Finding You: The Complete Box Set (a contemporary MM romance series)

by Ana Ashley

  Afonso looked as tired as I felt after dinner. Tomorrow I'd have to get back to the center, but we'd have time to catch up properly. I didn't miss that Afonso didn't have anything on him other than his clothes.

  "You can stay in the spare room. Feel free to use the shower and look in the drawers to see if any of my clothes fit you. We'll go shopping tomorrow, okay?"

  He nodded, then looked at Fred and then back at me.

  "Where is Fred staying?" His voice was small and unsure.

  I hadn't missed how Afonso had seemed to drift toward Fred all evening, or that Fred always made sure he was there for him. Considering the relationship they'd built over the last few months, I wasn't surprised by the connection.

  "Fred, do you want to stay over?" I asked.

  "Oh, er yes, that would be nice, thanks. I'm too beat to drive. I'll sleep on the sofa. Do you have a spare blanket?"

  Once we had the sleeping arrangements sorted and had let Fred use our shower, I hugged my little brother goodnight and reassured him we were just a room away if he needed anything. He'd been quite shy around Vítor, but he didn't look afraid of him, so I took it that he was just overwhelmed with being around new people.

  When we got under the covers, I reached out for Vítor and wrapped myself around him. He chuckled and accepted his place as my big man pillow.

  "Today was a big day. I'm so proud of you," he said, kissing the top of my head.

  "Thank you for being there. I know how busy you are at work, but it meant everything having you with me today."

  "Anytime, baby," was the last thing I heard as I drifted into the most peaceful sleep I'd ever had.

  The next morning, I was awake earlier than normal. It was clear that I was too fidgety in bed because Vítor put his arms around me and pulled me closer.

  "Let him rest, baby. You can both talk after Fred and I go."

  I huffed but let myself settle against his chest.

  The next time I woke up, I was alone in bed. I got up and hurried to get dressed.

  My chest expanded when I saw my brother, Vítor, and Fred around the kitchen table with coffees in front of them. It didn't feel real that my brother was really here.

  "Morning," I said.

  When they saw me, both Vítor and Fred got up.

  "We're going to leave you two to talk," Vítor said. "Call me if you need me to come back, okay? Otherwise, I'll see you tonight." He placed a kiss on my lips and left with Fred on his heels.

  Afonso looked around and gripped the cup in front of him so hard his fingers were white. I struggled to find the right words to start, so I went to the coffee machine and filled a cup for myself.

  "Do you want some toast?" I asked.

  "No, thank you."

  His voice was small. Whatever had happened to him since he'd disappeared, we could deal with. The first step would be to gain his trust. I put my hands over his on top of the table and squeezed them hard.

  "Afonso, we have a lot to catch up on, but first, I need you to know that finding you wasn't an accident. I've been looking for you ever since you disappeared."

  His eyes went wide.

  "Really?"

  "Of course, you're my little brother. I'd move heaven and earth to find you a million times over."

  A small tear escaped down his face.

  The backs of my eyes stung. I knew it would be hard to keep it together while we had this conversation, but I had to try. I went over to him and gave him a hug, feeling his body sag slightly against mine.

  "Let's take this to the living room," I said.

  Afonso followed, and I was relieved that he sat right next to me.

  "Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked.

  He shook his head. "I'm not the same person I was then. A lot of things happened."

  I ran my hands through his short hair, and he looked into my eyes.

  "I'm not the same person either, Afonso. I promise we can work through this together, and you'll never need to run again, okay?"

  He nodded. His eyes were still shiny, but he wasn't crying any more. I steeled myself for what came next. Confessing what our father had done to me.

  When I finished, Afonso was gripping my hands so hard, I could tell he was struggling to keep it together.

  "Afonso, he did the same to you, didn't he?"

  He looked down and more tears ran down his face.

  "Yes. I wanted to tell you, but you were always working and then you went away to school and never came back. After you left, it was worse. He started calling me by your name whenever Mom wasn't around. I knew then he'd done the same to you."

  "It started when I was still at home?"

  My throat went dry, and I wished our father was still alive so I could kill him myself.

  I could tell Afonso was struggling with the memories, and I wanted to give him some reprieve, but I remembered how I'd felt after I'd told Vítor and decided to let Afonso make the choice to continue.

  "You were so brave. You got a job and studied. You were able to escape. I wanted to be like you, but I was too young to get a job. One day, Mom saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. I told her that dad sometimes touched me. She didn't believe me, so I couldn't tell her he did more than that.

  "On my thirteenth birthday, I asked if I could come to see you on the bus. Mom didn't want to let me, but I promised I'd be careful. I packed a bag with a few things. When I got there, I saw you were so happy. You were free."

  "I didn't know you came."

  "After I saw you, I thought you'd be happier without the burden of caring for me. I went home and ran away a month later."

  Our coffees were forgotten as we hugged each other and cried until there were no more tears left from our shared past.

  "Afonso, do you want to tell me what happened after you ran?"

  "Can we do that later? I'm tired now."

  I ran my hands down his head and back. I'd hold him for as long as he needed, and I'd do it for the rest of our lives because I was determined to do everything in my power to take his pain away. My little brother was back. The rest was white noise.

