“What in the hell are you doing at this house?” He yelled as he moved closer. Julie jumped at the tone in his voice, but then smiled brightly at him.
“Hey baby, I came by to pick up Brant. We talked about me taking care of him yesterday, remember.”
“What the fuck kinds of drugs are you on? I told you my woman would be the one caring for Brant when you asked.”
She shook her head, still watching him with something like awe in her eyes. It was clear this woman still had it bad for Smoke whether they’d been apart or not. I wasn’t sure if this woman was straight delusional or just seeing and hearing what she wanted, because she was hopeful, and unwilling to give that up.
“Why are you here?” He asked her again, and hen the fogy look in her eyes dissipated somewhat and she cocked her head to the side.
“You told me I would be taking care of him.”
“I fuckin’ said my woman would be takin’ care of him.” He pointed back to me. “Poppy being that woman.” He gestured his hand back and forth between the two of them then. You and I haven’t been together in six months why in the hell would you be the one caring for him?”
“You and Poppy?” She questioned softly, then glanced back at me before returning her attention to Smoke. “You’re with her?”
“Yeah, like I told you yesterday.”
“I thought you just meant you had brought her with you to the cemetery, because she was caring for Brant temporarily. How is it possible you moved on so quickly?” The hurt in both her voice and features was palpable.
“Julie, I told you when it was over that I meant it. Hell, you knew I’d been with other women since,” he stated making me wonder how exactly she knew if he hadn’t talked to her in all that time.
“I thought Jewel was just telling me those things to make me jealous. I thought you just needed to get some things out of your system, because you were mad at me. You were supposed to come back to me. She said she’d help make sure you came back,” the woman whined then. “Yesterday, I thought you were talking about…”
“How the hell did you know where to find Brant?” Chief asked, obviously more concerned with the fact that this woman was off her rocker and still managed to find herself on my doorstep.
“I followed you here yesterday. At first I thought you got a new house, but then I saw the car she got into yesterday too, and figured it was your babysitter’s house.”
“Not my babysitter. She’s my woman. You hear me? You are nothing to me. We are history, and it’s a lesson I don’t miss. You need to get that through your head and move the hell on. I catch you near Poppy, Brantley, my work, home, the club, or anywhere else I will be forced to take action. The club will take action, you feel what I’m telling you?”
Tears began to drip down her face so there was no doubt she was grasping the concept. “I’m s-sorry. I really thought, um…”
“IF I wanted you here I would have fuckin told you where to go. I didn’t. You followed me like a stalker to get that information, and that’s concerning as hell.”
Her eyes bugged out and she jerked back with the implication. “No! I’m not, I wasn’t. I just… I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” With that promise she turned and all but ran across the street to the Mustang that had been parked out there when Brant and I got back from our walk with Bubba.
We all watched as the woman lost inches on her regal height as she slunk into herself on the walk back to her car. It took no time at all before she had it started up and was peeling down my road. I turned to Smoke then. “That was not okay.” I didn’t wait for his response; instead I turned on my heels, and moved so I could shut the door behind me. Then I threw the lock too. I knew it wasn’t his fault. I knew he had no control over other people’s crazy, but damn it I was angry that his ex hand presumed to come to MY house and demand the child I was caring for, and call herself his girlfriend. Not that I was his girlfriend, since we hadn’t discussed it, but like I’d told her, he’d been sleeping at my house more than not so it felt like it. Maybe I was just as delusional as that woman.
I heard Chief chuckling outside, and a growl from Smoke. “Popwee, where da foods?” Shoot. I was going to have to unlock the door and lean out to get the food now, ruining my gesture of shutting him out. Jesus needed to take the wheel, because apparently I couldn’t drive my life for crap. I reopened the door and glanced out at the two men who turned to look at me, Chief with amusement dancing in his eyes and Smoke looking pissed as hell.
“You brought food?” I questioned my brother while ignoring the angry bull to his right. Chief just grinned at me and held up the two bags I hadn’t noticed during all the commotion. I probably hadn’t noticed them because they were still in his saddled bags at the time, but he’d retrieved them at some point since I shut the door on him.
“You going to invite me in to eat with you guys or slam the door in my face again?” Chief was teasing me so I just glared at him as I held the door open wider. He moved inside and laughed again as I shut it behind him, leaving Smoke on the other side of the door. “You do realize that scene wasn’t exactly his fault, right?”
“That doesn’t help me get over my anger that it happened. I need a minute. We didn’t even get to talk things through completely yesterday, because I was so tired. So, I don’t even know where I stand with that man. She told me she was his girlfriend, and I couldn’t say something asinine like, ‘no you aren’t because I am’ since I don’t know what I am.”
“He clarified that for you out there, Poppy. He told her you’re his woman.”
“Yeah? What does that even mean? I’m his woman, but in what respect? I was Walker’s wife, and you see how we were on two separate pages about what that was supposed to mean and how he was supposed to behave when I wasn’t around.”
“You can’t punish Smoke for Walker’s bullshit.”
