One More Time

by Ford, Mia

  “Well, if you join me then I won’t be alone.”

  She took the bait and I ordered her a beer.

  Her name was Sandy. She was sexy, a bit ditzy, but cute. And in my lonely, depressed state of mind I let things go way farther than they should have with this alluring stranger.

  “So, your place or mine?”

  The question came out of nowhere. I was almost taken aback by it. One second we were having some playful banter and now this woman was asking me to go to bed. It had been awhile since I’d been hit on or picked up in a bar.

  I started to say “my place” when suddenly I realized what I was doing. I had come back for Debbie. I realized that she didn’t want to see me, hell she wouldn’t even talk to me, but I still had to keep the hope alive. If I hooked up with some random woman in a bar then I could basically kiss all that goodbye. It would be like admitting that it really was over and there was no hope with Debbie.

  “Thanks, but I actually have to go,” I said.

  I paid my tab and went home.

  The moment I sat down on the couch the floodgates opened and the tears began to roll down my face. I buried my face in my hands and for the second time in as many nights I cried myself to sleep.

  I was so lost.

  Debbie. I need you.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Debbie

  What was I going to do?

  I read through the same ledger for what must have been the tenth time and then pushed myself away from my desk in frustration. I needed a break. Besides the baby was kicking like crazy today, I’d peed about twenty times, and my back was killing me.

  I wanted to go home so badly, but it was only one in the afternoon. I had to tough it out a bit longer.

  I kept thinking about Paul. Even after talking with my mother I had no idea what to do. In fact, I was more confused than ever.

  It felt like the more I thought about it the worse the anxiety got. My hormones were all over the place. One moment I was giddy and goofy and ten minutes later I’d be on the verge of tears unable to concentrate on anything other than Paul.

  I didn’t want to hurt Roy; he was such a great guy. But he wasn’t Paul.

  I went in to the lounge and got some more coffee. I was so tired. I had barely slept the night before. I was too wired and anxious worrying about what to do.

  I wished I’d been calm enough to at least hear Paul out. I should have talked to him. But I was so shocked that he’d come back. I just needed time to think and process it all.

  I needed him to know about the baby. Even if we weren’t together he needed to have the opportunity to be there for his child.

  I had to talk to him. But I was afraid to go see him. Hell, he might not even want to see me now.

  The future seemed so confusing and bleak. When would things become clear again?

  When…?

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Paul

  SIX MONTHS LATER

  There she was. Debbie.

  She looked amazing. Wow. I missed her so much.

  I was going to talk with her.

  I sat my glass of punch down on the table and strode towards her table.

  The Halloween Dance was even better than the year before. I’d decided to go as Dracula this year. I loved vampires and the novel I’d been writing the past several months had actually turned into a vampire novel and I thought it really worked. I had spent the past few weeks sending it to agents. Now I was just waiting to hear something.

  So Dracula was in honor of my book.

  When I showed up at the party it was in full swing. Everyone looked great. I loved to see people so committed to really dressing up and showing how much they loved the season.

  I was so nervous approaching Debbie. It had been a few months since we’d spoken. She had arrived at my house one day and asked if we could talk.

  I was shocked to see her, but very grateful. I’d done nothing but think of what I’d say to her if she ever gave me the chance. And now she was. I felt like some prayers had been answered.

  “Listen, I’m sorry I never gave you a chance to explain before about what happened,” Debbie began. “I was angry. But I’m ready to listen if you are ready to explain it to me.”

  “Ok,” I said. “I would love the opportunity. Do you want to sit down?”

  Debbie sat down on the couch and I joined her.

  Then I began.

  “I rushed home to see my dad in the hospital. He hung on a while, but he passed away.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Debbie said.

  “Thanks. I was devastated. I could barely talk for days. And for a while after the funeral I just sank into a sickening depression. I didn’t want to talk to hardly anyone. I couldn’t let you see me that way.”

  I proceeded to tell her about my family’s farm and how I had to work to keep it afloat.

  “I reached out to you,” I said. “Every time I tried to call I got a message that your number was not in service. And I even created a Facebook account and sent you a friend request hoping we could connect that way.”

  “I lost my phone. I had to get a new number and everything,” Debbie said. “I never got any Facebook friend request from you…”

  “What? I know I sent it,” I said. “That’s very strange.”

  Debbie looked like a thought had just struck her.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” she said. “I just thought of something. It’s not important.”

  “After a while, I just thought you moved on or had forgotten about me,” I said. “But I didn’t think you moved on so quickly…”

  Debbie gave me a strange look.

  “Wait… you think…no…” Debbie said.

  “What?”

  Debbie took a deep breath.

  “This is your baby. She is due in a few weeks, actually.”

  I was floored. My head started to spin but then an excited feeling started to flush through me. I was going to be a father. Debbie, the woman I loved so much, was having my child.

