“Well, what’s stopping you?” Bela asked.
“Um, not being Circassian for one!”
Bela stopped walking for a moment and turned to her friend. “How do you know you’re not Circassian? You said you couldn’t find your adoption papers. Maybe you are?”
Irina stopped too and sat down on the nearby bench. Bela joined her. “You’re right. I’ve no idea about my parentage. I could be anything. I guess I’ve always assumed I’m just Russian through and through.”
“What does your mother, I mean Lida, what does she say about it?” asked Bela.
“Oh, she’s definitely my mother. We might not be blood-related, but she’s my mother in all other meanings of the word.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Irina’s face softened. “I know, I’m sorry. It can be hard, sometimes, you know. Being adopted. There’s always a little part of you that feels lost.”
Bela nodded. “I see that in Angelina, sometimes. It’s like she’s not completely whole. It’s like there’s something missing.”
“Well, I’m glad she knows who her parents were and that she got to be with them if only for a few years. That’ll be a great comfort to her when she’s older.” Irina looked thoughtful.
“Yes, I know. Her parents were lovely.” A tear started brimming in Bela’s eye and she wiped it away. The pain of losing her best friend in such a tragic way was still quite raw, even after all these years.
Irina gave her a hug. “Now it’s my turn to apologise for upsetting you.” She let go and turned her gaze to the park beyond them. “To answer your question, my mother says she honestly doesn’t know, and I believe her. Apparently, my file was lost. Maybe it was an accident, maybe it was stolen, no one will ever know. That’s one of the reasons Mama and Papa adopted me. It would have been hard to find other adoptive parents without a proper file, but Mama was able to push all the paperwork through for herself. She knew the system and the loopholes.”
“And they’ve been good parents? You’ve been happy?”
Irina’s eyes shone. “They’ve been the best. I’m so lucky. They’ve loved me like I was their own. There’s never even been any favouritism with Daniel. I’ve heard sometimes that can happen when one child is adopted and the other isn’t. It might be unconscious, but it can still be there. I can honestly say I’ve never felt that they’ve treated us any differently.”
“That’s great. They do seem like lovely parents. But...” Should she keep pushing Irina for more information? She just had to know. She had to find a little clue that might link Irina to, well, her real birth mother.
Irina stood up suddenly. “Hey, enough of this melancholy talk. I’m starving and I’m sure Mama’s got something wonderful cooking on the stove. Do you want to join us?”
“Thanks, but I’d better not. I need to pick Angelina up from school.” Bela checked her watch. “Oh, my goodness, is that the time? I hope I’m not late.”
“I’ll walk fast with you. I’m sure you’ll make it.” Irina took off at quite a stride and Bela struggled a little to keep up.
“How’s she doing, Angelina? Has she settled into Moscow life?” Irina asked as they exited the park and turned left onto the main road.
“Oh, she’s doing really well. She says she loves her new school, and she’s made a couple of good friends too. Michael and I are so happy. It was one of my main concerns before we moved here,” Bela panted.
“That’s great. Children are so resilient.”
“Yes, they are,” agreed Bela. “Yes, they are.”
“MICHAEL, I REALLY THINK Irina might be my half-sister,” Bela blurted out later that evening as soon as Angelina had gone to bed and she and Michael had collapsed onto the sofa in front of the television.
“Woah, hang on a minute. Back up there. What?” Michael put down the television remote and swivelled round towards her, his eyes wide.
“Oh, have I not told you about my suspicions?” Perhaps she had been a little obsessed by all of this over the past few weeks and kept it to herself. It was hard to remember, sometimes, what she had told Michael and what she hadn’t.
“This is the first I’m hearing of it, that’s for sure.” Michael raised an eyebrow. He was used to Bela having these crazy ideas. Insisting on visiting Pavel in the police station. Going round to see Maria. He hadn’t been quite so supportive of that idea once she’d told him what she’d done.