“I know that, but also can’t make the same mistakes and overlook the same issues I did with Walk, because that didn’t turn out so well for me.”
“Didn’t it though?”
I was taken aback by his question. “What?”
“You’re here. You have me, you have a club that stands behind you, supports you, and you have a man standing outside being pissed off and refusing to leave until you talk to him. He is here, even though you’re probably pissing him off right now with your bullshit, in order to make sure you’re okay and that his past life bleeding into yours didn’t kill what you have started here.”
I glanced away, suddenly ashamed of my actions. “Let him in,” I told my brother in a whisper.
“Nope. That’s for you to do. I’m taking little man there into the kitchen, and we’re going to eat while you work your shit out.” With that he took Brant’s hand and disappeared into my kitchen while I was left standing there staring at the front door and wondering how I got to this place in my life. I knew part of my problem was that I was pregnant and overly emotional, but no one else knew that was an issue, and I couldn’t explain it without revealing that.
I opened my front door again, and glanced out to find Smoke sitting on my bottom step. He turned to peer at me over his shoulder, and stood before I could say anything. “You’re right to be mad. My shit hit your doorstep, and that is not okay. You have to understand that I agree with you. It is abso-fuckin-lutely not okay. I will deal with Julie to make sure this never happens again.”
“I think you already did that,” I informed him. Smoke grunted in my general direction and just watched me, waiting. “I’m sorry. I know you couldn’t help the fact that she just showed up with all of her assumptions. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the things I do. I needed a moment to get myself together.”
“I know,” he stated simply and then he was hugging me tightly to his body. “I promise, we’ll get everything figured out and this won’t be an issue moving forward, ever. If someone comes to your doorstep claiming I sent them, I’m a phone call away or you call someone from the club immediately, okay?”
/>
I nodded my head. I already knew this, and the only reason I hadn’t called before was because Chief was there. The problem really boiled down to the fact that I had a secret to share with him, but wasn’t sure if this was the right time. He made the decision for me though.
“I don’t have long. I came running when Chief called, but I’m still in the middle of shit.” I could see the apology there in his eyes, and I just smiled up at him and nodded my head to let him know I understood, and that it was okay. I felt like timing was against us, and we only had to wait to see if it would do damage or if it would all turn out okay in the end.
“Go, get back to what you’re doing. I’ve got Brant, and neither of us is going anywhere.”
It was then that Smoke leaned in and kissed me fiercely, all but devouring my lips with his own. The gesture sent tingles racing through my body and made me ache with a want so deep I wasn’t sure what to do with it, because he didn’t have time to even attempt to satisfy it. When he broke away it was with a promise. “We’re finishing this later, Poppy, and I’m not just talking about where that kiss was going.”
Chapter 16
Not long after Chief fed Brantley I was able to get him down for a nap. My brother hung around for a while anyway. I think he was nervous that Smoke’s ex might attempt to show up again, but I saw her face and her body language when she left. She was devastated, heartbroken, and more than a little embarrassed that she’d had it all wrong. I honestly didn’t think we’d see or hear from her again. I felt bad for her, but at the same time, she’d played one brother for the other. What did she think would come of that?
“You want to talk about it?” My brother asked me once I was able to plop my booty down on the couch and relax a bit.
“About what exactly?”
“All of it,” he stated as if that was helpful. “Julie showing up at the cemetery, here at your house, Smoke being gone so much, having the responsibility of a toddler dropped in your lap,” he shrugged then. “I don’t know, take your pick. I imagine you need someone to vent to at this point. I don’t want to be left out of your life like I was when you lived in Georgia still. I want you to be able to come to me with your problems, frustrations, and whatever. If I can help, I will. If I can’t then at least maybe it will just help you get it all off your chest instead of letting things sit and fester.”
Tears welled in my eyes as he spoke. I was so grateful to have my brother nearby again, because that was exactly what I needed. “The entire Julie situation was regretful, but not really Smoke’s fault.” When Chief gave me a dubious look I felt the need to clarify my feelings for him. “I had my doubts in the cemetery, seeing her clinging to him the way she was. I wondered if maybe she was the reason he was gone so much even though I knew what he was doing with his time. It’s not even an idea I would have entertained had things not come out about Walker when we were together, you know? So, that was strange for me to be second-guessing my gut, and then wondering if my second-guessing was wrong. It was all confusing, and having her show up here just reiterated the fact that part of my confusion is because I don’t honestly know where I stand with Smoke.”
“Where do you think you stand?”
“I don’t know. The last time we really discussed it we were going to take things slow and see how it all played out. Now, I just don’t know. I think we’re exclusive. He says I’m his all the time, and I know what that means to most guys in and around the club, but I don’t know if it’s the same for Smoke. They all seem to have their own level of commitment that goes with those words.”
“I’m guessing you’ll be discussing that one together fairly soon considering what went down today. What about Brant? How are you feeling about that situation?”
