“I really don’t think it’s what you’re thinking,” Chief finally said to me in a quiet tone that only I could hear. I just shrugged my shoulders as if I was indifferent even though I wasn’t. I kept walking away from the people still gathered around the twin coffins and towards my car. I had refused to come in a limo that had been organized by Kent for ‘family use’ because I didn’t want to be stuck there if Brantley became ill tempered or too sad to deal with everything. Brant had his head resting on my shoulder as I walked.
“Poppy!” I heard him call my name, but continued to walk towards my car. I was just reaching for the door when a hand clamped down on my elbow.
“You might want to back off a minute, Brother,” Chief informed him.
“Seriously?” Smoke’s question came out as if he was truly shocked by the order.
“Seriously,” Chief agreed and Smoke’s hand dropped off of me just like that while he took a solid step back giving me space to open the back door so I could get Brant into the new car seat I’d had installed.
“What’s going on?”
Once I was finished buckling Brant in the car I closed the door and turned to face Smoke. Chief just stood there watching with interest, but it was clear he wasn’t going to interfere unless it was necessary. “I’m taking Brant home, because he’s tired, and I think he’s had enough today. I’ve been answering questions all day for him about why we were saying goodbye to the boxes when his mom and dad are in heaven. Why can’t we go to heaven to see them? Why can’t they come visit? Why didn’t they take him with them? It’s been nonstop. Frankly, I’m not even sure I’m telling him the right things, but you haven’t been around to ask. Kent is angry with me for some reason and won’t speak to me. You’ve been God knows where with Lord only knows who, and I just can’t help thinking I’m the last person your sister would have wanted answering these questions for her son. She only met me the one time, and she didn’t have a high opinion of me for at least half of that time.” I blew out a frustrated breath and just stood there while both men took me in.
“You look tired,” Chief finally said before moving forward and wrapping his arms around me. “I’ll come back with you and watch Brant so you can get a nap, okay?”
“There’s no need for that. I was planning on heading out with them when they went,” Smoke informed Chief.
“Really? Up until they spotted you with your ex hanging all over you Poppy wasn’t even aware you had shown up for the funeral. She didn’t know if she’d see you there at all before she left. I get that you have a lot going on right now, man, but that kid ain’t hers. It isn’t her responsibility to do all the tough stuff with him, and have you come in once the dust has settled and finally decide that you have time for him. My sister isn’t your damn nanny, and you need to remember that. She’s already had one man treat her like she was only good for keeping his house when he wanted to be there. She doesn’t need a repeat performance with extra responsibilities thrown in for fun.”
“Jesus, Chief!” Smoke yelled out at him. “You know where I’ve been! I’ve been hunting down the maniacs who took my fucking sister. You’d be doing the same goddamn thing!” He shook his head and stepped back again, apparently trying to calm himself. “Look,” he started then glanced between Chief and myself before sighing and starting again. “I don’t know how to do this. He’s my nephew, and I’ve watched him before, but I’ve never had to prioritize him before like this. I don’t know what to do here, because I can’t let Soph and Bender’s deaths go unanswered for. I can’t exactly take Brant with me when I do those things. I’ll find someone else who can help with him for the time being if it’s a problem. I didn’t mean to put the burden on Poppy.” He turned completely to me then. “I didn’t mean to leave you holding my family’s bag, I swear.”
“Brant is not a burden. Not knowing what you expect me to say to him or do with him is though. I can’t be the one making the decision about what to tell him about his parents, or how to cope, or God, any of it. I can’t because I didn’t know how to do those things for myself when I lost my family and I was an adult.”
“Plus, she hasn’t been feeling well. Not that she’d tell anyone and admit she’s not perfect.”
“What?” I asked my brother, eyes rounding in shock as I did.
“Saw you get sick this morning,” he stated coolie while eyeing me in an assessing way. Damn. I hadn’t realized he’d noticed.
“Probably just something I ate,” I told him.
“You were sick?” Smoke asked as he started taking note of what were probably dark circles under my eyes and my overly pale skin.
“Yeah, something you may have noticed if you’d even checked in with her for more than two minutes a day,” my brother grumbled out.
“Shit,” Smoke huffed again. “How about we get you guys home, and then we’ll figure everything out where you can relax.” I glanced around and noticed that the blond woman from earlier was standing a few cars down watching our interaction. Again, my doubts reared their ugly little heads and started spitting ideas into my head about how it was odd timing that he wanted to get out of here all of a sudden when she was there to witness the drama he was having with another woman. He saw where my attention was pulled and shook his head. “No,” was all he said before he pointed to the car. “Get in, drive home, and I’ll meet you there.”
When I left Chief and Smoke were still standing there talking. When I got home I took Brantley inside, put him down for a nap in my second bedroom that had become his over the past few days, and I took Bubba out back to do his business. While I was out back with my dog I heard the pipes roaring up the road. That wasn’t unusual since Chief lived just down the road. Instead one continued on down the road and one sounded as if it pulled into the driveway and then the engine was killed. I knew who would be here just as well as who wouldn’t. Smoke was a lot of things right now, grieving, looking for retribution, confused, heartsick; but I also knew he wasn’t Walker. He hadn’t left me to my own devices this whole time because he didn’t care. He left it all to me, because he thought I could handle it while he handled his stuff.
