by Deanna Hall
I’d started looking in the local paper for jobs and rooms to rent. I figured if I found a job and place to live close by Beth and Big Chase would be easier to convince that this was the right choice for all of us.
Mated
Mia
One afternoon after school, I was sitting on the bench outside the Ice Cream shop waiting for Pete to pay the check. I was scanning the town newspaper. Big Chase and Beth hadn’t been happy about my decision to move; however, since I promised to stay close and hang out at the ranch often, they reluctantly agreed to let me try it. When someone sat down next to me, I assumed it was Pete. “Hey Pete, here’s someone looking for a roommate.”
“Are you moving?” A sickly-sweet voice asked.
Just my luck, it was Penny. I looked at her smiling face. I could still feel the loathing behind it. She didn’t like me one bit. The feeling was mutual, though I was never going to give her the satisfaction of knowing it.
“Oh, Hi Penny,” I answered just as sweetly. “I thought you and CJ might enjoy the loft apartment for a while once you’re married. I know the house is nice; I just thought it might give you some privacy. You know, like a romantic hideaway. So I’m looking for my own place.”
My comment gave her pause. “Wow, Mia, that’s really thoughtful, considering I kinda stole CJ right out from under you.”
Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. If I could befriend Penny, maybe I could find out if the baby really was CJ’s. All I had to do was try and convince her I wasn’t that into CJ. I’ll admit lying and being sneaky wasn’t my style; only sometimes, you need to fight fire with fire.
“To be honest, he’s kind of overprotective and controlling for my taste. By the way, congratulations on the baby.”
“Wait, he told you about the baby?” Penny blurted out in surprise.
“I overheard him talking to his parents. Don’t worry; I won’t tell anyone. Better you than me. I’m not interested in getting tied down to some country hick. Not even one as hot as CJ. I spent five years mostly alone; I want to get out there and do some living, you know? What’s Denver like?”
Penny overcame her distress at my knowing the truth about the baby at the mention of Denver. “Oh, Denver is wonderful, you’d love it. There are the best nightclubs. I used to work at this one, The Beta, on Blake Street. It was my biggest hangout. It was close to my apartment and the university I was attending.” She went on and on gushing about Denver.
I asked, “Do you think it would be hard to get a job there at my age?”
“Oh no, I could get you a fake ID. Even without it, the club owner would hire you in a heartbeat. I made tons of money in tips. The uniform was a little skimpy, nothing too sleazy, though. You know… I’m looking for someone to sublet my apartment until my lease ends.” She was in a rush to see me gone. Well back at her.
This could be the perfect chance to snoop. “Is there any way I could see the place? There’s only a few weeks of school left; then I can hit the road. I have a little money in the bank. If I like the apartment, I could afford the rent on it until I could get a job. We have Monday off because of Memorial Day. It would be a perfect time for a weekend getaway.”
“That’s a great idea. I’ll give you the key and address. Bring some friends, have a party. It’s pretty big for a one-bedroom. There’s plenty of booze in the cabinet. I’ll call my friend and get you an ID; then, you can check out the clubs. Most of the kids in town already have them. I have a bunch of clothes for clubbing. Help yourself; it’s not like I’ll be needing them anymore.”
She started rummaging through her purse for her phone, then snapped a picture of me. “Davis does good work, and he’s fast. He’ll have your ID ready in a couple of hours. You’re going to love it in Denver, trust me.”
“Gee, thanks, Penny. I really appreciate it. No hard feeling about CJ, I hope. I barely knew him. Heck, we never even made it past the kissing stage.” I lied.
She smiled again with less animosity. “None. I actually envy you. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. I’ll be a married woman and mother before you know it. If you go to the bar, ask for Dallas. He’ll hire you right away, I’m sure of it.”
I couldn’t help noticing how the idea of getting married and being a Mom seemed abhorrent to her. I would have given anything to be in her shoes. Marrying and having a child with CJ would be a dream come true.
Pete walked up just as Penny was leaving. “What did the Queen Bee want?”
