Goddess Choice

by A Lonergan

  I picked up a strand of Jessa’s hair and wrapped it around my fingers before I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 28

  Jessa

  I had the strangest dream. I had dreamt that Crawley and I had danced the night away while he drank himself silly. We had shared kisses and secrets before I awoke with a start.

  I was mostly startled because I felt like I had a tree laying across my lap. I groaned as I tried to roll over and realized the tree I had previously imagined was an arm. I tried not to squeal at the massively hairy, manly appendage but it was slowly working its way up my throat. I managed to get myself closer to the man before I smelled it. The scent of pine and something else, something more masculine. I couldn’t place it but it smelled good.

  “Will you stop wiggling around like that?” Crawley’s sleepy voice croaked out and dang it if it wasn’t sexy. “It’s making me uncomfortable.”

  I wiggled some more to give him some payback for just how uncomfortable I was. “Sorry about that.”

  “Ha, yeah, you sound sorry.” He removed his thick arm while he spoke and his delicious scent went with him.

  The sun hadn’t come up yet and I was in desperate need of a bath. I knew I smelled disgusting and couldn’t believe Crawley had slept so close to me without throwing up.

  I couldn’t smell myself just yet and I wanted to barf at the thought of the smell of myself. I pushed the sleeping bag to Crawley as I pulled a few twigs out of my hair.

  As I made my way to the stream behind the village, I came upon several of the female centaurs cleaning up, doing what looked to be laundry even though mostly everyone was naked, and some were preparing breakfast.

  When I got to the water’s edge, I shivered in delight at the thought of finally getting a bath. I hadn’t gotten to really wash up since Sibil had found me.

  I shimmied out of my clothes quickly and was just about to jump in, when a voice interrupted me. Clad in just a sports bra and panties I turned to the intruder. Magnese held up a basket to me. I raised an eyebrow in question.

  “It’s probably been awhile since you have felt at home, I know this is anywhere but... I would like to help you feel comfortable in any way possible. After long journeys, baths make me feel like a new Centauress. It’s incredible what a little soap can do.” She gave me a wide grin before setting the basket in my arms. The intimidating basket was bigger than I was.

  I sat it by my clothes and dug through it for a minute. There were several towels, what looked to be a shift dress and many different colored soaps and oils. Everything in the basket smelled divine. I grabbed a green bottle that smelled like pine and plain bar of soap.

  The water was cold but it soothed my aching muscles. I felt like I had scrubbed my skin off by the time I was finished. My arms were raw and red and I was sure the rest of my body matched. I felt better. I felt better than I had in a while and that was progress.

  I grabbed the extra-large plush towel off of the nearby rocks and wrapped it around my body 4 times. I returned the soap and the oil to the basket and toweled off as quickly as I could. I eyed the shift dress carefully. I knew the basket was a gift and I assumed the dress was for me but I wasn’t sure if it was the appropriate time to wear it. I threw caution to the wind and pulled it over my head. The thin material clung to my body like a second skin from the water still stuck to me. The dress fell just above my knees and floated around me as I spun in a circle.

  I felt human again, even though my unshaved legs called for my attention. I sighed. I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too. Though, I doubted anyone would really look or care, seeing as most of our company was extra smelly or extra hairy/ furry anyway.

  I broke a stick off the outside of the basket and used it to twist my hair onto my head. I needed to be somewhat presentable and my ratty, wet hair wasn’t going to do me any favors.

  As I made my way back to the village, I noticed more Centaurs out and about, getting more chores done. I was about to offer my help when Cent approached me. He held his hands out for the basket I carried and smiled gently as he took in my appearance.

  “You clean up nicely.” He hefted the large basket up on his shoulder, then grabbed my hand before tucking it into his elbow to lead me back to where I had come from.

  I was just about to protest when he spoke again, “My younger sister has a gift for you. She tried to meet you at the stream but was too late and just missed you.”

  I shook my head and tried to pull free from his grasp. “That really isn’t necessary.”

  “You would decline a princess’ gift?”

  He had me there. “No- no! Of course not!”

  He smiled at me again and put my hand back to the crook of his elbow to keep me on track. “It isn’t often we get visitors.” He got a faraway look. “Especially legends.”

  I snorted. “I am no such thing!”

  “Don’t be silly. They wanted to hear how I have valiantly escaped and saved everyone else and as much as I would have loved the glory, I couldn’t hide the most important detail.” He patted my hand.

  “Oh?”

  “The girl with golden skin and haunted eyes, whose blood freed us all.”

  There was no way I could form a response to that. I remember the day well but that didn’t mean I wanted to talk about it. I opened my mouth to think of a reply and was saved by a Centauress sitting on the banks of the stream, grinning like she had won the lottery.

  She wildly waved me over, hopping up and down on the boulder she sat on. “Queen Jessa! Queen Jessa!”

  Laughter spilled from my lips. “I am anything but. You are the royalty here and I hear you have a gift for me?”

  The centauress’ blue eyes lit up. She whipped a small basket from behind her back and held it up. “Your pampering isn’t over yet!”

  “What do you have in mind?” A smile stretched across my face at her excitement and glee. It was indeed infectious.

