Home to Cedarwood

by Megan Slayer

  “There was no way I was about to come out while all that shit was going on. My folks would’ve had an even bigger fit. They’re part of the antigay group. Well, no, they were. Mom died two years ago in December.” Jordan sighed. “So, I’m sorry. I wish I’d been less of a dick back then and followed my heart.”

  The last part of Jordan’s statement knocked Colin for a loop. Followed his heart? No way.

  “Well, I need to get moving. My next shift starts at eight. I got the overnight shift twice in a row. Not my idea of fun, but it pays the bills and it’s the last one for a couple of days.” Jordan stood and offered his hand. “So, I’m sorry. Hope we can put the past behind us.”

  Colin rose from his seat and shook hands with Jordan. He’d never expected to be in this position. If he’d been asked yesterday to put the past behind them, he would’ve laughed. Now, he looked at the situation with a fresh perspective. “Water under the bridge.” He smiled and gripped Jordan’s palm longer than he should’ve, but he liked the feel of Jordan’s hand in his. “Come back any time. Maybe we could go to the batting cages.” He couldn’t believe he’d said that, but the words felt right.

  “I’ll see you around. Probably when the next Conrad comic comes out. I love these things.” Jordan blushed again. “Wait. You want to hang out?”

  “I do.”

  “Then yeah, let’s do that.” He let go of Colin’s hand, bowed his head and left the office.

  Colin collapsed on his chair and replayed the conversation with Jordan over in his mind. What a crazy day. The lowest of lows and now…not so low. He’d never expected to sort things out with Jordan and be on peaceful terms. It seemed Jordan was saying he didn’t expect them to become friends again.

  Colin tapped the screen of his tablet and focused on sorting out the paperwork snafu. Farin must’ve inadvertently ordered too many copies of the latest paperback bestseller. No store needed a hundred copies. They’d barely sold fifty and that was with a sale. He pulled up the order on the tablet and noticed the issue. Farin’s scrawl had gotten them into trouble. His numbers were damn near illegible and Farin probably couldn’t read what he’d written. In his hurry to get the order out, he must’ve used the wrong numbers. Well, now they had to move another fifty copies of the romance book.

  “Col?” Farin bounded into the office. “The school just called. Gage got into a fight. You need to go up there.”

  Colin scrubbed both hands across his face and suppressed a groan. A fight. How does a seven-year-old manage to get into a fight? He left his chair and grabbed his keys and wallet from the middle drawer.

  “This day just keeps getting more and more interesting.” Colin clapped Farin on the shoulder. “I must’ve left my phone in the car. Sorry about that.”

  “If it’s that kid that’s been picking on him, I hope they both learned their lesson, but I’m kinda glad Gage stood up for himself,” Farin said. “If the kid is like the mom, then he’s probably relentless.”

  “Like the mom?” Colin strode through the store. “What’s the story?”

  “She’s the PTA leader. Comes in for beauty magazines. If she knew you and I were gay, she’d have a fit. I’ve kept my mouth shut because I don’t want to make too many waves and run other customers out of the store.” Farin shrugged. “Gotta turn a profit.”

  “I know. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” The headache he’d been nursing all morning increased. He could’ve lied to himself and blamed the time staring at the computer screen, but he knew better. He needed to have a sit-down with Gage.

  Colin kept his speed under control as he drove back to the school. He probably should’ve held on to his visitor’s badge from his earlier visit. He parked in the visitors’ lot before he headed into the elementary building. The secretary smiled and buzzed him in, then rushed to the counter.

  “I’m sorry. We couldn’t reach you by phone,” she said. She scribbled on a clipboard, then offered him the page. “Sign in and I’ll send you back.”

  “Thanks.” Colin signed his name and noted the time. “What’s he done?”

  “I’ll let the principal fill you in.” She opened the swinging half-door. “Second door on the right.”

  “Thank you.” Colin strode past her and made his way to the principal’s office. He stopped in the doorway. The unmistakable sound of sniffling broke the silence. He knew that choked sound. Gage.

