by Charity B.
He takes my hand and we go back into my room. Toben slumps into his cage with a sigh of relief as he sees me. Logan orders me to sit on the bed while he lets Toben out of his cage. He gives him a towel, a stack of clothes, and a toothbrush.
“Go get cleaned up. Make sure to get the brand. Be gentle with it.”
When Toben passes by, I see that he has a Lotus on his shoulder, just like mine…why didn’t he tell me? He gives me an uneasy glance while obeying Logan.
While he’s in the bathroom, Logan cleans the wet spot in the closet before returning to the bed. He removes Toben’s backpack, all of the blankets, and the sheets, when our dolls fall from the bloody fabric. Leaning down, he picks them up and I want to yell for him to leave them alone, but I get scared. A squeak gets out before I can stop it and he flips his eyes to me, then back to the dolls. I want to cry with joy when he hands them to me.
“Thank you.”
“You are welcome, Lotus.”
I shove them in my drawer while he empties all the bags on my bed. Boy and girl clothes, along with towels, underwear, socks and shoes, all fall from the bags. There are also new sheets and blankets that are pale cream and yellow. He tells me to make the bed while he puts away our clothes.
Toben is quick, and within a few short minutes, he’s walking out of the bathroom in jeans and a baby blue T-shirt. He always wears long sleeves. I think he looks nice in that shirt.
“Toben, come here and sit on the floor.” Logan sits on the bed next to me while Toben obeys and hugs his knees. Taking a deep breath and removing the towel from my head, Logan speaks gently. “You no longer have the freedom to leave this room.” I feel his hands gather my hair as he begins to comb through the strands. “You will receive everything you need to survive and I expect you both to keep clean. Next week, I’ll bring down a washer and dryer. You will then be responsible for washing your own clothes.” He’s careful not to pull while he brushes my hair. His steady speaking is somehow calming when it had nearly caused my heart to blow up not that long ago. “You need to understand that you will never see your parents again because they are no longer your parents. They sold that right to me.” He finishes brushing my hair and he stands up to light a cigarette. “The best way to think of this relationship, is to imagine yourselves equivalent to one of my planes or yachts. I will maintain you and play with you, ultimately though, you are nothing more than toys.”
Just then, the door to the basement opens and Kyle comes down the stairs just far enough to see Logan. “The fridge is here.” Logan nods before following him up the stairs.
I smile at Toben. “Do you like my dress?”
From the look on his face, I don’t think he does. “Did you hear what he just said?!”
Of course I did, what a silly question. “Yes. He’s going to take care of us.”
I’m worried he’s going to cry, as his eyebrows knit together. “Tavin! What do you think he means by play? He will do what he did to you yesterday, over and over!”
I shake my head. “Not if we do what he asks.”
I’m making him angry. I can tell by the way he clenches his jaw and scrunches his eyebrows.
“We did what he asked yesterday! This is very bad. He’s worse than both of our parents combined!”
“Why are you yelling at me? I can’t change it! At least now I will have food and be clean. Besides, he’s being nice today.”
He stands up and bunches up his fists as he leans toward me. “How can you not see the severity of this? All because he gave you a new dress?!”
Now I feel guilty for thinking I am pretty in it. I guess I’m not supposed to like it. I’m not sad that I won’t see Daddy again. I maybe am a little bit sad that I won’t see Mommy, though. I will miss being able to go outside, but I have only been doing that for a few months. Maybe if I am good, stay clean, and do everything he asks, then he won’t do that stuff to me.
“No! Because I have clean clothes and clean skin at the same time, for the first time. Ever. Because they are bringing in a refrigerator. Refrigerators mean food. Food that I can eat whenever I get hungry. Because he is being nice to me today! Daddy is NEVER nice to me!” I am screaming and it’s hurting my throat. I don’t even know why I’m yelling at him. He’s right. I am scared that Logan will do that again, it’s just, he isn’t doing anything bad right now so I want to enjoy it.
Toben holds out his hands and I take them before he sighs and sits next to me.
