Home to Cedarwood

by Megan Slayer

  He’d decided to come home and take care of his mom’s estate after she’d passed away. He lived in a ranch house on the main road into town and was lonely as hell. What good was inheriting a house if he had no one to share it with?

  Jordan resumed working on the ticket. The piece of paper then slid out of the printer. He gathered the ticket, the license and the registration paperwork. Time to play the role of the prick. No one liked getting tickets. Most of the people he dealt with hated his guts. He wasn’t a bad guy, just one of the people responsible for keeping the town safe.

  Jordan strolled up to the car. “Here you go. You’ll need to appear in court on the seventeenth. Because this occurred in a school zone, a court appearance is mandatory.” He tipped his head to better look at the driver. “Understood?”

  “Yes, sir. I understand.”

  Jordan noticed the kid in the backseat. The guy was telling the truth about taking a child to school. “Next time make sure you’re abiding by the speed limit.” He turned his attention back to the driver. “Are you the Colin Baker who graduated in the class of ’03? The genius kid who hardly talked to anyone? We played baseball together. Three years on the varsity squad.”

  “That would be me.” Colin forced a smile. “Nice to see you again, Jordan.”

  “Officer Hargrove,” Jordan corrected. While on the job, he insisted on being referred to as Officer.

  “Officer,” Colin repeated. He gripped the steering wheel. “No rudeness intended, but I need to get my son to school. Am I free to go?”

  “Remember what I said about slowing down. You’re free to go.” He backed away from the car and headed to his cruiser.

  Guilt swept over him. Now he remembered why Colin looked so familiar and the reason had nothing to do with when Colin graduated. Back in school, a rumor had gone around claiming Colin had a crush on him. Twenty years ago, he’d been a major prick and wasn’t worthy of any kind of love from a guy like Colin. He slid behind the wheel of his car and sighed. He almost wished he could take the ticket back. Then again, he wished he could take a lot of things back.

  He drank in the image of Colin from his driver’s license on the computer screen in his cruiser. Colin Baker had grown up in so many ways…and he had a son. The cool blue eyes were still swoon-worthy and he’d filled out with a little more muscle. Jordan shivered in his seat and imagined rubbing against Colin. God. What a freaking horndog… The mental image of Colin in nothing but a towel came to mind. Just like in the locker room, but not the teenage version of Colin. He pictured the grown man and liked what he saw.

  Jordan checked the traffic on the sleepy road and pulled onto the pavement. He drove past the school and noticed Colin’s SUV in the parking lot. How could he miss the vehicle? No other SUVs puttered around town with a bright red tire cover reading If you can read this, turn me over in upside-down lettering.

  Although he didn’t want to piss off Colin, he wanted to find out what would happen if he did end up wrong side down with Colin. Probably a hot as hell time. He shook his head. He didn’t regret giving Colin the ticket, but he did regret being a jerk.

  Jordan drove back to the station and parked the cruiser. The ticket and the encounter with Colin remained fresh in his mind. He had to make things up to Colin. But how? He couldn’t exactly ask for leniency from the judge. Colin had been speeding in a freaking school zone.

  But he could try to talk things out with Colin—once he figured out where to find Colin. Jordan strode into the station. He’d use his personal phone to find directions to Colin’s house. He plopped behind his desk and picked up his smartphone. He tapped the internet icon and typed Colin’s name into the search engine. He knew damn well Colin wasn’t living in Englewood any longer. If his son attended a Cedarwood school, he had to live in the district.

  The search results came back with an address and two links. Jordan tapped the first link. The BCVM Bookstore. He’d been there plenty of times. That was where he bought his comic books. How had he missed Colin there? He flipped through the pages on the link. A photo of Colin and his brother decorated the About page. Colin owned the bookstore? Holy crap in a basket.

  “What are you looking at?” Delaney asked. The officer leaned his hands on Jordan’s desk. “Saw you wrote a ticket today. Must’ve been a slow day.”

  “Shut up.” Jordan closed the search window. He’d have to investigate Colin when he got home. “He wasn’t going slow. Almost twenty over the limit.”

  “I saw.” Delaney tipped his head to the side. “I’ll bite. It’s been six months since you and Cassidee broke up. I’m not looking to score with her, but…would you mind?”

