Keep Me Wanting

by Angela Addams

  “Well, thank you, Mr. Rocco. I really appreciate you taking care of those things.” Finally.

  “I’m also going to give you a retro rebate on your rent.”

  Um, what? My expression must give away my incredulity, because he laughs and waves his hand in a gesture of no big deal.

  “It’s the least I can do. I should have gotten to this work months ago.” He clears his throat. “I’ll get out of here and let you relax. I’ll get my tools out of the way.”

  “Thanks, Mr. Rocco.” I glance up at the ceiling and notice that fresh plaster is drying.

  “Don’t mention it, Miss.” He clears his throat. “Actually, maybe you should mention it, to Mr. Doyle at least. Let him know all is good here.”

  There’s a slight tremor to his voice.

  “Just don’t tell him I told you to let him know, if you know what I mean.”

  Liam said he would talk to my landlord. My heart clenches. “I will, and thanks again.” I don’t have the heart to tell him that I have no way of contacting Liam.

  I wait for Mr. Rocco to leave before I slump down on my couch, feeling deflated and heartbroken.

  Liam was being Liam once again, doing what he needed to take care of me, to make sure I’m comfortable and warm. And I can’t even thank him for it.

  My phone dings, and my heart leaps. Could it be him? I pull it from my pocket and feel a second of disappointment when I see it’s my sister, not Liam, texting me.

  Charlotte: Remember that client I told you about? The one looking for a marketing person? Well, he wants to see more of your work, and he wants to meet you for an interview next week. You in?

  I close my eyes. This could be it. My lightning strike.

  Me: I’m in.

  And suddenly I have no time to wallow. I scramble from my couch. I have a portfolio to clean up.

  …

  I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous. Really nervous. For the first time since I graduated, I have a potential employer looking at my stuff, judging my ability to sell his product and market his brand, and my palms are sweating, I’m having a hard time breathing, and I can’t stop staring at the back of his head and trying with all the telepathic ability I don’t have to read his mind.

  His silence might actually kill me.

  “What can I say, Maggie?” Paul Martin, owner of Cognizance, turns his head only slightly, enough so he can look at me over his shoulder. He’s pointing at the computer screen where my proposed campaign is on full display. Cognizance is a ground-breaking company that specializes in designing user-friendly every day devices for people who have dementia. His products range from one-button cell phones to simple-to-use radios and clocks, among other things. I’ve designed the ads, projected the sell-throughs, and even A/B tested a few of them in various demographics. His memory aids aren’t just perfect for those suffering from memory imparting diseases but also for children who are struggling with learning disabilities as well, or at least that’s the angle I decided to aim part of my marking campaign on.

  It was a risk, I know, but when I started looking through his catalogue, I could see how some of his products were very applicable in the education world. Hell, some of them would be ideal for my generation of multitaskers as well.

  I worked for days and nights on that thing. In between shifts at the Coffee Hut and at the mall, I slogged on it, put everything I had into it, and now…now he’s just pointing and saying, what?

  “This is fantastic work!” He turns fully and nails me with a beaming smile. “Really, what an amazing job you’ve done! Creative! Innovative! Everything I’ve been looking for.”

  I literally cannot breathe. He’s taken my breath away with his compliment.

  “Uh…I…”

  Paul chuckles. “Charlotte told me how hard it’s been for you to land a job in your field.” He raises his hand. “Clearly not from lack of talent. You approached this from a direction I hadn’t been thinking of and made it work. Truly impressive.” He turns his hand sideways, outstretched toward me. “So what do you say? Do you want to work for me? I can’t pay you a lot.”

  I wait for the punch line, the offer of an internship or some paltry wage that no one would even call a living wage.

  “How does a starting salary of forty-five thousand with monthly bonus thresholds and full benefits sound?”

  I open my mouth, close my mouth, look down at his hand, then back up to his eyes. This is for real, right?

  “Maggie?”