I heard the knock on the front door, but that small petty part of me refused to go answer it until Bubba was done and ready to go inside. It turned out I didn’t have to worry about that when after a couple minutes the side gate opened and Smoke sauntered into the back yard. “Figured you were out here when you didn’t answer.”
“What if I just wasn’t up for company and ignoring you?”
He gave me a half-hearted smile then launched right in to where it seemed we had left off in the cemetery. “I haven’t seen or spoken to Julie in six months until this morning. She heard about Soph and showed up, caught up to me as I heading to the,” he choked on the words and couldn’t say them. I knew how that felt. It was the final acknowledgment that the person you loved is gone. “What you saw wasn’t…”
I cut him off by throwing my hand up in the air as if to wave off the rest of his words. “Stop. It doesn’t matter, because the only reason I entertained doubts was because of your behavior over the past few days. Had you been around at all, helping with Brantley, I would have never thought…” I sighed then as I watched his face crumple.
“I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t sit still. In the brief minutes when I do everything is real and she’s never coming back. She was my little sister, but I raised her too. After my dad left, when my mom had to work so much, it was me looking after them. They’re like my kids in a way, and now,” he swallowed thickly. “She’s gone and Kent won’t speak to me, because he thinks it’s my fault. I don’t know what to do with all that.”
“I understand. I really, honestly do understand what you’re going through. That doesn’t make it easier when I have a past that clouds everything in muck. I know that shouldn’t fall on you, but I can’t help the way I feel or that I’m questioning everything now, because I didn’t question enough before.”
Smoke stepped forward then, moving cl
oser, before pulling me into his embrace. “I’m sorry, Poppy.” His shoulders began to shake as his head dipped into my hair and I just held onto him while he let go of some of his grief. Bubba stood there beside us waiting to see if he was needed for this moment or not. When he decided he wasn’t necessary he loped off across the yard.
“Will they come for us too?” I finally asked the question that had been on my mind as I was left here alone with Brantley for days.
“No!” He answered vehemently. “I’ve had Gray watching out for you too.”
“Surfer-dude?”
He grinned then. “Yeah, surfer-dude. He’s been watching the house when I haven’t been here.”
“I haven’t seen a bike out there the past few days.”
“That’s because he’s been incognito in a fucking cage. Listen, Poppy, I know what you were thinking and I just need you to understand that you weren’t forgotten. You haven’t been far from my mind, in fact, I’ve been gone so much to make sure you don’t end up like Soph. I want you and Brant safe even if that means I can’t be here while I’m hunting for the assholes who destroyed my family.” He whistled for Bubba who just looked at him from across the lawn like he was an idiot.
“Bubba, Heir,” I called out and the dog immediately responded. Smoke chuckled.
“I don’t even know how to feel about that shit,” he admitted. I grinned up at him.
“Just go with it. He knows whose boss.”
“Come on, let’s get you inside. I remember someone other than Brant was in need of a nap too.” As if on command I yawned and couldn’t seem to stop myself from doing it three more times before we even got turned around and inside the house.
Chapter 15
I awoke to the sound of little boy giggles and Smoke’s laughter. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to lie there and enjoy it, because my stomach turned the minute I moved and I had to run for the bathroom. Judging by the sun coming in through the bathroom window I’d apparently managed to sleep the rest of the evening and the entire night away while Smoke took care of Brantley.
“Poppy?” I heard Smoke call my name, but slammed the door shut behind me anyway in order to get to the toilet as quickly, and with as much privacy, as possible. Once my stomach was emptied of the little to nothing I actually had sitting on it I brushed my teeth and made my way to the kitchen where I could still here the boys laughing and joking.
“Hey!” My voice sounded a little rough to my own ears as I glanced around and noted that Bubba was sitting right beside Brantley’s chair looking for all the world like his guard dog.
“Hey babe, we were just making pancakes for breakfast. Want some?”
“Sure.”
“You were out of pretty much every breakfast meat,” he offered with a pout. I made eggs too though.”
“I see that, thank you.” I was out of the sausage and bacon because the smell of them cooking literally made me sick. I still hadn’t been given an opportunity to tell Smoke my news though. I figured now was as good as ever, but his cell rang, and he glanced down at it with a frown. It didn’t take long to know that he’d be heading out to deal with whatever the call was about. I was looking into his apologetic eyes as he spoke into the phone, and before I could let him see my disappointment I glanced away and started asking Brantley about his pancakes. They were shaped like little footballs, which seemed to thrill him.
“Unc Moke telled me no frowing dez balls.”
I laughed at him. “He’s right. That would make a mess, and Bubba might eat them.
“Bubbsba likes cancakes, Popwee.”
“Bubba likes pancakes?” I asked while trying not to laugh at the way he butchered the English language. He just shook his little head vigorously in agreement. “How do you know Bubba likes pancakes?”
“I gibbed hims some.” He shrugged his shoulders all the way up to his ears and then back down in an exaggerated gesture as if he were calling me out for being stupid. Of course he thought I should know that he’d fed Bubba pancakes.