  Jordan frowned. He hadn’t come out yet to the rest of the force, but his friends knew the score. He and Cassi had been friends and she’d served as his beard. Nothing more. But she’d been the only one he could trust with his secret. Did he want to tell Delaney the truth? Not yet.

  “She’s on the market. If you want to ask her out, then do it.” Jordan slid his smartphone into his pocket. “I’m off in ten minutes and good thing. I need a break. It was a long night.”

  “Uh-huh.” Delaney finger combed his hair before he replaced his hat. “Well, happy hunting and sleeping or whatever it is you’re going to do. I’ve got some paperwork to finish up before I’m off for a while. See you.” He strolled out of the room and out of sight.

  Jordan sighed and scrubbed his hand across his mouth. A bulletin flashed across his work tablet. Another spray paint attack. He groaned. Why did people think spray paint was the best way to express hate? He pitied the person who had to clean the crap off whatever surface had been defaced. He swiped his finger across the bulletin.

  The words gay and fag had been emblazoned on a garage door and the front of a home. God. He bit back another groan. Why? Why fuck up a perfectly good house with graffiti? Who gave a shit if the person was gay? What would the community say if they found out he was gay?

  Screw it. He cared, but at the same time, he didn’t. People were free to think as they pleased and he was free to fuck whomever he chose. Right now, he wanted to choose Colin. Or at least explain why he’d been a dick in the past.

  Jordan clocked out and left the cruiser keys on the board. With only five police vehicles for the force, he wasn’t permitted to bring the car home. He didn’t mind. He liked driving his truck so much more. He pressed the fob and opened the driver’s-side door. When he slid behind the seat, he breathed in the scent of the polish he’d used on the seats. The comfort of the vehicle wrapped around him and centered him. As much as he loved being a cop, he needed the balance of downtime.

  He checked his watch. Ten a.m. The BCVM should be open. Time to take a drive and pick up some new comics.

  Jordan headed across town to the strip of shops along the main drag. He parked in front of the library and left the truck. Once he’d locked the vehicle, he strolled down the road a block to the bookstore. His heart hammered and his palms itched. He’d just talked to Colin, but that had been to give him a ticket. What was he supposed to say this time? Hi, I’d like my Conrad comics, oh and I’m sorry I was a shit in high school. I was going through an issue with my meds and my parents were divorcing. I wanted to be with you the whole time we played baseball together but was too scared. I’m still unsure about coming out, but I want to try to be friends with you. Want to head out back for a quickie? Not likely.

  He hesitated a moment before he yanked the door open. The little bell dinged and the sound of instrumental music played. He couldn’t place the music, but the soft tones soothed. He shoved one hand in his pocket, then strode into the bookstore.

  Farin Baker grinned from behind the register-slash-help desk. “We’ve got the new Conrads in, Jordy. Thought maybe you’d be in.”

  “Thanks.” Jordan bit back a wince. No one, save for the people he’d gone to school with, called him by his nickname. Only Farin would have the balls to refer to him as Jordy. He made his way to the register. “I’ve got time off, so this
is great.”

  Jordan slid the comic book across the counter. “Were you still interested in the vintage Conrad I got in? I’ve got a buyer online, if you’re bowing out.”

  Jordan stared at him. The vintage one? Hell, he’d forgotten he’d placed the order. “Yeah, I’m good for it. Add me up.”

  “Sure. I see you found Colin.” Farin pressed the buttons on the antique register. “I bet he deserved the ticket, but it had to be you? Harsh. That’ll be fifty-two twenty-seven. Cash or charge?”

  “Cash.” Jordan counted out the bills and slid them across the counter. “Is—is Colin here?”

  “What? Want to rub it in?” Farin’s blue eyes blazed. The muscle in his jaw twitched. “Dude, look. You have no idea.”

  “Then give me a fucking clue,” Jordan bit out. He leaned into the counter and glared at Farin. He’d never realized how handsome Farin was until he had to look the man in the eye. The trouble was, he wasn’t interested in Farin. He wanted to talk to Colin.

