And then, of course, later tonight, there would be fireworks.
He’d been hoping to experience one of his favorite parts about Columbine Springs with Leah and the boys. But since that day in the café a few weeks ago, she hadn’t spoken to him nor had she returned his calls or texts. He could take a hint. In her mind, he’d done the unforgivable, even though his heart had been in the right place.
Which was why he’d volunteered to work the whole day so the other employees could enjoy the time with their families. As the new guy, it seemed only fair, but, selfishly, he was glad that he wouldn’t be running into Leah and her boys. They deserved to have a nice time today, not be reminded of something painful.
He wished he knew how Dylan had taken things. Was the little boy okay? Did he miss Shane the way Shane missed him? For all his intentions of not getting attached and reminding himself that Dylan was not his son, he still missed that little rascal and his brother like crazy.
As he lifted the last bag of feed from the cart he’d brought out from back, the front door jangled. He pulled off his gloves and stuffed them in his back pocket, then went to greet the customer.
Leah.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
Leah let out a long sigh. “Dylan and his friend Joshua from Sunday school accidentally knocked over Miss Margaret’s rabbit cage, with her prized rabbit inside, and broke the water bottle. I thought I’d run in here to see if I could find a replacement. It was an accident. They were playing soccer and missed.”
She gave a tiny laugh. “But I guess it’s okay, because the guy in charge of the youth soccer program saw them playing and gave me information about signing up. It’ll be good to get him involved in something.”
He didn’t know what to say, with so much information being thrown at him at once. He hadn’t expected an update on Dylan. Nice to hear the situation at church had worked out and that Dylan was making friends. Shane had been sneaking in late to church and skipping out early so he wouldn’t run into Leah.
“Sounds like he’s really starting to fit in,” Shane said.
Leah nodded. “He is. And even though I’m still mad at you, I suppose I should thank you for all the doors you’ve opened for us and for giving him more self-confidence and self-worth. Just because you did one awful thing to me doesn’t make you completely evil.”
Wow. She really wasn’t going to let it go, was she?
Then she shook her head. “But that’s not what I’m here for, though it was nice to get it off my chest. I’m doing a lot of work on my relationship with God, and as part of that, I’m trying really hard to forgive you. I know it’s not the same, but I hope it counts for something.”
He didn’t even know how to respond. Fortunately, as he opened his mouth, hoping intelligent words came out, she shook her head.
“Don’t. This isn’t about you. It’s about me being right with God. I can still be right with God and not be your friend. Because I don’t think that will ever happen.”
She looked around the feed store, then back at him. “This place is really empty. You wouldn’t happen to know who works here so I can get them to help me find this rabbit-water-bottle thing I need.”
He smiled as he reached for the apron he’d tossed on one of the shelves because it was getting caught on the feed display. “You’re looking at him. The rabbit stuff is over here. I know what you need.”
She didn’t say anything as he led her to the correct area. But when they got there, she asked, “Why are you working here? Don’t you have enough to do with your ranch?”
He’d promised himself not to tell her how much it had cost him to take on the cows. They were getting better now, gaining weight and showing signs of being healthy. But such news would be a sore spot for her. She’d probably see it as proof that she could have done it. But he couldn’t have, not without the help of his friends and the employee discount by working here. And, of course, the extra money he made by taking on this job.
“It’s a long story,” he said. “But it’s a good job, and I’m happy to have it.”
She nodded slowly, like she was remembering that she’d once applied for this job. One more thing for her to hold against him, he supposed.
“I don’t know how you do it,” she said finally. “You needed my help, running a ranch. And with the extra cows, no wonder I haven’t seen you around.”
“I’ve been busy for sure.” He grabbed the water bottle Leah needed and handed it to her. “This should do the trick. Miss Margaret bought one like this last week.”
He was trying not to dwell on the fact that she’d noticed he hadn’t been around. If she’d wanted to talk to him, she could have returned his calls.
He rang up the purchase and she left without further conversation. They’d said everything they had to. He wished it didn’t hurt so much to see her again. Every day, he prayed for God to help him get over the pain. But, so far, his prayer hadn’t been answered. Today’s encounter made it feel fresh.
A short while later, Fred entered the store. “Take the rest of the day off,” he said. “Gloria is tired of the heat, and she went home to rest. It’s a shame for you to miss the festivities, and since I’ve had my fill, you go.”
He’d have liked to argue, but Fred’s expression made it clear he wouldn’t hear it.
He didn’t have the heart to tell Fred that he preferred working over running into Leah, who was probably having the time of her life.
Maybe he had hurt her, but at least Helen’s dreams for the girls were coming true. They were settling in and making a home here in Columbine Springs.
“I ran into that lady friend of yours,” Fred said. “I told her I felt bad for hiring you instead of her, but I needed someone who could be more flexible with their hours. I didn’t want her thinking this was one more thing you’d stolen from her.”
Great. Now he really didn’t want to have to go to the town celebration.
“What did she say?”