“Tavin I-”
He is interrupted by a loud scraping noise by my window. We glance at each other before running to see what’s causing the scratchy sound. The sun shines through as Kyle and Logan move a large piece of wood from the well opening. Kyle lowers down a ladder for Logan to climb down and open the window. Kyle lowers a small refrigerator to Logan, before climbing down himself. They lift and carry the little appliance to the wall, opposite my bed, and plug it in. When they climb back out, Logan removes the ladder, but doesn’t close the window or cover up the well. I can hear their voices, I just can’t make out what they’re saying, as they trail off, getting further away.
I climb up into the well and so does Toben, even though we’ll never be able to get out without something to climb on. We sit and face each other as the sunrays shine down on us. It isn’t long before we hear them coming back down the stairs. They are both carrying a bunch of grocery bags, and I climb back into my room as they unload them. I wasn’t aware of my hunger until watching them put away juice, cheese, and grapes. They have chips, bread, cereal, applesauce, and so much more. I lurch toward the food. I’m not going for any item in particular, but before I can get there, Kyle takes ahold of me. He bends my finger back toward my wrist and the tearing sensation is so intense that I’m scared it’s going to rip apart from my hand and I cry out.
“Kyle, it’s Acclimation Day. Leave her be,” Logan murmurs as he lights another cigarette.
“Acclimation Day.” Kyle shakes his head and grumbles, “Fucking ridiculous.” He gives me one final push before he releases me, and quickly grips my wrist as he whispers, “You should be thanking God you aren’t mine. I would be de-fleshing each one of these grabby, little fingers right now.”
“Kyle!” Logan barks, as he walks over to us.
Kyle tosses my hand towards my chest and I back up to Toben.
After all the food is put away, he and Logan speak in hushed tones for a few minutes. Finally, Kyle leaves as Logan’s gaze shifts back to us.
“Go on, you can eat.”
That’s all I need to hear. There are plastic cups with paper plates and I fill them quickly before I sit on my bed. Toben is hesitant until he sees me piling grapes into my mouth, which is already full of peanut butter and jelly, so he gets some too.
Logan leans against the bed as we eat.
“There’s plenty of food for the both of you, to last the week, just be sure you don’t go through it too quickly, because you won’t be getting anymore until our next playdate.”
“Mr. James?” Toben’s scratchy voice comes out, while he sits beside me.
“Call me Logan. You are not my employees or my associates. You are my possessions. Which brings up an important point: whenever you address me, you are to use my name.”
“How long are you going to keep us here, Logan?” Toben sounds like he isn’t scared, even though his hand is shaking next to mine.
“For as long as you are fun.”
“Wow. You really are a psychotic fuck,” my heart jumps into my throat and I glare at Toben as he adds his name with petulance, “Logan.”
Please stop talking.
Logan’s fingers are clutching the wire footboard of my bed when he hunches his shoulders for momentum and pushes off the frame. He towers over Toben.
“You can’t say I didn’t try.”
Logan’s eyes blaze to mine as he grabs my ankle and pulls me so I’m dangling half way off the bed. Fingers fly to the buckle of his belt. NO! I try to pull away and scramble to the other sid
e, as his big hand covers half of my leg. He’s holding on too tight for me to get free.
“No! Please, Logan! You promised!”
Tears gush and I instantly feel sweaty. I’m scared my heart might blow up, it’s beating too fast. He can hit me and cut me all he wants, but please! I don’t want that ever again. How do I get him to stop?! He takes my face and jerks my head to look at Toben.
“This is his fault,” he bellows.
Toben’s head shakes frantically.
“I’m sorry, Logan! I’m sorry, please don’t.”
This is going to hurt so bad. I’m still sore and my thighs are already bruised from yesterday. He pushes up my pretty dress while I scream and fight to get away from him.
“Hold her down!” Logan barks.
I fight as hard as I can before I feel Toben’s clammy hands on my arms.
No, no, no.
Toben is about to cry when he begs, “Please, Logan. I made a mistake, please just punish me instead of her.”