I smiled. Seeing Peter always made me smile. “Hey Pete, any chance you’re up for a road trip.” Once I explained Penny had offered us the apartment for the weekend, he heartily agreed. After which we invited the rest of the gang, who were equally enthusiastic.
Like every other night, I debated whether to go down to supper. It was hard seeing CJ at dinner. Most nights, I ate in my room, especially if I saw Penny’s car in the drive. Since it wasn’t in the driveway tonight, I joined the family for dinner. I automatically looked at CJ’s spot to find him watching me. It was a habit I couldn’t seem to break. He looked so unhappy it made my heartache. Penny was seated next to him. Darn, he must have picked her up.
Once we were all seated and grace was said, Penny spoke up, all excited. “Mia tell everyone the exciting news, or should I? Oh, let me. Mia has decided to move to Denver when school gets out. She may even sublet my apartment. She’s gonna check it out this weekend with some of her friends. Isn’t that exciting?” Winking at me, she added, “Oh, Mia, I have the key and everything you need to have a wonderful time. Let’s talk after dinner.”
The feeling of fear and horror that filled CJ’s spirit almost made me choke. I wanted to tell him my real plan, except if I was wrong or there was nothing to find out, I didn’t want to get his hopes up. I tried to act like I was as excited as Penny. By the time I was done gushing over the idea, I had everyone in the room convinced I couldn’t wait to go to Denver.
Charlie must have seen the look of horror on CJ’s face because he spoke up, “Don’t worry, Mr. and Mrs. McCree, Dan and I are going along to keep an eye on things.” I felt CJ relax a little. After that revelation, Penny and I chatted amicably through dinner. Mostly about Denver.
I followed her and CJ outside when we were done. Penny pulled out a manila envelope. “There you go. Everything you need for a wild weekend, fake ID, and all. You’re gonna have a blast, I promise. You know I wanted to hate you only now I think we’re gonna end up being great friends.”
When she hugged me, I could feel she meant it. Ugh, the last person in the world I wanted to be friends with was Penny. I was glad she couldn’t sense my feelings like I could hers.
“Thank you so much, Penny. I’m excited to see what life is like in the big city.” Honestly, I couldn’t fathom how anyone would want to live in a crowded, noisy, dirty city when they could enjoy the beauty of these wide-open spaces.
CJ felt like he was ready to explode any minute. Finally, he couldn’t hold back anymore. “Mia, this is insane. The city never interested you before. Why are you going on this trip? Is it to punish me? Give Penny back the key; it’s not happening. I’m not letting you go.”
What came next was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I rounded on CJ, pretending to be angry. Getting angry was never hard for me; I just had to think about what my grandfather had done to my family. The anger was never really far below the surface.
Concentrating on it, I shrieked, “Who the hell do you think you are? You professed your love for me then dumped me the first chance you got. As soon as Penny showed up, you were done with me. Making it clear in the most public, embarrassing way no less.
You made your choice; therefore, you have no right to tell me what I can and can’t do. Just because I think of your family like mine doesn’t give you the right to act like my big brother and boss me around. I appreciate your concern CJ; I really do; nevertheless, I took care of myself long before you met me. So back off.”
The color drained from CJ’s face. He looked like
I’d stuck him. “I never lied to you, Mia, and I didn’t dump you. You’re the one who insisted I do the right thing.”
“Your right, I did because she is carrying your child for goodness sake. Knowing that, what did you expect me to do? Then again, you didn’t try very hard to change my mind either, did you? Admit it; you were glad I talked you out of doing something stupid. That way, you were off the hook without having to accept responsibility for the decision.”
CJ hung his head. “You’re right, sorry, I won’t butt in again. Penny, I’ll see you inside when you’re done here.” I felt sick watching CJ walk away with his head hanging, and his shoulders slumped. I desperately wanted to take away all the pain I had just caused him.
I turned to Penny. “Sorry if that seemed harsh. It’s just, CJ seems to think I’m some stray puppy he has to look after. I’m sick of it. Just because he’s the first guy I ever dated, if you call a month or so of hanging out dating, doesn’t mean he’s responsible for me for the rest of my life.”
