Not Looking for Love

by Anjela Day

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  NOT LOOKING FOR LOVE

  First edition. October 4, 2018.

  Copyright © 2018 Anjela Day and Chy Ann.

  Written by Anjela Day and Chy Ann.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Not Looking for Love

  Prologue

  Sometimes loyalty comes at a price. The ones that Vow to love and protect you may not be as they seem. Never knowing who to trust it can change you from, cautious to completely paranoid. Doing things that you never thought you were capable of even turning on the man you love for another. With Loyalty there is always a price.

  Prologue

  “What did you do?” I asked my breath labored as I spoke. I could feel my heart in my throat if that's even possible. I was doing every thing in my power not to break down, and cry. However Cali had put me in a tight spot.

  I loved this man. I was sure that he loved me just as much. However it all was in question in this very moment. “Oh my God Cali, what did you do?” I asked the man I'd fallen so deeply in love with I felt I would stop breathing, and die if ever we parted.

  “Babe, I'm sorry?” He said trying to connect with me. His first attempt was to take my hand into his own, however I pulled away. I was becoming sick just looking at him.

  “Nesisha, I'm nothing with out you bae.” Cali's words were full of sorrow and remorse, however his words, were just that words.

  They couldn't mend my broken heart.

  “Tears finally flooded my face, and I allowed Cali to take me in to his thick toned arms. A huge sigh left my mouth feeling a calm fall over me. A quiet comfort that I'd never felt with anyone, not even Don. Eased my mind. While I just wanted to forgive this man, and move on with our lives together. I couldn't his betrayal was to much.

  “Say you forgive me babe, please?” Cali plead. His hands now trailing my frame, as he bent into my body resting his full pillow soft lips on my neck.

  “Tell me we can still be a family. I wanna be their for our child.” He said his long fingers gripped my protruding stomach. I reached up and ran my hands over his. Tracing the platinum wedding band that sat on his fingers.

  “I love you.” He whispered. And my knees gave just a bit. Thank God he was their to hold me up.

  He had no idea how much I wanted to forgive him. How much I wanted to wrap my arms and tell him it would all be ok. I just couldn't it was to late. He'd opened flood gates that I couldn't close. All I could do is breathe and be there when it all went down.

  “Cali I love you.” I finally spoke. I grabbed his hand and turned in his arms looking in to his soft brown eyes. They were like a gate way to my sanity.

  I ran my hands through his thick curly fro.

  “Baby I can... I quickly paused in my words as the door few open.

  “Cali pushed me to the floor , and pulled his gun. My eyes widen as I looked in pure horror.

  Bam, pow, bam, pow,pow, clap clap. It was like thunder, and lightning in my living room, as everything went black.

  Love such a funny word; a worse emotion. It’s crazy because it has the ability to give you strength, happiness and mostly belief. At the same time this thing call love can turn you bitter insecure and allow you to lose sight of whom you are in that same moment.