  “I accept!” It comes out in a rush, so I say it again as I’m taking his hand and shaking vigorously. “Yes! I would love to work for you! Thank you, Mr. Martin!”

  “Call me Paul, please.” He’s still smiling as I continue to shake his hand. “Let’s get the paperwork sorted. How soon can you start?”

  “Today! Tomorrow! Whenever you want me to!”

  I’m following him to his office, which is at the top of a double wide set of stairs. He’s rented an old Victorian that’s been zoned for commercial. The previous owners had opened the ceiling so that the front foyer vaulted to the roof. Paul’s office overlooks the showroom floor where various stations are set up for customers to try each of his products. He books appointments with the families and makes the experience as comfortable as possible. I can totally envision an area close to the windows where children can play with some of his products.

  “Let’s get this paperwork signed, then we’ll zip over to the factory for an hour or so and I’ll walk you through the production side of things. We’ll get your office space sorted, and you’ll start tomorrow first thing. That sound okay?”

  “That sounds perfect!” I let my boss know at the Coffee Hut that I’d need to start working nights and weekends if I got the job here, so I know they’ll be ready to accommodate me. I’m not quite ready to give up that paycheck, as paltry as it is. The mall job will have to go, though. I like the safety net of having multiple paychecks, but I’m not superwoman.

  …

  After a morning of signing official documents, touring the factory, and meeting all of the employees there, Paul sends me on my way for lunch and afternoon to myself.

  I’ve totally got a bounce in my step; there’s no denying that. Strangely, as much as I want to call Charlotte first, it’s my mom’s number I hit.

  “Margaret, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Why aren’t you at work?”

  “Mom, I have some news that I think will make you happy.”

  “You applied for your LSATs! Oh, thank goodness, Margaret, you’ve finally—”

  “No, Mom,” I sigh. “I got a job, in my field, heading a marketing department at an innovative company just like I always dreamed. It’s a good company, Mom, with an ethical business model and, well, I’m salaried, with full benefits and even optioned for monthly bonuses.”

  There’s a beat of silence. I don’t know what I’m waiting for exactly.

  “Oh, darling, that’s wonderful! I always knew you could do it!”

  And just like that, in the eyes of my mother, I’m an adult. Possibly even a successful one.

  “I start tomorrow.”

  “Wait until I tell you father, Margaret! Congratulations!”

  “Thank you, Mom.” A flood of pride fills my body. To be truly accepted for once by my mother? Well, I could bask in the glow of it all day.

  “Have you spoken to Charlotte lately? I haven’t been able to get a hold of her since the reunion. I think she’s keeping something from me. Do you know anything? Have you been speaking with her?”

  I bite my lip and smirk. Yep, I know something that’s going to blow my mom’s brains to bits. “No, I haven’t talked to her since the reunion, either.” Other than via text when she forwarded Paul Martin’s contact information to me. “But we’re all coming for dinner on Sunday, right? So we’ll see her there.”

  The big ba
by reveal. Unbeknownst to my mother, Charlotte and Doug will be dropping the bomb of their impending parenthood during the family meal. It should be quite the show. I have no idea just how my mother will take it. On the one hand, surely she’ll think she’s too young to be a grandmother and that Charlotte has so much to accomplish in her career still, but on the other hand, A BABY!! Who doesn’t love a baby?

  “Well, you do have a point there. I’m sure she’s very busy.”

  I wait for the usual jab about how busy lawyers are compared to people with marketing degrees, but it doesn’t come. Finally, some peace.

  “How about we do some shopping on Saturday? I can come into the city and we’ll go look for some outfits for you new job? My treat.”

  My mouth falls open for the second time today.

  “Margaret? Are you still there? Hello?”

  “Sorry, Mom, I’m here. Saturday sounds good. I can meet you there.”

  “I’ll pick you up, and I’ll bring breakfast so we can eat first.”

  Mom’s going for a home run. She’s only ever visited my loft once, on the day I moved in, and proceeded to nitpick it to death. Not that her complaints and concerns weren’t justified. Rent was cheap for a reason.