Logan’s golden eyes are terrifying when he releases me. Dragging Toben off the bed to the floor, he pushes his shoe against Toben’s chest and slams him against the concrete.
He’s getting hurt because of me! If I try to stop Logan, then he will have sex with me again, and that thought scares me so bad I can’t move.
Logan’s eyes are scanning my room.
“I didn’t expect to need my tools today. Now I have to get creative.” He cocks his head and all irritation evaporates from his tone, when his gaze lands on a broom. “That will do.” He pulls Toben up by his shirt so that he’s on his knees. “Take off your shirt and put your hands behind your head.”
He walks to the far wall, and I’m still frozen. All I can see is Toben’s back so I have no idea if he is scared or angry at me.
“Tavin, look at me.”
My head snaps up in obedience. Logan is already back. If I do what he says, things will be better.
“This is a one-time favor because it’s Acclimation Day. From this moment on, if either of you disobey or disrespect me, the other will pay the price.” Rolling his neck and shoulders he continues, “Never forget, my playthings: it can always get worse.”
With that, he holds the end closest to the bristles while he swings the handle against Toben’s back and it arches from the force. Howling in pain, he falls forward. My tears fall uncontrollably, and still I stay in my place.
“Get up!” He assaults his body twice more until Toben is struggling to get himself off the floor. I’m a horrible friend. How can I even call myself his friend when I just let him get beaten and all I did was watch? I nearly jump off the bed when Logan’s voice thunders, “Get in the cage.”
My heart falls apart like petals from a rose as I watch Toben try to drag himself to the wire box. He keeps falling and I am finally able to lift myself off the bed. At the very least, I can help him into the cage.
“Toben, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. My apology does nothing to help his battered back.
“What do you think you’re doing, little Lotus?” Logan asks with raised eyebrows. The slight upturn of his lips, along with the amusement in his voice, leaves me unsure.
“He needs help.” My voice is so small.
He waves his hand to proceed as he lights another cigarette. “It’s Acclimation Day.”
I’m trying to be careful, while Toben keeps gasping in pain. Finally, I help him inside his jail and Logan kneels beside me to lock it. The smoke is burning my eyes when I feel Logan’s hand around mine pulling me up.
“Finish your food.” When he releases me, I go to my bed. “If you both simply accept your fates, you will realize it’s not as bad as you think. In fact, you may even find yourselves grateful for the things I do for you.” Toben lets out a groan and Logan ignores it. “Once a week, I will bring you supplies, we will play, and if you are good, you will get your treat.”
He pulls a small box out of the last bag and hands it to me. Then, reaching into his pocket, he takes out a cell phone and flips it open. “All you have to do is press this button,” he shows me the one with a little green phone on it, “and it will call me.” He holds my chin hard to make sure I look at him. “Do not ever call unless it is an emergency. Do you understand?”
I shake my head yes, and then remember he wants a verbal answer.
“Yes, Logan.”
“Good.” He nods and places the phone on the nightstand. “Welcome to your new lives, my playthings.” Then, just like that, he turns to leave.
“Wait!” Toben yells and rattles his cage. “You can’t leave me in here for a week!”
Logan tilts his head and laughs. “You aren’t the brightest star in the sky, are you?” He straightens and all traces of his smile disappear. “I can do whatever I want. I. Own. You.”
Neither one of us say a word or move a muscle as we listen to him climb the stairs. As soon as I hear the lock click, his words ring through my head.
Welcome to your new lives, my playthings.
A DARK SHADOW OF UNDERSTANDING soaks into my pores. He’s so much worse than simply evil…he’s insane. Certifiable. My father sold me to a psychopathic child rapist. I keep thinking I’m dreaming because of too many nights watching Unsolved Mysteries, yet the nightmare refuses to end.
I wonder how much I went for. Knowing my father, he probably paid Logan to take me.