“I guess I have a bit of explaining to do,” she said sheepishly.
“I think you have,” he said, with a smile.
Bela told him about her conversation with Mama back in January. And then about how she’d found out Mama had come to stay with Lida to have the baby.
“Have I really not told you all of this already?” she asked.
“No, it’s all new to me. But I guess that might be partly my fault. I’ve been rather busy setting up things at the office. Perhaps we haven’t had much of a chance to talk recently. But carry on, I’m all ears.”
Bela filled him in on her conversations with Irina. “It just seems to make so much sense, you know? The timing’s about right. The suspicious disappearance of Irina’s file. And wouldn’t Lida be just the kind of person to look after her own distant relative rather than allow her to grow up in an orphanage?”
Michael thought for a moment. “Yes, I can see how it might all fit. But you don’t know anything for sure. Don’t go making accusations you might regret later. I think you need to go slowly on this one. It seems like your mother and Lida didn’t really want anyone finding out about what had happened. You might start rocking the boat for no particular reason and upsetting a lot of people in the process.”
“No particular reason?” Bela’s cheeks flushed hot. “I think I have a right to know if I have a half-sister, don’t I?”
“I’m not sure, sweetie. All I’m saying is, don’t rush into anything. Promise?”
Bela sank back down onto the sofa. “Okay, I promise. But I bet I’m right.”
Michael turned back to the television and put his arm around her as he clicked through to one of his favourite shows. Bela pretended to watch too, but her mind was still whirring. What would her next step be? Should she confront Lida? No, she needed more proof. Perhaps she should get some more information from Mama. Yes, that was it. Maybe Mama could be more specific about exactly what had happened. Mama would understand why Bela wanted to know more about her own half-sister. But it wasn’t the sort of thing you could talk about over the phone. She might have to be patient. Ugh! That was something that she found so difficult to do. If only she were a bit more laid-back, like Michael.
Chapter 27
Milana
October in Moscow was a lot colder than in Shekala. Milana exited the airport and looked around at the array of taxis and other vehicles. She tightened her coat around her and stuffed her hands into her pockets. Alikhan joined her, dragging both her suitcase and his behind him.
“Shall I get a taxi, Mama?”
“Yes, I’ve got the address of the hotel somewhere in here.” She rummaged around in her purse while Alikhan negotiated a fare with the taxi driver and piled their suitcases into the back of the black Mercedes.
Milana settled herself in the back, while Alikhan sat in the front next to the driver. It had only been eight months since Murat had died, and her son was already taking to his duties as the protective male of the family. It was hard to believe he was still only sixteen. He’d shot up in height over the summer and the beginnings of a small moustache were forming on his upper lip.
Oh, Murat. Where are you when I need you? You were supposed to guide your son through these teenage years, not me. What do I know about teenage boys and all their hormones?
She still thought about Murat a lot, but the pain of losing him had lessened its grip on her heart. She would always be thankful that they’d been reconciled and that she’d told him she loved him before he died. She would be able to move on without regret when t
he time came. As for Alikhan, he still missed his father terribly, although he wouldn’t admit it. The whole experience seemed to have aged him, and she missed his carefree laughter and boyish ways.
They drew up to the entrance of the hotel. The other dancers in the ensemble would be staying here too, but not everyone had been able to afford to come by plane. Milana had decided to come for an extra couple of days to give her a chance to show Alikhan around Moscow a bit. It was his first visit.
She paid the driver, registered them both at the hotel’s front desk and found their room on the fifth floor. Alikhan threw himself onto one of the single beds and lay back. For a minute he looked like a little boy again, like the old Alikhan. Milana smiled.
“I can’t believe we’re here, Mama!”
“Well, you worked hard this year. Of course they’d choose you to be part of the team dancing in the nationals.”
“And to think we won the regionals again this summer. That’s twice in a row.”
Milana tousled his hair and sat on the edge of the other bed. She took off her high heels and wiggled her stockinged feet.
