After lunch, we walked along the canals and admired the colorful boats and houses that gave Aveiro its nickname.

  Despite not being directly on the seafront, there was still a small breeze that kept us cool as we walked along the canal. I admired the colorful paintings on the sterns and bows of the gondola-style boats, which depicted scenes from old times.

  The seaweed trade had died a long time ago, so the boats were mainly used for tourists to enjoy riding along the canal, and for a moment, I wished we had enough time for a ride.

  "I want to help you look for him."

  I stopped at Vítor's words, not just because they were unexpected since we hadn't talked about anything personal all day, but also because of the underlying assumption.

  "Tiago, I haven't known you long, but I don't believe for a second that you haven't been looking for your brother since the day he ran away."

  Once I recovered from his words, I told him about my failed attempts and the struggle with keeping the authorities on my side, especially after they found out I worked at a LGBTQ center.

  "Until then, I'd been just one of many people looking for a loved one. Their lack of interest came from the slim chances of actually finding my brother. I made the mistake of asking a detective to meet me at work. We'd had this kid come in. He was in such a bad state, Isaac took him to hospital. I tried to rearrange my meeting with the detective, but he insisted it had to be that day, so I asked if he could stop by the center. After that, they were even less interested in helping me until Fred came along."

  "Fred?"

  "Frederico Mendes. I met him a few years ago. He actually came by the center to introduce himself. He didn't have a problem with me because he's gay himself. I don't know why, but he took a special interest in my brother's case, and he's been helping me since."

  Vítor's face dropped, and I had to think for a moment what the reason could be for the sudden mood drop.

  "We're just friends. He was really into Isaac before Max came along and hasn't had anyone since. Besides, he's not my type."

  He pulled me into a small walkway between two buildings and pushed my back against the wall, caging me in with his arms.

  "What is your type, Tiago?"

  "Tall, older men with eyes as deep as the ocean and who can go for two rounds of sex before breakfast."

  His laugh reached all the way inside my heart, and I pulled him closer so we were nose-to-nose, well, as much as we could be considering our height difference. He got the messa
ge and kissed me, a bone-melting kiss.

  After that, we spent the rest of the car journey talking about Afonso and all the good memories I had of our childhood.

  "This is us," he said as he approached a tall gate that opened as soon as we were close enough.

  Inside the gate, there were trees on either side of the short driveway up to the house.

  "It's weird, isn't it? The house is kind of back to front. The best parts are inside and the back. Dri designed it, and he always thought it was a waste to have the front of a house looking so grand and beautiful if no one ever enjoyed it."

  "I am inclined to agree with him, but I'll reserve my judgment once I see the rest," I teased.

  I grabbed my overnight bag and followed Vítor to the front door. He paused before he put the key in the lock and looked at me. There was uncertainty in his eyes. He looked so fragile in that split moment that I didn't want to make things any worse, so I spoke without touching him, even though I wanted nothing more than to offer some comfort or reassurance. Whatever he needed.

  "Hey, I know we haven't talked about it, but I get it. If nothing else, we are at least friends, right? I'm not expecting anything, okay?"

  He nodded and smiled. He'd given me more in the last twenty-four hours than I'd ever gotten from anyone else in my entire life. I felt such a connection with him that I wanted to crawl into his arms and live there forever. The reality was that even if the feeling was mutual, Vítor was clearly still grieving the loss of his husband, and I would never put myself in a position where I may end up hurting him.

  Let's face it, how many other guys had been hurt because they tried to give me something and I couldn't give anything back? Maybe coming to Porto with Vítor was the reminder I needed to be careful with both our hearts.

  If Vítor had frozen at the thought of bringing me to the home he'd shared with the love of his life, I froze as soon as I walked in behind him for a totally different reason. Because in the hallway hung a pencil drawing that was the carbon copy of the photo David had given me of his aunt and uncle, his mom, and Vítor.

  13

  Vítor

  As soon as I opened the door, I excused myself to the bathroom, making a joke about old men's bladders and a long car journey. It hadn't been that long a drive from Aveiro, but I hoped Tiago wouldn't call me on my white lie.

  There were too many thoughts and feelings warring for attention, and I needed to make sense of it, with the biggest one being the feeling that I was betraying Dri somehow by bringing Tiago here.

  I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror.

  Nothing had changed in the last few weeks since I left for Lisbon.

  I looked closer, my nose nearly touching the cold surface. There was a small difference, and it was one I couldn't see but could definitely feel. It was the splinter of a future that wasn't just made of dinners for one, of attending conferences on my own—or even worse, avoiding them altogether. A future that still held some excitement because it was unknown but full of possibilities.

  I'd never considered I'd have any kind of relationship after Dri was gone. When he was in hospital after his surgery, he'd asked me to not forget to live after he was gone. I'd laughed it off because at the time, I'd still had hope that the surgery and the following course of chemo would kill the cancer. It didn't, and I'd wondered if he'd known even then that his life wasn't going to be as long as we'd hoped.

  It was one of my many conversations with Sebastião, the closest thing I had to a father figure, that once again put things in perspective for me. "You don't need to figure things out straight away, Vítor. Life is rarely long enough for that, so you may as well buckle up and pull the window down. Enjoy the wind on your face."

  I looked for Tiago when I came out of the bathroom and was surprised to see he was still by the front door. His eyes were on the pencil portrait I'd done years ago.