  “You really want to do this?” Farin drummed his fingers on the glass countertop. “He’s been through enough. Okay? First he had Nicolas leave him on his freaking birthday. Then he’s stuck here in Cedarwood, the antigay capital of Ohio, and now you’re pestering him. Gonna dick him over and tease him like you did in school? Or have you finally grown up?”

  Farin was right about the town. He’d seen the evidence of the hate that morning on the bulletin. “I’m not pestering him. I wanted to apologize.”

  “For what?” Colin stood at the end of the counter. Standing at his full height of at least six feet, he folded his arms. The muscles bulged under his dress shirt and the thick silver-tone watch glittered on his wrist. Jordan had always been a sucker for tall men and ones with muscle, but he never would’ve guessed Colin would turn out to be such a heartbreaker. God, he should’ve made a move back in school.

  Jordan stood his ground and gripped the comic books. A grown man shouldn’t be reading comics, but what the hell. He screwed up his courage. He could stare down a man with a gun without blinking and walk into a burning building for a rescue without a second thought, but talking to Colin required a pause and a whole lot of guts.

  “I’m sorry about the ticket. I had you on the radar gun. Can’t fail to turn that in,” Jordan said. “I’d be written up.”

  “I’m sure you would’ve been. I took responsibility.” Colin’s blue eyes hardened. “If you’ve got other business here at the store, I’m sure Farin will assist you.”

  “I wanted to talk to you.” Jordan left the change on the counter but grabbed his bag and strode up to Colin. “We need to talk.”

  “We do?” Colin snorted. “He thinks we’ve got something to discuss, Farin. Imagine that.” He shook his head. “I’ve got nothing to say to you, but thank you for your business. Good morning, Officer.”

  “It’s almost afternoon,” Jordan said. Ten in the morning wasn’t quite afternoon, but whatever. “Look, if you’ll just give me a few minutes.”

  “No.” Colin’s deep voice dropped an octave. “I’ve got paperwork coming out of my ass and figures that need sorting out. I’m busy.” He turned on his heel and disappeared around the corner.

  Jordan gritted his teeth. He’d expected the animosity. Hell, he’d been an ass to Colin in school and teased him about being gay because he really wanted to be with him. But that had been almost fifteen years ago. They were both different people. He’d certainly grown up and understood the error of his ways. But he still wanted to get with Colin Baker.

  “I told you. He’s had enough.” Farin slapped Jordan’s change into his hand. “Leave him alone. I don’t know what all you think you’re going to do, but just leave him alone.”

  “Understood.” Jordan stuffed the money into his pocket. He wandered toward the door but changed course when he noticed Farin with another customer. He’d apologize to Colin if his life depended on it. Colin needed to know the truth and he needed to know it now.

  Chapter Three

  Colin sank onto his chair and blew out a long breath. He’d had his share of crappy days. Some worse than others, but none compared to today. Well, no. One had been worse. The day Nicolas informed him he was going to Europe to find himself and just happened to be taking Duane with him. Oh, and they were getting married. The trip to Europe was really their honeymoon. They’d been lying to him for almost a year and he’d been too blind to notice.

  But today was right up there on the shit scale. A ticket at the hand of Jordan Hargrove, then the asshat wanted to talk about it. Jesus. Why does he still have to look hot fifteen years later?

  “I hoped you’d be in here.” Jordan knocked on the office door. “Farin doesn’t know I doubled back here.”

  “I gathered that.” Colin balled his fist on his lap. “Well, you’re here in my office. You mentioned wanting to talk. Go for it.” Why bother to argue? If Jordan wanted something, he always got it—a date, a girl, the full-ride baseball scholarship to college.

  He’d been in a simple kind of puppy love with Jordan in school. The guy had been gorgeous, and they’d spent time together on the baseball team. Plenty of chances to see Jordan just about naked. Now, seeing Jordan years later, the old feelings hadn’t died. He wanted those feeling to die—God knew he wanted to hate the man. But he didn’t.

  He couldn’t fault Jordan for doing his job. Colin had been speeding. He also couldn’t hold Jordan’s looks against him, either. Whereas some people hit their prime in school, he’d been able to sustain himself. Probably daily visits to the gym and good genetics. He’d kept his black hair cut short, but the buzz cut accentuated the angular bone structure in his face.

  “May I come in?” Jordan stood in the doorway. “I’m imposing, I know, but I do have manners.”