“We’ll meet up with Alyona and her mother tomorrow.”
Alikhan nodded. “I hope the coach journey wasn’t too bad. I’d hate to be cooped up for so long. She was really dreading it.”
Milana was glad that the two were getting on so well. They seemed to have worked out a new way of relating, now that they knew they were cousins. It was great that Alikhan had a proper cousin now. It had always been a regret of hers that both she and Murat had been only children.
“I didn’t tell you, Alikhan, but Alyona’s uncle is coming too. To see the finals. He wanted to see you both dance. I hope that’s okay.”
“You’ve been in contact with him?” Alikhan’s tone was almost accusatory. Milana felt herself blushing as if she’d done something wrong.
“Only about this. He rang me to check if it was okay.”
“And you didn’t ask me?”
“Well, I didn’t think I could refuse, since he’s coming to see Alyona too. We don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.”
“Will he be coming with us tomorrow?”
“That’s your call.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
“Okay.”
Milana knew not to push it any further. What would it feel like to see Azamat again? She hadn’t seen him since Murat’s accident. Azamat had stayed away just like she’d asked, and she was thankful to him for that. But was it time to start where they had left off? Was it time to introduce him into Alikhan’s life again? She sighed. Tomorrow might be a difficult and awkward day for everyone.
THE NEXT DAY DAWNED bright and sunny. There was a crisp chill in the air, a reminder that winter was hard on the heels of autumn, but that just made it perfect sightseeing weather. The leaves had already turned yellow, brown and russet, and the trees here looked barer than the ones down in Shekala. There was something thrilling about being back in the capital. Today she wanted to show Alikhan all the sights, but perhaps she and Madina would have a chance to slip into one of the foreign boutiques and do some shopping.
They ate their breakfast of kasha, slices of bread with cheese and kolbasa, and black tea with lemon. The hotel dining room was busy, and Milana recognised some of the other Talinka dancers and their parents. Madina and Alyona would be checking in later that morning, and they had planned to meet up in Red Square just after lunch.
“I thought we’d spend the morning in Ismailovsky Park, what do you think?” she asked Alikhan.
“Is that where all the souvenirs are? Sounds good. I promised Nana and Granddad I’d bring them back something,” he said. Murat’s parents had asked her for some particular items too, so she needed to look out for those.
“I’m sure you’ll find something they’ll like.”
They had a lot of fun riding the metro and then browsing around all the stalls. Alikhan chose a patterned tea towel set for Nana and a decorative vodka glass for his granddad. He also bought some sweets and chocolates that looked a little different to the ones they were used to in Shekala.
From Ismailovsky Park, they headed back into the centre. Milana had promised to take Alikhan to McDonald’s. She’d only been once herself, so she was just as excited as he was. A café in Shekala had tried to replicate the famous American fast-food chain, but it wasn’t the same.
They exited the metro at Pushkinskaya and walked across toward the golden arches. Alikhan was so excited he was practically jumping up and down. There were a lot of tourists milling around this area too. Why would you come all the way to Russia only to eat at McDonald’s? But then, it was probably familiar and safe. Even the names of the meals were basically in English with Russian letters. She read them out. ‘Big Mac’. ‘Fillet o’ Fish’. Murat would have found this so funny. What a shame he couldn’t be here to enjoy this with them.
Their stomachs full, they jumped back on the metro to Okhotny Ryad, and walked back out into the sunshine along with the myriad of tourists from all over the world.
“There they are!” Alikhan called, as he spotted Alyona in the crowd just inside the entrance to Red Square. He waved wildly, and Alyona waved back. Milana ran to give her friend a hug.
“I’m so glad you made it. How was the journey?” she asked Madina.
“Oh, not too bad. We had a rest in the hotel room before we came out here, but I may fall asleep at any minute. I don’t think I slept a wink on that bus.” Madina did look tired, but there was a certain sparkle in her eyes. “We’ve brought someone else with us,” she added.