Fred shrugged. “She’s okay with it. After seeing you fight with her in the café, I figured she must be a little on the stupid side, but talking to her, she didn’t seem so bad. The key with a woman like her is to not get her all riled up. You wouldn’t know it to look at her, but my Gloria is the same way. Smart as a whip, gentle as a dove, but boy, if you make her mad, you’d better watch out.”
“That sounds like Leah,” Shane said. “I truly am sorry for hurting her, but I don’t think she’s ready to hear it. She told me as much when she was in here earlier.”
The sage expression on Fred’s face made him smile. “Sometimes you have to work out a good mad. You have to feel it before you can let it go. That’s the trouble with most people these days. They pretend they’re not mad, but it hangs around them like a weight they can’t get rid of. Forgiveness is good, but it doesn’t mean anything unless you’ve worked through the emotion first.”
He’d have liked to take the older man’s words as a sign that they could work things out. And maybe they still could. But he wasn’t sure how. The more he thought about her words, the more he’d realized he had done her a great disservice. Her and her sisters. He should have talked to them. He shouldn’t have put Leah in the position of convincing them of something she wasn’t sure of herself. He should’ve gone to them and educated everyone on the situation.
At least then, he wouldn’t have been stuck with a herd of cattle he wouldn’t be able to sell for a while. It was an expensive mistake, both to his wallet and his heart.
Maybe someday he and Leah could talk about it.
“Now, get on with you,” Fred said. “They’re grilling burgers to raise money for the fire department, and I know how you like to support them. That, and Old Joe’s grilling, and you’re one of the few people who will eat those hockey pucks of his.”
Shane chuckled. It was always good to be reminded of the things
he loved about this community. In time, his wounds would heal and he wouldn’t dread going out so much. He used to think that Gina leaving town was the worst way to end a relationship. But now, he wasn’t so sure.
Seeing Leah today had been hard. Seeing the boys would be even more so. Would they be allowed to talk to him? Would it be all right for him to say hi? He didn’t know. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to. With Natalie, he could just pray for her and hope she was all right, but with the boys he could see for himself from time to time that they were. Not that he had any doubt of that fact. Leah was a good mother, and her sons would always be fine.
He left the feed store and walked the few short blocks to Columbine Springs Park. Nestled along the bank of Rock Creek, the park was bustling with activity. Folks from all over came for the Fourth of July celebration, not just locals. Food trucks were parked along the side of the road, and he spied a number of new ones. He followed the path down to where the firemen had their annual cookout to raise money to help keep the fire department going. As promised, Old Joe was manning the grill.
“It’s about time you showed that ugly mug of yours around here,” Old Joe said. “Come get yourself a plate. For most people, it’s all-you-can-eat for five dollars, but I know how you eat, so you can give me ten.”
The older man’s good-natured ribbing made him smile and eased some of the tension he’d been carrying. It was well past lunch time, which meant Leah and her boys had probably already eaten. And, since they didn’t realize how important the firefighters’ fund-raiser was, they’d probably opted for one of the food trucks, which most likely reminded them of home.
But when he grabbed his plate and went into the pavilion, there they were.
Ryan’s face was painted like a tiger, and Dylan’s was painted like a wolf.
His stomach clenched, and he wanted to dump his plate in the trash and leave. But in that moment of hesitation, Dylan noticed him.
“Mister Shane,” the little boy shouted, waving.
Leah looked in his direction, and even from a distance, he could see the worry crossing her brow. She turned back and said something to Dylan, who looked chagrined.
Probably a warning not to talk to him anymore. But Dylan scooted off his bench and came toward him.
“Mom said it’s okay if I invite you to come sit with us.”
She did? That didn’t sound like the woman he’d just talked to, but he wasn’t going to argue with the little boy who looked at him with such hope in his eyes.
“That would be great. I was wondering where I was going to sit.”
Dylan gave him a big smile.
“I like your face painting. You look almost like a real wolf.”
“It was Joshua’s idea.” Dylan made a face. “I wanted to be a cowboy, but cowboys don’t do any face-painting things. Mom said that if I’m really good today, she’ll buy me my very own cowboy hat. Maybe you could help pick it out.”
Something as simple as a cowboy hat shouldn’t be a knife to his gut, but considering Shane already had one in a closet at his house that he’d picked out for Dylan that was supposed to be a reward for finishing his cowboy lessons, it felt terrible. Leah would probably tell him that he was wrong for assuming and buying it without asking her. But he’d seen it and hadn’t been able to help himself. Kind of like the lonely mare in his paddock. He’d had no use for it, but it seemed the perfect horse for the boys, and it had been, for the short time they’d been with him.
When he got to the table, Leah smiled warmly at him. Almost like nothing had happened between them. What had changed?
* * *
Leah hadn’t expected to see Shane so soon after talking to Fred. But her eagle-eyed son had spotted him right away. She really had no choice but to invite him over.
“Leah.” He tipped his hat at her like she was any ordinary person on the street. But after knowing what he’d done...