“CJ has always been very protective.”
“Well, I don’t need his protection. Now you can go console him and have makeup sex.”
“Don’t be too hard on CJ, Mia. He won’t even have sex with me. He says he wants to wait until we're married. I know he can be overprotective, though I relished it. My dad, um, never mind. Anyway, I think he’ll make a great father, don’t you?”
I had to hide the fact that I was extremely pleased by her words. “I’m sure he’ll be a wonderful father.” I’d had about all the playing nice I could stomach and said good-night. I spent another night crying myself to sleep, despite my conviction not to cry anymore.
The next day went smoother. After school, we met the gang for shakes as usual. Claire told me it was agreed, Dan, Sara, and Charlie were going to come to Denver with us. I wasn’t sure if Dan and Charlie were coming as friends or spies for CJ, not that it mattered.
On the way home, I asked Pete a question that had been gnawing at me. “Pete, why are you so good to me?”
“Wow, Sunshine, you haven’t guessed?”
I couldn’t help my look of exasperation. “Duh, if I’d guessed, I wouldn’t have asked.”
Peter chuckled at my response before becoming serious. “Fine, if I have to spell it out for you, I will. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. You’re real, sweet, and fun to be with. You don’t mind being silly or yourself. You never put on airs or pretend to be someone you’re not. Everything doesn’t have to be about you. You’re easy to be around. You laugh at my jokes, and you’re so beautiful you outshine the sun.
Any guy who met you would want to spend time with you. They all do as a matter of fact. You just never notice. I happened to be lucky enough to have you notice me. I’m crazy about you, and I’m keeping your attention as long as I can.”
The passion I felt behind his words almost drown me as guilt washed over me. I looked out the window. “Oh,” I replied, barely above a whisper.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say? I pour my heart out, and you say, “Oh”?”
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t stop them from falling. Pete pulled the car over to the side of the road. “Mia, that wasn’t supposed to make you cry.” He felt confused and looked helpless.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you the way… I just don’t want to. I really like you, Pete. I enjoy your company. You make me laugh and feel good about myself without asking for anything in return.”
Pete sighed heavily. “I hear a but coming.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “I fell hard for CJ. It hurts a lot even now that I know he’s marrying someone else. After being alone for so long, I’d never expected to feel that way about anyone. Then Penny…” I couldn’t finish; I was crying so hard.
Pete pulled me into his arms. “Then Penny came back, ruining everything. I’m sure Penny knew CJ would never turn his back on his kid.”
“You know about the baby?”
“We all do. We can all see how miserable CJ is. Not to mention we can hear the baby’s heartbeat.”
“Oh, of course, I should have known I wasn’t the only one who could hear it,” I mumble before the tears got the better of me.
“Don’t cry Mia. It breaks my heart when you cry. You may have lost CJ, but you won’t lose me.”
I had to swallow a couple more times before I managed to say, “Even if all I can ever be is your friend?”
“Even if all you want is a lap dog. If I get hurt, it’s my own fault. You never lied to me. You’ve made it clear how you feel about CJ. If your friendship is what I get out of this deal, I’m a lucky guy. I’ll be the best friend you ever had.”
I hug him tight. “Thank you, Pete. I’ve never had a best friend.”
May 25th had arrived along with the melancholy it always brought with it. I’d kept the fact that it was my seventeenth birthday to myself. Given it was a reminder of the worst day of my life, I tended to hate this day. Beth, who knew my birthdate, had wanted to give me a party until I told her it was a hard day for me and why.
Beth was very understanding. Outside of giving me a beautiful, fringed leather jacket from her and Chase, she kept my secret. The jacket was one I’d spotted in a shop the day Beth and I had gone shopping. I almost bought it but being the frugal person I’d learned to be, I couldn’t justify buying something I didn’t need. That she’d remembered how much I’d liked it was as amazing as the gift itself.