  “That would be great!” I don’t mention the repairs because I want her to be as surprised as I was walking in to find all of the problems with my loft suddenly fixed.

  Liam…

  “Sounds good, dear. Okay, I have to go. I’ve got a manicure scheduled this afternoon. I’ll see you Saturday at nine.”

  “See you Saturday.”

  A warm rush of unexpected happiness washes through me, and I’m almost giddy from it. That call went better than I could have ever imagined. And she’s coming over to my place, willingly, without the usual hostility. I know this isn’t going to erase the years of turmoil between my mother and me, but I’m willing to enjoy it right now and see what happens later. Relationships aren’t easy—they take work, lots of it.

  My thoughts turn to Liam like they usually do about fifty million times a day. Can’t help it. I look down at my phone, really wishing I could call him and tell him about my new job, about Mom’s reaction to my job, about Charlotte’s baby, and to thank him for helping me out with my landlord.

  It’s been almost two weeks since the reunion. I don’t even know where Liam is, and my dad won’t tell me anything no matter how much I prod and poke at him. Even the news isn’t a great source of information. The only story I can find is related to a huge police raid that went down on the Monday afternoon of the reunion. There was a short shootout with police downtown that led to multiple arrests. No names were connected, but the whole thing happened in the time that Liam and I were together, making love one last time, so I know that what happened in Boston is what Liam and Dad were waiting for. Liam helped Dad get Shawn in custody and put an end to whatever deal was happening at the same time.

  And that’s about all I know. Dad is a vault when it comes to work stuff. I don’t even know if he’s on the case. I don’t know if there are any links between him and Liam. I don’t know anything beyond the fact that Liam is safe. I can at least trust Dad in that he’ll tell me if Liam is in danger. At least, I hope he will.

  Short of going to the courthouse and waiting around for the off chance that a trial has started, I have no real way of contacting Liam, which means I have no way of letting him know that I’m not ready for it to end. That feeling of being close to him, of supporting him, now especially, when his family is going through this, is so strong and yet I’m held immobile by a lack of information. I wish there was some way I could let him know that I’m thinking of him, that he’s on my mind a lot.

  I sigh at my phone again as if it will somehow figure out a way to contact Liam on its own.

  Seems hopeless. Dead ends whichever way I turn in a city where there are just too many turns I could take.

  But I’m not going to wait around sobbing over it, either. My life moves forward. Starting with the Coffee Hut. I have to let Stella know about the job, and since I’m doing a shift tonight anyway, I figure why not go a little early? It’s not like I have somewhere better to be anyway, and the extra money will help knock down my student loans.

  I slip my earbuds in and find my favorite playlist. It’s only a few blocks to the Coffee Hut, and the weather is still really great. The sun is shining, the day is good, with Liam aside, things are aligning for me finally, and it feels nice.

  I curl my lips into a smile that feels good on my face and nod at the next few people who pass me on the street. Music flows through my brain, amping me up and setting my thoughts adrift, away from all of the concerns I have, away from my student loans and my mother’s expectations.

  Today I got a job in my field. I impressed Paul Martin with my skill. Today I proved that hard work pays off even when you have to rely a little bit on timing and luck.

  If there’s one thing I know I’m really good at, it’s perseverance in the face of the greatest odds. A quality, I think, that will serve me well no matter what I put my mind to. And my mind, as always, is on Liam.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Liam

  The plan was to keep Maggie in the dark so that she was safe. It’s a plan that Detective Chandler and I agreed on at the resort. It’s a shitty plan, actually, because, for one, I didn’t give Maggie the choice and that’s just not cool, and for two, I’m really fucking miserable without her in my life.

  That was eight months ago. Eight long, torturous months. But the distance has been necessary. Very necessary.

  “Your brother has been moved to solitary,” Detective Chandler says.

  This is a courtesy call. We haven’t spoken more than two words since Shawn was arrested.