  The principal sat at his desk. He propped the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He waved his fingers, signaling to Colin to enter. Colin found Gage curled up on one of the chairs. He hugged his knees and continued to sob.

  “Hey, kid.” Colin sat beside him and gathered his son in a hug. “Whatever it is, we’ll get you through this.”

  “I hit him, Dad. I did.” Gage stared up at Colin. His cheeks shimmered with tears and more wetness filled his eyes. “He said you were a fag. Dad, that’s not nice.”

  “No, kid, it’s not.” Colin stroked Gage’s hair. “But you shouldn’t have hit him.”

  “Well, that’s done.” The principal placed the phone in the cradle. “Now, Mr. Baker. Two meetings in one day.”

  “Sometimes it works that way.” Colin continued to hug his son. “What happened?”

  “Well, your son and another boy were at early recess. There was discussion over who got the last available swing. According to Gage, he reached the swing first. When the other child disagreed, he used unkind words to refer to you. According to the other boy, Gage shoved him off the swing and said his dad would make them all gay.” The principal rested his folded hands on his desk. “I’m inclined to believe Gage, but this isn’t the first altercation between the two boys.”

  “And you can’t tell me who the other young man is? I’d like to sort this out with his parents.” Colin rubbed Gage’s shoulder. At least the boy had stopped crying.

  “Well, first, since Gage did hit the boy and admitted to doing so, I’m sending him home. It’s not an actual suspension, but more of a long time-out to think about what he’s done.” The principal handed Gage a piece of paper. “Take this to the office ladies, then wait on the blue chairs. Okay? Someone will bring you any work you need to complete.”

  “Yes, sir.” Gage wriggled away from his dad. The tears streamed down his cheeks once more, but he complied with the principal.

  The older man waited until Gage had left the room. “He’s a good kid and, even though he’s been late frequently, your son does have manners and seems to understand what he needs to do to improve. Because of that, I can’t see the point of giving him a suspension. He’s learned his lesson, I’m sure. Now, about the parent situation. How should I say this… You don’t want to argue with these parents. Some come in here and are reasonable. The parents of this young man…not so much. I shouldn’t be telling you that, but you’ve always been on the level with me. I’m meeting with those parents shortly, but rest assured I’ll get to the bottom of this issue.”

  “I can’t say I’m reassured. This isn’t the first time Gage has complained about a child insulting him because of my sexuality.” Colin folded his arms and crossed his ankles. He hated to look so combative, but the gay slurs had to stop.

  “I’m sorry he’s having to deal with an adult issue. Again, I’ll have a lengthy discussion with the parents and the student. We’ll get this situation resolved.” The principal stood. “Thank you for your time.”

  Colin left the office and picked up Gage, but he didn’t feel much better. He’d made a small stride with Jordan, but the situation with Gage and the name-calling kid had taken a gigantic step backward. One day he’d understand why people felt the need to be so awful to each other. Just not today.

  Chapter Four

  Colin opened the back door of the car for Gage and sighed. He didn’t mind coming to the park. He loved pushing Gage on the swings and spending time with his son. Today was different.

  “What?” Gage shrugged and started away from Colin. “It wasn’t my fault.”

  “Gage,
you hit another student. You’re lucky you weren’t tossed out of school for the day.” He shut the door and locked the vehicle before hurrying after Gage. “Get back here.”

  “Dad.” Gage faced him. “He hit me first. He’s been calling me names.” His eyes widened and he sighed. “I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t want to make you mad.”

  “I’m not mad.” He hugged his son. He wished he could stop the insults and trials Gage had to deal with, though. He couldn’t save his son from the nastiness he dealt with every day.

  “Do you have to be gay?” Gage stared at him. “Can’t you not be?”

  He had fifteen different ways to rationalize his answer, but none would make much sense to a seven-year-old. God, explaining himself wouldn’t be easy. “Gage, some guys like guys. Some guys like girls. Some girls like girls. You can’t tell someone to be something they aren’t. I like guys.”

  “Then why is that bad?”

  “It’s not.”