  “That’s a switch.” Colin gestured to the chair. “Have at it.”

  Jordan smiled and the bit of five-o’clock shadow on his cheeks showed. He inched into the office, then sat across from Colin. “I bet you never thought our paths would cross.”

  “I’d be lying if I said I wanted to see you again.” Colin folded his arms. He’d also be fibbing if he said he didn’t want to see Jordan. He remembered the last exchange they’d shared at the graduation ceremony. He’d screwed up the courage to tell Jordan how he felt and Jordan had laughed in his face before walking away. Not a great way to part.

  “I understand. I was a douche back then. If you ask the people in town, I’m sure they’d tell you I’m still a dick. I’m a cop. A lot of people don’t like police.” Jordan tapped the bag on his lap. “I want to apologize. Ticket writing isn’t my favorite part of my job, but—”

  “I was speeding,” Colin said, finishing Jordan’s sentence. “I got it.”

  “Sorry.” Jordan blushed. “I should be used to the combative attitude, but I still wish people wouldn’t get so upset.”

  “I understand.” Colin rested his elbows on the armrests of his chair. “I never realized people could be so harsh until I moved back home. I’ve only been here for six months and part of me wants to get the hell out of here. But I’ve got the financial commitment to Farin in the house and the business is here. It’s confusing.” He wasn’t sure why he’d admitted that to Jordan. He didn’t tell anyone about the issues he’d dealt with because of where he lived.

  “Have you been targeted?” Jordan leaned forward in his seat. “We’ve had more complaints.”

  “About what? That I’m gay? Or that I run a support group for gay single fathers? Or because I came back to my hometown?” Colin snapped. “Oh, you mean has anyone pulled something stupid? I deal with it.”

  Jordan didn’t say anything for a long moment. The corner of his mouth twitched. “There’s a group in town that has made it their life’s work to run the LGBT community out of Cedarwood. I’m sorry if they’ve bothered you. Have you reported them to the police?”

  “I don’t know who has been leaving the flaming bags of dog shit on my front porch. I knock it into the grass with
the shovel, then hose the mess down.”

  “Damn. I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” Colin asked. “I’m gay. I don’t lie about my sexuality. I’ve got a son and I want to be the best role model for him that I can be. If that means taking my lumps, then I will.” Although putting up with the flaming shit on his porch sucked.”

  “Speaking of taking lumps, that’s the other reason I wanted to talk to you. I’m sorry about high school and the crap from the team. I know it’s a long time ago, but it’s bothered me. Not in a clear-my-conscience sort of way. I really feel bad about how that all went down. I was a jerk and you deserved better.” Jordan sighed. “Did you really have a crush on me?”

  Colin debated his answer. Was Jordan getting some sort of ego stroke doing this? Colin could be a dick and lie or be honest. He shifted in his seat. “I did. A big one.” He tried to look Jordan in the eye, but the pain from the past came back in waves. “A crazy, big teenage crush. You were the reason I came out.”

  “I was?” Jordan asked. His voice cracked. “Really?”

  “I figured if I was going to ask you out, I’d better be out. The guys on the team heard and most ignored it, but there were a couple who didn’t want to change in the locker room with me.” Colin shoved a lock of his hair from his forehead. “Silly, but it worked out, and they forgot once I hit that hot streak during our senior year.”

  “I remember. I was the only one with a better batting average.” Jordan scooted to the edge of his chair. “That’s the thing I can’t keep silent about. I—I had a crush on you too. I wasn’t ready to come out and I hid my feelings. There was a lot more going on, too.” He shook his head. “Mom and Dad had me tested for ADD. They said no one should be as all over the place as me. Turns out I had attention deficit disorder. They put me on meds, which screwed me up during our junior year. Once that got sorted out, I was fine, but my folks split. No one knew about it, but they decided the pressure of dealing with me was too much.”

  Colin narrowed his eyes. He’d known all along that Jordan was gay, but he didn’t know about Jordan’s parents’ disapproval. He sighed and parsed through what he’d been told. Jordan had been a brilliant student in school, but the guy had always acted out. The bad-boy image had probably been what drew Colin to him. He’d wanted to save Jordan. But the thing with Jordan’s parents…that was tough.