Having You Is Never Enough

by E. L. Todd

  The maniacal gleam in his eyes shut me up. “I. Don’t. Like. This.”

  “I don’t either…”

  “I don’t want you to see him again. Period.” His arms were shaking by his sides.

  “I don’t want to either but—”

  “Did something happen last night?” he demanded. “Did he kiss you?”

  “I want to answer but I assume you’re going to cut me off,” I snapped.

  He growled. “I’m not in the mood for your attitude, Trinity.”

  I knew feeding Slade’s fire with my own wouldn’t help. “He didn’t kiss me.”

  “You looked pretty fucking cozy while he rubbed your feet.” His eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them.

  “Stop acting like a crazy, jealous boyfriend.”

  He took a deep breath like he was about to roar. “I am your boyfriend. And I will be jealous if I choose. I will be a fucking psychopath if I feel like it. You. Are. Mine.”

  I was winded by his heated words. “You’re my boyfriend?” That was something I didn’t think he could give me. I know he said he would try but I was still surprised the words flew out of his mouth. “I thought you didn’t do the girlfriend thing?”

  “Well, I changed my mind.” His hands were clenched into fists. “I didn’t like it when you saw Reid, and somehow I like this less. I don’t want you to see him anymore. I mean it. I’ll kill him, Trinity. I sweat to god I’ll do it.”

  “Okay, I won’t.”

  He released the air he was holding in his chest.

  “After tonight…”

  The aggression immediately returned. “No. And no means no.”

  “I have to go out with him at least once.”

  “Says who?” He was practically screaming.

  “Everyone will think it doesn’t make sense. Why would I blow him off?”

  “That’s right, because you have a crush on him.” He made a face like a bratty child.

  Skye must have brought that up. “I don’t feel that way anymore.”

  “I don’t give a shit. It’s one thing to go out with a guy that you couldn’t care less about it, but the fact you had a thing for him makes it unacceptable. How would you feel if I went out with an ex?”

  “I wouldn’t like it at all,” I said honestly. “But I can’t do anything about it now. I have to go out with him.”

  He gripped his skull and paced my living room.

  “Slade, it’ll be fine. Be calm.”

  “I don’t want him to touch you. And kissing out of the question.”

  “That’s fine.” I’d never seen him get this upset before.

  He stopped pacing and stared at the wall. His hand was fisted in his hair and he seemed lost in thought. Then he turned back to me. “Fuck this. Let’s just come clean and tell everyone. I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. If your father hunts me down, then I’ll deal with it.”

  “And you think that’s a better alternative than just me seeing him for a few hours?” I asked incredulously. “We both know we aren’t ready for that. What am I supposed to tell people? That we’re exclusive fuck buddies?”

  “That we are boyfriend and girlfriend,” he said firmly.

  “But that doesn’t mean this will go anywhere…”

  “Trinity, I said I would try,” he spat. “Give me more time. I can’t give you a house in the country and a picket fence right this damn second.”

  “I understand that.” I tried to stay calm so he would stay calm. “But I can’t take the heat and drama our confession will cause unless I know…this is a for sure thing.”

  “Nothing is certain,” he said darkly.

  “No…but some are more likely than others. I can’t look my dad in the eye and explain what this is unless I can tell him you’re giving me everything I want. Right now, I can’t. I know you’re frustrated and so am I. But that’s not the answer.”

  He sighed then fell on the couch. “You’re right…”

  I walked closer to him. “I’m always right.”

  A slight smile crept into his lips. He tried to hide it but it still came through. “I wouldn’t say that…”

  I moved into his lap then wrapped my arms around his neck. He immediately grabbed me and pulled me to his chest, just like he had a hundred times.

  “It’s just dinner,” I whispered. “Then it’ll be done.”

  “Eat fast.”

  “Well, I hardly eat so that will take even less time.”