  “Then why does Brian want to make fun of me? He makes fun of you,” Gage said. “Why can’t we all get along?”

  “You’ve been listening to me too much,” Colin muttered. He had to compose himself. “Some people don’t like what they don’t understand.”

  “Like math?”

  “Kind of.” He chuckled. Only Gage could boil this down so much. “Suffice it to say, when there’s something scary, some people will say things that aren’t nice to make other people afraid. It’s not good. You have to have an open mind.”

  “And like math?” Gage groaned. “Fine.”

  Gage didn’t really understand, but Colin had lost Gage’s attention somewhere. “Go swing. I’m right behind you.” He followed his son over to the swings. Once Gage had selected a seat, Colin tugged on the chains, lifting Gage back in the air.

  “Whoopie!” Gage’s hair fluttered and he tilted himself back in the seat. He kicked his legs.

  Colin grinned. For a moment, his son had nothing to worry about except the wind in his hair and getting more height on the swing. He kept pushing Gage and stepping out of the way as Gage pumped his legs. Colin glanced over his shoulder and noticed a police car driving down the path through the park. He couldn’t see in the windows and didn’t recognize the officer in the vehicle. Jordan? Maybe.

  He continued to push Gage on the swings, but his mind wandered. He liked Jordan—or he had when they were in school. Jordan knew how to dress well. He had the popular kids as friends. Jordan was one of the best players on the baseball team and a favorite on the hot stove league circuit. Jordan took the hot girls to the dances and had good grades. The guy was a catch.

  But he hadn’t wanted anything to do with Colin, other than be friends on the baseball team. For all Colin knew, Jordan still hadn’t come out yet.

  Still, he didn’t have to look so hot in that uniform. Colin chuckled to himself. He wasn’t much for men in uniform. He’d grown up around guys in baseball gear. But Jordan in that black outfit was more than he could handle.

  What is it about Jordan, though?

  Maybe the issue wasn’t Jordan, but Colin. He focused on his son, but his thoughts turned back to his dating situation. He had to be the problem. He had a kid. He owned his own business, but wasn’t rich. According to his friends and his brother, he was a catch. He wasn’t attached. He had friends. What put guys off? Most of his boyfriends hadn’t hung around for more than a couple of months.

  The reasons the guys dumped him came to mind. You’re nice, but I’m not looking for anything permanent. Who said he had been? I want to be with you, but I’m not father material. Good to know before they got too serious. He refused to bring a man into the house on a permanent basis if the guy wasn’t a kid person. I need a man who is devoted to me, not to everyone else. He had a kid. He had to be devoted to Gage. He was a dad first and a single man second. I need a man who can be home. You’re always at that stupid bookstore with your brother. I don’t think you want to spend time with me. He groaned. That man hadn’t been a very good long-term prospect. His ex-boyfriend, Fritz, had hated the store. Farin swore Colin was too picky, but what was wrong with being choosy? He had to consider his son more than his dating life. Maybe guys didn’t want to be the third fiddle in the relationship.

  Would Jordan respect that? He had no idea.

  “I want to play on the monkey bars,” Gage shouted. “I see Kase. Can I?”

  “Let’s slow down, first. Don’t jump off.” Colin whoa-ed the swing down until Gage could leave the seat without getting hurt. “I’ll be over on the bench. I’ve got my eyes on you.”

  “Good.” Gage grinned, then darted in the direction of the spider-shaped iron bars. He climbed to the top with his friend and made faces.

  Colin sighed and strolled over to the empty bench. He looked for the police car before returning his attention to Gage. Why did he want Jordan to be there? Why did he care if Jordan saw him? So Jordan could reject him? Knowing Jordan, he’d find a way to give Colin a ticket.

  “I did not.” Gage left the monkey bars. “Don’t say that.”

  Colin focused on his son. He couldn’t fight all of Gage’s battles, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t listen in and intervene.

  “Your dad is a fag.” Kase pointed at Colin. “He’s a fag, fag, fag.”

  “Stop.” Gage huffed away from the monkey bars, but Kase slid to the ground to follow him. Kase hopped around Gage. “Leave me alone,” Gage shouted. “Stop talking about my dad like that.”