  “Let's get this done and over with.” I said to my best friend Nichole. We had been out of school a whole damn week. She picks today of all days to come clean out our lockers. Were it not for the small little keepsakes I'd collected through out the year I'd said the hell with it. Now I'm back at the one place I'd been dying to escape the last four years. A heavy sigh leaves my mouth, as I drag my tired body up the hall. “Bitch really? Are you really going to pretend like you didn't want to have one last look at this place before we move on to brighter pastures. Nichole said dancing as she walked. “Cole,” I called her by her nick name. As soon as she was looking at me I made sure to roll my eyes. We're going to college, not to heaven. I informed her. “Well you know what I mean!” She said. Still dancing and laughing up the hall. “It sounds like you mean we going to die. I told her laughing. “ But I guess” I said walking towards my locker. The halls were so empty I could hear my heels echo with every step I took. I wish some one had told me that no one came to school the last day. Hell not even all the teachers had bothered to show up. No matter it was to late for should have, could have, and would have's. I was here now so I might as well get it over with. I told myself dragging my feet. I walked over to my locker. “I wonder where everyone else is?” Nichole asked referring to the rest of our friends. We'd all agreed to meet here today, but it seemed as if it would just be Cole and I. I quickly unlocked my combination lock, and opened my locker. Everything was still there “Oooh What's that you have there?” Nichole asked me. She looked at the neatly decorated shoe box I had in my hand, and grabbed at it. I held it over my head and laughed. “Get up there” I joked taunting her because of her short frame. Cole was four feet nine inches. While she was short, don't get her messed up. She was a fire cracker. Her bark and her bite were equally matched. One of the main reasons we'd been friends for so long. Growing up, I'd never been very out spoken. Nor was I quick to react. I was more laid back, a people watcher persay. Cole was my mouth piece. No one messed with me simply on the strength of her. Well her and Adonis. He was the other part of me. While Cole was quick witted , and never afraid to tell anyone who she was and what she would do, Adonis confidence spoke volumes. He didn't have to speak. His quite persona spoke for him. When either of them around it was really no need for me to speak. At times it could cause me to loose a part of myself. Feel as if I had not a clue who I was, or what I wanted out of life. It was times like that I would remind myself that I didn't have to be loud, or overly confident to be happy. I just had to be me. Now if only I could figure out who the hell I really was. I thought to myself. I slid down the lockers on to the floor. I carefully opened the box of keepsakes, and started to look through it. Pictures and other memorable items that casted a small light on my high school career all in one small box. Another sigh left my box looking at a couple of pictures. The first, was pictures of Adonis, myself, Nichole, and Zoe'. It was my freshman year. While everyone else had grown into themselves, I was still trying to figure out just who I wanted to be. The second was of DJ. A huge smile spread across my lips, causing my teeth to show. That boy was just fine to me. DJ was Mr. Popular. Most likely to be EVERYTHING. Hell every college in Michigan was thirsting to have him on their roster. I can't blame them, because so was I. I'd kill to be next to him. He was the captain of the foot ball team. He ran track, and he was by far one of the sexiest men in Detroit. Dark chocolate Hershey's special. His long eyelashes and dimple in his right cheek was just a small bit of his appeal. His Charm, and cocky but kind vibe was everything.

  Just looking at his picture had my body tingling in places I only thought of in bed alone at night.

  “Just what are you looking at?” A voice said standing over me. I looked away from the picture, and up at Zoe'. She was standing by her girl Cole, we just called her Cat.

  “Bout time you made it.” I said standing to my feet. I dusted myself and picked my box up. Only for Nichole to finally rip it from my hands.

  “Really Cole?” I said a frustrated look on my face. While I was rolling my eyes at Cole, Zoe' ripped the pictures I was holding in my hands from my grasp.

  “Adonis, Adonis, Adonis Alexander. Jeezus take the wheel. Oh that boy still fine as wine.” She said licking her lips.

  I had not one clue what she Saw in Don. For the most part all I saw was a tall cocky jerk, who
I loved with my entire soul of course. Just not in that way. Although for some reason, everyone of my friends were obsessed with him. I used to think it was because he was almost three years older than us. Now that we're all almost grown, I think that it's more. At this point I really didn't care.

  “Bitch eww” Zoe' said fanning the picture of DJ.

  “What?” I asked with a perplexed look about my face.

  “Bitch you still falling over DJ ass?” Zoe asked.

  “Yes, she is.” Cole responded for me. I rolled my eyes at both of them, I snatched my things back. Tossing all that I wanted to keep in my book bag. I slammed my locker, and started towards the exit.

  “Awe don't be a cry baby.” Cole cried out in laughter “Fuck you, fuck you all.” I said my bag over my shoulder as I raced out of the school a little embarrassed, I think. “Neisha, would you wait? Slow down.” Zoe' came running behind me. I really didn't wanna stop. I just wanted to be petty, and keep walking and I paused in my tracks. I turned on my heels and glanced up at Zoe' Cat was racing to standing beside her. A bitter taste filled my mouth before she even spoke. “Why can't you take a joke?” She asked as if I done something wrong. “I can take a joke. I been