  He leaned back into the couch and held me close to him. “Why do you have to be such a looker? Every guy at that party was staring at you like they had to have you. It’s damn annoying.” He clenched his jaw.

  “No one was staring at me.” That I knew of…

  He guffawed. “How are you so blind? I know you aren’t very bright, but damn.”

  “I’m not blind,” I argued.

  “You’re were the most beautiful woman in the room last night. Actually, you’re the most beautiful woman in every room. Every guy knows it.”

  Slade got sweeter and sweeter as time went on. “I appreciate the compliment but—”

  “Why do you think everyone assumes you want to be a model?”

  I shrugged. “I guess it’s a reasonable assumption.”

  He shook his head and rolled his eyes at the same time. “You’re a stupid girl.”

  I hit his arm. “Hey!”

  He smirked. “Was that supposed to hurt?”

  “Oh, I’ll hurt you if I really want to.”

  He leaned closer to me, his face pressed to mine. “Is that a threat?”

  For a second I forgot what we were talking about. His ridiculously handsome face and cocky smirk changed the course of my thoughts. His usual scent came into my nose and made me lightheaded. Whenever he was close to me, I was always love struck. Logic and reason fell out of my head like heavy bricks. “I could take you…”

  He chuckled. “With these bony arms and thin legs? Yeah right.”

  I pushed him to the couch and pinned him down. “Look who’s bony now?”

  He gave me that smirk I’d come to cherish. I saw it in my dreams and my waking moments. “You know I’m letting you win, right? I’m a gentleman.”

  “Ha, gentleman my ass.”

  His eyes narrowed then he flipped me over, moving on top of me. “If you aren’t going to appreciate it then I’m not going to bother.” He pressed my hands into the cushion and used his body to hold me down.

  I squirmed underneath him, trying to break free from his heavy mass. “God, you’re such a fatass.”

  “Fatass?” he asked incredulously. “I don’t think pounds of muscle qualify as fat.”

  “Whatever, fatty.”

  He growled at me. “Keep it up and I’m really going to make you pay.”

  “Ooh, I’m so scared,” I said sarcastically.

  One of his large hands grabbed both of my wrists then he held the other above my ribs. A threatening look came into his eye. “I hope you don’t have to pee.”

  The horror came into my thoughts. “Don’t you dare tickle me! You know how tickle-ish I am.”

  “Well, you should have thought about that before you called me a fatty.” He inched his hand closer. The anticipation was worse than the touch itself.

  “No!” I squirmed, trying to get away. “Don’t do it.”

  “This is how it has to be…”

  “No!”

  His fingers dug into my ribs and tickled me with no mercy.

  I laughed uncontrollably, trying to fight the sensation that set my body on fire. It made me seize up and flinch like I was having a seizure. Tears moved down my face while his fingers did his work. “Stop!” I tried to roll him off. “Stop.”

  “Never.” He kept going.

  “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.”

  “Nope, you aren’t going to get off that easily.” His hand moved to my stomach. “I want more than that.”

  “You aren’t a fatty!”

  “And
what am I?” He didn’t let up.

  “The sexiest and most handsome man I’ve ever seen!” I continued to roll under his touch.

  “And…?”

  “Amazing in bed.”

  “Good…good.” His hands were torturing me. “What else?”

  “And you have pretty eyes.”

  His hand stopped. “Pretty eyes? You can do better than that.” He tickled me again.

  “You have a huge dick!”

  He smirked. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

  “And you make me happier than I’ve ever been in my life!”

  His hand finally stopped. He looked down at me, the shadow moving into his eyes. They constricted slightly, showing an emotion that couldn’t be interpreted. He leaned over me and pressed his head to mine.

  Wordlessly, he lifted up my dress then pulled down his jeans. My panties were yanked off and he moved between my legs, positioning our bodies as close together as possible. His lips sought mine then he slipped inside me, moving slowly. One hand fisted my hair while he rocked me gently, taking his time and not rushing it.