To add to my already miserable mood, Penny was at dinner again that night. She was becoming a regular fixture. Though I was getting good at acting like her presence didn’t bother me. She chatted with me like I was her best friend. Then again, from what the gang said, she didn’t have any others.
CJ just poked at his food, ignoring everyone. Beth kept giving him worried glances. After dinner, Penny and CJ were sitting on the swing as I headed for the barn. “Mia, come join us,” Penny called over. CJ stiffened. Though I didn’t want to cause him more pain, I joined them. After all, I had to keep up appearances.
Penny was looking through bridal magazines of all things. “I need help picking out a dress. I was thinking maybe you would consider being my Maid of Honor.”
I stumbled mid-step, grabbing the porch rail to steady myself. The thought of being in CJ’s wedding was unfathomable. CJ must have noticed my reaction because he looked up at me. “It wouldn’t bother you to be in our wedding, right, Mia?” He asked me.
Payback is truly a bitch or maybe a bastard because I felt like CJ had punched me in the gut. I swallowed hard, trying to force down the lump in my throat. Crying now would blow things out of the water.
“It would be great. I’d be honored.” I finally managed. Even I could hear the lie in my words. I was happy Penny was so lost in her magazine she didn’t notice. CJ, however, kept watching me intently. I knew he could sense my distress.
I was relieved when Pete pulled in. “Hey, Sunshine, got a sec?”
“Sure!” I answered a little too eagerly. “We’ll have to do this later, Penny, I’ve gotta run. K?”
I heard CJ say, “Penny, I told you if the baby is mine, I’ll stand by you. We’re not getting married until I know it’s mine. So don’t get ahead of yourself.”
“I know, CJ, but I know it’s yours.” It was a conversation I didn’t want to overhear. I grabbed Pete’s arm and led him to the loft.
Once inside, Pete looked around. I saw him glance at the sleeping bag and pillow on the floor questioningly. “I have a hard time sleeping in soft beds.” Especially ones I’d slept with CJ in, I thought to myself. Pete nodded, and thankfully, he didn’t comment.
“I bought you something.” He told me as he handed me a box. I took it and opened it. It was an iPhone, the newest model.
“Pete, I can’t take this. It’s awesome, but too expensive. Besides, I don’t even know how to use a cell phone.”
“I’ll teach you. It’s easy as pie. You have to keep it; they won’t take it back.
Besides, it will pay for itself in the money I save on gas, having to drive over here every time I want to talk to you. My dad gets a discount because of his business account. The number is 977-867-4463. It spells sunshine, mostly anyway. It’s got unlimited everything, enjoy.”
“Beth told you, didn’t she?”
Trying to look innocent and failing, Pete answered, “Told me what?”
“That it’s my birthday.”
“Is it your birthday? What a coincidence. I can honestly say Beth never told me a thing.”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
Peter laughed. “Fine, it wasn’t Beth, though. I saw your information card in the school office the day you started school and made a note of your birthday. I couldn’t let it go by without acknowledging it somehow. How come you don’t like to celebrate your birthday? It isn’t every day you turn seventeen.”
“My parents were killed on my birthday.” I teared up. I was turning into such a crybaby.
“Oh, crap, sorry, Mia. Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.” Pete came over and hugged me.
“I hate it too. Now it’s all I seem to be able to do. Thank you for remembering and thinking of me. This is the nicest gift I’ve ever received. Wanna go for a run? Once we get to Denver, we won’t get a chance.” I told him.
“I’d love to.”
I saw CJ look over as we left. We headed to the woods, and I made Pete wait while I changed in the bushes. “Wanna race.” Pete thought. We raced through the forest full bore. Pete had a hard time keeping up with me. I felt the best I’d felt in days. There was nothing like the forest at night, with all its sounds and beauty, to soothe the soul.
I’d realized my friends made my life was worth living even with all the heartache. My life could be so much worse. So I was heartbroken, so what. I had a wonderful family and real friends for the first time in what seemed like forever. After years of being alone, I was blessed. It was time I stopped wallowing and appreciated what I had. Sharing this freedom was the best part.