  "Sleep, Flea. I've got you."

  21

  Vítor

  "Nhh, more, fuck, please, Vítor."

  I loved nothing more than to unravel the amazing man under me, especially when all it took was a cleverly placed finger.

  "What do you want, baby?"

  "You, Vítor, I want you inside me." His eyes burned with need, and his words were begging to the point of demanding. His hands roamed gently over my body to whichever part he could reach when I was like this, pinning his body to the bed with my own.

  He was sufficiently stretched for me, so I wiped my hands clean on my discarded shirt and guided my already-lubed cock toward his hole, knowing we were both on the brink.

  So much had changed in the month since we'd got Afonso back, I sometimes had to pinch myself just to check this was really my life.

  Things had been hard for Tiago and his brother at first. After the initial relief of finding his brother, he kept panicking that he'd disappear again, and no amount of reassuring him that Afonso didn't have a reason to run would work.

  Once the two brothers had had time to catch up and talk properly, Tiago's worry that Afonso would run was replaced with guilt for what he went through in the last eight years.

  I could tell Afonso wasn't faring any better in that respect, so I'd suggested they see a counselor separately to deal with their trauma.

  Tiago had resisted initially, but he'd known both he and his brother needed help so they could move forward and rebuild their relationship.

  Afonso had been more or less a prisoner for the last eight years, even though he truly believed it had been his choice to stay in the mansion and work for the man we now knew was responsible for thousands of illegal images containing minors. In reality, he'd been a vulnerable teenager who'd escaped one abuser to go straight into the hands of another, more perverse one.

  It ha
d been a shock when we went out after he came back home and he'd had a panic attack. As much as we could be there for him, a therapist was better placed to help him deal with what happened to him.

  They'd had a few sessions separately and then their counselor had suggested they have a joint session.

  I'd driven them and had waited outside because I'd known it was going to be a tough one, but even I'd underestimated how much it would have taken out of the brothers. I'd felt powerless to do anything to alleviate Tiago's heartache. I'd hoped it would get better, but in the meantime, all I could do was give him whatever he'd needed, when he'd needed it, whether it was what he'd asked for or not.

  And that's what I was doing now.

  "Jesus, baby, you feel so good. So tight," I said through gritted teeth.

  "More, faster."

  Fuck if I didn't want to pound his ass from here to Porto, but I was holding on by a thread and the tight warmth of his channel was too good.

  My lack of response must have tested his patience because he pushed me away so hard I landed on my back with my head to the foot of the bed. Before I could react, he straddled me and impaled himself on my cock.

  We both groaned. I felt that I was buried so deep inside him I'd need a map to find my way out. Not that I ever wanted to stop this feeling or be more than an inch apart from Tiago.

  He leaned down to kiss me, increasing the speed of his thrusts, which I was powerless to slow down because what he was doing felt so good, I couldn't muster the words or the actions to do anything about it. When he massaged my balls and ran a finger down toward my hole, I came so hard the movement of my hips raised him up. That was enough to start off his orgasm. Rope after rope of cum spilled from his cock, landing on my chest. Tiago was a work of art when he came. It was probably one of the few times he really let go and showed me exactly who he was.

  Before he could come down from his high, and while I was still inside him, I pulled him down for a kiss and asked him the question I'd been meaning to ask for a few weeks now.

  "Move in with me."

  He chuckled. "I already live with you."

  "I mean permanently. Don't go back to your apartment."

  His landlord had recently been in touch to say that the work to the building would be complete on time and they were only doing a few final maintenance repairs. Tiago would be able to move back within two weeks, which wasn't something I was looking forward to.

  "How about Afonso?"

  "How about him?"

  "I can't ask him to move out."

  "I'm not asking you to do that. Afonso is a great young man, and I enjoy having him around."

  I saw the relief on his face as he lay down next to me. I jumped off the bed to clean myself and grabbed a washcloth to clean him up before I cuddled up to him again.

  "Although… we may need to look for a bigger apartment, baby," I said.

  "Why? I thought you liked Isaac's apartment," he said with a yawn.

  "I love it, but the rooms are too close together, and you're fucking loud during sex."

  He chuckled and shrugged.

  "Okay," was all he said before he fell asleep.

  I smiled and put my lips on his forehead, letting them rest there. Whichever decision he was okay with, moving in, getting a bigger place, or both, I was going to make it happen. Anything for the man that had revived my heart when I'd believed it had been buried alongside my husband three years ago.

  I was grateful for the air conditioning in the car because the early summer temperatures were already too high, and the last thing I wanted was to get to the center and smell like I needed a shower. Tiago had been working on the fundraiser for the center for the last few weeks, and today it was all hands on deck for the final touches before the big event tomorrow.

  The kids had created art to sell in addition to photographs of the new wall painting they were going to unveil tomorrow. David had worked with the baking group and Bruno to offer catering, and some of the other volunteers were doing crafts to sell, such as bracelets, greetings cards, and other things.

  My job was to help out where needed and make sure Tiago didn't work himself up into a state of nerves. Even Afonso, who'd started spending a lot of time at the center, was coming along.