  My hand moved up his shirt and felt the burn of his skin. My nails dug into him gently, leaving marks but not drawing blood. Quiet moans escaped my lips while he did incredible things to my lips and my body.

  He brushed his lips past mine then looked into my eyes as he continued to please me. Then he sealed his mouth over mine in another heated embrace. Taking his time, we moved together on the couch, clinging to each other like we were desperate for the touch.

  The relationship with Slade was completely different than it was when we first got together. Now the sex was slow and gentle, not maniacal and crazy. When he moved inside me, he always kissed me. His hands wrapped around me and squeezed me like he feared I’d slip away. Getting off didn’t seem to matter to him. The moment stretched between us, hurting both of us as much as it pleased us. It was indescribable. When I tried to understand our relationship, I couldn’t. It was a paradox. When I looked at Skye and Cayson, I realized our relationship was nothing like theirs. But that wasn’t a bad thing. While we were complicated, heated, and stubborn, there was so much underneath. There was passion, trust, and friendship. Our relationship wasn’t traditional, but that didn’t make it bad. If anything, the connection I had with Slade was stronger.

  I tried to pretend I wasn’t attached to him, that if he walked away it wouldn’t make me blink an eye. But I knew in my heart while he took me in the couch like he loved me that I would be devastated if he ever left.

  And I would never recover.

  ***

  “What are you getting?”

  When I woke up this morning, Slade made breakfast and put the tray on the nightstand. The smell of the eggs and bacon woke me up, and when I saw Slade’s face my heart ached. He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead…

  “Trinity?”

  “Huh?” My thoughts were shattered as I looked across the table at Scott.

  He cocked an eyebrow. “You alright?”

  “I’m sorry, my mind is elsewhere today…”

  “And where it is?”

  I just wanted to blurt that I’m seeing someone and this date was pointless but I couldn’t. I knew he would tell my brother. There was no doubt about it. “It’s for my fashion stuff…”

  He nodded then looked back at the menu. “Where are you getting? I’m getting the mushroom burger.”

  I looked through the items even though I wasn’t hungry. “The house salad looks good.”

  “A salad?” he asked incredulously. “I like my women to eat, not munch on rabbit food.”

  To avoid an argument about my eating preferences I said, “Avocado burger looks good.”

  “That’s better.”

  Slade never cared what I ate or didn’t eat. It was nice.

  “How are your classes going?” he asked.

  “They’re good,” I said vaguely. “But not very interesting. I’m not sure how Skye is so passionate about it.”

  “She wants to make money,” he blurted. “Some people are wired that way.”

  “I guess I’m not. I know I would be happy as long as I had a roof over my head, good friends, and health insurance. A little extra money for clothes would be nice too.”

  He studied my face. “You’re a really cool chick. Most girls are materialistic and superficial. You aren’t.”

  I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t.

  “Wow, what are the odds?”

  Scott and I both turned our heads.

  Slade stood at our table, looking excited to see us. “I was just getting some food and so are you.”

  I had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well.

  “I’ll just join you.” Slade slid into my booth and cornered me against the wall. “So, what are you guys getting?” He picked the menu and looked at it. He acted like this incredibly awkward situation was totally normal. “Hmm…the avocado burger looks good.”

  Scott eyed me with a raised eyebrow then turned back to Slade. “Hey, man. What’s going on?”

  “Just needed to get some grub. After a while Top Ramen starts to make me sick.”

  I wanted to cover my face and disappear.

  “Well, Trinity and I are on a—”

  “I heard the rowing team is heading to the play offs,” Slade interrupted.

  Scotty dropped his earlier sentence. “Yeah. If we win this, we’re the champions of the division.”

  “Cool,” Slade said. Then he talked to him about every aspect of the sport, cutting Scott off from me and hijacking the entire date. Scott didn’t seem to think it was odd and answered every one of Slade’s questions.