  “He lets guys sleep in his bed,” Kase shouted. “Guys.”

  “So?” Gage stopped and swung at Kase. “Shut up.”

  Colin sprang from his seat and stomped over to the boys. “Enough.” He stepped between Kase and Gage. “You’re friends. Why are you behaving like this?”

  Tears streamed down Gage’s face.

  “Don’t touch me,” Kase said. “You’ll give me your germs.”

  “I don’t know where you’ve gotten your information, but you come to the store to buy your comic books. I haven’t given you any germs.” Colin hugged Gage. “You’ve been friends for the whole school year, Kase. Who said you’d get germs from Gage or me?”

  “Dad.” Kase waggled his head. “Duh. My dad knows everything. He’s a businessman.”

  “Touching someone won’t make you gay,” Colin said. “Now why don’t you two make up and become friends again?”

  “No.” Kase turned on his heel. “Dad? I got cooties from Gage. Cooties!”

  Colin kept Gage beside him. He wanted to show his son how to deal with this conflict. If he couldn’t stand up for himself, then how could he model that for Gage? “Hugh?”

  Kase’s father glared at Colin. “What are you doing?” He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t come any closer. I don’t want to date you.”

  “Date?” Colin stopped short. “What are you talking about?” He hadn’t said a damn thing about dating. Besides, Hugh wasn’t his type. “I want to talk about what your son called me and said to my son.”

  “No.” Hugh herded Kase toward the parking lot. “Mom’s in the car. Get out of here.”

  Kase stuck out his tongue, then darted away.

  Colin tucked Gage behind him. “We’re adults. We need to act as such.”

  “Who says I’m not an adult?” Hugh glared at him. “I don’t want my son to be friends with yours any longer. I don’t want him to be gay.”

  “You know damn well I won’t turn your son gay.” Colin held on to his temper by a thin thread. “The boys have been friends for a while now. Why are you doing this now?”

  “I saw what you did back at Christmas. Kissing that man in public. No one wants to see that. You kiss whoever you want in the privacy of your own home. Don’t make everyone at the park see your gayness,” Hugh snarled. “And don’t make it look acceptable to my son.”

  “He called me a fag. I don’t insult you in front of him,” Colin said.

  “Because you’re a fag.” Hugh balled his hands. “Get out of here. Get out of this park and
Cedarwood. We don’t want you in our town.”

  “Okay, break it up.” Jordan sauntered over to Colin and Hugh. “This isn’t what the park is for.”

  Colin froze. Where had Jordan come from? Jesus. Why was this argument happening? Why wasn’t he allowed to have a life? He understood why Jordan had intervened, but Colin had this under control.

  “He needs to leave,” Hugh said. “No gays in the park.”

  Colin massaged his temples. He’d had enough. “Officer, thank you for showing up. You don’t have to worry about us. We’re leaving.” He turned on his heel and gestured to Gage. So much for teaching Gage how to deal with conflict. He’d screwed up and argued with Hugh. Not good conflict resolution. Time to tuck his tail between his legs and get the hell out of there.

  Jordan waited for Colin to leave before he spoke to Hugh. He’d known Hugh since high school. The man had no tolerance for anything he didn’t understand. Jordan stood tall and made himself as big as possible. “I’m writing you up for disturbing the peace.”

  Hugh’s eyes widened and his face reddened. “What?”

  “You heard me. You’re disturbing the peace. This is a public park. You have no right to determine who can and can’t be here.” Jordan held his radio. “A gay man can go wherever he wants in Cedarwood.”

  “He’s a fag.” Hugh shook his head. “Maybe I can’t decide who is permitted in the park, but still. I don’t like him being here. Men should be men, not gay.”

  The more Hugh talked, the more he reminded Jordan of his father. No guy was good enough unless he embodied masculinity and machismo. Wouldn’t dear old Dad keel over if he found out Jordan was gay? Jordan met Hugh’s glare. “Why do you have to hate what you don’t know?”