“You know Bubba shouldn’t get people food.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not good for him,” I attempted to explain and then watched in horror as Brantley spit his own mouthful of syrupy pancake out of his mouth and onto his plate.
“Cancakes bad?” He glared at his Uncle Smoke then, as if he’d betrayed the little boy.
“Pancakes aren’t bad for little boys, just doggies,” I told him.
“Why?”
“I don’t know why. They just are.”
Brantley looked at Bubba then before turning back to me. “He wikes dem.”
“Okay, well how about we don’t feed him any more. I think he has had enough since he already ate his doggy food too.”
“Otay, Popwee.”
“Hey babe,” Smoke cut in, and I turned to see that he had been watching my exchange with Brantley.
“You have to go?”
“Yeah, I do. I want to talk with you, but it’s going to have to wait awhile. Are you okay with that?”
I sighed. “Yeah, go do what you have to do.”
“Pop, I don’t want to go. This is important though.”
“I get it, Smoke, really. Go; take care of your crap. We’ll be fine.”
“I’ll send someone in a bit to grab Brant for a bit if I’m going to be too long. You need to be able to get your stuff done too, and I know that’s not easy with a little one running around.”
“It’s fine. I’ll let you know if I ever need help.”
“I’ll call you later and see how things are going.” Smoke moved to where I was sitting and put a plate in front of me loaded down with pancakes and eggs. Then he kissed the top of my head and did the same to Brant. “I’ll be back later, lil man, you listen to Poppy, and be a good boy for me okay?”
“Otay, Unc Moke. Bye” He waved his sticky fingers in the air and Smoke just did manage to dodge them before getting syrup all over his kutte.
Once he was gone I managed to get everything cleaned up, including and incredibly sticky Brant. While he played with Bubba and watched cartoons I managed to get a little work done. By the time lunch was ready to roll around Brant and I had taken Bubba for a walk around the neighborhood and ran into my brother who offered to go get some food for us.
“When we eats?” Brant asked for the third time since we came back from our walk.
“We eat when Chief gets here with the food,” I explained.
“Popwee, why you got no food?”
“I have food, but Chief is bringing us special food, okay?”
“Otay,” he sighed indignantly. He turned around to play with Bubba who was large enough that Brantley could have ridden him like a small pony. “Bubbsba, sit!” The boy commanded and the dog listened making Brantley clap with glee. I ruffled his hair as someone knocked on the door.
“I bet that’s Chief with our special food,” I called out to Brantley as I moved to the door and opened it without thinking. I don’t know what made me do it, because I knew better than to not to check. I opened the door to see the same tall, blond woman from the cemetery the day before standing there in a pencil skirt, a rumpled looking dress shirt, and four inch peep-toe heels. She gave me a look of moderately disguised disgust and then smiled sweetly over my shoulder.
“Brant, it’s time to go, sweetie.”
“Excuse me?” I growled out. Bubba moved himself in between the door and Brantley so he couldn’t get any closer. Smart dog.
“Smoke sent me to get Brantley. I’ll be taking over care of him from here on out so he won’t need you.”
“Like hell he did,” I seethed. There was only the tiniest part of me that thought for the briefest second that she might be telling the truth, and only because Smoke had mentioned sending someone to help with Brandt. I knew deep down though that Smoke would never send this woman, especially if the first time he’d spoken to her in six months had been the previous day.
“It’s great that you’re tak
ing your babysitting duties for Smoke seriously, but I’m his girlfriend,” she started saying.
I laughed in her face then. “Really? That’s the road you want to take with this? You’re his girlfriend?” Her pinched face didn’t appear to be too happy with me. “You do realize he sleeps here every night right?” I asked. That made her grow more agitated.
“We were split up for a while, but he needs me to be there for Brantley now, and for him. I’m not letting them down.”
“You need to leave!”
“No, you need to hand Brantley over, right now. I know this is what Smoke wants. We talked about it yesterday at the cemetery.”
My jaw dropped, because clearly this woman was delusional. It didn’t matter though; because I could tell by the sound of pipes that backup had just arrived. I wasn’t wrong either. In less than two minutes my brother was in the driveway and jumping off his bike like the thing was on fire. Then, he was up in Julie’s face.
“What in the fuck are you doing at my sister’s house?”
Julie appeared shocked, whether by something he said or his demeanor towards her I wasn’t certain. “Your sister?” She questioned, finally. “There’s no way that woman is your sister. You two look nothing alike.”
“As interesting as that news is, there’s no way you’re taking Brantley anywhere so you can get the hell out of here like I just told you to do,” I explained to her.
“Julie, I don’t know what kind of shit you’re trying to pull, but you seriously need to get gone now. Smoke is on his way.”
“Good, then he clear this up so that woman gives my boy to me.”
I growled at her. Brant was still standing there stroking Bubba’s fur and watching what he could see, which wasn’t much since I was blocking his view in the doorway. Call me petty, but I didn’t even want that woman to get a glimpse of Brant. Three minutes later Smoke was pulling up on his bike. He jumped off almost as quickly as Chief had done.
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