  dealing with you for the last six years. If that's not funny I don't know what is.” I said in anger. “Fuck you Aneisha.” You always think you're better than everyone .” Zoe' said sounding a bit jealous. “Cut it out you two” Cole finally said. Racing over to stand in between us.” “We good Cole, I'm not about to fuck with ya girl” Zoe' said and I had to take a step back. My hand on my hip,and my face twisted upside down. I couldn't believe what the fuck I was hearing. “Damn Z we got beef?” I finally asked, and she popped her tongue almost as if she didn't want to answer. “Man whatever” I said ending the argument. I really didn't feel like fighting with two of my closest friends. Today of all days. It was the start of our last summer as carefree teenagers. I just wanted to live it to the fullest. No regrets. “I'll just catch y'all later.” I said pulling Zoe, and Cole in for a hug. I thought that Cat would join the embrace, however she just watched as we held each other tightly. While it was just the last day of school some how it felt as if it was the last day of our friendship. The last day the three of us would ever be this close. I exhale as we released, and gave the girls one last glance. “This summer is going to be epic.” I said turning as we all went our separate ways.

  Walking home I still felt some type of way; however, I couldn’t put my finger on it. Shrugging it off I walked into Larry’s market on the corner of Strathmoor and Schoolcraft. It was my everyday thing. Grab a slice of pizza, a Faygo, peach pop and of course a, long candy sour rope. Which I had already ripped open my eyes, and mouth on the candy rope I didn’t even see the huge barking dog that rushed towards me. Not even giving it another thought I dropped my bag to the ground and jumped on the first car in sight. My heart raced and my eyes grew as big as saucer's I sucked my teeth looking at the crowd of men laughing and point at me as the huge pit bull barked at me like I was meat. The man holding the chain to the dog yanked it silencing the dog. He held a cocky grin on his face and I couldn’t help to become even madder. I stood on that car ready to swing on that dumb fuck. Why did he have that big ass dog if he couldn’t control it? I thought to myself. I watched as the man hand the chain that held the dog to one of the men that stood behind him. He then extended his hand to help me down. I smacked his hand away and jumped down my candy rope still in my hand.

  “You need to keep that beast locked away” I shot off at the mouth acting unfazed looking into the eyes of this tall caramel hunk of perfection. He was mad sexy from the fresh Nikes on his feet to the Fitted NY ball cap placed on his head at a slant. I had to do a double take ,looking at his eyes. Were they gray or brown? Whatever the case I was mesmerized like in a trance.

  “Look little momma he’s no beast! But my bad he just wanted a kiss. I can’t blame him. He said grabbing at my hand. I rolled my eyes shaking out of the trance. “Listen, you need to get a better grip on whatever he is.” I said still looking at him

  “ He really got you shook, but You good I'll keep you safe.” He said smoothly. I bit down on my bottom lip to prevent myself from smiling. “Protect me? You don't even know me! Hell I don't know anything about you, except you have a huge... I paused fumbling over my words. I don't know why this man was making me nervous, but he had me shaking. Pull yo self together Neisha I told myself trying to look like I was a love sick kid. “Let's fix that right now,” He said holding his hand out for me to shake. I just stepped back,and pushed my book bag up on my shoulder. “Well anyway. The name is Khalil but my nigga’s call me Cali”.

  Again I smirked acting as if I wasn’t impressed. “Well nice meeting you Khalil,” I said letting him know I was damn sure one of his little friends. I Pushed my way through the crowd dodging the huge mutt, and walked back towards the store. “You not going to tell me yo name?” Khalil asked holding the door open as I walked into the store. “Nope,” I said a huge grin spread across my face. Oh my God I couldn't believe I'd just done that. As soon as I did it I immediately felt dumb. This man was everything, and I just blew him off. What if I never saw him again? I thought to myself trying not to get overly excited. Who was I kidding. My heart was racing and I knew it was because of Cali he was simply perfect. I wanted him to follow me inside and continue to flirt. You’re a good girl and he is no good for you! I told myself, it was what I always told myself whenever a man showed the least bit of interest. Picking up my snacks and paying for them. I walked out of the store and there was no one in sight. Feeling a little disappointed I rolled my eyes and walked home.