  She patted the boulder in front of her for me to sit on and squealed like it was the best day ever! “My name is Prima but please call me Prim. I’m going to do your hair for the festivities today!”

  “Festivities?” I asked as I took a seat next to her.

  “Oh yes! The elders will make their final decisions today on whether or not our men will follow you to war.”

  She pulled my hair free from the twig and got to work as I thought on her words. “Prim, I don’t think it will be that big of a war.”

  “War is war.” Her words sunk in as she started to pull my hair this way and that, occasionally twisting different things into it that I couldn’t see. Finally, she handed me a handheld mirror to see her handy work.

  Prim had created a master piece. Circling my head was a crown braid that had flowers and little gold twigs intertwined in it. It was regal and the most beautiful way I had ever had my hair styled. I touched it tenderly and turned to hug her tightly.

  “Thank you. It’s magnificent.”

  Crawley sat to my left and the king and queen sat to my right. I wasn’t entirely sure I belonged. In my shift gown and my hair plaited, I felt like someone different. I felt renewed.

  Cent stood behind us. He was everything that I imagined a warrior to be. His body was covered in war paint and he was holding a spear, decorated in small bones and colorful fabrics.

  His face was stoic and his body was taut. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know centaur culture and I doubted many people did.

  Drums sounded and a group of human women came forward. Their eyes were glazed over white and their hair hung around their shoulders in dirty tangled masses.

  “Hello, Queen Jessa.” They spoke in unison. “We are the elders.”

  My expectations hadn’t been high but this was something I hadn’t expected at all. I had expected men or maybe Centaurs, but not mortal women that appeared insane.

  Their clothes were in tatters, hanging from their emaciated, translucent bodies. They twitched forward and resembled something from a horror movi
e. Their hands reached for me as they moved as one.

  “I’m no queen. You have me mistaken.” I wanted to laugh but knew my place. I didn’t want my face eaten off.

  “Make no mistake when you work for The Fates.” Their cackling laughter sent chills up my spine. “We see far and wide and you are the future. You will be queen. You shall set them free.” They spread their arms wide and gave me an even bigger smile.

  I knew better than to disagree with them again. I looked to their bare feet and nodded my head in submission.

  Centaurus lifted his hand and his face became serious. “Thank you, Elders, that is not what you are here to discuss.”

  “Centaurus the first Centaur. Regal king. Bastard king.” They cackled again. “To war or not to war? To fight or flight? We see many things, Centaurus. But we do not make your choices for your people. You are powerful creatures this is for certain but are you necessary in the food chain?”

  I watched Centaurus out of the corner of my eye. His chest puffed up high and he sneered at the women before us but before he could speak, one of the women broke away.

  “Power is mighty but what you will fight for will be much greater than that. If you choose to fight, many will be lost but many will be found. If you do not, you will lose more and more until your vast numbers aren’t so vast anymore. There is death at both doors.” She shrunk back into her clones as they scurried away. They had said their peace.

  Quietness coated the creatures around me. I looked from my high point and observed the faces before me. The centaurs front and center with their colorful war paint and weapons and the children decked out in flowers and greenery. The cyclops lingered behind them, looking uncertain but fierce and the Unicorns mixed in everywhere, not having a specific place- in the community and the world.

  Centaurus turned to me and held his hand out. “We must speak.”

  Crawley rose to come with and Cent jabbed his spear forward. “She is to go alone.”

  Crawley rose eyebrow and looked to me. I gave him a small smile and pointed to his seat. I was more than capable of handling my own.

  We walked for several minutes until he parted the branches of a massive weeping willow. Hidden from the world sat a stone bench. He motioned for me to sit and he folded himself down onto the mossy floor.

  “We have many.” He gulped. “We had many more. The hunters come in the night and steal our children. I dread the day that I awake to find my Prim gone. She is such a bright light in such a dark, dreary world.” His eyes brimmed with tears as he paused. “I’m tired of hearing my people scream when the sun rises and I’m saddened that this was the first festival we have had in many moons.”

  “You shouldn’t have to go through that.” I looked to my bare feet. “No one should.”

  “There is no hope. No laughter. Just pain. Silence. Mourning.” He wiped away stray tears. “You are their hope. We will fight for our people because you have given them something I haven’t been able to.”

  He rose up from the ground and took my hand in his, pulling me to stand beside him. “I would be honored to fight by your side.”

  When we returned, the party was in full swing. Music was playing and the children were laughing. After what Centaurus had told me, I could see it. I could see the strained worried faces of the parents but I could see the joy that this new found hope had brought them. Crawley was leaning against a tree watching carefully, almost waiting for a threat. He didn’t seem to be enjoying himself. Cristoff was drinking at a table full of different fruits and cheeses and the Unicorns disappeared.

  The cyclops observed the celebration and ate food gingerly, almost prudent. Prim was among the children, dancing and laughing and Cent stood on the outskirts watching. I could feel Crawley’s eyes on me as I walked to Cent.

  His face lit up as I made my way to him. “Jessa, how was the talk with my father?” His face was more relaxed but his tone was cautious. Calculating.