  I couldn’t hold back the tears.

  “You’re saying I’m going to be a father?” I asked.

  Debbie smiled. “Yes. I found out just a few weeks after you left.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I’d lost more than I had even thought. Debbie was having my baby.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you and the baby. If I’d had any idea I would have come back in a heartbeat. I would have found a way to make it work,” I said.

  And I would have. I meant every single word.

  When Debbie left my house that day we agreed to stay in touch and to stay friends. She was happy with this guy she’d been seeing named Roy. I was happy for her. But I still felt crushed that we weren’t going to be together. At least I would be in our baby’s life. I was determined to be the best father I could be.

  And maybe by some miracle there might be hope for Debbie and I one day.

  Just maybe…

  Maybe was all I had left.

  And now here we were at the Halloween dance, the place we’d first met.

  I was standing behind Debbie’s chair now. Somehow I found my voice and spoke.

  “Hi, Debbie,” I said.

  Debbie turned around and with a smile on her face said “Hi, Paul.”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Debbie

  Paul was really there. And he looked fantastic.

  I knew he would probably come, but I hadn’t expected the overwhelming feeling of déjà vu that came with laying eyes on him. I’d seen him a few days before when he came to pick up our daughter Emily to spend the day with her, but I’d only seen him briefly.

  My parents were babysitting her tonight. Our sweet little Emily. I couldn’t stand to go more than a few hours away from her.

  “You look fantastic,” Paul said to me.

  I thanked him and looked over at Lara who was rolling her eyes. I tried to ignore her.

  “Would you like
to dance,” Paul asked.

  I once again glanced over at Lara and Mark who both raised their eyebrows. They figured this was not a good idea.

  But it was just a dance, right?

  “Sure, I would love to,” I said.

  Being out on the dance floor again with Paul just like last year was such a trip. It had been good the way we’d patched things up a few months ago and when Emily was born Paul had stepped up to be as involved in her life as he could be. We had a strict visitation schedule that we both agreed with and stuck to.

  It had been great.

  “So, where is Roy tonight?” Paul asked.

  “He is out of town actually,” I said. “He is attending some pharmacy convention or seminar.”

  “That sounds fun,” Paul said.

  I laughed. “It most definitely is not.”

  We shared the laugh and it felt great. I’d missed this. Dancing with Paul, looking into his eyes, and feeling his touch on mine… it was all making me feel so nostalgic for what we’d shared. The hot, spicy romance that was between us, the old feelings, the heat, the lust, the passion—all of that was starting to bubble to the surface as we danced.

  We danced for several songs, took a break to get some beer, and then danced some more. He was even hanging out with the gang the way he had the first night we’d all met him last year.

  And I realized I’d hardly thought about Roy at all. I knew that Roy was getting very serious and was probably going to pop the question any day now, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I knew that. My family wanted it and my friends wanted it, but I didn’t.

  Being with Paul that night brought everything together for me. I knew that he was the one I wanted. I knew that he was the one that our baby needed. He was her father and she loved him dearly. They were perfect together. Paul and I were perfect together.

  We had a family. We just needed to be together.

  It was during a slow dance when I finally broke down and began babbling to Paul about how I felt. Once I started talking the words just kept coming along with the tears and all of the emotions I’d had pent up inside of me for so long.

  “Paul, I need you” I suddenly blurted out as the song came to an end. “I want you and only you. I can’t keep fighting this anymore. I want us. I need us. Emily needs us. Please, tell me you feel the same way.”

  I was full on crying now. I couldn’t help myself. I was breaking down. It had been so hard to hold everything back for so long. I was over it.

  Paul looked deeply into my eyes and smiled, his face coming close to mine.

  Before he kissed me he whispered, “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  His lips touched mine and Heaven embraced us.

  Epilogue

  Debbie

  “For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision in the end.”

  I turned my head to see my mother standing behind me.

  “Thanks, mom,” I said.

  Then I gave myself another look in the mirror. I was standing there looking back at myself in the most beautiful wedding gown I had ever laid eyes on. I never thought I could look so gorgeous.

  I started to cry.

  “Don’t cry and mess up your makeup,” My mom said with a smile as she hugged me warmly. “You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

  “You have to say that,” I said. “I’m your little girl, remember?”

  “No, you are my big girl all grown up and marrying the man you love. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, mom.”

  The knock came at the door.

  “It’s time!” Lara’s voice shouted.

  “Ok, let’s get you married,” my mom said.

  A few minutes later I was being led down the aisle by my father to meet Paul who was standing at the altar. He looked amazing in his black tux. His hair looked perfect. He’d even shaved smoothly for the occasion foregoing his typical stubble. He looked like he could have been a male model.

  I was so lucky.

  The ceremony was short, but beautiful. I felt so nervous walking down the aisle with everyone looking at me, but now that I was there with Paul all of that faded away. Nothing in the world mattered but him.