  I hadn’t been home but a few hours and I couldn’t get Cali off my mine. He was the type of man that I would see my friends with and wished I was them. Now I won't pretend that I’m the best looking chick in the world, but my mom didn’t do so bad. 5’7 shoulder length sandy brown hair, skin the color of toffee and eyes like a Siamese cat. Now here’s where my insecurities lied. I was far from a slim girl, in fact, I was probably the biggest chick in my whole Clique. Weighing 175 and rocking a size 14 16 I really felt as if the men that I would date would not be the ones that I show the least bit of interest in. I didn’t think I was ugly, nor did I really think that I was the next Miss America. Hell, I hid in baggy clothes ashamed of my thick shape. Although my stomach was flat from years of being on the dance team. I still never felt as if I was good enough. I undressed and readied myself for the hot bubble bath that was awaiting me. I turned up my Total CD pressing the volume all the way up I slipped into the bubbles and began to sing along with music idols. Finally, Khalil was no longer on my mind and I had begun to relax. So after rinsing the soap from my body, I retreated to my room grabbing my towel on the way out the bathroom. My music was blasting so loud and my off-key singing had me caught off guard.

  I fell in love with my best friend. I fell in love with the perfect woman and just the thought of seeing her makes everything that I do worth doing. Stepping out my car. The smell of loud still heavy in my nose. I smile knowing that Aneisha gone trip, however, I don’t give a fuck. She just my home girl... so why the hell do I stress what she thinks so hard.

  Maybe its because the truth is when its all said and done she has been my girl. I don’t know why I front. I trip any time a nigga look her way. Let a nigga tell me they want to holla! That nigga will get a quick head trauma. Aneisha is everything that any man could want in a woman. Smart sweet, and funny. She the definition of ride or die chick. And that booty... She's a fuckin brick house real talk. Her light brown skin, and pretty cat like eyes are just the icing on the cake. I also love that Neisha is just secure around me. I think that's what I like most about her. I knocked on the door and her mom opens it a mixing bowl in her hand.

  “Hey twin,” I say kissing her face and sticking my finger in the bowl of what looked like brownie mix

  “Boy go on and get your ass on out of here,” she said smiling from ear to ear. I dash up
the stairs to Aneisha’s room. The door is cracked so I walk in and get an eye full. Aneisha is sitting at the edge of her bed with nothing but baby oil and a towel that is slipping off her lap.

  I sat the gift I had for her on the chair and looked her body over. I couldn’t help but admire how she had grown into a woman. Aneisha was stacked front and back. Thick thighs round apple ass, her stomach had a little poke to it but that was sexy to me. Her smooth as golden brown skin had me on hard instantly.

  My dick started to throb and I push the door close and walk over to her. She stood up to rub the oil on her ass and I pull her into me. Slipping my tongue into her mouth and running my hands up and down her ass. I had to had caught her off guard, because she pulled away. Aneisha looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I stepped back feeling fucked up. Damn I'd crossed the line I thought feeling fucked up. “Neisha , I'm... She stepped into my space causing me to stop speaking. She gave me a pleased look, before falling backwards on her bed. The smell of fresh fruit and baby oil invade my nose and I want to bite into her ass like an apple. Her warm body was so inviting. I kissed her neck sweetly. “Damn baby, oh you feel good. I say slipping one of her breast in my mouth, teasing the other one with my fingers. I was feeling sparks of electricity, every time she touched me. “Damn what the fuck was she doing to me. All I could think about was, what I wanted to do to her. “Don, Don” She moaned followed by her clawing at my shit and I pull back. As bad as I wanted the pussy. Trust I want it. Not like that, I’ve known Aneisha since she was six years old. Her mother would bring her down the street so my big sister could babysit her. I've known Neisha forever. So I didn't want to do something we'd both regret. Hell I knew every thing about her one being she had never had a boy friend. Shit Neisha was a virgin and I couldn’t see us just fuckin. I needed her to know just how I felt about her, about us. “Neisha” babe we gotta chill. I said standing up and fixing my pants. “Wait, What?” She asked a question mark planted on her face. “Yeah I got to go,” I told her slipping my shirt back over me. I told her as I quickly pulled myself together. “Did I do something wrong Don? I mean...” She paused, and stood up wrapping her towel around her body. I could tell she was upset, but I just couldn't take it that far not yet, and if I stayed I was going to finish the job. I walked over to Neisha and kissed her cheek. She tried to doge, me but I still kissed her. I could taste the salty tears causing me to feel eve worse, as I walked out of her room.