  "Don't move," I said as I took out my phone from my pocket to snap a photo.

  Tiago's head came out from under the table. He smiled and arched his back.

  "You have a great ass, baby."

  He chuckled and pulled his T-shirt up, giving me a tease of the jockstrap he was wearing.

  "Yours isn't too bad, either," he said as he got up and greeted me with a hot kiss. I had to stop his hands from roaming south of my back because I didn't want to spend the rest of the afternoon with a hard-on, especially now that I knew what he was wearing under his jeans.

  "Where do you want me?" I asked.

  He quirked a brow, and I could tell what he was thinking but got a straight answer instead.

  "See those tables in the corner? They're for the crafts. I need them set up in rows over there." He pointed to where I was going to work and then asked, "Do you want a coffee? David's at the back."

  "Sure, I'll come with you. Haven't seen him for a few weeks."

  The kitchen was a hub of activity, and I found myself snapping a few photos of everyone dressed in their chef whites before we were spotted. David was coordinating everyone and supervising the making of what looked like hundreds of really fancy mini desserts.

  "Why can't I work in the kitchen?" I pouted. "This is where all the good stuff is."

  "You're more than welcome to, babe, but David will work you into the ground. Why do you think I'm at the front doing the dirty jobs?" He snorted.

  I offered to supply everyone with coffee and started to fill up the water container when I saw Filipe running excitedly toward David who caught him and lifted him up in the air.

  "Hey, whatcha doing here? Have you come to help?" David asked.

  Filipe rolled his eyes. "No, silly. I'm too small to reach the table, but I can be the boss and tell everyone what to do."

  I laughed and high-fived Filipe.

  Bruno came in holding a large, clear box with baking supplies, and I stepped in to help him as he was balancing a few smaller boxes on top of the large one.

  "Thanks. Mário and Teresa are just behind me with the rest."

  The familiar names didn't reach my brain in time to process the information, but I didn't need to, because only a moment later, I saw the two people I never thought I'd see again in my life. My brother Mário and my sister-in-law, Teresa.

  I froze, my memories going back to the last time I saw them. It was the dinner on my twenty-first birthday before I went out to the club. We'd been joking about baby names and that if their baby was a boy, he should be named after me.

  Everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion. They dropped their boxes on one of the worktops and went over to David. David's eyes nearly shot out of his face when he saw them.

  "Uncle, Aunt, what are you doing here?"

  Uncle? Aunt?

  I felt a hand squeeze mine, but I didn't need to look to know it was Tiago's.

  "We've come to help, of course," Teresa said.

  My lungs felt like they were being squeezed in a vice, and suddenly, it was too hot in the kitchen. Fortunately, the garden door was behind me. I made a move to escape, but I was too slow because before I could turn, I heard two simultaneous gasps as both my brother and Teresa's eyes were on me.

  "Oh my god, Vítor, is that you?" Teresa cried, her hands clasped together.

  I couldn't react, couldn't think. I needed to breathe, but it was too hot. I turned to the garden, stopping only when I reached the far wall, damning it for not having an exit to the street. I took deep breaths and leaned on the wall, the cool stone against my forehead.

  "Vítor." Tiago's voice was a balm. I turned around and hugged him like my life depended on it. My throat was too tight to speak. What was my brothe
r doing here? Why would he be in an LGBTQ center?

  "Vítor, please don't run again," my brother said, coming out of the kitchen and closer to where we were stood.

  His words hit a spot in my mind that I hadn't revisited in years. Being in the hospital bed, wondering if my father would carry out his threats as soon as the nurse turned her back. His lies about the causes of my injuries, and his cold stare daring me to report him. And the absolute worst, when he was gone, waiting for my big brother to come for me.

  I'd waited four days in which I'd been too unwell to move. Four days I'd spent gathering the courage to tell my brother everything, that I was gay, that my dad had done this to me, and that I was still the same little brother he'd protected all our lives. I'd gathered courage to apologize for keeping something so big from him. But there had been nothing. No visits, no phone calls to the hospital.

  The nurse who didn't know who I was, who'd had no interest in my wellbeing other than me making it out of the hospital healthier than I went in, she was the one who'd cared. She'd given me some clothes that belonged to her son and had asked me if I needed money to go to a safe place. That was the one thing I hadn't needed.

  As soon as I'd been able to walk out of hospital unaided, I'd walked away from my old life and into my new one. On my own.

  "What are you doing here?" I couldn't hide my anger. "Why did David call you Uncle and Aunt?"

  "Vítor, David is Paula's son," Mário said.

  I looked at David who was just behind Mário looking at me with regret.

  "You knew who I was that day we met, didn't you?" I asked.

  He nodded.

  "Why did you lie?"

  He didn't reply or look me in the eye. Behind him, I noticed the kitchen had cleared, and I saw my escape.

  I grabbed Tiago's hand and pulled him toward the door.

  "Vítor, please listen to them."

  I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at Tiago. I no longer saw the man I'd fallen for. All I saw was the lies, and I was fucking tired of lies. I dropped his hand and left, not caring about the calls from the people behind me or the gut-wrenching sob I heard coming out of Tiago.