  I was relieved the date had been halted but I was also embarrassed. I can’t believe Slade came all the way down here just to make sure Scott didn’t touch me or make a move.

  The waitress came over and took our orders. When Slade ordered, Scott seemed to remember he shouldn’t be there. “Trinity and I are actually spending the evening—”

  “I’ll take the avocado burger,” Slade said to the waitress. “But no pickles. I hate pickles.”

  Scott sighed in annoyance.

  “I’ll have the same,” I said.

  Then Scott ordered his food, his mood dark.

  When the waitress walked away, Slade took the offense. “What classes are you taking?”

  Scott seemed to forget his annoyance again and launched into a story about his academic career.

  I rested my chin on my hand and tried not to fall asleep. It seemed like Slade and Scott were on a date and I was just a spectator. When the food arrived, I took small bites then pulled out my phone, trying to entertain myself while Slade asked him every question imaginable.

  “Tell me about your childhood,” Slade said while he ate.

  “My childhood?” Scott asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Yeah. Where did you grow up? Do you have any siblings? Start from the beginning. Tell me your earliest memory.”

  I covered my face as my cheeks reddened. Slade was doing everything he could to distract Scotty from me. And ironically, it was actually working.

  “Well, I remember having this toy plane…” Scotty eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

  “Awesome. What else?”

  “Uh…” Scott recounted every aspect of his childhood until the check arrived.

  This was the oddest date I’ve ever been on in my life.

  Slade put cash for both of us in the tab then realized his mistake and took some of the cash back. Scott paid for both of us.

  Slade turned to me. “Can you come by and tutor me in math? I have an exam tomorrow and I’ll pay you.”

  He didn’t have a math class. And he knew I sucked at math. “Uh…”

  “Well, we were going to go bowling…” Scott’s annoyance returned.

  “Come on, Trin. I really need you.” Slade wouldn’t budge.

  Scott sighed. “I guess we can go out another time…”

  “Sou
nds like a plan.” Slade stood up then looked at me. “Let’s go.”

  Slade was unbelievable. “Be at my house in five minutes.”

  Slade eyed Scott and me, clearly not thrilled about leaving us alone together. “You better not make me wait.” Then he left the restaurant.

  I turned back to Scotty. “Well, thanks for dinner…”

  Scott stared at the last place Slade had been. “I was just wondering…is Slade…you know…gay?”

  What?

  “It just seemed like he was really into me.”

  When I replayed their conversation in my mind I understood how Scotty came to that conclusion. “Uh…not that I know of. But maybe.” How else would I explain his behavior?

  He nodded. “I have a friend who’s gay. Maybe I can set something up.”

  I tried not to laugh. “I could ask him…”

  Scotty walked me out of the restaurant and to his car. Then he drove me back to my house. When we pulled up the sidewalk, Slade’s car was in the driveway. He must have hauled ass to get here so fast. He stood on the porch while he stared at us. He had a key to my place but he obviously wanted to make Scott as uncomfortable as possible so he wouldn’t try to kiss me.

  We left the car then stopped halfway on the lawn.

  “Well, I had a good time…for the most part.” Scott gave me a slight smile. “I’d like to go out again.”

  Okay…how do I get out of this?

  “Hurry, Trinity,” Slade called from the porch. “I don’t have all day.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “He’s a bossy, isn’t he?” He said it with a smile but it was obvious he was irritated.

  “He can get that way sometimes…”

  “So…how about we go bowling next weekend?” he pressed.

  “Uh…I’ll call you.” That was low but I couldn’t think of anything else.

  “Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” He moved in like he was going to kiss me.

  “I don’t have all day,” Slade barked.

  Scott halted then sighed. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye,” I said.

  Scott got into his car then drove away.

  I walked to the front door and looked at Slade. “What the hell was that?”

  “You’re welcome,” he snapped.

  “I could have handled him.”

  “Well, I did the dirty work for you.”