  I had a role to play, and Shawn needed to think I had no involvement in his arrest. I’ve been living in a constant state of anticipation, waiting for the shoe to drop, for someone to find out I was involved. But eight months later, he still has no idea.

  “What did he do?”

  I was at the prison a month ago to see Shawn. He didn’t look good then. I felt his desperation to find a way out. Those bars, when they close on you, they bring out this instinct to run, to fight, to get the hell out of there in whatever way possible. I know this feeling intimately because I was there not too long ago, because of him.

  Yes, I take some satisfaction that he’s getting what he deserves. Not only for what he did to me but for what he did to the women and children who were being trafficked on that Monday so many months ago. His cargo of humans who he brokered a deal on.

  “He tried to put a hit on Cormac.”

  I grunt. “Of course he did.” The last time I spoke with Shawn, his obsession with teaching Cormac a lesson was borderline manic. He hinted that he wanted me to go after Mac. I told him that a life sentence wasn’t the worst he’d be facing if he did any more plotting like that. “For how long?”

  “Right now, he’s in there for a month, but I was talking to the warden, and it’s possible they’ll move him to a separated unit afterward. He’s not playing nice with the others. Instigating shit. Better to isolate him probably.”

  That’ll kill him. Solitary alone will drive him over the edge. I have a hard time feeling any sympathy. The women and children he was trafficking were isolated. They were housed in shipping containers for months as they traveled to various destinations. Luckily, none of them were killed in the shoot out that happened when the police descended on Shawn’s deal all those months ago. Two of Shawn’s hired thugs had been killed. Cormac had been hit with ricochet, but it was nothing fatal. Thank fuck.

  They’d caught Shawn at the beginning of a budding crime plan. Moving humans had been too tempting of a venture for him to pass up, but he was a small player in that particular game. None of his associates could be linked to him, and there were no other arrests that came out of that take down
. Just Shawn, a few of his men, and Cormac. Some bad guys off the streets of Boston. I know Detective Chandler is gunning for bigger fish now.

  “Cormac is safe. He checks in once a month with his parole officer. Doing some community service stuff, paying his debt to society. Seems solid.”

  I haven’t talked to my brother. That’s part of the deal. No contact between him and the family, but I know he’s okay because he’s been accessing the off-shore account I set up for him. Not spending a ton, although it’s available. He’s living modestly…somewhere. After testifying against Shawn, he was given a new life, new identity, new past, present, and future. I miss him, but I know this is what’s good for him. Out of Shawn’s reach and staying out of trouble. Deep down, Cormac never was a bad guy. He just needed a reset on his life.

  “Thanks for letting me know.” I want to ask him about Maggie. I want to know how she’s doing.

  “How are things with you?” Chandler asks.

  This question catches me off guard, and I hesitate before I answer.

  “I’m okay.” And I am okay. I travel between my cottage and the family home, taking care of my father and my brother. Dad is doing better now that I’ve set him up with round-the-clock home care. Ronan has come a long way as well. A lot of that has to do with his nurse, Hailey. She’s tough on him, grueling in the physical therapy she’s making him do, but he needs it. Shawn’s beating gave Ronan brain trauma that makes some things really difficult. Hailey keeps him in line.

  There’s silence on the line, and I wonder if the detective hung up.

  “That’s good, son. Keeping out of trouble, right?”

  I laugh. “Always.”

  I’m done with the side of business that toes the line of the law. I’ve made enough money to last a lifetime and then some, and even though I’ve paid my debt to society for the moral crimes I have committed in the past, I feel like there’s things I can do to pay it forward. Maybe invest in some legit companies. Companies that do good for the world in some way. I bet Maggie could help me find some. Like usual, my brain stutters on the thought of her. I want to shove her to the back, forget, move on. But I can’t. No matter how hard I try. She’s invaded every part of me. When I smell vanilla, I think of her. When I touch something soft, I think of her. Some songs, the lyrics, they make me think of things I want to say to her.