  “It put things into perspective.” I pulled at the right plaiting around my forehead, nervously. “I didn’t realize so many were taken.”

  “It’s how I was taken.” He speared the ground and drew lazily in the dirt. “I never told my father but I was protecting Prim. I knew they would come for her. The kings only daughter to his true mate. I laid in wait and thought I could take them on, all of them and I was out numbered. They didn’t care to search for Prim after they had the prince.”

  “But what would they want with you?”

  “Experiments. Our treasures. Our knowledge. Information on the rest of our people.” He shrugged. “Could be a number of things. They wanted me for information on the rest of the Centaur colonies.”

  My jaw dropped. “There are more of you?”

  “No this is it. After I was taken, my father had all the colonies unit together.” he said.

  “Strength in numbers.” I said.

  Cent nodded but before he could speak, Crawley put his palm on my lower back and whispered in my ear. “I hear a song playing for just the two of us.”

  I thrust my elbow back and caught him in the ribs. “Watch who you sneak up on.” I rolled my eyes at Cent and smiled at him. “Thank you for trusting me, I better take care of this one now. Seems like he’s had too much wine.”

  Cent narrowed his eyes at Crawley before trotting away.

  He rubbed his ribs. “What was that for?”

  “Sneaking up on me.” I blinked my eyelashes, innocently.

  “Sure.” He rolled his eye. “What’s with that guy?”

  Confusion covered my face, I was sure of it. “What are you talking about?”

  “I don’t like the way he looks at you.” Butterflies ignited in my stomach at the jealous tone of his voice. I tried to shake off the gods influence but was having a hard time with the look he was giving me.

  “You don’t own me.” I scoffed.

  “But what if I wanted you?” His words made my mouth go dry.

  “That would be the gods toying with your emotions.” I licked my lips nervously.

  “What if I told you it wasn’t?” He leaned in closely.

  “What if I told you that you were crazy? Because we already know it’s them and their influence.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me further into the woods as I spoke.

  “I would say I’m not crazy because I know something you don’t.” His voice taunted me like we were children.

  He pulled me into a grouping of weeping willow trees, much like the ones Centaurus had brought me to.

  “Hmm, I might not believe you.”

  He leaned in close and planted a kiss to my temple then worked his way down to my lips. A slow dark, heat coated my insides and I didn’t want it to stop.

  When he got to my lips, he lingered there before pushing his hands to my hair and claiming my mouth completely. A whimper escaped my lips and I was a goner. Everything about him surrounded me. The scent of pine was everywhere and it had my senses in over drive. He backed me up to a tree and his hands slid up my waist.

  It was driving me insane being this close to him. It was good, it was too good.

  I tore my mouth away from his at the thought. My breathing was labored and Crawley's pupils were dangerous.

  He gave me a concerned look, “What is it? What did I do?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. Everything. I shouldn’t feel this way. I hate this. I hate knowing that this isn’t real and that this is all just a ploy.”

  Crawley cupped my face and stared into my eyes. “It’s real.”

  I yanked myself from his hands. “How would you know?”

  “Sibil and Cristoff told me that these woods are protected. That’s why the hunters come and not the gods. They have no power here, by Zeus’ authority.”

  I shook my head and tried to think over the last few days. I tried to piece everything together but it was just one more thing. One more thing I had to second guess. One more thing to keep up with.

  “I’m not asking you to feel or to make decisions righ
t now. Just be here with me as Jessa, a normal girl.”

  I laughed at his words. Normal? Anything but.

  “Pretend.” He whispered as he got closer to me once again and I did. As his lips brushed mine, I tried to forget. Tried to be someone else, in another world. Another time. Just a normal girl with feelings she didn’t understand.

  Chapter 29

  Crawley

  The creatures around me created a riot. They were ready, even if we weren’t. The Cyclops chests huffed and puffed as they beat their clubs on the ground. The unicorn’s horns were bright and shiny like they had been sharpening them all night. The Centaurs kissed their children and their loved ones as they strapped weapons to their backs.

  Jessa looked to me out the corner of her eye and for the first time, I saw fear there. I watched everyone else preparing and knew it was our time now. I slid my hand over hers and pulled her away from the crowd. Sibil and Cristoff watched us go but I didn’t care anymore. Her life depended on it, even if mine didn’t.

  Her eyes were wide as she gazed at me. “What are you doing? Last night can’t happen again. I need to be focused.”

  Disappointment filled my gut but I didn’t let it show on my face. Her kisses would fuel me even if I were in the underworld. I cupped her face and shook my head.

  “That’s not why I pulled you aside.” I brushes the pad of my thumb across her cheek bone. “You’re afraid.”

  She scoffed. “I’m fine.”

  “You can lie all you want but I can smell your fear in the air and I’m sure others can as well.” Her confidence fell at my words.

  “What do I do?” She whispered.

  “That’s not for me to decide. I can’t tell you how to lead these creatures. I can’t tell you how to march to victory. I do know this though, I heard the elders. I heard their promises. You shall be Queen and The Fates have whispered your name. You aren’t going anywhere. The Fates have you right where you are needed.” Her back straightened as she listened to me intently.