“Mister Shane!” Even Ryan had a gleeful greeting for the man. Shane reached down and ruffled his hair, smiling.
“Are you guys having fun?”
“I tiger.” Ryan pointed to his face. “Rawr!”
Shane jumped back. “Ooh, scary. You’re not going to eat me, are you?”
Ryan grinned. “I only eats da bad guys. You a good guy. I no eat you.”
Even her littlest boy could recognize something Leah hadn’t been able to. Shane had been telling her all along that he was a good guy, but she hadn’t been willing to believe him. She’d been blinded by her own pain from the past.
“I’m a wolf. Ow-oo.” She had to grin at the way her son needed to show off for Shane. Her boys clearly loved him very much. And as Shane made wolf and tiger noises with her boys, her heart clenched.
Would he forgive her? She’d told him that she’d been struggling with forgiving him, but he’d had no comment on his feelings toward her.
Nicole returned, carrying a big bag of cotton candy. “Look what I found. Who ate all their lunch?”
Both boys jumped up. “Me.”
“Aunt Nicole! Mister Shane is here.”
At Dylan’s excited exclamation, Nicole turned and gave Shane one of her famous glares. Leah hadn’t had time to discuss matters with her sister. She didn’t know about the conversation Leah had had with Fred.
As Nicole opened the bag containing the cotton candy, the boys quickly forgot about Mister Shane and ran to their aunt.
“Nicole, the fishing derby is about to start. Would you mind taking the boys, and I’ll catch up?”
The women exchanged glances, and Nicole nodded. Holding out her hand, she said, “Come on, boys. Who wants to catch a fish?”
Once they had scampered off, Leah turned to Shane.
He took a step back. “I know. I did my best to keep my distance from them. I’m not trying to be disrespectful to you or your parenting. They’re your boys, and you have every right to say who gets to be with them.”
It was hard avoiding a person in such a small town. She’d thought that they would end up running into each other at church, but she seemed to miss him coming and going. Still, it was inevitable that they would see one another. And Shane would obviously encounter her sons.
To her surprise, at this moment, she found herself happy to see him. Because after running into Fred when she left the feed store, she owed him a huge apology.
“It’s okay. I might have been a little too harsh with you. In fact, I was hoping we could talk.”
It was harder than she’d expected to admit how wrong she’d been, especially when Shane looked at her so suspiciously.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he said.
“If not now, can we please set a date?” She hoped she sounded like a kinder, gentler version of herself, someone he wouldn’t be afraid to talk to.
Shane nodded slowly. “We can take a walk by the river if you like.”
He still had a plate of food in his hand.
“Don’t you want to eat first? I don’t mind waiting.” She gestured at her own empty plate. “I need to clean up, so eat. And then I’m happy to wait for you to be done.”
He gave her a slight nod, then sat at one of the benches the boys had vacated. He still looked as though he thought she might go off on him at any minute, and she didn’t blame him. After all, she hadn’t given him much reason to think anything different.
She let him eat in silence as she cleaned up after the boys. Lingering over the trash can, she wanted to give Shane the space he needed to finish his meal in peace, but she also wanted to give herself the chance to collect her thoughts and formulate what she was going to say to him.
In the past, her prayers had been half-hearted attempts at talking to a God she wasn’t sure existed. But now, she knew He was real. And she knew He was listening. Lord, please help me find the words. I’m not asking for everything to be magically all right betw
een us, nor do I expect that things will be perfect. But I want us to hear each other out.
Her heart felt lighter as she returned to Shane. He was just finishing his hamburger.
“I’ll take you to a spot I know, where it’s less crowded,” he said.
He’d asked her for privacy when they’d had their argument in the café. But she hadn’t listened. She’d been too angry. Whatever came of this conversation, she would pay attention to what he wanted.
They walked past the crowd and down the trail along the river. She’d never been this way before, not wanting to let her sons get so near the water. Neither boy could swim, and the idea of being that close to such a fast-moving creek would have been too tempting for them.
They came around the bend, where there was a bench. Shane gestured to it. “I don’t think we’ll be disturbed here. It’s a popular place for people to walk, but with everyone so busy at the Fourth of July festivities, I doubt anyone will come upon us.”
Leah took a deep breath as they sat. This was the moment of truth.
“I owe you an apology,” she said.
He nodded. “You mentioned wanting to talk.”
“I talked to Fred today. I was trying to be pleasant, so I made a little joke about him hiring someone. I think he thought I was mad, even though I wasn’t. He was quick to tell me that he didn’t hire me because of my lack of availability. But he also told me off over how I had ruined you.”
He looked at the ground but didn’t say anything.
“Is it true? It hurt your finances to hire me? And took everything you had to buy those cows? And to keep paying for their care, you had to get a job?”
He looked over at her. “Yes.”
His voice was barely a whisper, like he hadn’t wanted to admit it.
“You risked everything to save us. Fred said those cows were in awful shape.”
Her Cowboy Inheritance Page 16