  "This is beautiful, it looks so real, who are they?" he asked.

  Even though the portrait had been hanging on the wall for years, I'd got used to walking past it without paying any notice. "Er, it's me, my best friend, my brother, and his wife."

  The portrait was the only thing I had from my old life, and even that had only been drawn once I'd escaped.

  "You made this?"

  "Yeah."

  "How old were you in the picture?"

  "Twenty. Shall I give you a tour of the house? We can stop by the guest bedroom so you can drop your bag."

  He looked disappointed, but I didn't want to answer any questions about the portrait or the people in it.

  After I showed Tiago where the guest room was, I took him around the house, finishing in the kitchen where my cleaner had left a homemade cake knowing I'd be back this weekend.

  "I can see it now," Tiago said as we sat on the swing in the garden, facing the house. "You can appreciate the design of the house from here, but you'd never sit at the front and do the same. I also love the way you have the glass doors going across the whole house."

  I nodded. All the living areas had been designed to be part of the garden so when the glass doors were open, it was hard to see where the building ended and the garden started, making that part of the house open plan. It also meant we could go from the kitchen right through to the living room and my office.

  "Do you mind if I disappear into my office to deal with a few things? Feel free to explore or take a dip in the pool. You can see me from here." I pointed to the far side of the building where we could see my desk through the glass.

  "You have a swimming pool?" His mouth was wide open as he stared at me. "Man, you married well."

  I smiled and kissed his head before I got up from the swing, leaving him with his coffee and a giant slice of cake.

  The pile of unopened letters sat in front of me for a whole ten minutes before I was able to divert my attention from the young man sitting on the swing with one leg under him and using the other to keep the swing in motion. His coffee was on the little table at the side and he was paying full attention to the cake on his plate.

  Tiago looked a lot more relaxed now, and despite my doubts, I was glad I was able to give him some time to just be himself. He put the empty plate away and sipped his coffee, leaning back on the seat and enjoying the mild weather.

  Tomorrow was going to be another nice day, so I knew exactly what we were going to do. Now I just needed to stop staring at him and deal with these bills.

  I looked at the clock on the bedside table. It hadn't moved much since I last checked it just after midnight.

  Once I'd dealt with the bills and outstanding correspondence earlier, I'd asked Tiago if he wanted to go for a swim. He'd been like a kid in a candy store. When I'd left him, I'd thought he'd get curious and look for the swimming pool and the secret garden beyond, but he'd stayed where he was until I'd joined him again.

  After the swim, we'd ordered takeout for dinner and watched a movie. He'd been leaning against me throughout the movie, so I'd not even noticed he'd fallen asleep. Like a few nights ago, I'd lifted him off the sofa and taken him to the guest bedroom. The difference was this time, he called my name instead of his brother's.

  It had taken willpower I didn't know I had to stop myself from slipping under the covers and wrapping myself around him. Once he'd settled in, I'd left him and gone to my own bedroom, the one I'd shared with Dri and where we'd made love, laughed, and cried more times than I could count.

  Feeling frustrated with myself, I decided to get up and do some work if I wasn't going to sleep. On my way to the office, I noticed the guest bedroom door was open and Tiago wasn't in bed.

  I found him curled up on the living room sofa facing the garden. The lights were off but the moon was shining a bright light on his lonely figure.

  "Hey," I called in a whisper so I wouldn't spook him as I sat down next to him.

  "Hey."

  I pulled him into my arms and was glad when he settled with his back against my chest and put his hands
over mine.

  "What are you doing here in the dark?"

  "Just thinking. Couldn't sleep."

  "Thinking about what?"

  "You. Me." He took a deep sigh.

  "I know. I'm sorry I was a bit off after we got here."

  He tightened his grip on my hand. "No, don't apologize. I can see you're still grieving, and that's okay. You don't stop loving someone just because they're gone. Besides, I wasn't expecting anything more, and you've given me so much already."

  "You're right, I still love Dri and always will. I don't know how to navigate this, Tiago. What I feel for you is unexpected." I sighed. "You know why I'm here?"

  "No."

  "I couldn't sleep, and you know why? Because I couldn't stop thinking about you, and even though part of me felt guilty for it, there's a bigger part of me that craves having you in my arms. I don't know how to stop it."

  He turned around to face me.

  "Then don't."

  His kiss was light, barely a touch of our lips, but its result was devastating because I realized then I was on a fast track to falling in love for the second time in my life, and like the first time, I wasn't sure I could do anything to stop it… or wanted to.

  Tiago turned again and settled against my chest, pulling my arms around him. I kissed his temple, and he let out a contented sigh.

  "Do you want to go to bed?" I asked.

  He shook his head. I sensed some hesitation from him.

  "Vítor, will you tell me about the picture by the door?"

  "Why?"

  "Because it's important to you."

  I took a deep breath and considered if I wanted to open that wound. I didn't want my relationship with Tiago to be about all the hurt we'd had in the past. At the same time, he'd been so open with me, so I felt I owed him my story, especially since we'd actually met in the place that had sealed my future.

  "Mário is older than me only by a few years, so we were always very close. My father wasn't a nice man, and Mário made it his life mission to protect me from our father's fists. We met Teresa and Paula at school shortly after we moved to Caparica. It was love at first sight for Mário and Teresa, and in a way, for Paula and I, too.