Logan gives me the impression that he thinks what he’s doing is acceptable, even normal. Then Tavin, oh my sweet Tavin, she’s the perfect prey for this sicko. She’s so starved for basic needs and affection that she eats up his crap. I wanted to vomit at the way he held her hand, regarding her as a loving father would, within hours of slicing her up and taking her innocence. As if she can sense me thinking of her, she’s next to the cage with her fingers grasping the wire.
Tears are in her eyes as her head jerks. “I just let you take a beating for me. I’m sorry! I got scared, I thought if I did anything, he would…”
Her gaze shifts to the floor. Damn it. I can’t hold her and I’m supposed to be the one to do that. Be the one she leans on. I can’t give her what she needs because I’m in this GODDAMN CAGE!
“That was what I wanted, Tav. I would have been pissed if you would have done anything other than what you did. We need to focus on staying alive and keeping him off of you as much as we can. I need you to promise me that.”
“You can’t say things like you did, to him. He wasn’t going to hurt us today, and maybe you could have been spending the week with me. Out here.”
She’s right, I should have kept my mouth shut.
“I know, but you see it, right? Tell me you know he’s crazy.”
“All adults are crazy.”
She spouts it like it is the oldest known fact of all time. I surprise myself when a deep laugh bursts from my mouth, instantly feeling it in my back and I suck in air. “You’ve got that right.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Come on, Tav, my dad was a boxer in high school. It’ll take more than a broom to do any real damage.” I wink at her, trying to add some light to our dreary new world.
She stands up, picks up the box from Logan, and sits down next to the cage so I can see. When she opens it, I am surprised to see it’s an actual treat. It’s a large cupcake with pink frosting and little blue hard candies sprinkled on top.
She gasps, “Oh! It’s so pretty I almost don’t want to eat it.”
She barely gets the word ‘it’ out of her mouth before she takes a big-ass bite.
I snort, “Not that pretty, apparently.”
“I ted ah mos.”
I laugh again and even though it physically hurts, it warms by body with a much-needed moment of normal. When she swallows her bite, she holds it out to me.
“Do you want some?
I don’t want anything from that possessed pedophile, even though at this point, everything is from him. I didn’t finish my food and the cupcake does look delicious…
“Sur
e, I’ll have a piece.” She breaks off a chunk that has hard candy on it. I snort at the fact that his twisted sickness knows no bounds, not even the cliché ones. I shake my head at the cupcake. “He’s a child molester that gives us actual candy. I wonder if his rape van is an ice cream truck.”
I laugh at my little joke as Tavin’s eyes widen with her mouth full of her sugary snack. When she swallows, her excitement is apparent. “You think he has an ice cream truck?!”
That’s what she picks up from my statement: the damn ice cream truck.
“No—God, Tav-do you know what rape means?” She shakes her head as she licks her fingers. “It’s forcing someone to have sex that doesn’t want to. That’s what they did, they raped you.”
Her eyes fill up with tears and she pushes herself off the ground. She’s moving much easier now.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” she sobs.
Damn it. I made her cry. I should be the one person who doesn’t do that. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you, you just seem to think he is an okay guy. He isn’t. He’s bad. Very, very bad.”
“Aren’t they all? You are the only person who has ever been nice to me, but today, there were times Logan was nice to me too!”
Even though I tried, I know there were days I wasn’t able to come over and she probably didn’t eat those days. While I made the effort to wash the dresses she had, I didn’t do that as much as I could have either. I want to be understanding, I just don’t see how she can just overlook him brutally abusing her, for a few moments of kindness and some clean clothes.
“He will keep doing it, Tavin. Do you understand that? No matter what we say, no matter what we do, he will play.” I use his term hoping it will help things sink in, that the worst isn’t over. It’s just beginning.
She exhales and looks to the ceiling as her teary voice whispers, “Do you think my parents are up there?”
“I don’t know, but I’ve wondered, too.”
This whole situation is surreal. I mean, how did he happen to find the two parents who hated their children so much that they would sell them to a monster? Not to mention, he’s keeping us in her house. Wouldn’t he take us to some cabin in the woods or something? What’s the end game? That’s the biggest question of all. What happens when this is all over?