Milana looked over to where Madina was indicating, and saw a familiar figure hanging back, slightly unsure of when to come forward to be introduced.
Milana took the initiative. “Oleg, I believe. How nice to meet you properly, at last.”
Oleg shook her hand and then held his arm out for Madina, who shyly linked her arm through his. Milana gave her friend a look which she hoped conveyed ‘We’ll talk about this later; I want to hear all about it!’.
The five of them had a wonderful afternoon, wandering around the Kremlin, queueing up to take a look inside Lenin’s mausoleum, and admiring the beautiful architecture of St Basil’s cathedral. They wandered through the iconic shopping centre, GUM, and then settled down for a cup of coffee in a nearby café.
“Oh, my feet are killing me already,” Milana groaned, removing her shoes briefly to rub her aching soles. “I don’t know why I didn’t wear more sensible shoes.”
“It’s because you always look so glamorous,” smiled Madina. “It’s the price you pay.”
“I suppose you’re right. But now...,” Milana glanced around to check that Oleg, who had gone to order their drinks, was out of earshot. “You’ve got to tell me what he’s doing here. I want to know everything!”
Madina laughed. She seemed so happy in that moment that Milana didn’t think she’d ever seen her friend look more beautiful. “He asked to come. I told him all about Alyona’s dance troupe, and he insisted on taking time off work to join us.”
“Oh?” Milana raised a suggestive eyebrow.
“Oh no,” Madina shook her head, “It’s nothing like that. He’s being very gentlemanly. Separate rooms and all that. But it is nice to have some time together, the three of us.”
“Is Alyona okay with it?” Milana lowered her voice, but Alyona and Alikhan were deep in their own conversation and clearly weren’t paying any attention to what their mothers were talking about.
“Yes, she seems to really like him. I’m so glad.”
“And, Musa. Does he know?”
Madina’s eyes narrowed in disapproval. “I told him about the dance competition, but he found some excuse not to come. Ever since I turned him down, he seems to have lost interest in Alyona too. I know I made the right decision, but I’m sad for her. It seems he didn’t really want to be a good father after all. I should have known that a leopard doesn’t change its spots.”
; Oleg came back to the table, and Madina sat back, the smile returning to her face. “But did I tell you that Mama came up too?”
“Your mother, really?”
“Yes. She flew up with Azamat. Papa couldn’t make it, of course, but Mama was quite excited once Azamat talked her into it. I don’t think she’s left Shekala for years.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Milana swallowed a lump in her throat. She’d been prepared to bump into Azamat tomorrow at the competition, but not his mother. Why that should be a problem, she wasn’t sure. But all those years ago, when they’d been together, she’d never once met his parents. It seemed a bit strange to be doing it now. Did Azamat’s mother know about Alikhan? Madina wouldn’t have mentioned it, would she? She would have to ask her later. Oh dear, this could be awkward.
Chapter 28
Azamat
The evening had been spectacular. Azamat hadn’t realised quite how much he would enjoy himself watching all the dances. It had transported him back to the time when he’d been dancing in a similar troupe himself. Would he ever have got as good as this if he’d stuck it out? Maybe. But it was too late for regrets. To be able to watch his niece and his own son performing to the best of their ability had been reward enough.
Azamat guided his mother out of the auditorium into the corridor. It had taken a lot of persuading to get her to come, but she’d clearly enjoyed it. Her eyes were glowing with pride, giving her a youthful look that he hadn’t seen since Papa got shot.
“Hey, Nana, Uncle Azamat, what did you think?”
Alyona came running up to them in the corridor, the buzz of adrenaline clearly still coursing through her body so that she was practically skipping with joy like a little girl again. Azamat gave her a big hug.
“You were amazing. Perfect. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
“And second place overall!”
“That’s a brilliant result. Everyone must be so proud.”
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