“Well, if I’m serious and committed to Smoke then that means Brant comes with him now. He would have come with him before too, just in a different way. I love the little man. He’s a sweetheart.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have feelings already developing, and strong ones, for that little boy. I’m guessing you do for his uncle too, no doubt?” I gestured that I agreed with a tip of my head and he continued on. “You aren’t even clear where you stand with Smoke, but you’re basically being forced to build this family at the same time. I don’t know if that’s a healthy place for you to be right now, Poppy. After trying so hard to have a kid with Walk, and then everything that happened, plus it wasn’t that long ago. Now, you have a kid landing in your lap who you’re crazy about, and what happens if Smoke decides he doesn’t want this with you?”
“What happens if he decides he does and another accident happens that takes either Smoke, Brant, or both away from me? Life has no guarantees, Chief. You either jump in and hope for the best, or you live in fear. I’ve let the fear paralyze me in a life I shouldn’t have stayed in as long as I did. I won’t live that way anymore. If he takes Brant away from me, then I’ll have to grieve, and move on. I don’t think he’d ever do that to me or to Brant though.”
“I don’t either, Sis. I’m just wondering out loud if you’ve thought about all the possible ways this could go.”
“Of course I have, but when you love someone, it’s really easy.” His eyebrows rose high on his forehead and I realized what I had just said. “Oh!” I huffed out as I collected myself.
Chief grinned big then and stood from where he’d been perched on the edge of the chair across from where I’d plopped down on the couch. “I think I’ve heard all I need to. I can already see how he feels about you. I just wanted to know how you felt. Just know that if you ever need me, I’m here. That includes if Smoke fucks up in any way. You were my sister first, long before he was my brother. You feel me?”
I stood and wrapped my arms around my brother’s waist and pulled him in for a hug. “I get you,” I told him with a sniffle, because damn these hormones and my brother for making me a giant sap!
Chapter 17
The next day Chief came banging on the door of my house first thing in the morning. Smoke hadn’t come home the night before, and I also hadn’t heard from him so when I saw Chief’s face as I opened the door I started to panic.
“Please, tell me you don’t have bad news,” I whined. He didn’t deny it, and I nearly fell right there before my brother grabbed my arms to steady me.
“Whoa, Poppy, it’s not like that.”
“Smoke?” I questioned him, but damn it he should have already known what I was talking about.
“Shit! I forgot her was held up last night. No, it’s not Smoke. Last I heard, he’s fine, just out of communication for a bit. I came to get you, because there’s someone at the clubhouse demanding to see you.”
“Who?” I asked, because other than Leanne I wasn’t really on ‘summoning terms’ with anyone in the Cedar Falls clubhouse.
“Walker is there, and he’s demanding to see you.” The minute he said Walker’s name I think my jaw hit the floor. “Ghost asked that I come get you. He’ll be there to arbitrate anything Walker wants to talk to you about if you need him.”
“What in the world could he want to talk to me about?”
Chief shrugged his shoulders. “Gee, I don’t know, maybe the dumbass finally realized what he lost out on when he was stupid enough to fuck up and let you go.”
“Well, it’s way too late for that now,” I shouted.
Chief grinned at me. “I know that and you know that, but now you need to come with me and make sure Walker knows that. I’ve got your back and so does Ghost, so you don’t have to worry about him.”
“I’m not worried about him, but I’m also not dragging Brantley to the clubhouse to witness my drama.”
“Leanne’s going to meet us in the parking lot and take Brant to play out back for a while until we give her the all clear,” he informed me.
“You guys planned it all out well, I see.”
“Well, after I told Ghost I thought you’d refuse to
bring Brant around Walk he suggested it. You know he is club president for a reason.”
“Yeah, I know. Let me go put some actual clothes on, and get Brant ready then,” I stated as I moved through the house. “Can you walk Bubba out back for me while I do that?”
“Sure,” my brother shouted back at me. “Bubba, heir,” he called out. Bubba hesitated in my bedroom door where he’d follow me.
“Go on Bubba, go with Chief,” I told him and he looked back at me one more time before trotting off to my brother.
“I really hate the fact that you listen to her before you’ll listen to me,” he grumbled to the dog before I couldn’t hear them anymore. Then I proceeded to get ready and finally to get Brant woken up and ready. That little boy was not a morning person.
~*~
True to the plan that Ghost and Chief had concocted, Leanne met us in the clubhouse parking lot and took Brantley around back to go play outside on the swing set the guys had built in the grassy area beyond the multilevel decks. Instead of following them, like I really wanted to, I trailed behind Chief as he made his way inside. It didn’t take long to find Walker. He was standing by the bar talking to a woman – go figure – and she was trailing her bright red talon-like nails across his forearm.
“What a dumbass,” my brother hissed out as he began stalking across the floor at a much quicker pace. I couldn’t disagree. Not that Walker ever had a chance in hell of rekindling anything with me, but still. If he thought he did, why in God’s name would he be here letting some club slut touch him?
“Walker?” I called out, as we got closer. He immediately shifted away from the woman causing her to drop her arm when he pulled his away. He stood and quickly erased the distance between us only to be stopped by Chief’s stiff-arm against his shoulder.
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