  It meant a lot to me that my family and friends had finally forgiven Paul. He’d shown them all the past six months how much he cared for me and our daughter. He was a great father. And I knew he was going to be an amazing husband.

  I never thought I could be so happy.

  Before I knew it the priest was asking me to say those two special words.

  “Debbie, do you take Paul to have and to hold, through sickness and health, forsaking all others ‘till death do you part?”

  “I do.”

  He asked Paul the same question and he quickly said, “I do.”

  “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

  The words hung in the air for several moments.

  “You may now kiss the bride,” the pastor said.

  Paul looked in my eyes, then he slowly peeled back my veil and then he bent down and kissed me so softly, so sweetly.

  The church erupted in applause.

  “Ladies and gentleman I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Paul and Debbie Henry!”

  I loved the way our names sounded together.

  Paul looked over at me and winked with a huge smile on his face.

  Then we both glanced to our left where we saw my mother holding Emily, our sweet, precious Emily, on her lap. Our daughter was smiling widely from ear to ear and clapping her cute little hands mimicking everyone else around her.

  “She is so perfect,” I said.

  “Yes, she is,” Paul agreed. “Our family is perfect.”

  I tried not to cry but the tears won out in the end. It was the perfect fairy tale ending to the story of how we became a family. But even though we’d been through so much together, so many ups and downs, so many hard times and good times, I knew that this was all just the beginning of everything for us. Our story, our family, our lives together—all of it was just starting now.

  And the future looked very bright.

  Looking back on everything that had happened and the way it happened, I’m not sure I would have changed a thing.

  38

  Sneak Peak: Forever Yours

  Screw him.

  My ex was more of a wife beater than a bad boy, and I’m never going back.

  But that means I’ve got to be careful.

  I can’t let anyone get close. Especially not Ted.

  His endless biker tattoos and thick muscles are haunting my dreams, but they’ll have to stay dreams.

  Even when Ted tells me he wants to be more than friends.

  I made some promises to myself when I ran. No romance. No men. And definitely no falling in love.

  I never thought I’d break those promises so soon.

  Ted says he’ll protect me, but he wants to know my secrets.

  How can I tell him the truth?

  That husband of mine is closing in. Which means I’ve got to run.

  There’s no time for goodbyes. No time to tell Ted about our baby.

  But Ted won’t let me go without a fight.

  And the prize is me.

  * * *

  Chapter 1: Kym

  “Hey girl, how’s it going?” Alyssa’s green eyes sparkle gleefully at me as she strolls across the sticky diner floor with ease. “Excited for our long-ass shift in this gorgeous eatery?”

  “Gorgeous if you like a side of rat droppings.” I roll my eyes. “Honestly, how can you actually look happy to be at work? It’s going to be another long-ass night of people constantly being rude to us. Are you mad?”

  “I’m excited because…” She does a dramatic drum roll on the side. “It’s my birthday on Friday and we’re headed out in the town.” She holds up her hands to stop the complaint from falling out of my mouth. “Now, I already know what you’re going to say, that you don’t ever go out, yada yada yada, but you cannot say no to your bes
t friend when all she wants to do is go out dancing on her twenty-second birthday.”

  “Don’t flutter your eyelashes at me,” I chuckle. “You know it won’t work. I don’t go out for a reason…”

  “No, I won’t hear it. Twenty-six years old is not too old to go out. You can’t spin that one at me again, I won’t hear it. And the excuse of work won’t roll either because we’re both off that night. I’ve covered absolutely all bases here so unless you can tell me right now why you can’t celebrate my birthday with me, I don’t want to hear it.”

  She flings her hands onto her hips, her eyes flashing happily at me. “So, are we going or what?”

  I part my lips, desperately searching my brain for any reason to say no, but there’s nothing. She’s right, there’s no more excuses. I’ve run out. This is why I should have stuck to my original plan when I moved to the city and kept myself away from everyone. I was supposed to be just another anonymous face in the crowds, someone who no one even looked at twice. I thought a harmless little work friend, just someone to talk to so I wouldn’t get lonely would be absolutely fine. How wrong I was. Now, I’m stuck with this nightmare!

  “I suppose so.” I gulp down a ball of fear. “Where were you thinking about going anyway?”

  “You could sound a little more enthusiastic about it! It’s my birthday after all. It’s gonna be fun!”

  “Yeah, sorry I don’t mean to sound like I’m not excited. I am.” Just fucking terrified too!

  The dinging sound rings out from the kitchen which means food is ready to go. Alyssa grabs the two plates and shimmies herself across the diner to dump the mush down in front of two bikers. Maybe when I first started working here, big muscular tattooed guys would have terrified me because I’d never experienced them before, but I’ve eased up over time. They’re in here a lot and actually, they’re the friendliest guys around.